


Beautiful Trauma

by teamchasez



Category: JC Chasez - Fandom, NSYNC, Pop Music RPF
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-10-10 12:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 117,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17426324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamchasez/pseuds/teamchasez
Summary: Rachel Bass loved JC Chasez from the moment she met him. JC had loved her just as long. Before they could confess their feelings, fate stepped in. Now fifteen years later, they are standing in front of each other once again with those same feelings from all those years ago.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is completely finished and will be updated consistently. I hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER 1

"Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?"

JC Chasez eyed the little girl in front of him. _'Not little,'_ he thought. He gauged her age to be around nine or ten but then he wasn't very good with ages of kids. He always pegged them younger than they were. There was something familiar about the impish tilt in her smile; the twinkle in her green eyes. He felt like he should know this girl.

"I don't..." He started, ready to politely decline. After all, he didn't need the temptation of delicious Trefoils and Samoas in his house. The girl gasped, cutting off his words.

"I know you!"

JC relaxed and smiled at the girl. He thought she was a little young to recognize him; his years of gracing the covers of teenybopper magazines had long since passed. "You do?" He wondered how many boxes she was gonna take him for. The longer he stayed, the more likely he was bound to buy something.

"Yes," she nodded excitedly. "You're in a bunch of photos at my Uncle Lance's house!"

"Uncle Lance?" JC's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the girl again. His lips parted in wonder when he realized who she was. "McKenzie."

McKenzie nodded. Her long blonde pony tail bounced with the movement. "I go by Kenzi now."

"Kenzi," JC corrected, smiling. "Wow, I haven't seen you since you were... I think four years old!" He was fairly certain the last time he had seen Lance's niece had been in Orlando in 2005 during a charity basketball game *NSYNC had put on for their charity, "Challenge for the Children". It had been the final time they had hosted the charity event.

"Not a very good honorary uncle," Kenzi said with a mischievous grin.

"Ouch," JC rubbed his chest playfully. _'There goes a case of Trefoils,'_ he thought. "I'm sorry. I've be lax on my uncle duties."

"You’ve missed a lot of birthdays and Christmases."

JC laughed, "You are just like your mother." He told her as he calculated how much nearly ten years of missed dates would cost in Girl Scout cookies.

"Thanks," Kenzi grinned proudly. "My mom is pretty cool. Other than the fact that I'm still in Girl Scouts at thirteen. I wanted to stop a couple years ago but she wouldn't let me." She looked around eyeballing the people walking around The Grove and to her own troop selling cookies. Satisfied, she looked back at JC. "Between you and me," she said with her voice lowered. "I think she won't let me because of her addiction to Thin Mints."

JC was unable to hold back his laughter. Knowing McKenzie's mother the way he did, it sounded about right. You didn't come between Rachel Bass and her chocolate. "So it's safe to say you're completely sold out of Thin Mints? Your mom already get her hands on them?"

Kenzi giggled, “No, we have some.” She sent him a look, one eyebrow arched. “Is that what you want? Thin Mints?"

 _'Oh, you're good,'_ JC thought a grin teasing his lips. "I'm more partial to the Samoas." He watched as Kenzi curled her lip and leaned toward him.

"Just between you and me, I think those are disgusting."

JC laughed again unable to believe this little girl. She was something else. "Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell the head Scout that someone in her troop thinks one of her cookies is disgusting."

Kenzi giggled and took his hand, leading him toward the table set up with all the Girl Scout cookie deliciousness. He felt like a fish on a hook. While he waited for his cookies, he looked at Kenzi. He couldn't believe he hadn't recognized her from the get go. She was a Bass through and through; the blonde hair, the green-yellow eyes and the crooked smile that both Lance and his twin sister Rachel sported. She was like a miniature version of her mother. It was hard to believe that it had been nearly ten years since he'd last seen McKenzie. 

McKenzie had taken an immediate liking to him. He didn’t see her a lot when she was an infant because they pretty much lived on tour from the time she was born. The Celebrity Tour ended and they announced a temporary hiatus. He and Justin had did the solo thing. Lance ended up in Russia. Once Lance returned from Russia, Rachel and McKenzie had moved in with him. Even though she lived in Florida, he still rarely saw her with his own solo touring going on. 

Once Kenzi hit the toddler age she had attached herself to him whenever they saw each other. She'd been an adorable little toddler who had taken an immediately liking to him. The guys had joked she had her first crush. He hadn't minded, just let her play with the curls that adorned his head at the time and held her baby doll when she handed it to him. Honestly, he was smitten with her too.

There were a lot of pictures floating around from their charity event on the Internet and he came across them often. The later ones had a lot of photos of him and Kenzi. Briahna had been there as well, but she always stuck close to Joey and Melissa. McKenzie had gone back and forth between him and Lance. She never shied away from the others, she just was never quick to seek them out. He smiled remembering how put out Justin had been at the fact.

"Here you go."

Kenzi's voice brought him back and he reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He handed over the bills and tried not to frown when he got very little change back. The smile on Kenzi's face was worth it. "Pleasure doing business with you, Ma'am."

"Thank you JC!" Kenzi grinned at him.

JC started to walk away, but turned back around as a thought came to him. "Where are you setting up shop next so I won't be the sole reason your troop sells the most cookies?"

Kenzi giggled and looked down as a blush crossed her face. "Don't worry; you aren't the sole reason... Uncle Lance bought way more than you."

JC narrowed his eyes as he looked at Kenzi's innocent face. Rachel flashed before him and he shook his head. "I'm on to you," he said as Kenzi giggled again. "You swindled me out of enough money today, Kid."

"Uncle Lance complained too but that didn't stop him and Uncle Michael from eating an entire box in one sitting." Kenzi nailed him with a look that had JC wanting to quickly get away. "You wouldn't want to out buy him would you?"

JC laughed again. "I don't think so."

"Didn't think so. You still bought more than Joey."

"You hit up Joey and I had to run in to you on the street?" JC feigned hurt.

"Briahna’s my best friend,” Kenzi shrugged. "He had to buy some; it's in the daughter's best friend code or something."

JC chuckled. "You are something else, Kenzi."

"That's what my mom tells me too sometimes. Though I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not. Oh!" She gasped. "Don't move!" She quickly ducked beneath the table and reached for the backpack she had brought with her and took her phone from the front zipper compartment. "Can I take a picture with you?"

"Of course," JC smiled. He took McKenzie's phone from her put his arm around her. His heart warmed when she entwined her arms around his waist and hugged him. Holding the phone out, he snapped the photo of the two of them together. "What are you doing?" He asked watching as her thumbs quickly moved over her phone.

"Sending it to mom," she told him absently as she sent a text to her mother. _'Guess who I just saw!'_

"Rachel's not here?" JC asked looking around. At the table set up were five girls and two adults. Neither of them were Rachel.

"No, Mom did this last weekend." Kenzi said as her phone chimed with a text from her mother. 

_'Brad Pitt?'_

Kenzi rolled her eyes. _'Duh. No.'_

_'Bradley Cooper?'_

_'No. He's from that boy band you like.'_

_‘Joey McIntyre?!’_

Kenzi rolled her eyes and sent the photo JC just took of them to her mother.

_'How much did you take him for?'_

JC laughed at the reply. "Your mother knows you well."

"Who do you think taught me how to sell cookies?"

_'Not as much as Uncle Lance.'_

_'Your Uncle Lance is a pushover.'_

_'I know.'_ Kenzi added a smiley face to the message and promptly sent another one. _‘Think he’s ready for more?’_

_‘Lance and Michael are going to be handing Girl Scout cookies out for Christmas presents. They bought so many.’_

"You have a Twitter?" JC asked surprised when he saw McKenzie pull up the app. "Aren't you a little young to be on there?"

"You sound like Mom," Kenzi said with an eye roll. "She monitors my account and who I follow and what I say. You don't care if I post this do you?" She asked as she attached the photo of them to a tweet.

"No, go right ahead." JC said and really, he didn't mind.

"Oh, I know," she deleted the picture and pulled up her Facebook account, going into her photos.

"Is there any social media you aren't on?" JC asked. 

"No. But this one is private. Only my family and close friends are on here," Kenzi explained. "And everything is private; no one can see any posts or photos unless they are my friend. I really only have this so Gramma and Grandpa can stay updated. And Aunt Stacy since they live far away. Mom made it for me when we moved out here a couple years ago. Gramma made one too when I left." She frowned and relaxed her arms to her side, staring off into the distance. "I like being out here in California. I love being able to see Uncle Lance and Uncle Michael. We never really got to see them being in Mississippi," she sighed.

"But you miss Mississippi?" JC said knowingly. 

"Yeah." Kenzi looked up at him. "There's no winning. We stay here…I miss Gramma and Grandpa; Aunt Stacy and Uncle Ford...Leighton. But if we move back… then I'll miss Uncle Lance and Uncle Michael. It sucks."

"Yes it does." JC agreed. "My parents and siblings all live in Florida. I have a lot of friends who live there too from when I used to. I don't get to see anyone as much as I want to."

"Yeah but don't you have a lot of money so you can see them whenever you want?"

JC smiled patiently. "That doesn't mean my schedule is free enough for me to just take off to Florida. A lot of things have to be cleared for me to go away for a week or two."

"I hope Mom will let us go home over spring break. If not, I bet I could talk Gramma into coming out here."

"I bet you could," JC chuckled having no doubts that McKenzie could talk her mom or her grandmother into what she wanted.

"I hope so," Kenzi said and brought her phone back up and went into one of the albums to grab the picture she wanted. Finding the one she wanted, she grinned and showed it to JC. "Remember this?"

JC took the phone from Kenzi so he could better see the screen. "Wow..." he stared at the phone. The photo was from the final Challenge for the Children. He was sitting on the court floor, already in his red Knights basketball uniform. His knees were drawn up. Between his legs was a four year old McKenzie, dressed a matching red and white Knights cheerleading outfit; her blonde hair in pigtails. She had both arms wrapped around his neck in a squeezing hug with her cheek squished against his. Both of them were grinning at the camera. 

He had never seen the picture before.

"I have a bunch of other ones on here from there. Mom has a whole bunch," she laughed softly. "She took a lot of pictures. Still takes a lot of pictures."

"Yes. She was always wielding the camera," JC nodded still looking at the photo of him and Kenzi. "She probably has a whole bunch of us that I have never seen."

"Uncle Lance told me that I never wanted anything to do with anyone but you and him. Which is weird because I didn't really know you. Not like I knew Uncle Lance."

“You used to hang all over me when you saw me,” JC smiled at the memory. “You always wanted me to carry you. You constantly handed me your toys. You’d bring me books to read. You loved playing with my hair when it was longer. You used to pet it. The guys had a good laugh. I think you just wanted my necklace.”

"Your necklace?" Kenzi asked and looked down at the photo. Lying on the white undershirt beneath JC's jersey was a silver medallion on a black cord. 

"Every time I'd pick you up or you'd hug me you'd grab it and hold it in your hand rub your thumb over it.” He smiled softly at a memory that surfaced. “A few times you’d fall asleep doing that.”

"Maybe that's why I liked you more," Kenzi said glancing at him out of the corner of her eye with a sly smile. "You wore a necklace and they didn't."

"Maybe," JC chuckled. "Whatever the reason I was able to bust the guys' chops because you didn't like them."

"You're welcome," Kenzi grinned at him.


	2. Chapter 2

“So how’d it go?” Rachel asked as her daughter walked in. Kenzi tossed her bag down on the floor by the door and kicked off her shoes. The khaki uniform vest followed.

“Boring.” Kenzi said collapsing on the couch with her phone in hand. 

“Come on now,” Rachel said pushing away from the storyboard desk where she had been working on the illustrations for a children’s book. She and her best friend, Melissa Fatone, worked together. Melissa wrote the stories while she did the illustrations. It had just been something silly they had worked on to pass the time during the Ain’t No Stopping Us Now tour. Joey had come across them a few years later when he was moving boxes around in his attic. He showed them to Lance. With Joey and Lance pushing them, she and Melissa decided to give it a go. They had never expected it to last, but 10 years later they were still cranking out books. Last year, they turned the books into an animated series on Nickelodeon. Melissa also wrote books for elementary girls. Rachel likened her friend’s series to The Baby Sitters Club books they grew up with. Melissa’s books were based on a group of friends and the trials and tribulations of entering middle school. 

Besides doing the illustrations with Melissa, Rachel also did freelance design work for ad companies, sold her own paintings and drawings online. Recently she finished up a contract to provide the artwork for hotel in Los Angeles. They had been renovating and updating the decor. She submitted pieces and they had liked her work and hired her. The project was a huge undertaking. Not every room held an original piece. A lot of them had replicas which was great for her because she would have spent a good year working on enough original pieces to outfit the hotel. 

“No one wants to buy cookies here,” Kenzi said not looking up from her phone. Her thumbs were moving like lightening across the screen. Rachel figured she was talking to Briahna Fatone. The girls had been best friends since Rachel and her daugher moved to Los Angeles a couple years prior. “You know no one eats in this town.”

Rachel snorted. “Girl Scout cookies are enticing enough to kick anyone off their diet.”

“It’s just not fun anymore. Briahna got to quit. Why can’t I?”

Rachel sighed. She knew it was coming. Every year that went by, the less interested McKenzie seemed in the group. It got worse when Briahna had decided not to do it again. McKenzie had been in Girl Scouts since Kindergarten. They had been living in Mississippi at the time in the town she grew up in. The troop had been amazing and she hated to leave. In California, she placed McKenzie in Briahna’s troop to try and lessen the blow of having to leave all her friends behind. “If you quit, who would I get all my Thin Mints from?”

This time McKenzie snorted. “Exactly what I told JC was the reason why I couldn’t quit. He knew all about your chocolate addiction.”

Rachel swatted her daughter’s leg. “I do not have a chocolate addiction.”

“Riiiight,” McKenzie drew out. “Need I remind you how many boxes of Thin Mints are sitting in the pantry? Not to mention the boxes of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls? How about the Hershey Bars? Bag of Hershey Kisses in the butter drawer of the fridge. The box of Godiva chocolate in the drawer next to your bed...”

“How do you know about the chocolate in the drawer next to my bed?” Rachel stared at her daughter.

“I can hear the paper crinkling at night.” McKenzie giggled. 

Rachel gaped sending McKenzie a mock glare. “Fine.” She raised her right hand. “Hi, my name is Rachel Bass and I’m a chocoholic.”

McKenzie giggled. “Gonna find a 12-step program?”

“And give up chocolate?” Rachel gasped. “Never!” She pushed her daughter’s legs off the couch and sat down beside her. “So did you lighten any other celebrity’s wallet?”

“No, just JC’s. He didn’t recognize me.” McKenzie laid her head on her mother’s shoulder as she launched another bird across the screen in an attempt to kill the pigs. 

“I bet not,” Rachel said staring across the room as she thought about JC. It had been years since she had seen him. “The last time he would have seen you would have been about nine years ago or so.”

“I tried to use that as a guilt trip to make him buy more cookies.” McKenzie stuck her tongue out as the building collapsed killing all the pigs but one. “Didn’t work.”

Rachel laughed, “I bet not. But it was a nice ploy.” When the group took a hiatus, every one seemed to scatter in the wind. Lance went all the way to Russia for six months to study to be a cosmonaut. JC and Justin released solo albums. Joey and Chris went home to Orlando where Joey settled in raising Briahna. She had been in Mississippi raising McKenzie. After Lance returned from Russia, she took her daughter and moved in with her brother. She had missed him something fierce with the touring and being on another continent completely. Florida didn’t last long. Eventually, everyone started moving away. Lance decided to move to California. JC and Joey soon followed suit. When that happened, she moved back to Mississippi. Only Chris stayed behind in Florida. It had been a long time since she’d seen Chris, even longer for Justin. They didn’t walk in the same circles anymore. Between Lance and Melissa, she was always informed as to what everyone was doing. 

“Hey,” McKenzie said, interrupting her thoughts. “JC sent me a friend request on Facebook.”

“He did?” Rachel looked down to see that while her mind had been wandering, McKenzie had stopped playing Angry Birds and moved on to Facebook. “You sure it’s him? I can’t believe he would have a social media account.” JC had always been the one who was most shy in the group. Very rarely did he share personal information. She found it odd that he’d be on a site that’s all about divulging personal information. 

“Maybe he has it because he misses his family in Florida,” McKenzie said. She tapped on his name, bypassing his request. “It says we have friends in common - Lance, Michael, Gramma, and Joey.”

“Must be legit,” Rachel said noting the friends they had in common. “Go ahead and accept.” She was very protective of her daughter’s online habits. She checked everything and made sure no creeps were anywhere near her profiles. “And how would you know if he’s missing his family? Just what did you talk about other than cookies?”

McKenzie shrugged, “we just got to talking about why I had a Facebook. I told him it was so I could talk with Gramma and Grandpa and everyone in Mississippi. I told him how I missed them but how if we moved back home, I’d miss Uncle Lance and Uncle Michael... it just sucks.” She sighed.

“I know baby,” Rachel wrapped an arm around her daughter, pulling her into a hug. “I miss everyone too.”

“Think we can go back for spring break?” McKenzie asked hopefully. She turned pleading eyes on her mom.

Rachel laughed seeing the look. McKenzie was a carbon copy of her. It was a fact she would be forever grateful for. The blonde hair, the green-yellow eyes, the crooked smile. McKenzie was going to a beautiful young lady. That drove her nuts. She didn’t want boys to be coming around. Even at thirteen it was already starting. Rachel used every opportunity to yell at Joey and Melissa for not having a boy McKenzie’s age so they could get married. She doubted McKenzie would wait for 2 year old Caleb Fatone to grow up. Joey always joked the age difference wasn’t important and pointed out the difference between Lance and his fiancée Michael. “I’ll have to look at the calendar and see what we have going on, but we might be able to.”

“Yes!” McKenzie fist pumped. “Maybe Lance and Michael can come with us? Wouldn’t that be awesome? We’d all be together. Maybe we can all go somewhere?”

“I don’t know about that,” Rachel started, trying to nip McKenzie’s idea in the bud before her imagination got the better of her. “I have to check with not only Lance and Michael, but Stacy as well. I don’t know if everyone’s schedules will mesh up. Plus, I don’t know when spring break is for Leighton and the boys.”

“Maybe Briahna can even come with us!” McKenzie said excitedly. “Her and Leighton would love each other. It would be so awesome! We would be the best of friends. Go off to college together and share a dorm room...I’m gonna call Leighton.”

“Kenzi!” Rachel called as McKenzie jumped up off the couch and ran from the room. She sighed when she was ignored and fell back against the couch, groaning. Stacy was gonna kill her. 

*~*~*

“You are in so much trouble,” Rachel said as she put her cell phone down on the couch cushion beside her. Stacy had not been happy to say the least.

“What?”

“Don’t what me.” Rachel said sternly. “Do you know how much planning goes in to taking a vacation? Especially with a lot of people going and their schedules? You have Leighton all excited about something that hasn’t even been given the okay yet.”

“But Mom,” McKenzie moaned. “You have to say yes! Briahna already said she’s looking forward to going.”

Rachel groaned, knowing she was going to get a phone call from Melissa soon. “Nothing has been planned! How can you invite people on a vacation that has no dates, no location, no one attending?”

“We already have dates!” McKenzie pointed out. “Spring break!”

“Where are we going?” Rachel raised her eyebrow when her daughter fell silent. “Vacation takes a lot of planning. Lots of adult planning.”

McKenzie sighed. “Why don’t you just say no right now instead of letting me get all excited about it only to say no later.”

“Kenz,” Rachel sighed and changed her tone. “I’m not saying no.” McKenzie’s head snapped in her direction and her eyes widened. She could see the excitement swimming in her eyes. “But.... you need to give me time to call Gramma and Grandpa; Lance, Stacy, and Melissa. I have to see if they would want to go somewhere...if they would even be able to.”

“So it’s not a no?” McKenzie said trying to contain the grin on her face. She bounced on her legs, unable to contain her excitement.

“It’s not a no,” Rachel relented. She shook her head as her daughter shrieked and gave her a hug. “Now, go to bed.”

“Thank you Mom!” McKenzie shouted and ran out the room and up the stairs.

Rachel sighed and rubbed her head. She had no idea if she could pull a trip together. It would be nice to be able to have a family vacation somewhere. She wondered if she could get away with going to Mississippi over spring break and then planning a family vacation in the summer. It was much further away and allowed everyone more time to make arrangements. 

Deciding to deal with it tomorrow, she started locking up and turning the lights off before heading upstairs. On the way to her room she stopped to give McKenzie a kiss on the forehead and say goodnight. The older she got, the longer her nighttime ritual became: makeup removers, moisturizers, creams. The tubes and bottles threatened to overtake the counter. 

When she finally crawled in to bed, she was already thinking about what would be a good vacation. With so many people going, it was hard to pick a place where everyone would be happy. Would it be the beach or the mountains? Would they stay somewhere in the United States or hit up a more exotic location such as Mexico or somewhere in the Caribbean. With ideas floating through her head, she picked up her phone intending to do a little research before calling it a night. Like what happened most nights she found herself on Facebook, scrolling through posts from her friends and family. 

A red bubble caught her eye at the top of the page; new friend request. Tapping on the bubble her eyes widened seeing JC’s name. It was the same account that had sent McKenzie a request earlier. She smiled, hit the accept button, and then sent him a private message. 

_‘I hear Kenzi was able to maneuver you into buying cookies. She’s a pretty good manipulator.’_

She was surprised when she got an immediate reply. 

_‘I wonder where she got that from.’_

Rachel laughed softly. _‘Definitely not me.’_

_‘Right. Couldn’t be you. She tried to play me with out buying Lance.’_

_‘No one can out buy Lance. He has never been able to say no to her. I can’t wait until he has kids. I already have a list of things I’m doing to get back at him.’_

_‘Poor Lance.’_

_‘Poor Lance my ass. He is not innocent. The stories I could tell.’_

_‘I was shocked to see Kenzi today. It’s been awhile. How have you been?’_

_‘I’ve been good. Finished up the artwork for the Hyatt last month. Working on illustrations for Mel’s next book. Busy taxiing Kenzi here, there, and everywhere. Stopping Lance from completely corrupting her, which is a full time job.’_

_‘Lance mentioned you scored the contract for the art at the Hyatt. Congratulations! Totally cool! Would it be too weird to just ask to check out the art in the rooms and not actually book a room?’_

_‘Would definitely be weird, C.’_ Rachel laughed. _‘I’ll send you some photos of the work if you really want to see and you’re not just being polite.’_

_‘Come on, I always loved your drawings. I still have the one you drew of all of us as superheros.’_

_‘Oh yeah! Forgot about that one. Justin was so ticked that I made him Aqua Man.’_ She giggled remember the reactions the drawing had garnered. Joey had been Superman because he was obsessed with him. Lance had been Spider-Man. Chris had been Hulk. JC had been Captain America. _‘It’s a good thing I never showed him the one where I made him Robin to your Batman.’_

_‘Please tell me you still have that?’_

_‘It might be somewhere in the boxes in the attic. You made quite an impression on Kenzi today. She wouldn’t stop talking about you tonight.’_

Aside from talking about this alleged vacation, McKenzie kept taking about JC while they sat down for dinner. She had so many questions about him. Rachel even dug out her old albums filled with photos she took of the guys when she toured with them or simply hung out with them in Florida. 

_‘Me? All I did was buy way too many boxes of cookies.’_

_‘Not as many as Lance though.’_ She added a winking face.

_‘Nice try.’_

Rachel laughed at his response. _‘She had a lot of questions about you. Even pulled out old photo albums. Caught her watching YouTube videos of performances and interviews.’_

_‘Maybe because she doesn’t know me? I haven’t seen her since the last charity event.’_

_‘Terrible honorary uncle.’_

_‘Still not buying more cookies.’_

_‘That might be it. You’re someone she hears about, but doesn’t remember meeting. Makes sense. She’ll probably be on to something else tomorrow.’_

_‘Old news already.’_

_‘Don’t take it personally. She’s 13. She loves me today. Tomorrow I may be the worst person in the whole world.’ Which she very well may be if she couldn’t get a vacation ironed out._

_‘I hope it was okay I sent her a friend request.’_

_‘Oh yeah! That’s fine.’_ Rachel yawned and was surprised at the late hour. She lost track of time talking to JC. It had been years since they’d done that. _‘I need to get to bed. It takes everything I have plus 3 cups of coffee to get Kenzi ready and to school on time. She’s not a morning person at all.’_

_‘That’s cool. It was great catching up.’_

_‘Don’t be a stranger.’_ Rachel sent and then sent her phone number. She smiled when JC sent his number in return. After saving it in her phone, she checked the alarm one more time and placed the phone on the bedside table. She rolled over and with a smile on her face, fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

“Look alive!”

Rachel shot up, blinking her eyes rapidly. She looked around the room, narrowing her eyes in Melissa’s direction. Her friend was doubled over laughing. “Not funny.”

“Late night?” Melissa asked her friend. She had stopped over at Rachel’s house to see how the illustrations were coming. She’d been surprised to find Rachel nearly falling asleep at her desk.

“You could say that.” Rachel yawned and rubbed her eyes. She gratefully accepted the cup of coffee Melissa handed her. She wondered how long she’d been asleep if Melissa had time to brew coffee. 

“Anyone I know?” Melissa wiggled her eyebrows. 

“JC.”

Melissa froze, blinking in surprise. “Wow, there’s a name I didn’t expect you to mention.”

“Right?” Rachel took a sip of the coffee and grimaced. “You can’t make coffee for shit Mel.” She sat it on the counter and grabbed the milk from the fridge. That and sugar was the only way to fix the disaster Melissa called coffee.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Melissa waved her off. “JC.” She tapped the counter to get Rachel’s attention. “I wanna hear more about this. God it’s been years.”

“You’re telling me.” Rachel still hadn’t processed the fact that she had talked to him after so long. 

“Still got the hots for him?” She teased, chuckling when Rachel blushed. “Ah! You do!”

“I don’t know! It’s been so long since... I haven’t seen him in nine years I think it’s been.” Rachel sat at the kitchen table with her newly doctored coffee. “Kenzi ran in to him yesterday when she was selling Girl Scout cookies-”

“How much did she take him for?” Melissa interrupted knowingly taking a seat across from Rachel.

“More than Joey, less than Lance,” Rachel laughed.

“Wait until I tell Joey that, he’ll buy more just to beat him.” She knew her husband’s competitive nature. “Kenzi will blow her goals out of the water.”

“When she got home it was JC this and JC that,” Rachel said, running a finger around the top of her cup. 

“Like mother like daughter,” Melissa teased. “I remember when it was you that was JC this and JC that.”

“That was a long time ago. Things have changed.” Rachel broke in. Her life took her in a completely different direction than she thought it would. She had never planned it. The direction took her away from JC. Their paths had gotten close, almost meeting, then hers veered off suddenly. 

“Not so much if you’re still giddy as a school girl...”

“I’m not a school girl Mel. I’m a 34 year old with a 13 year old child.”

“You’re not dead.”

“I just thought my life would be different,” Rachel said quietly, looking down at her cup. 

“I know you did,” Melissa reached across the table and placed a comforting hand on Rachel’s arm. “But here you are. You have a beautiful 13 year old daughter, who is just awesome. You have a loving and supportive family. Great friends. You have a career you love. So the man you wanted got away the first time. He’s not off limits Rach. He never has been. He’s still there for you to reel in. Don’t let him get away this time.”

*~*~*

Rachel was still thinking about Melissa’s words later on her way to Lance’s. She had always thought she’d end up marrying JC. She had many fantasies about their friendship progressing into a more romantic one. She crushed on him hard from the moment they’d met. Those feelings only grew the more she got to know him. She fantasized how they would get married and have a handful of kids. It had always been her dream to have at least four kids. One night had ruined every single dream she had. It had nearly ruined her. 

After that night, her life had been different. She didn’t dream the same dreams she had before. Those dreams were much too good for her. JC was too good for her. He deserved someone better. Someone who wasn’t an unemployed, uneducated, knocked up, unwed twenty-one year old. Someone who could be there for him during the craziness that was being a member of one of the top musical acts. She wasn’t able to be that person for him anymore. 

Now she was completely in a different place; both with her life and with her head. She had been able to go to college and graduate. Her parents, Stacy and Ford, plus their extended family had all pitched in to help with McKenzie while she pursued her education. Even though she forbade him, Lance helped with tuition. She had a steady career. Thanks to the childrens’ books - a nice nest egg saved in the bank. She rented a nice house, in a good neighborhood, and was able to afford to put McKenzie in a nice school. The same one Briahna attended. There had never been a man though. No matter how many dates she went on, she couldn’t make anything grow into a relationship. It was like that night had killed more of her than she realized. 

Melissa had been right about one thing. It had been years since the two of them talked about her obsession with JC. There were many nights they sat up talking all night about her crush on the singer. The school girl crush she had on him had continued to morph in to something more. Yet she had never been able to tell him. They had always gotten along so well; had a lot in common. They could always talk to each other without fear of embarrassment. Melissa had hounded her countless times to tell JC about her feelings but she kept coming up with excuses not to tell him. 

Then it was too late.

Pulling into Lance’s she sighed and relaxed back into her seat. With her head back on the headrest she stared up at the interior. She tried not to think about how her life didn’t turn out like she had thought. Thinking like that had never gotten her anywhere. She had McKenzie and she couldn’t imagine not having her in her life. Maybe Melissa was on to something. As far as she knew, JC was single. If he wasn’t Melissa would have told her. She could reel him in; see if there were lingering feelings for either of them. If not, then she could finally put to rest the dreams she still had of them.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she grabbed her phone and quickly sent off a text. _‘You busy tomorrow? Wanna grab lunch and catch up?’_

Embarrassment set in when it was too late to recall the text. Unable to face it, she shoved her phone in her purse. Her keys followed suit. Climbing from the vehicle she went to the back, lifting up the hatch. Inside lay a finished painting she had done for someone Lance knew. Lance was gonna deliver it for her.

Inside the house she was met with barking dogs who had come running at the sound of the door. Sitting the wrapped painting against the wall, she knelt down to properly greet the dogs. “Hey Foster,” she rubbed his head, scratching behind his ears. She laughed when Dingo wormed his way in. “I got two hands; no need to get jealous. Plenty of love to go around.” When she gave them ample amount of scratches and love, she pushed off the floor and walked into the house, searching for her brother or Michael. She found them outside by the pool. 

“It must be nice to just lounge poolside all day long,” Rachel teased. “All that’s missing is a cabana boy serving you drinks, fanning you with a palm frond.”

“You’re here now.”

Rachel laughed at her brother’s fiancé. “Left my palm frond at home.” She nudged Lance’s leg until he scooted over giving her enough room to sit on the lounger.

Lance chuckled at his sister. “What are you up to today?”

“Brought that painting over today,” she told him. “It’s all finished and ready for you to deliver.”

“Great. I’ll let him know I have it and I’ll probably get it to him this weekend.” Lance said. “I saw the photo Kenzi posted on Facebook yesterday of her and JC. How many cookies did she con him in to buying?”

Rachel laughed. “Not as many as you I’m told.”

“What kind of uncle would I be if I didn’t buy the most?” Lance chuckled. “Besides, I leave them by the desk in the basement and the guests end up taking what they want.”

“That how you get people to come on your show? Bribe them with Girl Scout cookies?” Rachel teased. Lance hosted a daily radio show on Sirius. It broadcast from his basement. He had a broad range of topics and guests, but it was mostly pop culture and the current news in the entertainment world. 

“You’re such a brat.” Lance told his sister. “It’s my charming personality and good looks that get them to come on.”

“You do have a face for radio,” Rachel mused, laughing when Lance’s arm shot out and slapped her on the thigh. 

“Better watch it, your face isn’t all that different.”

“What are you guys doing for spring break?” Rachel asked, changing the subject. 

“When is it?”

“Kenzi’s is in two weeks.”

Lance looked at Michael who shrugged. “Nothing right now. Why?” He looked back to his sister. He frowned seeing the look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Rachel sighed. “It’s just Kenzi is missing everyone back home... she wants to have everyone get together. She wants to go on some grand vacation with everyone, but she doesn’t realize the planning it would take and it is such a short notice. God, she was on the phone last night with Leighton talking about it. You should have heard the earful Stacy gave me.”

Lance laughed. “I can imagine.” He’d been on the receiving end of Stacy’s rants plenty of times. “So what did you want to do?”

“Well, I figure maybe we can plan a family vacation toward the end of summer, maybe even July, and go somewhere.”

“Kenzi gonna be happy being put off until summer?” 

“No. Which is why I thought, we could all go back to Mississippi for the week. You guys too. I know it’s not what Kenzi wants…” She shrugged. “I don’t even know when Stacy’s kids are on spring break.”

“Sure.” Lance said looking at Michael, seeing him nod. “We’re down. Just let me see if I have anything going on that week and if I can reschedule. You talk to Mom yet? Stacy let you get a word in while she yelled at you?”

Rachel laughed. “No. My ear was still ringing an hour later. I’ll call her after I leave here and see what she says. Mom as well.”

“Let me know. Maybe we can get some place on the coast for a few days.”

“Sure, I’ll call you later.” Rachel stood up from the lounger. She leaned down, kissing Lance on the cheek, following suit with Michael. “You guys are looking a little red, time to turn over.”

She left the patio to their goodbyes and I love yous. Her purse was on the floor by the door next to the painting. She picked it up as she walked out the door. When she rifled through her purse for her keys that magically seemed to always fall to the bottom, she saw her phone. The display had lit up revealing a couple of texts from JC. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach and she lifted the phone in trepidation. 

_‘We could grab lunch now, if you wanted.’_

_‘But tomorrow is good too if you’re busy. When and where?’_

Rachel let out a little shriek and did a little dance in her seat. Now she wished she hadn’t hid her phone in embarrassment so she could have taken him up on the offer for lunch today. One look in the rear view mirror had made that decision for her. It was fine to visit her brother like this, but she could not go out to lunch with JC.

_‘Sorry about that. I was at Lance’s. I can’t do lunch today. How about...I don’t even know where you live. Don’t want to make you come out of your way.’_

_‘I’m down with wherever. I live in West Hollywood.’_

Rachel grimaced. She lived in Calabasas. It was over an hour distance between them and that wasn’t including traffic. It was bad enough driving to Lance’s. _‘I’m all the way in Calabasas.’_

_‘I told you I don’t mind driving.’_

_‘There is a really good place in Culver City. Mel and I went there a few weeks ago. It’s called It’s In The Bread.’_

_‘Yeah. I know the place. It’s off Pico and Fairfax. Meet you there around 12?’_

_‘Perfect! See you then!’_


	4. Chapter 4

Lunch had been a bad idea. Rachel was so nervous there was no way she would be able to eat. She should have suggested meeting for coffee. At least she thought she’d be able to choke that down. She was running behind, thanks to traffic. JC was already waiting at the cafe. That made her feel worse. 

Finding a parking space as close to the cafe as she could get, Rachel checked the mirror one last time. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She was just meeting a friend for lunch. Nothing more. Telling herself that all morning hadn’t worked. She was nervous.

Walking down the street, she wondered if she was dressed okay. Her bedroom was a disaster. She must have tried on a dozen outfits before settling on a pair of burgundy pants, paired with a cream colored flowing spaghetti strap top decorated with light pink and dark pinkish-purple flowers. Over that she had a crop jean jacket with the sleeves rolled. Black flats and a long silver necklace completed the outfit. 

She crossed the street and the cafe came into view. It was still relatively unknown yet. People tended to flock toward the popular eateries or the ones where they had the possibility to eat next to a famous actor. She preferred obscure places the locals frequented. They were never over crowded and the food was always delicious. Unlike most cafes in downtown LA, this one didn’t have a gate around the tables. The tables just sat right on the side walk welcoming anyone to come up and grab a seat. 

Scanning the tables, she immediately saw JC. The smile grew on her face. He raised his head and noticed her. The smile he sent her caused her heart to stop. She quickly skirted the other tables as he rose from the chair. All morning she wondered how she would greet him: a handshake, a wave, a hug? Seeing him in front of her, there was no way she was not going to give him a hug.

“JC!” She laughed and threw her arms around his neck. “Damn, it is good to see you.”

JC laughed and hugged Lance’s twin sister to him. He was so glad she had arrived. For some reason he had been nervous she wouldn’t show up, especially since she had been running late. “It’s good to see you. You look amazing.”

“Thanks,” Rachel could feel a blush start to creep across her face. “I pretty much run off caffeine and sarcasm these days.”

“And chocolate,” JC grinned taking his seat after Rachel sat down. 

Rachel groaned, giving a little laugh as she sat her purse down by her feet. “Kenzi swears I’m one hidden drawer of chocolate away from needing an intervention.”

“You still hide the ice cream sandwiches in an empty bag of frozen broccoli?” JC’s eyes twinkled as he teased her. 

“The absolute best hiding place ever! How do you think I always managed to have candy bars on the tour bus?” Rachel’s eyes sparkled. “No one ever looks twice at a bag of frozen broccoli.”

JC laughed. “That’s true.”

“How’d you know about the broccoli bag anyway? I swore no one knew about.”

Back before they actually started receiving the money they earned, they were all on the same bus. 5 guys crammed on a tour bus. Space was limited, especially when Melissa and Rachel joined them. Sometimes it felt like they were on top of each other. It had allowed them to grow close though. They spent every moment together. It wasn’t until they left Trans Continental for Jive Records that they started seeing the money they had truly been earning. That led them to buy two brand new tour buses. He ended up on a bus with Justin and Chris. Joey and Lance shared the other one. “I was starving after a show and we had no food. All there was, was this bag of broccoli.” He laughed as Rachel erupted into laughed. “Imagine my surprise when it wasn’t broccoli but Klondike Bars. Let me tell you, those sure hit the spot better than broccoli ever would have.”

“Oh that’s too funny!” She was able to curb her laughter long enough to give her drink order to the waiter. “How’d you know they were mine?”

“Like anyone else was smart enough to think of that trick,” JC grinned when Rachel snorted. “I made sure to restock your stash before you came back on tour.”

“It’s a wonder you guys didn’t starve to death when Mel and I weren’t touring with you guys.”

“We all had our own stash of food hidden somewhere.” 

“Joey probably kept his next to his porn stash.” Rachel laughed when JC choked on his drink. “Sorry.” She giggled as he took his napkin wiping his mouth. 

“Do I even want to know how you know where Joey kept his porn?”

“Probably not, it’s not what I’d consider a conversation to be had over food.” They fell silent as they browsed the menu. 

“How long have you been in California?” JC asked after they had given their orders. He knew when she moved, Lance had shared it with them almost immediately over their group text. They used the group text to pass along information that pertained to the group and what was going on in their lives, but mostly it was used to share old photos and memories and make fun of each other. It was over the messaging that they shared updates on their families. Lance kept them updated on his parents, Stacy and her kids, and Rachel and McKenzie. 

“Two years now. It was tough to move; leaving my parents and Stacy. Rough for Kenzi. Leaving her family and all her friends.” Moving away from Mississippi had been a big decision; one that had taken her months to decide if it was the correct move for her family. It was rough on McKenzie leaving all the friends she had grown up with. It was rough on her as well. She was leaving her parents and her sister; her grandparents and other extended family. She grew up in that town. It felt like she was in a rut though. Her life was stagnant in Mississippi. It was the same thing day after day. She was living, but not really living. A change needed to be made. 

There were no regrets moving to California. It was great living close to Lance again. She missed being able to hang out with him. It was also wonderful to be living close to Melissa again. They had plenty of good times together since she’d been in California. There had been lots of laughs and straight up shenanigans that Joey could only shake his head at.

“She mentioned missing everyone yesterday. It’s tough having family scattered everywhere. I tried to help, explaining how I visit my folks in Florida as often as I can.”

“So it’s you I have to blame.” Rachel narrowed her eyes at him.

“Whoa,” JC held his hands up showing he was innocent. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Kenzi came home yesterday talking about spring break and going to Mississippi...what was that look?”

“What look? Nothing.” He sighed as Rachel’s eyes narrowed even further. “Fine, I just mentioned that she’d probably be able to talk you into going to Mississippi for spring break.”

“Why would you say a thing like that?”

“I didn’t want her to con me out of buying any more cookies than I already had! I panicked.”

“Eh, it’s not your fault. Once she has an idea in her head, she can be pretty stubborn.”

JC smirked. “No idea where she got that from.”

“Right?” Rachel met his eyes, grinning. “The little shit - and I mean that as nicely as possible - somehow took going to Mississippi for spring break and twisted it into going somewhere on vacation with not only my parents, but Stacy and her family, Lance and Michael, and Briahna! Then to top it all off, she called and told Leighton and Briahna all about this supposed trip.”

JC cringed and gave a low whistle. “I bet Stacy wasn’t too pleased.”

“To say the least. Man, she called me and my ear was still ringing an hour after we hung up. Usually I get to sit back and snicker while she gives Lance an ear full.”

“Maybe you should have blamed it on him.”

“Ah damnit! I should have! I’ll remember that for next time Kenzi pulls a stunt like this.”

“Being only 13, you’re gonna have to deal with stunts like this for awhile yet.” He laughed when Rachel groaned. 

“I’ll just tell Joey to dig out those convent pamphlets he’s always threatening Briahna with. Maybe we can get some sort of deal; a two for one special.”

“He does not have pamphlets on convents,” JC laughed. “You’re right,” he laughed harder at the look Rachel sent him. “It’s Joey. Of course he does.”

“I remember when we first moved here,” Rachel chuckled, shaking her head. “Kenzi and Briahna didn’t really know each other all that well yet. Mel and I just sort of threw them together. Joey was taking them somewhere and he drove by that one church on Venice Boulevard and--”

“He did not,” JC started giggling. 

“Kenzi came home horrified, near tears, talking about how Joey was sending Briahna away the next time she acted up.” Rachel couldn’t help herself laughing with JC. “Stacy had nothing on the phone call I had with Joey. Of course he spent the whole time howling in laughter.”

“I’m surprised Kenzi ever went back to his place.”

“Oh it took awhile. Joey finally had to apologize, telling her he was teasing. Now she practically lives there. I swear one of these days they are gonna serve me papers demanding child support.”

Their lunch was served then and the conversation hit a lull as they dug in to their food. She heard her phone go off and she made a face. “Sorry,” she told JC as she reached for her purse. She pulled her phone out and checked the screen seeing a message from Melissa. Rolling her eyes as she read it, she didn’t bother to respond. She simply put her phone on silent and tucked it back in her purse. “Sorry about that. I thought I had it on silent.”

“Something important?” JC asked and found himself hoping the answer was no and she could stay. 

Rachel shook her head. “Just Mel telling me that I’d better be drawing and if I’m not told me what she’d do to me in no uncertain terms.”

“Close to a deadline?” JC asked. He didn’t ask what the terms were. He knew Joey’s wife well enough to know to leave some things alone.

“Her deadline.” She rolled her eyes. “The story’s done. I’m working on the illustrations. Halfway done. She just wants it done so she can hem and haw over it, make me change half of them. Then make me put it all back to how I had it originally. Sometimes I want to strangle her.”

“The books are really great Rachel.”

Rachel beamed at him. “Thanks! Can’t believe this is book 28. I never thought we’d get past the first one.”

“Oh come on,” JC nudged her foot with his. “You knew it was great; you guys just needed a little push.”

“Well it certainly helped with you guys pushing it.” Rachel smiled softly at him. It had warmed their hearts when she and Melissa saw JC, Chris, and Justin talking about their books when it was first released. “Now we get messages from your fans telling us how they read these books to their kids.”

“Never ending cycle. How long you gonna do them?”

Rachel shrugged. “Probably until Mel runs out of ideas. She’s the brains.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. Mel may write the story, but you brought them to life in kids’ mind.” JC told her earnestly. “With your drawings you helped kids imagine a blue penguin in a white tuxedo being an international super spy or going into a monster’s castle to get a soccer ball.”

Rachel stared at JC in silence. She was flabbergasted how he easily spoke of the storylines in a couple of their books. She was certain the soccer ball one had been one of the first books released. Her lips twitched as she fought a smile. “Do you read our books?” She chuckled seeing JC blush. 

“I haven’t read them all.” JC said, his face on fire from a blush. “I do have them all though.”

“You have all our books?” Rachel asked surprised. 

“Yeah. Gotta support you guys.”

“C, you’re the best,” Rachel reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “I can’t believe you bought 28 children books.”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” JC shrugged, trying not to feel the loss when Rachel pulled her hand back. “I support all the guys in what they do. I’ve known you as long as I’ve known Lance. Mel a little longer. You’re family. Why wouldn’t I support you?”

Rachel felt warmth spread through her. JC hadn’t changed over the years. He had always been the most supportive of any projects the guys took part in. “Thanks JC. That means a lot. Though,” she quirked an eyebrow. “Does that mean you have a shelf full of Mel’s books?”

“It does.” 

Rachel chuckled. “It’s a good thing she doesn’t write trashy romance novels.”

“Thank God,” JC laughed. He’d buy the books to show his support, but he’d probably keep them in a box somewhere hidden from view. He knew the type of covers those books had. “Congratulations on the TV deal. Joey couldn’t wait to share it when it happened.”

“That’s mostly Mel,” Rachel said before taking a drink. 

“Yeah but you have a say in some of the creative stuff right?” JC leaned back, allowing the waiter to take away his plate and watched as he cleared away Rachel’s. 

“A little,” Rachel shrugged. “It’s really Mel’s deal. It’s her creation...”

“Yeah but you created them. You drew them, brought them to life.” JC could feel himself being offended for Rachel. 

“JC, it’s really okay. I didn’t want to be part of the series. I don’t want to work with industry people. I just...” she shook her head, warding off bad memories. “I’d rather stay behind the scenes. I will do the illustrations for the series as long as we do them. Mel overseas the TV thing. She knows I don’t want anything to do with it. She almost didn’t accept the deal because of it. It took everything I had to make her see she’d be an idiot if she turned it down. There was a lot of legalese and lawyering, but my name is on the series. Mel would only take the deal if it was 50-50. So even though she’s the head, I get the same. I don’t think that’s fair, but she wouldn’t take the deal any other way.”

“That’s good. I hate to hear you were taken advantage of,” JC let himself relax at the news. He had been worried that no one had been on Rachel’s side during negotiations and she’d been taken advantage of. In his opinion, Rachel deserved every thing that Melissa did when it came to the series. There wouldn’t be a series without either one of them. While she had been around the entertainment industry early on, she had never been privy to the underground workings. There was a much sinister and dirty side that a lot of people kept hidden. People tended to focus on the polished and bright outcome. He didn’t want her to be tainted by that dark side.

“Lance read over every piece of paper before I signed anything. He came to every meeting.”

“Good,” JC said knowing Lance wouldn’t allow his sister to be used or given a bad deal. “That’s good.”

“What about you?” 

JC blinked, caught off guard at the question. “What about me?”

“We spent the whole time talking about me.”

“I didn’t mind.” JC winked. 

“Come on JC,” Rachel felt herself blushing again. “What have you been doing? Where have you been hiding? Why don’t I hear you on the radio?”

JC squirmed in his seat, breaking eye contact. He was more than happy to keep their conversation on her. He enjoyed hearing all about her. Her life was more interesting than his was. “Ah, no one wants to hear my shit.”

Rachel scoffed. “Oh come on! What about a few months ago when you did that one song for that sorority? Lance sang your praises the entire day.”

“Just doing a favor for a friend,” JC shrugged, brushing it off.

She narrowed her eyes. “Why do you think no one wants to hear you?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” There were still so many emotions he had surrounding his music and everything that happened. He preferred to just shove it down and forget about it. 

“But why? I just don’t understand why you aren’t making music and putting it out there. You would blow everyone away on the radio. You’ve got so much talent...”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” JC snapped.

Rachel’s jaw snapped shut. There so many emotions on JC’s face and she dropped her head, looking down at the table. She threaded her fingers on her lap and pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry, JC; I shouldn’t have pushed.” She had no idea what caused her to keep harping on JC’s singing career. She’d seen JC’s demeanor change when she mentioned singing but she just kept pushing. She, of all people, knew all about off limit topics. The afternoon had been going so well too. Then she blew it. “Maybe I should go...”

JC sighed and pushed his bottled up emotions away. He rubbed his face and sighed. “No, stay.” He said, watching as Rachel met his eyes. “Please. I shouldn’t have snapped.”

“No I shouldn’t have...” she stopped when JC held a hand up.

“It’s okay,” he sent her a smile. “Apparently I have some issues to work out.”

“Don’t we all.”

“I do a lot of behind the scenes stuff. Like you, I like it. I write a lot and produce. I actually am in the process of cutting a track that will be on Smokey Robinson’s new CD.”

“Really?” Rachel gasped, the earlier tension forgotten. “What song? Or can’t you say?”

“My Girl.”

“Really?” Rachel squealed. “I love that song!”

JC grinned, laughing at Rachel’s reaction. “Really. I did the track with Smokey, Miguel, and Aloe Blacc.”

“Oh JC, that’s so awesome. I can’t wait to hear it!”

“I’ve also just started working with John Popper. His next album is gonna be a collaboration with a bunch of different artists.” He explained. 

“Producing?”

JC nodded. “Yeah. Also providing vocals on another song.”

“That’s really awesome JC,” Rachel told him truthfully. “I’m so happy for you. I can’t wait to hear these songs. I’m sure they are great.”

“Thanks.”

The conversation continued over the afternoon. They laughed and reminisced over old memories. JC talked about his parents and siblings still living in Florida and how they were doing. She’d been happy to hear they were doing well and that both Heather and Tyler were married now. She shared stories of their first weeks living in the LA area. Some had caused JC to double over in laughter. When the conversation had lulled, she looked at the watch on her wrist and gasp. 

“Oh damn! It’s after 3!” She leaned down and grabbed her purse, pulling her phone out.

“You’re kidding?” JC pulled his phone from his front pants pocket where it had been the entire time. He hadn’t felt the urge to look at his phone once. He’d been entertained by the conversation. He and Rachel never had a problem keeping a conversation going. Topics had just come to them. There was also a lot of time where they didn’t talk at all, just sat quietly in the same room doing their own thing but comforted by the fact the other person was there. His screen lit up, revealing the time. It was indeed after 3. They had been sitting there talking for over 3 hours. “Oh man, you have to pick Kenzi up.” He had completely forgotten. He wasn’t sure the school she attended, but he knew how far away Rachel was from home. She’d never make it in time. 

Rachel quickly sent out a text message to Melissa asking her grab Kenzi from track practice. Melissa sent her a thumbs up. Her friend was used to last minute school picks up. Usually because Rachel would get lost in her art and lost track of time. She sent Kenzi a message letting her know the change before dropping the phone back in her purse. “I can’t believe I lost track of time.”

“Doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.” JC said. The bill had already been paid. They squabbled over it for a bit before Rachel relented, letting him pay. He had provided a generous tip for taking up the table for longer than anticipated. 

“It doesn’t.” Rachel smiled at him. “Surprised they didn’t kick us out.”

“You get Kenzi taken care of?” JC asked, standing when Rachel stood.

“Yeah, Mel’s gonna pick her up from track. I’ll be home in time to take her to piano. I hope.’

“She plays the piano?” JC asked. His hand touched the small of her back as he guided her around the table and chairs as they made their way from the cafe. 

“Yeah, started when she was 6.” Rachel told him as they walked down the sidewalk to her car. He fell in step beside her. “She enjoys it. She’s really good too,” she couldn’t stop bragging on her daughter. “I can barely play ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb’.”

JC laughed. “Better student than you, then?”

Rachel laughed. “Oh yeah.” JC had tried teaching her when they were bored and had down time. She had taken lessons when she was younger, but it had been so long she’d forgotten most of what she learned. It hadn’t taken them long to realize the piano wasn’t in her repertoire. 

All too soon they arrived at her vehicle. The afternoon was over. She shuffled her feet, hoping to prolong the goodbye, but she knew she had to leave. There was no telling how bad traffic would be.

“This was fun JC,” she looked at him with a smile. “I had a great time.”

“Me too,” he reached out opening the door for her, watching as she put her purse on the driver’s seat. He wanted to start up another conversation to keep their afternoon from ending, but he knew she had to get back. 

“How about we don’t wait so long next time?” Rachel asked, her eyes twinkling. 

JC laughed. “A decade does seem a bit long.”

“Maybe we should make it five instead?” Rachel teased causing JC to chuckle and shake his head. They were stuck in the awkward end phase. She didn’t want to say goodbye. He wasn’t quick with a ‘see ya later’ either. That made her feel good. She was crunched for time though. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, yeah,” JC nodded stepping back away from the door so she could climb in and pull it closed. She surprised him by not doing just that. Instead she moved to him and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. 

“Seriously, I had a great time.” She said, feeling his arms go around her waist. 

“Me too,” JC squeezed her before making himself let her go. 

“Don’t be a stranger.” Before she could talk herself out of it, she pressed her lips against his cheek. “Bye.”

“Bye,” he waved as she backed from the parking spot and left. He shook his head in disbelief not expecting the kiss. A smile grew on his face and he chuckled softly as he made his way back to his own vehicle.


	5. Chapter 5

“So what happened to you earlier today? You so in to drawing you lost all track of time that you forgot your daughter and couldn’t even respond to my messages?”

Rachel rolled her eyes at Melissa as she finished wiping down the counters in the kitchen. Dinner was eaten, the dishes were done and put away. Now the counters were clean. McKenzie was upstairs working on homework. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” Melissa’s voice broke in over the phone. “When you get in these grooves, it works out well for me. Of course it would work better for me if your groove would mesh up with my groove. Then we’d be able to crank books out by the dozens. Every time I get in a groove, I can’t get you to draw me a stick figure.”

“I’ll draw you a finger. You know which one.”

“Love you too.” Melissa’s chuckle rang in her ear. “So did you finish? I can stop by tomorrow and pick it up. That will work out well anyway. I can take it...”

“I wasn’t working on the drawings today Mel,” Rachel cut her friend off before she continue in a long run off sentence. “I’m getting ready to sit down now and work on them.”

“Then what were you doing today?”

“Having lunch.” Rachel told her. She walked over to her storyboard and sat down on the stool. 

“Lunch?” Melissa repeated. “Funny. My phone didn’t ring.”

“You weren’t invited,” Rachel teased.

“Oh my God!” Melissa shrieked. “You were on a date!”

Rachel grimaced and pulled the phone away from her ear. “I was not on a date. Hell, it’s been so long since I have been on one of those, I don’t even know what it is anymore.”

“Who were you having lunch with? Was it Lance and Michael?”

“No. It was just a friend.”

“Oh just tell me,” Melissa said exasperated.

“You’ll make it in to a big deal,” Rachel said, enjoying teasing her friend. She’d been in a good mood all day. The smile hadn’t left her face. She hummed along to the radio while making dinner. McKenzie even commented on her mood.

“I will not. Who’d you have lunch with? Where’d you go?”

“JC-“

The shriek Melissa emitted over the phone was loud enough to cause hearing damage. “No fucking way dude! Are you serious? You had lunch with JC?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Mel.”

“Not that big...Rachel, you just had lunch with JC. The man whom you wished you had your own digital getdown with. The man you wanted up against the wall. The man who you wanted to get freaky deaky with. The man you...”

“Say one more NSYNC pun Mel and I’ll tar and feather you.”

“Why don’t you be my girlfriend, I’ll treat ya right....” Melissa sang, laughing when she heard her friend groan. “Oh come on! This is great news! Big news! Why didn’t you tell me he asked you out for lunch? I didn’t even know you were talking to him?”

“He didn’t ask me, I asked him.” Rachel clarified.

“Whoa, Rach... Man, I didn’t think you had the balls to do that.” Melissa whistled.

Rachel laughed. “You should have seen me. I sent it in a text and basically threw my phone down in the car and ran away like it would attack me.”

“It’s about damn time one of you made a move. I thought Joey’s 10 year plan was bad.”

“What are you talking about? My 10 year plan was awesome.” Joey said coming into the room to sit next to his wife. “Who made a move?”

Melissa could hear Rachel yelling at her over the phone to keep her mouth shut. “Rachel had a date with JC today.” The colorful language in her ear made her blush. 

“No shit?” Joey grinned. He leaned in close to the phone. “It’s about God damn time!”

“It wasn’t a date!” Rachel yelled into her phone. She rubbed her face and moved to pinch the bridge of her nose. She nearly fell off her stool when she heard Joey mention texting JC. “No! No! Mel, if you love me even a teeny tiny bit, you will not let him text JC. Seriously Mel. I’m begging you.”

Melissa laid her hand on Joey’s and shook her head. “He’s just messing. He isn’t going to text JC. In fact, he was just leaving and taking the kids for ice cream...”

“Ice cream!” Two year old Caleb shouted over his father’s ‘I was?’ He immediately abandoned the toys he’d been playing with on the floor and ran to his parents. “Ice cream!

“Yes you were,” Melissa smiled sweetly at him. “Go on!” She shooed him away. 

“You want ice cream?” Joey asked grabbing Caleb up and tossing him in the air. He knew when he was being dismissed.

“Yes!” Caleb laughter and shrieks echoed through the house. 

“Girls!” Joey yelled up the stairs for Briahna and Kloey. “We’re going to get ice cream! Let’s go.”

“Alright,” Melissa said once the door closed behind her family and the house fell silent. “Spill.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Rachel started.

“Uh, how about how the hell you ended up on a date with JC! Seriously Rach, how the heck did that happen? I thought you hadn’t seen him in years.”

“I haven’t seen him in years or hadn’t. He sent me a friend request on Facebook—”

“That jerk! He hasn’t friended me on Facebook.”

“I just sent him a message about buying cookies. We talked until late and exchanged phone numbers. Kenzie’s all JC this and JC that.”

“Must be hereditary,” Melissa joked. 

“I had a weak moment yesterday and sent him a text asking to meet up for lunch. I drove to Culver City today to meet him.”

“ _‘It’s In The Bread’_? I love that place!” Melissa was able to get out before she squealed in excitement. “This is amazing! How’d it go?”

“Like no time had passed,” Rachel sighed remembering. “I was walking toward the cafe and he looked up and saw me... the smile he gave me... Mel, I almost became a puddle on the ground.”

Melissa squealed in excitement again. “Oh that’s so romantic! What else happened?”

“I hugged him,” she laughed at the sounds Melissa was making. “He smelled so good!”

Melissa erupted in laughter. “They sure smell a lot better than they used to right? I swear I didn’t think they’d ever lose that sweaty ball funk they had going on. I bet that was ingrained in the fabric of the bus. You could probably look their old tour buses up and I bet they still smell the same.”

Rachel laughed. “I was constantly spraying air freshener. I had to practically bathe in my perfume. I was so afraid that sweaty ball funk was on my clothes and everyone could smell it.”

“What happened next? Come on, don’t leave me hangin’! You hugged him, he smelled good, and...”

“And nothing,” Rachel laughed. “We sat down and had lunch. I don’t think we stopped talking the whole time. It was just like it used to be with us, you know? We could talk for hours. It felt so nice. It was like no time had passed at all.”

“Awwww,” Melissa couldn’t stop herself for squealing in excitement. “That’s so great Rachel.”

“We just lost track of time. I didn’t want to leave. He walked me to my car. It was like that whole awkward junior high stage where you didn’t want to say goodbye or hang up the phone. Eventually we said goodbye. I hugged him again, kissed his cheek and left.”

“Shut the front door!” Melissa exclaimed. “Let me get this straight. Not only did you ask him out on the date, but you initiated both hugs and kissed his cheek? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

“I told you, I had a lapse of sanity. My brain completely checked out.”

“Your brain should check out more often,” Melissa said dryly. “If it had checked out 15 years ago, you’d be signing Rachel Chasez for real, instead of writing it all over your drawing pad in secret.”

“You swore you’d keep that a secret!”

Melissa laughed. “Relax, no one knew you practiced how you’d sign your name if you would have married JC. It’s not like they didn’t know you had the hots for him anyway. I lost big money betting that you two would be knocking boots before the start of the NSA tour.”

“You bet on my sex life with JC?” Rachel shrieked. “Melissa!”

“If I had known you didn’t have a sex life, I wouldn’t have bet on it. You could have bet on mine. I wouldn’t have minded.”

“Oh yeah? For what? How many times you and Joey knocked boots before he went on stage? How about how many songs I had to listen to on my disc man before it was safe to take off the headphones. The damn fire department didn’t have enough water to hose you two down.”

Melissa snorted. “What can I say? I couldn’t get enough of his big ole booty.”

“It wasn’t his booty you couldn’t get enough of,” Rachel deadpanned. 

“So when’s your next date?” Melissa asked when the laughter died down.

“It wasn’t a date.”

“Who paid?” Melissa grinned, waiting for Rachel’s answer. 

“Well he did but...”

“It was a date.” Melissa said smartly. 

Kenzi backed away from the room and slowly made her way up the stairs to her room trying not to make a sound. She hadn’t meant to listen to her mother’s conversation. She’d come down the stairs armed with a homework question. When she heard her talking about JC, she found herself stopping to listen in. Ever since Sunday she’d been thinking about her honorary uncle, watching old videos on YouTube, browsing through photos online, and flipping through her mom’s old photo albums she had in a box in the attic. She couldn’t shake the feeling there was something more to him. There was something she couldn’t figure out. The way her mother had talked about him stuck with her. Her mother had never talked about anyone like that before. 

Kenzi pulled a photo album from under her bed where she had stuck it. The album was full of photos of her with the group - group ones, individual ones. Most just looked like randomness. She concentrated on the ones that had JC in them. There were a lot. JC had told her, she liked him. Her mom had corroborated the statement. The many photographs backed them up. She was with JC a lot, especially when she was a toddler. 

It was those pictures she looked at the hardest. The ones where she was a baby weren’t helpful to her. Babies really didn’t have distinguished features. As a toddler though, Kenzi could see the features. Her green eyes and blonde hair she got from her mother. People told her every day she was spitting image of her mother. She would have to agree with them. There had to be something that she didn’t get from her mother though. There had to be something she had of her father. 

Her father. This unknown man. She didn’t even know his name. She didn’t even know what he looked like. They were learning about genetics in science class. She knew her DNA had half of her mom’s and half of her father’s. She knew her mother’s half. It was her father’s she was trying to figure out.

She shuddered thinking about her mother having sex, but it’s where she came from. What she overheard on the phone, Melissa was betting on her mother having sex with JC. From the stories her mom had told her, and from Lance, she knew Rachel had toured with the group a lot and even lived in Orlando with Lance. The whole group had lived in Orlando. It was possible one of the members from the group could be her father. Lance was out for obvious reason. Joey too. She knew he and Melissa had been dating since high school. That left JC, Chris, and Justin. 

To her the evidence was clear. When she was little, she preferred JC. There were more photos of her and JC in the album than anyone else, including Lance. Her mother went starry eyed when talking about JC. There was a drawing pad in a box in the attic where Kenzi had found the photo albums, filled with sketches of JC. Some of the drawings Rachel had signed ‘Rachel Chasez’. Other sketches had hearts drawn around him. Kenzi thought it was vomit inducing when she had first seen them. She couldn’t believe her mother acted like a lovesick school girl. Now, it held a different meaning. Putting at that information with what she just learned - her mother had been in a relationship with JC - there was only one safe bet.

JC was her father.


	6. Chapter 6

“Why are you in such a good mood?” Briahna asked Kenzi when they sat down at the cafeteria table with their trays of food. She had been ecstatic at the beginning of the year to learn that she shared lunch with her best friend. The moment they picked up their schedules they were on the phone with each other comparing to see what classes they had together. Aside from lunch, they had three other classes together – math, science, and band. It would have been a dream to have all the same classes, but she’d take having lunch together over anything else. She didn’t want to eat alone.

“No reason,” McKenzie grinned, dunking a French fry in ketchup. “Can you believe the amount of homework Mrs. McNeil gave us tonight?” Mrs. McNeil was their math teacher. They were learning graphing and coordinates. It all made her cross –eyed and want to run a finger over her lips in a crazy manner. 

“Least your mom can help you,” Briahna pointed out as she took a bite from her chicken nugget. “If Dad isn’t home, I’m screwed. Mom takes one look at math and tells me the answer is _‘purple because aliens don’t wear hats’_.”

McKenzie snorted. “You should see my mom when I have science homework. She tells me science is why she learned to draw.”

“How about that science homework? I think it’s pretty cool to be able to find out the blood types of your parents just by knowing yours. I remember reading something on Facebook about how someone found out there were adopted because their blood type didn’t match their fathers. Can you imagine if that happened in our class? How embarrassing!”

McKenzie fell silent. She wasn’t looking forward to science homework. She knew her blood type and already did the table in class. It was easy to do when you only had one blood type for comparison. The teacher had talked about how each of their parents’ blood type played a part in their blood type. Bringing up a chart, she showed them what blood type from each parent produces what blood type in a child. He also brought up how you can figure out what a parent’s blood type was by only knowing the one parent’s type and the child. 

That was the part she was after. She had stared at that section of the chart. She knew she was type O. When she got home she would find out her mother’s blood type. Then all she had to do was figure out a way to find out JC’s blood type. She wondered how she could ask him without it appearing too weird. 

“Dude, what is up with you?” Briahna asked seeing her friend space out again. She’d been doing it a lot the past couple of days. “Don’t give me that nothing crap either. I know you. Come on. Tell me.”

McKenzie leaned her head close to Briahna, so no one else would overhear. Briahna tucked her head close. “I think I know who my father is.”

Briahna pulled back surprised. “Shut the front door!” Her jaw fell open in shock. “Are you kidding me right now?” They had many conversations about McKenzie’s father. McKenzie confided in her how she was jealous of her because of her dad. How he was always doing things with them. McKenzie thought he was crazy and how he made her laugh. It made Briahna feel lucky and thankful that her dad was in her life. She couldn’t imagine if he wasn’t.

McKenzie shook her head. “No!”

“How? Who!” 

“JC!”

“Noooo,” Briahna gasped. “How did you figure that?” McKenzie had been quick to tell her all about meeting JC. He had been one of the elusive members of the group that Kenzi had never met. She had seen JC often growing up. Since McKenzie met him, she couldn’t stop talking about him. She went on and on.

“Well my mom was living in Orlando when she got pregnant with me,” McKenzie explained. “He lived in Orlando too.”

“Millions of people live in Orlando Kenz.”

“Yeah, but I overheard my mom talking to your mom about her sex life with JC.”

“Ew, gross.”

“I know. But I found boxes in the attic filled with a bunch of mom’s stuff from the NSYNC days. There were so many photos of her and JC. So many photos of me and JC! Plus, she had a drawing pad filled with like a hundred sketches of JC. She wrote her name _‘Rachel Chasez’_ all over some of them, like she was practicing her signature.”

“No way,” Briahna gasped. “How cool would that be if JC turned out to be your dad?”

“Right?” McKenzie grinned as the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. They both grabbed their trays and quickly walked to dump the trash and put the trays through the window where they’d get washed. They walked back to their table to gather their books. 

“How are you gonna find out for sure? I mean, what if JC doesn’t even know?” Briahna asked as they started walking from the cafeteria. They would part ways at the steps. She was on her way to English, while Kenzi was off to history. 

“I know. I need to get mom to confirm it. I just don’t know how. I also gotta see if he’ll tell me his blood type. I’ll see ya in band.” McKenzie said to her friend and let herself be moved with the crowd down the stairs.

*~*~*~*

“Mom, what’s your blood type?”

Rachel stirred the cubed chicken in the pan before sitting the utensil down on the counter. “Why on earth do you want to know that?”

“For school.” McKenzie was sitting at the kitchen table, with her homework and school books spread out before her. “It’s for science class. We’re learning about DNA, genetics, and blood type. We learned about twins too. You and Uncle Lance don’t share the same DNA because you’re different genders. Same with Uncle Michael and his sister. I thought it would be cool if genetically I’d be Uncle Lance’s daughter too.”

“Me too. Then I could send you to him when you’re being a brat.” She tugged on her daughter’s pony tail.

Kenzi rolled her eyes at her mother. “Also, there is a possibility that you could have twins or I could have twins. That it’s the mother who decides.”

“That’s a terrifying thought,” Rachel said. “Why would you want to have twins? Twice the diapers. Twice the feedings in the middle of the night.”

“Yeah, but you’d always have someone to play with.”

“Your Uncle Lance was a pain in the butt. I wanted to sell him half the time. Ask your Gramma. I made a want ad to put in the paper trying to get rid of him.”

“No you didn’t.” McKenzie laughed.

“Ask her. I think she still has the ad somewhere.”

“So what is your blood type? Do you know mine?” 

“I’m O negative.”

“Really?” McKenzie pulled her notebook closer to her and flipped the page back. She skimmed the page with her finger until she found what she wanted. “That’s the universal blood type. That means you can share your blood with anyone.”

Rachel laughed. “I kind of like my blood where it is, thank you very much.”

“But Mr. Miller said that O negative blood is the kind that blood banks need the most. You can give to any blood type. That’s why they need yours more.”

“This is sounding more like health class than science class.”

“Well Mr. Miller gets off topic a lot,” McKenzie giggled. “It’s sort of funny. We try to get him off topic as much as we can. That way we don’t go over actual work. Then there is usually no homework.”

Rachel laughed. “Good to know I’m not the only one you try to manipulate. Why don’t you use your powers for good?”

“What are you talking about?” McKenzie grinned. “No homework is for good!”

“Looks like it didn’t work today,” Rachel tapped her daughter’s notebook.

“Eh, it’s not much. I just have to make a chart figuring out my blood type.” She flipped the notebook paper back to where she had been and showed her mom the chart she had started during school. On the left side had listed the mother’s potential blood type. Along the top had listed the child’s potential blood type. In the chart, had listed what the father’s blood type could be. “I know your blood type is O,” she pointed to the bottom line. “So if you give me my blood type…”

Rachel froze looking at the chart. On the right hand side, it said _‘father’s blood type must be’_. She zeroed in on the word father. Everything else blanked but that one word. She could feel her breath start to quicken and she clenched her hand. Her fingernails dug in to her palm. She didn’t want to think of McKenzie’s father. It was a title he didn’t deserve. 

“Mom?” McKenzie asked. She stared at her mother waiting for her to answer the question she just asked. It was like her mother couldn’t hear her. “Mom?” She called again, starting to get worried. “Are you okay?” She reached up and touched her shoulder. “Mom?” 

Rachel jumped at the touch. Her wide eyes met McKenzie’s. Her daughter’s own questioning gaze looked back. “I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.” She quickly stood up from the chair and strode from the room.

“What about dinner?” McKenzie called, but it was useless. Her mother kept on walking from the room. She stood up from the table and walked to the stove, giving all the pans a stir. She turned the burners down and sat back down at the table. When after fifteen minutes her mother still hadn’t reappeared, she put her pencil down and went to find her. The bedroom door was closed, and she raised her hand, knocking on it. “Mom? Are you okay? Dinner’s still on the stove?”

“Turn the burners off. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Are you okay?” McKenzie called through the door.

“I’m okay.”

McKenzie stood at her mother’s closed door for another moment or two before turning to walk slowly back downstairs and in to the kitchen. She turned the burners off and began to clear her things from the table. When her mother walked back in to the kitchen, she could tell she had been crying. “Mom…”

“Sorry about that, kiddo,” Rachel pulled her daughter into a hug, squeezing her tightly. 

“Are you okay?” McKenzie asked softly.

“Yeah,” Rachel let her go, and sent her daughter a smile. “Come on, let’s eat. Set the table.”

McKenzie did what she was told, but she couldn’t stop sending her mother looks. She was worried about her. She had never seen something effect her mother like that; to send her running from the run and to cry. She wasn’t even sure what caused the reaction. All she did was show her mom the chart on the paper… McKenzie froze with her hand still in the utensil drawer. The chart on the page had listed what the father’s blood type would be. Her mother must have known where she was going with the blood type after asking what blood type she was.

Dinner was a silent affair. McKenzie was still trying to work through her mother’s episode just seeing the word father. She wondered why her father would elicit such a reaction. It was not the type of reaction she expected from her mother about JC. JC had always garnered the opposite reaction. It was weird.

When she went to her room that night, it was still on her mind. She couldn’t finish her homework until she knew her blood type. She didn’t think there was a way she could ask her mother for her blood type. She didn’t know what else to do. Picking up her phone, she sent a text to her uncle. _I have a question.’_

It was a few minutes before he responded. _‘What’s up?’_

McKenzie stared at the screen wondering what she wanted to say. _‘Do you know my blood type?’_ She decided to keep it simple. If Lance knew, he would tell her and that would that. She wouldn’t have to explain why she was asking him instead of her mom.

_‘Ask your mom silly’_

McKenzie sighed at her uncle’s reply. She was afraid he would said that. ‘I did.’ She sent the text immediately followed by another one. _‘She wigged out. She had to leave the room. She was crying in her room.’_ After she sent the text, she had another thought and typed it out to her uncle. _‘Why would seeing the word father make her freak out? I’m just doing blood type for science class. Finding out the father’s blood type from the mother’s and child’s blood type. Finding out the child’s blood type knowing both parents’._

McKenzie sighed when Lance didn’t answer her back. She sat her phone down and walked from her room. The kitchen light was still on, casting a glow in the downstairs, but it was empty. Her mom had gone to her room after cleaning up after dinner. Kenzi walked into the den and turned on the lamp. The room wasn’t used often. From what Kenzi understood, it was supposed to be a formal dining room. They never had formal meals though. They ate at the kitchen table, even when they had guests. One wall held a shelving unit from floor to ceiling. Her mother had it decorated with books, knick knacks, photographs and other décor. The center of the unit didn’t hold a TV like most, instead her mom had a record player. On the shelves below the record player, held a number records her mother had acquired over the years. Most of which she had no idea who they were. 

On one of the shelves, was her baby picture. Next to it was her baby book. She took it off the shelf and sunk down on the couch. It had been awhile since she leafed through the pages, but she was sure she remembered her blood type written on one of the pages. The first pages talked about the pregnancy. There was a page with information about her mom. The page that was supposed to hold information about her father was blank. Another page held her family tree. It was the same as before. Her mom’s side was filled out. Her father’s was blank. Another page talked about a baby shower. She chuckle at the photographs of her mother, her stomach round with her inside. Rachel looked so young in the photos. She found the pages that described labor and delivery. Gramma was present in the delivery room when she was born. On that page with her birth information about what time she was born and what her height and weight was, was the line asking about the blood type. 

Type O.

McKenzie sighed. It was the same blood type as her mom. She knew what that meant. She had the blood types memorized. With her being type O and her mother type O as well, that meant her father had either type A, B, or O. She pushed up from the couch and put the baby book back on the shelf before making her way back to her room. Sitting back on her bed, she grabbed her notebook and finished her science homework with the new information.

Lance still hadn’t texted her back. She wondered why he was ignoring her, but she pulled up her Facebook and opened her messages. Tapping JC’s name, she stared at the screen. Her mouth twisted in thought, wondering how she could just ask him for his blood type without rousing suspicious. Taking a deep breath, she started to type. _'Hey, I’m doing this thing for science class. Polling people on their blood type. Would you be willing to participate?’_

She saw dots appear on the screen and held her breath. He was replying!

 _‘That depends.’_ Came the reply.

McKenzie was in the middle of typing out a reply, when another message came through.

_‘You don’t actually need my blood do you?’_

McKenzie laughed and rolled her eyes. _‘No. You can keep all your blood. I just need to know the type?’_

_‘Whew! I try to stay as far away from needles as possible. It’s type O.’_

McKenzie’s eyes widened seeing the message. JC had the same type as her! Everything was beginning to fall in to place. The only anomaly so far was her mother’s reaction. If JC was indeed her father, then the reaction didn’t make any sense.

*~*~*

The ringing of her cell phone, brought Rachel out of the state she had been in. She’d been hiding in her room since dinner, hating herself for not being able to pull herself together. The questions she could read in her daughter’s eyes through dinner had been hard. She couldn’t answer them though. Picking up her phone from where it lay next to her on the bed, she saw Lance’s name.

“Hello?”

“What’s wrong?” Lance said immediately. 

Rachel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“McKenzie sent me a message asking if I knew her blood type and said you wigged out and were crying. What’s going on?”

Rachel sighed. “Nothing’s going on. She shouldn’t have bothered you.”

It was Lance’s turn to sigh. “Rachel, don’t give me that. What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“I just had a minor panic attack. I’m fine now or will be,” Rachel tried brushing off her brother’s worries. 

The line was silent for too long before Lance finally said, “You know you can’t lie to me.”

“Lance…”

“I’m not going to make you talk. I know you won’t,” he cut her off. “But Rachel, she’s thirteen. You know she’s going to have questions about who she is and where she came from.”

“She came from me,” Rachel snapped. The line fell silent again and Rachel closed her eyes. Embarrassment ran across her face. It wasn’t Lance’s fault she was in this position. “I’m sorry Lance.”

“I know you don’t like to talk about it,” Lance said softly. “I wish you would though. You know you can tell me anything.”

Rachel sighed, feeling her eyes fill with tears. She so badly wanted to talk about what happened. She wasn’t sure she was strong enough to. She wasn’t sure she was strong enough to handle the reactions of her family members, her friends, McKenzie… “I know Lance. But I can’t…” She heard his sigh over the phone.

“What are you going to do when McKenzie comes to you and asks you who her father is? If she asks his name? Where he lives?”

It was one of Rachel’s worst nightmares come true. The questions about McKenzie’s father had been prevalent when she first revealed she was pregnant. The paternity questions about her baby also sent her in to crying jags. Her family had learned to stop asking. It was always in the back of her mind, that eventually her child would want to know about her father. A dream of hers had been to be married to a man who accepted McKenzie as his own, who filled the role of father so well that McKenzie wouldn’t even care about whose DNA she carried. That hadn’t come to fruition. Every piece of documentation that held a spot for father had been left blank on everything that had to do with McKenzie. The birth certificate held her name. The father was listed as unknown. Every school information paper had been filled out with her information, while the father’s information had been empty. There were empty pages in her baby book that dealt with the father. 

She didn’t know how she was going to face the questions once McKenzie got brave enough to ask. Tonight, all her daughter asked for was her blood type. That was enough to send her in a tailspin. It hadn’t even been information about who her father was. She had seen the chart though. With her blood type and McKenzie’s blood type, her daughter would be able to figure out what her father’s blood type had the possibility of being. Rachel didn’t want to know that information, but now she did. One look at the chart, she had seen the possibilities: A, B, or O.

“Are you okay?” Lance asked softly.

“I don’t know what to do Lance,” Rachel replied just as softly. She sniffed and wiped away the tears.

“Let me help you, Rach.”

“There’s nothing you can do.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey Mom,” Rachel said when her mother answered the phone. “How are you?”

“I’m doing good.” Diane Bass replied. “How is everything in California? How’s Kenzi?’

“Everything is good, real good. I’m finishing up the illustrations for the next book. Have to go over them with Mel to make sure everything is good. Then she’ll get it send off to the publisher.”

“That’s great news! When’s the next book due out?”

“If there are no issues, I think August,” Rachel furrowed her brow in thought. She was certain that was the month Melissa had told her the next installment was due to hit the shelves. “Mel’s already working on the next one.”

“I don’t know how she finds the time to write all these books,” Diane said, shaking her head slightly. “Especially with two year old running around.”

“I think she lives on caffeine,” Rachel laughed. “I wouldn’t be surprised to walk in to her house one day to find her taking it intravenously.” 

Diane laughed. “I remember those days when you and Lance were babies. Stacy was four at the time. I don’t know how I would have managed if she was any younger.”

“Oh come on Mom, you’re a super hero. Besides, if we got to be too much, we could have always sold Lance.” She chuckled listening to her mother laugh over the speaker. If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine sitting at the kitchen table of the house she grew up in, a glass of sweet iced tea in front of her. Her mother next to her. She would be flipping through the local paper reading the news about people she grew up with while her mother filled her in on the local gossip. She missed Mississippi.

“Mrs. Turner still brings up the want ad you gave her to place in the newspaper for Lance.”

“If only she had just placed the ad instead of calling you, he would have gone to some other family,” she chuckled at the memory.

“You would have missed him.” Diane said knowingly.

“No I wouldn’t. Well…maybe just a little.”

“Maybe just a lot.”

“Yeah. Don’t tell him though.”

Diane laughed, “Of course not. How’s Kenzi doing?” She heard her daughter sigh over the phone and frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know what to do, Mom.”

“Tell me Sweetie. Trust me, there isn’t a problem out there that I can’t help with. I think I’ve seen it all with you, Lance, and Stacy.”

“I think McKenzie is starting to wonder about her father and I don’t know what to do.”

Diane fell silent. It wasn’t what she was expecting her daughter to say. She assumed McKenzie was going through a typical teenage stage and her problem would be of the teenage nature. She had been wrong about one thing. This was something she hadn’t seen with her kids. The topic of her granddaughter’s paternity was a sore subject. When her youngest daughter came to her with the news, she was shocked. She never expected any of her kids to become pregnant out of wedlock. It was probably the most disappointed she had ever been in one of her children before. Looking back, she hadn’t reacted to the news well. She had a lot of growing to do as a person even with having three kids in their twenties at the time. 

Rachel had needed her. So she did what any good mother would do. She stepped up and took care of her daughter. It hadn’t been easy. Sometimes her daughter would be so distraught with the pregnancy, she’d cry for days. Diane told her husband, it had been hormones. She hadn’t been so sure that was the case. Maybe partially, but she knew there was something else. Something that had been bothering her daughter. No matter what she tried, Rachel never spoke about who was the father of her child. 

There were many nights, behind closed doors, where she had discussions with her husband, Jim, about it. Jim was ready to drag his daughter down the aisle to marry the person who got her pregnant. They had no suspects except for the four men she spent all of her time with. Diane didn’t want to believe that one of them would have gotten her pregnant and not stood by her. She spent a lot of time with her son’s bandmates. She had to accompany Lance to Europe since he was a minor. During that time she got to know them all. She grew to love them like sons. She thought they were typical young adults. Some of their antics she could only shake her head at. 

Jim had been angry. There had been times when he wasn’t able to hide his anger from Rachel. Those were rough times; trying to play referee between her husband and daughter. Her daughter needed her, but Jim was her husband. During a particular nasty fight, Jim had tried to kick Rachel out. Diane could still remember the devastated look Rachel sent them; the tears rolling down her face, her stomach round with their grandchild. She could still hear the small child-like voice, broken with tears, saying, ‘I don’t have anywhere else to go’. 

It had been that moment when everything washed away from her. Her daughter was pregnant. Her daughter was going to have her granddaughter. They needed her. She immediately went to her daughter and gathered her up in her arms. She held her through the tears – both hers and Rachel’s. Drying her daughter’s tears, she told her youngest that she wasn’t going anywhere. She could stay as long as she like. The house would always be her home. It had taken her husband a couple days longer to come around. She happened upon them on the back porch one night. Her husband had pulled Rachel into a hug. She didn’t interrupt the moment and never asked what had happened. She was just happy everything was working out.

“Mom? Are you still there?”

Diane shook her head, bringing herself out of the past and to there here and now. “Sorry Sweetie. What makes you think Kenzi’s wondering about her father?”

“I saw her science notebook last night. She had made a chart about blood types. It was one where you figure out the father’s blood type by knowing what the mother’s is and the child’s. She was asking what mine was and what hers was. She said it was homework…”

“What is? Is that what they are talking about in class? Blood types?” Diane questioned, trying to gather more information from her daughter.

“Yeah,” Rachel sighed. “She told me they were talking genetics and DNA and blood types. She’s trying to pull me to a blood drive the school is having on Saturday since she found out that my blood is always in need.”

“You should go and donate,” Diane told her daughter. “Bring some good karma.”

Rachel snorted. “I could always use that.”

“I think you might be reading too much in to a simple question for homework,” Diane said. “It doesn’t sound like she’s asking about her father.”

“But what if she does?” 

Diane’s heart broke for her daughter. She wished Rachel would just talk to her. She wished Rachel would open up and tell her everything she is keeping bottled up regarding to McKenzie’s paternity. She didn’t understand the secrecy. Diane knew it was bothering her daughter. It hung over her never allowing her to truly be happy. As far as Diane knew, Rachel had never discussed McKenzie’s father with anyone.

“Well Sweetie, you’re gonna have to prepare yourself for when that time comes. You’ve been lucky so far, but one of these days McKenzie’s going to ask you about her father and you’re going to have to tell her. She has the right to know who he is. You’re going to have to be honest and truthful with her.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Rachel spoke softly.

“I wish you would talk me,” Diane’s heart broke hearing sniffles on the phone. “If you don’t want to talk to me, talk to Lance or Stacy… Trust me Rachel, you have a lot of people who will stand in line to lend you their ear.”

“I can’t…” 

Diane bit back a sigh. She’d been hoping to get lucky, that her daughter would just spill everything she’d been holding inside. “You know I’m here when you do want to talk.”

“I know Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too Sweetie.”

“What are you and Daddy doing in a couple weeks?”

Diane wasn’t surprised by the change of topics. She was used to the fast switches whenever McKenzie’s paternity came up. “We don’t have anything scheduled. Is this about the trip Leighton was talking about? Let me tell you, you had Stacy so mad.”

“Oh trust me, I know she was mad. I barely had hello out of my mouth before she was tearing in to me. Kenzi just had an idea and ran with it before I could even stop her.”

“If you’re thinking of a trip, you know your father and I are down with going anywhere. You know we wouldn’t turn down a chance to spend time with you and Kenzi. I don’t think Stacy’s going to be able to get away on such short notice.”

“I figured as much.” Stacy had her own bake shop in Jackson. She did incredible cakes. She couldn’t believe how great the designs turned out. It didn’t matter what idea people brought into her place, she’d do it. “I was thinking we’ll just come to Mississippi for the week to visit. I talked to Lance and Michael and they’re coming too.”

“Oh that sounds wonderful.” Diane smiled at the thought of having all her kids back home for a week. “I’ll have to get the house ready.”

“Like the house isn’t ready right now.”

“Hush you,” Diane said, her mind already thinking what she needed to do around the house. The bedrooms needed straightening and a good dusting. She’ll have to strip the beds so the bedding is fresh and run the vacuum. She needed to make a grocery list and stock up on food to feed the four extra mouths that would be staying with them, plus items for a family dinner with Stacy and her family.

“I can practically see the gears turning in your head Mom.” Her daughter giggled over the phone. “It’s a good thing we just didn’t drop in as a surprise.”

“This is great. I can’t wait to see you guys. How’d you talk Lance in to coming home for a week?”

“I played the uncle card,” Rachel explained. “I just told him how sad Kenzi was and how much she missed you guys back home and how she wanted everyone together. He caved in seconds.”

Diane chuckled. “I’ll have to remember that.”

“Can you let Stacy know? I’d call her, but she’s still mad at me.”

Diane laughed even as she agreed to call her oldest. “I think the kids are on spring break that week too. That will be wonderful. We’ll have to think of some things to do for the week.”

“I’ll let you start planning. Once we have everything situated over here, I’ll let you know when we’re flying in. We’ll probably just rent a car, so you don’t have to bother picking us up from the airport. Be crowded with the four of us.”

“Okay. I love you.” Diane exchanged goodbyes with her daughter and ended the call. Nothing could take the smile off her face. Her babies were coming home!

*~*~*~*

“What…Briahna…” McKenzie said as Briahna grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall to her locker. “Where you waiting by the door for me?”

“Yes,” Briahna said coming to a stop next to McKenzie’s locker. 

“What’s going on?” Kenzi asked, putting in the combination and pulling her locker open. She started emptying out her book bag with the books she had taken home the previous night for homework. She hung the book bag on the hook. Looking at the watch on her wrist, she still had time before the morning warning bell would ring.

“You’ll never guess what I found last night.” Briahna grinned. She reached in McKenzie’s locker and pulled a book out from the top shelf.

“Were you in my locker?” Kenzi asked, noticing the book was not hers.

“This morning. I was waiting here for you, but you were taking forever.”

“I know, blame my mom,” Kenzi rolled her eyes. “She’s been talking to someone on her phone a lot. Like all the time. Seriously. And she yells at me for being on my phone a lot.”

“Look!” Briahna opened the front cover of her history book where she had stuck the photos.

“What are these?” McKenzie asked reaching for the photos. She gasped seeing old photos of her mom and JC. They didn’t look very old in the photos. “Where’d you find these?”

“Well you said your mom had boxes in the attic filled with old NSYNC stuff, I thought maybe mine did as well,” Briahna grinned. “You should see our attic. Holy crap there is so much junk up there! I don’t think there wasn’t an item Dad didn’t put his face on with the group.”

McKenzie stared at the old photos. Her mother was dressed in a dark blue gown. Her hair was gathered at the top of her head in some hairdo she couldn’t decipher. JC was dressed in a black suit that looked like it was too big for him. They were facing each other. Their front hands clasping each other. Rachel wore flowers on her wrist. “This looks like a prom photo. Like a school dance or something.”

“I know!” Briahna bounced, a huge grin on her face. 

“That doesn’t make sense though…” McKenzie stared at the photos. In another photo it was a group shot of her mom, her Uncle Lance, JC, Briahna’s parents, Justin, and Chris. She didn’t recognize the girls standing with Justin, Chris, or Lance. “They didn’t even go to school at the same time or even the same state. How would they have a prom photo?”

Briahna shrugged. “I don’t know, but look at your mom and JC! They obviously went together!” She pulled a photo from McKenzie’s hand and placed it on top. “See.” The photo showed Rachel and JC dancing with each other on the dance floor. “They’d get kicked out of our school dances for dancing that close. Think you can ask your mom what the photo is?”

“I don’t know… I told you what happened when she I was trying to figure out blood type.” McKenzie stared at the photos while she tried to think of a way to find out the backstory to the photos. “I might be able to ask Uncle Lance… we’re going to his house on Saturday after the blood drive. If I bring a bunch of old photos and put one of these in with them. He’ll tell me.”

“Take the group shot,” Briahna said, pulling that one out of McKenzie’s hands. “It will look less suspicious if it’s one of everyone.”

“Good idea!” McKenzie grinned at her best friend. The warning bell sounded and she quickly started grabbing the books she needed for the next couple of classes. Briahna took off to her locker with a wave. They’d see each other in third period for math. She looked at the photo of her mother and JC one more time. With a smile on her face she closed her locker and took off down the hall toward homeroom.


	8. Chapter 8

_‘What are you up to today?’_

_‘I let Kenzi talk me in to helping out with her school’s blood drive.’_ Rachel smiled as she typed out her response to JC’s question. Ever since they had lunch together the other day, they had been messaging each other frequently. _‘And by helping, I mean offering up a pint of my blood.’_ She laughed when JC sent her an emoji that had its eyes wide. _‘You could always come and join us.’_ She sent an emoji with its tongue sticking out, knowing JC’s fear of needles.

_‘I like to keep my blood in my body thanks.’_

_‘Same here, but Kenzi found out that I apparently have the rarest blood type. She’s already earmarked the date when I can donate again.’_

_‘As long as she leaves enough for you.’_

_‘My daughter’s pimping me out to all the draculas she can find. She might as well put a sign in the yard that says, ‘Tasty O neg blood here!’_ She put a bat emoji after the text and sent it. She tried to get out of the blood drive, but she didn’t have a reason that was good enough as to why she couldn’t donate.

_‘That is completely disturbing.’_

_‘I’m gonna have to start sleeping with one eye open.’_

_‘I wonder if asking my blood type was a ploy to get me to come and donate.’_

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows at JC’s message. _‘Who asked you for your blood type? Kenzi?’_

_‘Yeah. The other night. She said she was graphing it for some type of science homework.’_

_‘That’s strange.’_ Rachel sent to him. She didn’t see her homework involved any graphing of blood types. What she saw had to deal with paternity related stuff. Honestly, she hadn’t looked over McKenzie’s homework, so there may have very well have been more to the homework and polling people of their blood type. Kenzi could have gotten the information via text or messenger; she’d have been none the wiser. _‘It could have very well been a ploy though. Why don’t you come and donate?’_

_‘And embarrass myself by becoming hysterical and probably fainting? I don’t think so.’_

Rachel grinned at the reply. _‘I’ll hold your hand.’_

 _‘That may be worth it.’_ The message was sent with a winking emoji.

Rachel blushed seeing JC’s reply. There had been no shortage of flirting in their messages, from either side. Each time JC flirted, she blushed so hard she was sure her face was red as a tomato. It happened every time she sent a flirty message to him. Her face would flush with embarrassment. The messages were nothing too risqué. It was all light and fun. A lot of teasing that made her sigh and wish.

 _‘After, we’re heading to Lance’s to hang out. Eat his food. Take advantage of his pool. Joey, Mel, and the kids are coming too. You should join us.’_ She held her breath at the invitation. She knew Lance wouldn’t mind JC stopping in. She wasn’t sure if she could take the looks that he and Melissa would send her though. Lance didn’t even know she was talking to JC. 

_‘Sounds like fun. What time?’_

The smile was permanently etched on Rachel’s face. She quickly sent him the time she was planning on being at her brother’s and then sent him the address to Lance’s new place. _‘Can’t wait to see you.’_

_‘Same here.’_

“Mom! Are you ready to go?” McKenzie called up the stairs before she ran up them.

“Jeesh it’s like a herd of elephants,” Rachel said when Kenzi came in to her room. “You sure there was only one of you coming up the steps.”

McKenzie rolled her eyes. “What’s taking you so long? I told Briahna we’d be there at 11. We need to get a move on.” She eyed the phone in her hand. “Who are you talking to all the time?”

“A friend,” Rachel replied. She grabbed the tote off her bed. It held a bathing suit to change in to, a cover up, sunscreen, hair ties, and other odds and ends. Most of the items in the bag were a permanent fixture. Anytime they went to the pool or the beach, she grabbed the bag. All she had to do was stuff a towel and whatever bathing suit she wanted to wear inside. “You ready to go?”

“Just waiting on you,” McKenzie replied with another eye roll. “I’ve been ready forever.”

“You keep rolling your eyes like that, they are gonna get stuck in the back of your eye sockets,” Rachel turned her daughter around and herded her toward the door. “Then what are you gonna do?”

“Look at how big my brain is.” 

Rachel laughed as she stopped by the counter to grab her purse. She double checked to make sure she had everything she needed. When she turned around she saw McKenzie shouldering a bag. “What’s in there?” McKenzie was already wearing her bathing suit; Rachel could see it tied around her neck. Towels were already at Lance’s.

“Old photos I wanna show Uncle Lance,” Kenzi replied. She tried to keep her face neutral hoping her mother wouldn’t suspect anything.

“Why do you want to show Lance old photos?” Rachel asked as they made their way outside to her vehicle.

“Because they are funny. Briahna’s bringing some she found too. We think they’re funny. Uncle Lance and Joey look like dorks.”

Rachel laughed as she put her seat belt on. “You two better be careful. Lance and Joey have a lot of photos of the two of you looking awfully dorky.”

“I bet there are way more dorky photos of Uncle Lance and Joey than there are of me and Briahna.”

“I am not taking that bet.” Rachel backed out of the driveway and onto the street. “I know there are a lot of funny photos out there of them. The best ones of your Uncle Lance are from Aunt Stacy’s wedding.”

“How mad was Aunt Stacy?” Kenzi asked as she sent Briahna a message stating that they were finally on their way.

“Oh Sweetie, there isn’t a word to describe how livid she was,” Rachel laughed at the memory. Lance had bleached his hair so blonde that it was nearly white. She couldn’t even remember why, but it was right before Stacy and Ford’s wedding. Lance had shown up with the hair job and Stacy had hit the roof. The wedding photos still made her laugh.

“Maybe she should get back at him by dying her hair some funky color for his wedding.” Kenzi couldn’t wait for December. Lance and Michael were finally getting married. She was so excited to officially have another uncle. She thought Michael was the greatest. “I should tell her. Maybe as a joke, she could show up with a wig that’s bright purple hair.”

Rachel laughed at the thought. “You know. I bet Lance would probably get a kick out of it and make her wear it the entire time.”

“We all could show up with our hair bleached.”

“Now that sounds like a good idea.”

*~*~*~*

JC pulled up the curb in front of Lance’s house and put his car in park. The road in front of Lance’s house was empty, telling him that Rachel and The Fatones had yet to arrive. He checked the clock on the dash and saw that it was after three. Spring break season had started, which meant there was a lot more traffic than usual. It had taken him a long time to get to this area than it should have been. Traffic had probably derailed Rachel's travel time as well. 

He hadn’t been to Lance’s new house but knew that he had moved from the place he’d been renting in Burbank. In the group chat he had with Lance, Joey, Chris, and Justin, Lance told them what a nightmare the contractors were. The house was supposed to be finished, but there was still work being done. He wondered if the work was completed since he was having people over, or if they were partying around the mess.

Getting out of his vehicle, he jogged up the brick steps that led to the gate in front of Lance’s house. Rachel told him the gate would be unlocked which is opened when he turned the handle. At the front door, he rang the doorbell. 

“Hey man!” Lance said with a smile seeing JC on the other side of the door when he opened it. “What are you doing here?” He pulled JC into a one armed hug before stepping aside and allowing him to enter.

“I heard you had free food man,” JC grinned following Lance into the house. “I take it the construction is all done?”

Lance groaned. “Yes. Finally. We can actually eat in our own kitchen again. Let me tell you C, it was such a shit show. Last week in the middle of the radio show, they cut the power to the house. The whole show just goes dark.”

“You’re kidding?” JC laughed. 

“Man, we were scrambling trying to figure out what happened. I about lost my mind on the workers here.” Lance shook his head. “I told them before they even started working that I had a radio show between three and five and they just…” he groaned again and shook his head. “But everything is finally done. They are gone. I have a working kitchen. We aren’t tripping over cords. Don’t have boxes piled everywhere. No sheen of dust coating everything.”

“I’m surprised you even stayed here while they were working.” JC knew he wouldn’t have been able to stay in a house that was under construction. He would have stayed with friends or a hotel until the work was finished.

“It wasn’t supposed to take as long as it did. Before we moved in they were ahead of schedule. It’s why we moved in. They only had a couple weeks of work left.” Lance shook his head. “When we moved in and the work just stopped. Hell, they didn’t even show up half the time. So, what are you doing here? How’d you hear about free food?”

“Rachel invited me. It was either give blood or come here. That wasn’t a difficult decision to make.”

Lance stared at JC, searching. For what he didn’t know. Rachel inviting him had been the last thing he expected. As far as he knew, his sister hadn’t seen his bandmate in years. She didn’t even have a lot to say about him when he brought up the photo McKenzie had posted. That should have been a clue. Normally if he mentioned one of the guys, Rachel would ask how they were. This time she didn’t.

“What?” JC asked, beginning to feel twitchy under Lance’s stare. “I can always go if you don’t want me here?”

“Right,” Lance rolled his eyes, laughing. “So Rachel invited you…” he crossed his arms and grinned at JC. “What did that happen?”

“About 11 this morning.” 

“Out of the blue she said, _‘hey, let’s go get stuck with needles and then eat Lance’s food’_?”

“It didn’t quite go like that. I did turn down getting stuck with needles.” He gave an involuntary shiver that cause Lance to chuckle.

“Of course you did, you pussy.” Lance moved into the kitchen. “You want a drink?” 

“Sure,” JC followed him, eyeballing the bottles of liquor on the counter. “You do know they won’t be able to drink right?”

“You ever see Joey turn down alcohol?” Lance laughed. “Besides, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen my sister smashed. It never takes much, but now it will take even less. Did I ever tell you about the time I had to carry her out of this nightclub in Miami?”

JC’s eyes widened in shock. “No way.”

“Oh yeah,” Lance started laughing as he remembered the details. “It was about five or so years ago. I had something in Miami. Rachel needed to get away you know, so she left Kenzi with our parents and we went to Miami—“ he was cut off when he heard the front door open. Loud voices followed. 

“I am never riding with you again!”

“Did you die?” Rachel laughed.

“Did you really have to kiss the road Mom?” Briahna laughed.

“Yes!” Melissa shrieked. It was the first thing she did when Rachel parked her vehicle on the curb outside of Lance’s house. She got out and kissed the ground, thankful to be alive. “My God, I thought I wouldn’t make it here alive. What the fuck Rach? I didn’t think it was possible for you to get worse at driving.”

“You’re looking a little sick Bambina,” Joey laughed as he sat Caleb down on the ground. His son immediately started laughing as Dingo and Foster licked his face. “Maybe they took more blood than they needed.”

“I felt fine until I decided to ride with Rachel and her lead foot. I need to go back outside and wait for my stomach to catch up. I think it’s still on the 405.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “You’re such a drama queen.”

“You put your vehicle into holes that weren’t even there! I was updating my will on the way!”

“Bullshit,” Rachel laughed. “You didn’t let go of the ‘oh shit’ handle long enough to type anything out on your phone.”

“I was praying to every God I could think of…”

“With that dirty mouth, no God will let you even step foot in to any afterlife.”

“I bet that dirty mouth could make any God change his mind,” Joey grinned.

“Oh gross,” McKenzie and Briahna exclaimed. “You think we don’t get those sex jokes.” Briahna added.

“Face it kid,” Joey grinned at his daughter. “You are one of our little sex jokes.”

Briahna twisted her face in a disgusted grimace. “That’s gross Dad.”

“I take it my sister’s driving hasn’t gotten any better?” 

“Just fitting in with the other LA drivers,” Rachel grinned and hugged her brother.

“Rachel, the other LA drivers were getting off the road and out of your way.” Melissa dropped the bags she had brought. There were changes of clothes for everyone, plus more for Caleb and Kloey in case of an emergency. She also packed floaties and toys for the pool. With three kids, she could never just go anywhere with the clothes on their backs. She had to be prepared for anything. Anything usually happened.

“I would have let you drive Mel,” Rachel turned away from Lance to face her best friend. “But I wanted to actually make it to Lance’s sometime today.”

“You saying I drive slow?” Melissa narrowed her eyes.

“A sloth moves faster than you.” 

Joey broke out into laughter. When Melissa glared at him, he tried to suppress it but it was too late. “Bambina, Priuses pass you. Grandmas pass you.”

“Grandmas driving Priuses.” Briahna supplied with a giggle.

“Ah fuck off, all of you,” Melissa said. “I need a drink.”

“The lady said you can’t drink,” McKenzie supplied when the adults started moving toward the kitchen.

Melissa muttered under her breath. “No alcohol my ass.” After that ride with her best friend, she needed a drink – a stiff one. She turned the corner in the kitchen and stopped in surprised. She stared wide eyed at the man before her.

“Owe, what the fuck Mel,” Rachel stated when she ran in to her friend. 

“JC?” Melissa said in surprised. 

“What?” Rachel raised her eyes and spotted him leaning against Lance’s counter. His legs were crossed at the ankle, one palm on the counter supporting his weight while the other hand held a drink. “Hey! You made it!”

 _‘You made it?’_ Melissa mouthed looking at Joey, then at Lance. 

“Rachel invited him.” Lance shrugged, a grin on his lips.

“Rachel invited him,” Melissa repeated stupidly. She watched as Rachel ducked out from behind her and walked across the room to give JC a hug. She raised her eyes brows at Joey and Lance. They weren’t looking at her, they were staring at Rachel and JC.

Briahna elbowed McKenzie, motioning her to look. She couldn’t keep the look off her face. She could barely keep from squealing as she watched Rachel hug JC.

McKenzie grinned broadly at the scene in front of her. She wondered if the look her mom had told Melissa had nearly melted her to a puddle on the sidewalk, was the one JC was currently sending her when they broke the hug. When her eyes met Briahna’s, she couldn’t stop the giggle that broke free. 

“Well, he wouldn’t come and get stuck with us,” Rachel said, turning around to look at everyone still gathered in the doorway to the kitchen. She felt the flush of embarrassment as they stared at her.

“Such a pussy C,” Joey said with a grin, finally moving around everyone and in to the kitchen. He hugged his friend. “Good to see you.” It had been awhile since he had seen JC. 

“Speaking of pussy,” Rachel said, laughter bubbling up. Eyes immediately turned to her. “You wanna tell everyone who almost ate carpet after giving blood.”

Melissa snorted and started laughing. She heard Lance’s deep laughter in her ear and she reached out to cover Kloey’s ears. Joey was nearly bent over laughing. 

“What is going on?” Michael asked coming in to the kitchen. He’d been out by the pool in the lounger waiting for everyone to arrive. He heard vehicles pull up and all the ruckus. He expected everyone to head outside. When no one did, he went to find them.

“Rachel was just telling us who ate carpet at the blood drive,” Lance said over the laughter. His sister’s face was beet red. Joey had one hip leaning against the counter wiping the tears from his eyes.

“What kind of blood drive was this?” Michael asked wide eyed. 

“She must have had a better time than the rest of us,” Joey laughed, wiggling his eyebrows at Rachel. “God C, you remember when we first met her and a cuss word would make her blush like this? Oh man, Chris and I used to keep a running score of who said the most cuss words around her. Now she’s talking about eating carpet.”

“I never stood a chance hanging out with the likes of you.” 

“What do you mean the likes of you? We were legendary. Taught you things you would have never learned anywhere else.”

“Probably why Momma always prayed so hard before she went to bed every night,” Rachel teased him.

“No amount of praying will help him,” JC laughed. He shifted against the counter. He switched his drink to the opposite hand, and used his other to lean on the counter. The small movement put him closer to Rachel. 

“Mel prays every night for me too,” Joey smirked. “Oh God… Oh God…”

“This is so gross,” Briahna rolled her eyes. “I thought it couldn’t get any worse than the blood drive.”

“What happened at the blood drive?” Lance asked coming in to the kitchen. He started making drinks for everyone. While he was making drinks, Michael started taking the snacks out of the fridge. They had cut up a lot of fruit and veggies. They also had cheese ball on a platter. It just needed the crackers placed around it. There was potato salad and macaroni salad and pasta salad. Plus chips and pretzels. 

“Can we have a drink, Uncle Lance?” McKenzie asked. She felt shy all of a sudden seeing JC in her uncle’s kitchen. It was easier to talk to him behind a screen than face to face. 

“Sure.” Lance said and nodded toward the fridge. “Everything’s in there.”

“Drink!” Caleb shouted. 

“Hold on,” Melissa said and walked out of the room. She returned a second later with a sippy cup for her son, already filled with juice.

“So what happened at the blood drive?” Michael asked.

“Dad wouldn’t stop telling jokes,” Briahna rolled her eyes. “It was so embarrassing.”

“I live to embarrass you,” Joey grinned pulling his oldest too him and ruffling her hair.

“When the lady asked Dad what his blood type was, he said red,” Briahna said rolling her eyes. “The whole place just groaned.” 

“Oh yeah,” McKenzie rolled her eyes shutting the door to the fridge after she grabbed a can of Pepsi. “Then when Mom said she was O negative, Joey was like ‘why must you be so negative’?”

“Hey,” Joey said amidst the groans. “I’m a dad. These are the jokes I’m allowed to do now.”

“They’re awful,” Michael said.

“They’re supposed to be.”

“Dad jokes to go with the dad bod,” JC laughed as he poked him in the stomach with his pinky.

“I have had no complaints about my dad bod,” Joey slapped JC’s hand, nearly spilling JC’s drink on the floor. “Women like a little something to hold on to. Unlike your skinny ass. Probably need to tether your ass to the ground in a hurricane.”

Lance laughed as he handed Joey a drink. He turned to start making his sister and Melissa a drink. “Joey, you have more than a little something.” 

“Plenty to go around.” Joey grinned.

“The lady who took your blood certainly wanted her share.” Melissa made a face.

“Eh, she wasn’t my type,” Joey laughed as everyone groaned.


	9. Chapter 9

“So?”

“So what?” Rachel asked from her pool lounger. She was laid back, relaxing against the bright neon green floaty, allowing the water in the pool to take her where ever. She tried to stay at the deeper end letting the kids play at the shallower end. Right now only Kloey and Caleb were in the pool. Briahna and McKenzie were sitting on the two wooden swings that Lance had set up on the trellises that lined one side of the patio. They were giggling often and she could only imagine what they were talking about. Melissa lounged on her own floaty next to her. The men had gathered around a table, some sitting, some standing. Every so often she’d hear their raising voices and barks of laughter. She definitely did not want to know what they were talking about.

“Like you don’t know what I’m talking about,” Melissa rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses. The day was perfect. The sun was high in the sky, no clouds were in view. Just the beautiful blue sky. The temperatures were warm enough that a dip in the pool felt refreshing. It was a perfect April day. 

“I’m relaxing Mel.”

“Like you aren’t lying there letting your sunglasses hide the fact that you’re staring at JC.”

“I am not,” Rachel said, even as she blushed. She couldn’t help it. Her eyes were just drawn to the man. She’d look her fill and close her eyes, but then she’d hear his laugh and she’d start staring again. “Shut up,” she told Melissa, when she heard her start laughing.

“Is it gonna be like 1999 all over again?” Melissa asked when she stopped laughing. “You were fawning all over him, looking at him like he hung the moon.”

“No it’s not gonna be like that.”

“Right,” Melissa chuckled. “If I take those sunglasses off right now, you’ll have that same ‘hung the moon’ look in your eyes as you did then.”

“Shut up Mel.” It was the only thing Rachel could say because her friend was probably right.

“You should go over there and lay one on him. On the lips this time. Seriously, Rach. I don’t know what’s stopping you.”

“Lots of things,” Rachel said honestly.

“Like what?” Melissa turned her head toward her friend. From the angle she was in, she could see her friend had her eyes closed behind her sunglasses. “Tell me what’s stopping you from stopping this dance – for the love of God Rach – do not fall back in to that dance you two did. I won’t be able to go through that again. I’m too tired for that shit.”

“Thanks for being supportive.”

“I am being supportive. This is me being supportive. Look at me all supportive.” Melissa said. “You’re my best friend Rachel. You have been for almost twenty years now. I know how much you loved JC. I can see how much you still love him. It hurts my heart that you guys never took a chance, you just let each other pass you by like ships in the night. I wish I had done something a long time ago to make your feelings for him known, so he would have made a move. Just think,” she smiled at the thought. “We could be lounging here in Lance’s pool like we are right now, except there would be a lot more kids running around.”

Rachel couldn’t stop the smile from gracing her face at Melissa’s words. If it had been different back in 1999, if she had spoken up and told JC how she felt. She could be lounging in Lance’s pool as JC’s wife. Along with McKenzie, she could have had those three other kids she always imagined. A boy who would be tall and lanky, with a head full of brown curls and bright blue eyes just like his father. A little girl with JC’s youthful energy and those same giggles that could make anyone who was around her smile and laugh too. She could picture a toddler in his arms, with his head on JC’s shoulders sleeping after too much pool time and sun.

“Jesus, the look on your face,” Melissa said watching the emotions cross Rachel’s face. “Why do you deny yourself that? Everything that went through your mind right there, you can have that. It’s all within your reach Rach. You just have to grab it. Get out and pull him to a quiet spot in Lance’s house and tell him. No one will bother you, I will stand guard and not allow anyone to enter.”

It was tempting, but in the end she stayed where she was. “There’s just too many things…”

“What things?” Melissa said frustrated. “Tell me what’s stopping you.”

“I don’t know if he likes me like that.”

“Don’t know…” Melissa broke off with a curse. “Are you kidding me with this right now?” She pushed her sunglasses up to the top of her head and stared at her friend. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Rachel shrugged. “I don’t know. I just… I just don’t want to be rejected.”

“Rach…”

“Listen Mel, you know me. You know my feelings for JC. You know how much I love him. You know how many of my dreams centered around him. I had my life completely planned out. Him. Our kids. What if I would have pulled him aside and told him how I felt and he didn’t feel the same?” Rachel could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She wanted to hate her friend for bringing the topic up in front of everyone where there was no place for her to hide. It wasn’t Melissa’s fault. She was the one who had invited JC to come. Inviting JC had opened her up to questions, to looks, to smirks, to eyebrow wiggles. She was able to ignore them for the most part but Melissa cornered her in the pool. Only way to get away from the questions would be to fall off the float. “Even after…even after Kenzi, he was still my dream. I could still dream that maybe one day, you know. Even now. Here we are again, after all these years. I’m still dreaming the same dream. What if I finally tell him and he doesn’t feel the same way? I’ve dreamed this dream for so long… what if I finally know the answer and it’s not the one I wanted?”

Melissa’s heart hurt for her friend. She did know Rachel. She did know how long she had been dreaming the dream of being with JC. She hurt for the years her friend had spent alone because she’d rather keep dreaming of the possibility than knowing the answer. “Rach… I know. Believe me. I know what JC means to you. But you can’t do this to yourself. Maybe the past years have been easier for you when you didn’t have his number, when you didn’t talk. It’s different now. He’s here. You’re talking. You’re hanging out. He’s right here in front of you. It’s just like it was in the beginning. I hate seeing you do this to yourself.”

“Be so much easier if Lance had never joined NSYNC.”

“Blasphemer!” Melissa yelled causing the guys to look over at them. She raised her arm and gave them a little wave before turning back to Rachel. “How could you wish that?”

“If he didn’t join, then I wouldn’t have met JC. I wouldn’t be in the place I am today.” Her life had been changed by the decision to ask Lance to join the group. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but that set in to motion so many stepping stones. 

“Then you wouldn’t know me. We wouldn’t have the career we have. Joey may not even have the life he has now. We could have broken up and never even gotten married. Plus, look at Lance.” Melissa said nudging Rachel’s arm. “Look at him. If he never joined the group, he wouldn’t be where he is today. He would probably be stuck in Mississippi. Maybe married with kids hiding who he truly is. He definitely wouldn’t have met Michael. How could you wish that on him?”

Rachel looked over to the table in time to see Lance look at Michael and give him a smile that caused her heart to clench. Melissa was right. Without NSYNC, Lance would have never met Michael and she didn’t want to take that away. The love she saw between her brother and his fiancée… she had no words to describe it. She could still remember the first time Lance had mentioned Michael to her; remember the first time she met him. She knew instantly that Lance had found the one.

“Sometimes I don’t even know how you’re an artist.”

“What?” Rachel turned to look at Melissa again, taken aback. 

“You are an amazing artist. The way you capture what you’re drawing or painting. You bring all these emotions alive on your canvas. I don’t understand how you can do that and still look at JC and not see that that man is head over heels in love with you.”

*~*~*~*

“Champion!” Rachel raised her arms high in the air after Melissa hit the water, falling off Joey’s shoulders. It was the second time she hit the water. The first time she demanded the best two out of three. It hadn’t taken very long before she was back in the water. “Lance and I perfected this game growing up.” 

“Fairly certain we were undefeated,” Lance chuckled, tightening his hold on his sister’s legs where he kept her from falling off his shoulders. “No one stood a chance.”

“Can we play?” Briahna asked wadding up to her father with McKenzie. 

“Maybe a little 2 on 1 to unseat the champs,” Joey grinned and lowered himself in the water for his daughter to climb on to his shoulders. “Get over here C and help.” He called to JC who was sitting on the edge of the pool, a drink in hand, his feet in the water, watching the fights.

JC put his drink down on the edge of the pool and slipped into the water. The cool water felt good. He walked to the group, a smile on his face. It had been comical watching Rachel and Melissa battle. “You ready?”

“Yes!” McKenzie grinned and waited for JC to kneel in the water so she could climb on his shoulders. She gripped her thighs tightly as JC stood, trying not to fall off. She had done this before with Briahna but they were always too busy laughing to really hold each other up.

“What are you guys doing?” Michael asked as he came outside. He’d been inside setting the TV up for Caleb and Kloey. They were sunned out and needed a breather and were currently watching The Lego Movie. He figured they would fall asleep well before the movie was even halfway.

“Chicken fighting,” Lance called. “We already beat Mel. Only way they can beat us is two against one.”

“This outta be good.” Michael grabbed his phone from the table and set it up to record. 

“Alright Mel, you tell us when to start.”

“Everyone ready?” Mel asked looking first at Briahna and Joey, then to McKenzie and JC, and finally to Rachel and Lance. “You’re going down.” She told them with a laugh.

“Hey, fair and unbiased officiating please,” Rachel told her friend.

“Well it is my husband, daughter, and goddaughter on one team.”

“Against me! Your best friend! I think we need a new ref! Michael!”

“Oh I’m not getting involved in this,” Michael laughed, giving a wave as he continued recording.

“Alright, everyone ready?” Melissa asked again. Seeing the nods, she continued. “On the count of three…one….two…”

“Knock Rachel off I’ll give you a hundred bucks each!” Joey said as Melissa shouted three.

“Wait…. What?” Rachel wasn’t ready. Joey’s shout had distracted her. Briahna and McKenzie attacked her and she hit the water immediately. She come up sputtering to everyone laughing, including Lance.

“Undefeated my ass,” Joey laughed as Briahna and McKenzie high fived. “You just got smoked!”

“That wasn’t fair!” Rachel shouted, wiping the water from her face. 

“We kicked your butt Mom!” McKenzie laughed, raising her arms in the air much like her mom had done earlier. “Champions!”

“I want a rematch,” Rachel declared, causing everyone to laugh again. 

“If I knock Rachel off again, is that another hundred bucks Dad?”

“Yeah Joey? Do we get another hundred?” McKenzie grinned. “I can take that to Mississippi.” 

“Can you try to at least defend yourself this time?” Lance ducked down to allow his sister to climb back on his shoulders. He found himself being pushed under water instead. It was his turn to come up sputtering. “What the hell was that for!”

“Can you try to at least defend yourself this time?” Rachel mocked him. “It’s Joey’s fault! Yelling out about a bet. I didn’t even hear Mel yell three.”

“That’s it,” Joey laughed, holding his hand up allowing Briahna to high five him. “We got them fighting now. We’ve cracked their relationship. They’ll be even easier to beat this time.”

“Don’t see how it can get any easier,” JC laughed giving Joey a high five. He heard McKenzie laugh on his shoulders. 

“Maybe I need a new partner. Looks like maybe our partnership has run its course.”

“One loss and you’re dumping me?” Rachel was offended. 

“Gotta go with a winner,” he looked up at McKenzie. “What do you say Kenz?” 

“Sorry Uncle Lance,” McKenzie grinned down at her uncle. “Gotta go with a winner and Team KenC is undefeated.”

JC laughed out loud at the look on Lance’s face. His heart warned at McKenzie picking him over Lance. He reached his hand up over his head and grinned when McKenzie slapped it. 

“What? We got team names now?” Joey said affronted. “Team KenC,” he snorted in their direction. He sent them an eye roll, winking at McKenzie to let her know he was teasing. “Team Bass,” he scoffed and pretending to spit at them. “We all know Team Fatone is where it’s at.”

“You guys are going down,” Rachel said and motioned for Lance to get down so she could climb back up on his shoulders.

“Before Rachel hits the water again, look at me,” Michael called. He waited for the teams to move and face him. 

“Hey jerk! Careful or you’ll find yourself hitting the water Turchin,” Rachel glared at him.

“Just smile for the camera,” Michael grinned snapping a photo. 

“Are you guys ready?” Melissa asked as they moved in to positions.

“Let’s do this.” Rachel said, turning to look at the girls in front of her. “You’re going down.”

“In your dreams, Mom,” McKenzie sassed as Melissa started counting.

“Oh Rachel’s dreams are nice,” Melissa grinned. “We should definitely talk about those.”

“What?” Rachel gasped and stared at her best friend. “There will be no talking…”

“Three!” Melissa shouted and laughed as Rachel hit the water.

*~*~*~*

“I’ll walk you out,” Rachel said to JC purposefully ignoring Melissa’s smile and thumbs up.

“Hey man, thanks for crashing the party,” Lance grinned, as he took JC’s hand and pulled him in to a short hug. He refrained from saying anything regarding his sister. The interesting development wasn’t far from his mind the entire night. He’d been watching the interactions between JC and Rachel all night. His sister was definitely smitten with JC again. Still. He didn’t know which. 

“Bye JC!” McKenzie came up after her uncle released JC and gave him her own hug. “Thanks for coming.”

“This was way better than getting stuck with a needle,” he teased her, hugging her. He had gotten to know McKenzie a lot today. He had fallen in love with everything he learned. She was one of a kind. 

“You’re still gonna come to my recital right?” McKenzie asked, staring up with him, with a pleading look on her face. She used it on her mom a lot to get something. Her mom was getting immune to it, but it always worked on Lance. 

“Definitely,” JC smiled. One of things he was able to learn was just how well she played the piano. It had been his turn to get the round of drinks from the kitchen. When he went inside, he heard the piano and followed the music, forgetting all about the drinks. He had stood in the doorway listening to McKenzie play. She had messed up a few times, but she never gave up. She just went back a few measures and started over until she got the correct notes and continued on. She had been so embarrassed when he clapped when she was done. It had led to him sitting down next to her on the piano bench and playing a couple songs for her. He had been in the middle of teaching her a song when Lance had come in to find him and the drinks.

“Awesome,” McKenzie beamed.

“Later guys,” he gave a final wave and followed Rachel outside. Night had long since fallen. The day had been long, but it had been one of the best days he’d had in awhile. It was nice to sit around with friends and hang out. The day was full of laughter, jokes, and stories. The drinks flowed freely which probably attributed to a lot of the laughs, jokes, and stories. He hated that it was over. He hated that he was about to climb into his car alone and drive all the way back to his empty house. 

“I’m glad you came,” Rachel said softly as they walked down the couple steps outside Lance’s front door. She smiled at him when he reached for the gate, opening it for her and allowing her to walk through. Once through the gate, she waited for him to pull it close and she walked with him down the remaining steps and onto the sidewalk. The night had chased away the California heat, leaving a chill. She had to raid her brother’s closet for a hoodie to put over the sleeveless shirt she wore. 

“Thanks for inviting me,” JC bumped her shoulder with his and smiled at her when she looked at him. They came to a stop at the front of his vehicle. “Kenzi is great.”

Rachel beamed at him. “She is, isn’t she? Of course she’s now two hundred bucks richer thanks to Joey. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

JC laughed. “I should probably get half of that since I was on her team.”

“Traitor,” Rachel teased. “But we sure showed them.” After Rachel had hit the water the second time, the girls declared themselves champs and said it was the adults turn. She had still been complaining about how unfair it had been. Each time she had been distracted at the start of the matches, allowing Briahna and McKenzie to knock her off Lance’s shoulders without a fight. When it came to the adult match, the girls had begged Michael to join. He finally gave in and joined the rest of the adults in the pool, while Briahna and McKenzie got out and grabbed their phones to take photos. Melissa had paired up with Joey, Michael with Lance, and she had been left with JC. 

“Team Bassez all the way,” JC held up his hand, allowing Rachel to give him a high five. When her hand slapped his, he held on to it. He held Rachel on his shoulders through numerous chicken fights in the water against both Michael and Melissa. It was something he would never forget. They had been victorious each time. Each win caused Rachel to gloat even more until the other teams had enough and ended up tackling them into the water. He had swallowed so much water during the ensuring struggle because he’d been laughing so much.

“Better than team KenC?” She teased him again.

“You’re gonna make me choose?”

“Nah,” Rachel laughed softly, letting him off the hook. “She’s got a crush on you.” 

“Yeah?” JC asked, his facial features softening at Rachel’s statement. He rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand.

“Oh yeah,” She smiled up at him. 

“That’s good because I have the biggest crush on her mom.” JC watched Rachel’s eyes widen. Under the street light he could see a blush sweep across her face. “I always thought you were cute when you blushed. You used to do it so often when we were younger,” he reached up with his free hand running his fingers down the side of her face before tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear. He kept his hand on her face, cupping the side of her face. “It’s even cuter now.” Her face darkened at his words and she broke their gaze to look at the ground. He moved his fingers to her chin, tilting it up so he could meet her gaze once more. He leaned forward and saw her eyes drop to his lips before meeting his eyes again. With her hand tucked in his, his fingers on her chin, he pressed his lips to hers.


	10. Chapter 10

“Hello?” Rachel called out as she shut the front door to Melissa’s house behind her. “Mel? You here?”

“Yeah! Just a minute!”

Rachel heard the feint yell from somewhere in the house and walked in to the kitchen to wait. She put her purse and the folder she carried down on the table and walked to the counter where Melissa had their Keurig set up. She browsed the selection, loaded the machine up and grabbed a cup from the cupboard. As she waited for her drink, she browsed the papers hanging on Melissa’s fridge hung by an assortment of magnets. 

A new one caught her eye: _‘Me? Crazy? Don’t make me come down off my unicorn and slap you!’_ and she giggled. It sounded exactly like her friend. It held up an orthodontist reminder slip for Briahna. Melissa’s fridge wasn’t that much different than hers. They had the same school flyers. Crazy magnets. A dry erase calendar that showed no free days because their kids had decided to participate in everything they could think of. Melissa often joked about putting a meter in her car. With two more kids, Melissa was constantly busy. McKenzie kept her driving everywhere with her many events, but it was nothing like Melissa.

The photos on the fridge hadn’t changed in months, years even. A baby photo of Caleb remained in the same spot from when it was first put up two years previously. She knew there was a photo of McKenzie and Briahna. A photo of her and Melissa. A photo of the Fatones. One of just the Fatone kids. There was even a photo of the Fatone kids, plus McKenzie. _‘She’s practically ours anyway,’_ Joey had said when he’d taken the photo. One photo caught her eye. It was new.

Rachel heard the Keurig stop, but she paid it no mind as she grabbed the photo that hadn’t been on the fridge when she’d been by a few days ago. Her eyes widened looking at it. She recognized the event immediately, but it was a photo she had never seen before. It was Joey and Melissa’s wedding. Kenzi was three and a half and had shared flower girl duties with three year old Briahna. In the photo she was wearing her flower girl dress; a white satin a-line gown with a sash that tied in the back. The sash was burgundy which matched not only the bridesmaid dresses but the groomsmen vests and ties. 

In the photo, McKenzie was on the dance floor, holding on to JC’s hands while standing on his feet. Kenzi had her head titled up grinning at JC. The groomsmen had all worn suits, but at the time the photo was taken, JC had ditched the coat revealing the burgundy vest over the white long sleeve button up. He was smiling down at Kenzi. Rachel had never seen the photo.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?”

Rachel gave a small shriek and whirled around, sending some of the papers and magnets to the floor. “Jesus H. Christ Mel! Are you trying to kill me?”

Melissa cackled as she bent down to pick up the fallen items. “I stood in the doorway for a good five minutes and you didn’t even notice. What were you looking…oh.” She said knowingly seeing the photo on the fridge.

“I’ve never seen that before.” Rachel took some of the papers from Melissa’s hand and put them back up on the fridge. “In the two years I’ve lived here, you have never once changed any of these photos. Now you add this one,” she narrowed her eyes at her friend. “What are you playing at?”

Melissa laughed at Rachel, turning away from her friend and headed to the Keurig. She removed Rachel’s cup and set out making a cup for herself. “I’m not playing at anything. Briahna put that on the fridge a couple days ago. I don’t even know why. It’s too cute to take down.”

“What is it with those two and old photos?” Rachel asked taking her coffee cup and sitting down at the kitchen table. “I can’t keep Kenzi out of the photo albums and those photos she brought to Lance’s the other day….”

“Those were funny,” Melissa said taking a seat across from Rachel. “I can’t really tease Joey because he’s quick to pull out my less than stellar fashion choices. When you get a couple of the guys together, they are too busy poking fun at each other to notice I looked terrible.”

“Not gonna crimp your hair?” Rachel grinned.

“Maybe for Halloween. We can go as a couple of 90s chicks.”

“Right, you know you guys always do a family themed Halloween.” The Fatones always had family costumes for Halloween. Last year they went as the characters to Scooby Doo. The year before they were characters from The Flintstones. One year it was Star Wars.

“We can always find a non family party to go to,” Melissa pointed out. “Get a babysitter for the kids. Dress up, go out, and have a good time.”

“What’s a non family costume…”

“You could go as a hooker. Get yourself some thigh high boots…think Lady Marmalade music video. Hey!” Melissa gasped. “Better yet, go as one of the characters from the video! I bet you could pull off Pink. I’d say Christina but that hair man…You probably wouldn’t even be able to hold your head up under the weight.”

“Her hair was crimped wasn’t it?” Rachel asked, trying to remember the video. “You can go as her.”

Melissa snorted. “Maybe 15 years and 3 kids ago. This little pouch,” she said as she patted her belly. “Says Lady Marmalade I am not.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Stop. You look great after three kids….”

“How about bad girl Sandy from Grease? JC’s eyes would probably fall out of his head once he saw you in those leather pants.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Stop,” Rachel said as a blush covered her face. “Why are we talking about Halloween anyway? That’s like six months away.”

“Never too early to start planning a good Halloween costume.” Melissa took a sip of her coffee. “This year we can finally double date!”

“Double…whoa Mel. What are you talking about?”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Me and Joey and you and JC.”

“Mel, slow down… this thing with JC just started. It might not even be a thing by Halloween.”

“Come on Rachel,” she rolled her eyes again, shaking her head. “You two have finally hooked up…”

“We didn’t hook up,” Rachel interrupted. “It was just a kiss.” She blushed just thinking about the kiss she and JC had shared Saturday in Lance’s driveway before he got in his car and drove off.

“Just a kiss,” Melissa mocked. “You couldn’t even remember your name when you came back inside.”

Rachel ducked her head, a small smile playing at her lips. The kiss had been everything she imagined and more. When it ended she had to pry her fingers from his shirt. She hadn’t even remembered gripping it. The smile he sent her melted her heart. 

Melissa squealed stomping her feet on the ground multiple times in excitement. “Finally after all these years…. And he made the first move! That should put your fears to rest! He made the first move! He told you how he thought you were cute back then. Proving that I was right when I told you that he felt the same way about you then as you felt about him. If you had just listened to me to begin with…”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I could have had everything I ever wanted.”

“You said it. So,” Melissa straightening and crossed her arms on the table, a grin on her face. “What’s gonna happen next? He taking you out on the town? Showing you off? Telling the world he finally got his head out of his butt. Why the hell not?” she questioned when Rachel shook her head.

“Maybe eventually,” Rachel shrugged. “But I can’t go out this week, even if he asked me. Kenzi has piano. Track practice every day after school. Track meet. Girl Scouts. Plus we’re flying out on Friday until next weekend.”

“You don’t leave until Friday. That means you have four days you can go out, including tonight.”

“Tonight?” Rachel gasped. “Are you kidding me? I can’t go out tonight! There’s not enough time to get ready.”

“It’s noon. You have plenty of time,” Melissa laughed. “I only need a couple hours to get ready. I spent more time getting Joey ready than I do myself.”

“It’s a school night anyway.”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Not for you. You can stay out all night long and let the cat drag you in in the morning,” she wiggled her eyebrows at Rachel, laughing as she blushed. “JC’s right. You are cute when you blush.”

“Shut up,” Rachel said looking away from Melissa. She grabbed the folder laying on the table and slid it across the table to Melissa. “I finished the drawings. I wanted to get them done for you before I left.”

Melissa grabbed the folder and opened it up revealing the drawings inside. She leafed through them studying each one individually. 

“If you make me take these with me to Mississippi Mel,” Rachel warned as Melissa made noises as she checked out the drawings.

“I’ll make a deal with you.”

“A deal?” Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Go out on a date with JC and I will accept all of these as is without making you change a thing.”

“That’s blackmail.” Rachel narrowed her eyes.

Melissa grinned. “Yup.”

“What’s the big push to get me to go on a date this week? Seriously. We just kissed two days ago. At this rate Mel, you’ll have us married by the time I fly out to Mississippi.”

“What time is your flight on Friday?” Melissa said as she started thinking.

“Just hold the bird seed,” Rachel said getting flustered. “What changes do you want made? If I get started on them now, I could have them finished by the time I leave. Then when I get back, I can change them back.”

“You suck.”

Melissa closed the door after her friend an hour later. Caleb was up from his nap and sitting in his booster seat at the kitchen table eating his lunch. “Your Aunt Rachel is not getting off that easy,” she told her son. She grabbed her phone from the table and pulled up her messages. Knowing she was probably committing suicide, she typed in JC’s name. 

*~*

“Hey,” Rachel smiled as she answered the phone. She reached out and turned the radio down in her car.

“What are you up to?” JC asked hitting the button to close the garage door and entering his house.

“Sitting at the school waiting for Kenzi to get done with track practice. Sometimes I swear she’s not mine. I can’t play the piano worth a lick and she runs… for fun.” She shuddered just thinking about it. She shuddered for an entirely different reason hearing JC’s chuckle in her ear.

“You know there is no way you can deny her. She’s a spitting image of you.”

“Yeah, I guess that doesn’t work in my favor huh?”

“Not even a little bit,” he laughed. “Kenzi keeps you pretty busy.”

“I spend more time in my car waiting for her to be finished with various activities than I do using it for anything else. I usually use the time to sketch out ideas for my next projects. Before Caleb was born, I think Mel actually wrote an entire book using all the times she was waiting for Briahna. Now she shows up late, slows down and Briahna has to just kind of jump in the car while it’s still moving.”

“Is that how you’re passing the time? Sketching?”

“Playing Candy Crush,” she said with a laugh. “I’ve been stuck on this level for ever!” A smile graced her lips, hearing JC laugh. “Since we’re leaving on Friday for a week, I finished up all the drawings for Mel and dropped that off today. Nothing is pressing, so everything can wait until we get back.”

“So you’re free for dinner?”

Rachel froze in her seat at JC’s question. She narrowed her eyes thinking about the conversation she had at Melissa’s earlier. She must have been silent for a long time because she heard JC call her name. “What did you just ask me?”

“I asked if you’re free for dinner.” JC said slowly. At this point he was concerned that he should have listened to his head after the text conversation with Melissa. She had basically ordered him to ask Rachel out to dinner this week and she had preferred right now. He had his reservations about asking her out to dinner and had planned on doing it once she returned from Mississippi.

“Why?”

“Because I like to eat dinner. I’m assuming you like to eat dinner as well. I figure maybe we can do it together.”

“Did Melissa put you up to this?” Rachel questioned. “I swear to God I’m gonna take Caleb out for the afternoon, feed him ten pounds of sugar and then drop him off at Melissa’s feet.”

“If you don’t want to, you can say no…” JC said, his heart sinking. After Saturday night he was sure they were in the same place with regards to their relationship. Now though, he wasn’t so sure.

“What? Of course I want to go out to dinner with you!” Rachel nearly shouted, his words and tone penetrating through the anger she felt for her meddling friend. “I’d love to! I just…”

“You just what? What’s going on?”

Rachel blew out a breath and rubbed her face. She needed to get a hold of herself. “You make me nervous.”

“What?” JC paused, his arm gripping the refrigerator door where he’d been ready to pull it open to grab a bottle of water. “I make you nervous? Why do I make you nervous? We’ve known each other for years.”

“That’s exactly why,” Rachel spoke trying to figure out the words she wanted to say. “We’ve known each other a long time. I… JC…I don’t know if you knew, but I had a serious crush on you when we were younger. Crush probably isn’t even the right word… I was in love with you. I had so many dreams about you and me and the life we’d have together. All these dreams and I couldn’t even get up the nerve to tell you that I liked you,” she scoffed, shaking her head. “And then…” she could feel the lump rising in her throat. “Then,” to her embarrassment, her voice cracked. She closed her eyes and shifted the phone away from her mouth. God, she was a mess. 

“Rachel,” JC dropped his hand from the fridge door and rubbed that hand over his face. His heart wanted to sing from the top of the world’s tallest building hearing Rachel confirm that he’d be right all those years ago. He thought Rachel had feelings for him, but it wasn’t something he’d bet on. He liked keeping it unknown for fear of finding out the truth and that truth not being what he wanted – what he wished for. Everyone told him to go for it, from Joey, to Chris, to Justin. Even Lance told him. He drug his feet, putting it off. Then it was too late.

“I’m sorry,” Rachel wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. “But now, here we are again. After all these years we’ve landed back in front of each other. Everything I felt back then when I was a silly 19 year old girl, I feel today. It’s like nothing had changed. It makes me nervous. This is so important to me. I don’t want to mess this up.”

“Rachel,” he leaned back against the counter. He wish he was having this conversation with her face to face instead of over the phone. “Did it occur to you that I feel the same way? That a dorky 22 year old just might have been in love with that silly 19 year old girl.”

“I didn’t allow myself to hope,” Rachel said softly. Looking out the windshield, she could see Kenzi walking toward the parking lot in the distance. She was walking with two other girls and they were laughing. Each had duffle bags slung over their shoulders and water bottles in their hands.

“We did everything wrong back then,” JC continued. “I don’t want to do that now. I thought you were the one that got away. But like you said, here we are again. I’m nervous too. If you don’t see that, then I’m better at hiding it than I thought. There were moments on Saturday where I felt like that dorky 22 year old again. I’m asking you to have dinner with me because I want to spend time with you. Texting and phone calls are great, but I want to be with you.”

“Are we moving fast?”

“Moving fast?” JC asked incredulously. “Rachel, it’s taken me 15 years to ask you to dinner.”

Rachel giggled at JC’s tone. “I see your point.”

“At this rate I’ll be nearing social security before I get to second base,” he quipped with a smile on his lips. It did his heart good to hear Rachel’s soft laughter in his ear. It was a much better sound than her tears.

“You’ve barely gotten to first,” she teased, her voice light and airy. 

“Come to dinner with me and I’ll make sure I’m solidly on first.”

Rachel shuddered as his voiced dropped. She gave slight shriek when someone slapped the passenger window. She was so startled at the sound, she dropped her phone. It fell to the floorboard at her feet. Looking at the window, she saw McKenzie grinning. The other girls she had been walking with, were already gone. She’d been so engrossed in her phone call, she hadn’t noticed her daughter closing in. 

McKenzie opened the door laughing. “You nearly jumped out of your skin!” 

“I outta ground you,” Rachel said watching her daughter climb in the passenger seat. Her duffle bag went to the floor board and her water bottle between her legs as she pulled the door shut and fastened her seat belt. She leaned down and grabbed her phone. The call was still connected. “You still there?” 

“I’m still here. Are you okay?” JC asked worriedly, forcing himself to relax back against the counter. When he heard Rachel scream, he had straightened up, tense.

“Kenzi scared about ten years off my life,” Rachel answered. “Didn’t even see her coming.”

“Who are you talking to?” McKenzie asked before she took a drink of her water. She used her shirt sleeve to wipe her forehead. 

“JC.” Rachel watching her daughter’s eyes light up and couldn’t contain the smile on her face. 

“Can I talk?”

“You mean you don’t need to immediately get on your phone and text someone?” Rachel teased. “Kenzi wants to talk to you.” She said into the phone before handing it off to McKenzie. Since her daughter was talking, she put the vehicle in reverse and back out of the space.

“Hi JC!” McKenzie grinned into the phone.

“Hey Kenz,” JC smiled hearing her voice. “How was practice?”

“Great! Feel like I can run a couple more miles,” she laughed hearing her mother groan. “I shaved an entire minute off my 1600 meter run!”

“Wow! That’s great!” 

“Can’t wait for our meet on Thursday! Can you come?”

“Kenzi!” Rachel hissed, giving her a sideways look as she turned out onto the main road and headed home.

“Where is it?”

“It’s at John F. Kennedy High School. Mom can tell you where it is.” 

“I’ll be there.” JC promised. He was working in the studio this week with John Popper, but he’d see if they could do a little rearranging. With Rachel and McKenzie going to Mississippi, he would have all weekend and next week free with no popup track meets or spontaneous dinner dates. 

“Awesome!” Kenzi grinned. “He said he’d come!” She looked at her mom, the smile huge on her face. “You’ll let him know what time and how to get there, right?”

Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes, but she was unable to keep the smile off her face. “Yeah, I’ll tell him.”

“Mom said she’ll tell you the time and where to go,” Kenzi relayed the message. “You guys could probably just meet up and ride together. I have to take the bus to the meet.”

“McKenzie!” Rachel groaned as she came to a stop at a red light.

JC laughed into the phone. “I’ll talk to your mom.” Deciding to use a little manipulation to get what he wanted, he asked McKenzie the question he’d been trying to get Rachel to answer. “How about I take you guys out to dinner tonight? By the time I get over there, that should be plenty of time to get cleaned up after practice right?”

“Of course!” McKenzie agreed immediately, nearly bouncing in the seat with excitement. “That will give us plenty of time!”

“Plenty of time for what?” Rachel questioned, sparing a look in her daughter’s direction. She switched lanes to drive around a slower car. “What are you guys talking about over there? Kenzi?”

“JC’s gonna take us to dinner. By the time he drives over here, we’ll be home and changed.”

“Kenz…” Rachel said but her daughter was already back on the phone with JC. The smile on McKenzie’s face hadn’t dimmed at all from the moment she started talking to him. She tried to be mad at the underhanded move, but she couldn’t. Truth was, she was bouncing in her seat excitement as well. She couldn’t wait to see him.


	11. Chapter 11

JC looked at the clock on the dash one more time as he made the turn on Rachel’s street. He was running fifteen minutes behind because of traffic on the 101. When he suggested dinner, he hadn’t been thinking about the traffic he would encounter. All he had been thinking about was seeing Rachel and McKenzie. 

He double checked the address Rachel had text to him and looked at the numbers on the houses. Another thing he hadn’t given thought to, was a place to eat. If they were going in to the city, he could name dozens of places or even close to his place. Here, though, he didn’t have a clue. He had friends who lived in the area, but they always met up in the city. Yelp hadn’t been much help and he’d broken down and messaged Joey. He had to suffer through jokes and teasing before Joey finally offered up the names of a couple of places.

The long drive had given him a lot of time to think. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told Rachel earlier that he thought she was the one that got away. There had always been something about Lance’s twin sister for him that he never really noticed until after she graduated and moved to Orlando. Once she moved in with Lance, she tagged along on their tours becoming fast friends with Melissa. They grew closer during those years. They hung out and talked a lot; got to know each other.

He liked her. It wasn’t a secret. It also wasn’t something he admitted outright. The guys would tease him about her. Even management would drop teasing hints here and there. JC would always grin and shrug off the comments. Their friendship had been special to him. It was the only reason he could think of as the reason why he never said anything to Rachel about his feelings. Why he never made a move. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship. Lance had pulled him aside one day and told him that if there was some sort of ‘bro code’ stopping him from dating his sister, to knock it off. Lance had told him to ask her out; to make his move and to stop mooning already. 

There was never a right moment – in his mind at least. Something was always stopping him. Silly reasons he knew now. If he could go back in time, he would slap his younger self in the back of the head and tell him to stop being an idiot and just ask her out already. If he was able to do that, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how much his life would have changed. Rachel told him she had their life planned out, that she dreamed of their life together. He wondered if it was anything like he imagined.

Things had gotten a little crazy with the group when they figured out their manager at the time had been swindling money from them. The fact that, even though they had been performing sold out concert, and selling copy after copy of their records, they were in fact poor. The craziness worsened when after their sued, they were then countersued. It had been dark days for them scared they wouldn’t be allowed to even keep their name. The drama had eventually worked itself out, they were able to keep their name and they were able to get out of their contracts with the record company and sign with a new label. It was freeing.

The group dropped a new single with their new record label and it blew up. They had become so busy there were times they didn’t know whether they were coming or going. With the new single, came the new album and a brand new tour. Everything had been turned around. They had a lot more freedom. They were in charge of themselves for once. With them being on top, JC had made the decision to tell Rachel his feelings. He had made a promise to himself he would tell her before the ‘No Strings Attached’ tour started. He had given himself roughly four months to work up the nerve.

He had waited too long. It was another thing he’d slap his younger self for if he could. If he had needed the time to work up the nerve, he would have made sure the end date wouldn’t be the start of the NSA tour. It would be by the time the album released. The start of the tour was too long.

JC had no idea what had even happened. He wasn’t sure anyone did, including Lance. One day Rachel was fine, enjoying the album’s huge success like they were. Then the next, she was pulling away. No one had a clue as to why. It had been a week crammed full of the highest of highs with the record breaking album release basking in the anticipation of the upcoming tour. It had also been a week filled with lows with Rachel despondent and withdrawn. They tried to rouse her from the funk she had fallen in; tried everything they could think of. He remembered he and Lance tried to the hardest. He also remembered he and Lance causing her to sink further and further.

It hurt. He was in love with her and she wouldn’t talk to him anymore. She wouldn’t acknowledge him. Joey and Chris had tried. Falling back into their teasing and trying to make her blush like they had been doing from the moment she’d be introduced to them. They had failed miserably. Rachel had snapped and told them to shut the fuck up, then left the room. If it hadn’t been such a serious situation, JC would have laughed at the look on their faces when Rachel had cussed. It had been the moment that alerted them something was seriously wrong but they weren’t given a chance to figure out what.

The next day Rachel had left.

An empty feeling had settled over him when Lance had told them that Rachel had left, gone back to Mississippi. Justin had been happy, saying maybe it was good she had gone back home. That he hoped it would help. They had all hoped the same. Lance had been reluctant to answer their questions about when she’d return. He had asked if she’d be back before May when their tour kicked off. He could still remember the look of sympathy Lance gave him. Even though Lance had said he didn’t know, his face had told him she wouldn’t. 

They were kept busy with interviews and appearances in between practicing for the tour. He knew the tour would be explosive. Ticket sales were already through the roof. He was anxious to get back on the road and perform. When he was able to turn his mind to music, everything was fine. Left alone with his thoughts, he was a mess. He had racked his brain countless of times trying to figure out what had happened to cause the change in Rachel. He had taken to sending her short e-mails. Random notes on what he had did that day or funny stories. He kept them light in hopes of raising her spirits. Not once did she ever respond.

The tour had kicked off and he became too tired to let the thoughts of Rachel consume him as they did leading up to the tour. They were moving from one city to the next right after another. In each city there were appearances and radio interviews. Months bled into the next and Rachel still hadn’t shown up on tour. Then in August, Lance had dropped a bombshell on them all.

Rachel was pregnant.

JC brushed aside the memories as he pulled to a stop along the curb in front of Rachel’s house. What happened back then no longer mattered. The foundation for their relationship may have been laid back then, but they were different people now. They had each grown up and incurred bumps and scars along the way. He had plenty he kept hidden from everyone. That dorky 22 year old still might be inside of him somewhere but he was often drowned out by the 37 year old man.

The one that got away hadn’t really gotten away after all. She was here in front of him again, smiling that same crooked smile that often made his heart skip a beat with the green-yellow eyes that captivated him; getting lost in conversations all over again. It brought back all those dreams he had where she was his and he was hers.

The front door opened and there she was, crooked smile and captivating gaze. His heart stumbled and he was lost. He brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek before threading them into her hair. With that hand, he ducked his head and guided her lips to his. 

When the kiss ended, Rachel blinked her eyes open staring in to his blue ones. Her hands had moved to his waist sometime during the kiss. She tightened her fingers in the white shirt. “Whoa,” she smiled at him. “Is this how you greet everyone?”

“Just you,” JC said, moving his thumb back and forth against her head where his hand still cupped her.

“I’m half tempted to make you ring the door bell again,” she said only half teasing.

JC chuckled softly as he lowered his head again. His lips moved against hers and he took a small step forward when he felt Rachel’s arms go around his back. He pressed a hand to the small of her back, holding her to him. 

“Seriously guys? The door is open.”

They broke the kiss and turned their heads to look, seeing McKenzie standing behind them grinning.

A blush swept across Rachel’s face and she buried her head in his chest. His arms moved to wrap fully around her holding her tight against him. She splayed her hands on his back, applying pressure to keep him in the hug.

“I take it you don’t mind this?” JC asked, slightly apprehensive waiting for McKenzie’s answer.

“Is he the one you’ve been talking on the phone with all the time?”

“Yes,” Rachel answered her daughter when she lifted her head from JC’s chest. She dropped an arm from around him and shifted to stand next to him; one arm still around his waist.

“Should have known.” McKenzie rolled her eyes. “Are we leaving? I’m starving.” She turned and walked away leaving the adults to stare after her.

“I guess she approves?” JC said dryly as McKenzie disappeared. His moved his fingers back and forth over her waist. 

“Guess so,” Rachel grinned at him. “So, I’m not sure if I appreciate you manipulating me in to dinner tonight.”

JC laughed. “Gotta use any angle I can. Are you guys ready to go?”

“Apparently you’re gonna be just as bad as Lance is with her,” she shook her head, a small smile on her lips. “Another one I have to watch out for, so you guys don’t completely corrupt her.”

“Come on,” JC walked with her through the foyer to the kitchen where she grabbed her purse off the counter. “You know she’s amazing.”

“I know.”

McKenzie couldn’t stop from grinning in the car as JC drove them to a restaurant called Captain’s Quarters. It was a burger joint she’d been to a few times with her mom and friends. She half listened to the conversation her mom and JC were having. They’d been playfully arguing since they left her house about who should drive and who was a better driver. It was funny listening to her mom get riled up. All JC could do was laugh.

 _‘Mom and JC are dating!!!!!’_ She sent the message off to Briahna who immediately responded.

_‘No way!!!! How do you know?!’_

_‘I walked in on them kissing.’_

_‘No freaking way!!!’_ Briahna send followed by a row of the shocked emojis. _‘Are you freaking out right now? I’m freaking out for you!’_

Kenzi chuckled softly at Briahna’s texts. _‘We’re on our way to dinner right now. I told you JC’s taking us out. They are so cute! Arguing about mom’s driving and the directions to the restaurant. Mom’s on a roll and JC’s just laughing at her. They are holding hands!’_

 _‘Awwwwwww!’_ Briahna sent with the heart eye emoji. 

As inconspicuous as possible Kenzi angled her phone in order to snap a picture of their entwined hands resting on the gear shift. Every so often, JC would have to shift and he’d do it in a way that he still had her mom’s hand in his. The movements were so natural it was like they had been doing it for years. She sent the photo to Briahna who responded back with a ton more heart eye emojis.

As the traffic grew more congested, they slowed almost to a crawl made worse by the traffic lights. The restaurant was only a couple lights away. She hummed along to the radio, tapping her foot to the beat as she scrolled through the photos she had saved on her phone from the get together they had at Lance’s. She also had a couple older ones that she had snapped a picture of photo before putting it back in the album. Each of the photos were ones of her mom and JC. She couldn’t stop staring. She hadn’t found resemblance between her and JC yet, but she knew that didn’t mean anything. Her cousin Keagan didn’t look anything like Aunt Stacy. Stacy often teased she was given the wrong baby at the hospital. Just because she didn’t look like JC, didn’t mean he wasn’t her father. They shared the same blood type which mean there was as possibility. She just had to get up the nerve to finally ask one of them. Once she did she would finally have an answer on who her father was.

*~*~*~*

“I’m gonna go do my homework,” McKenzie said as they entered the house after dinner. It was getting late, but she was used to doing homework late sometimes especially if she had a track meet that fell during a weekday. Most times she’d do it in the bus on the way to the meet, but sometimes it was more fun to talk with her friends than do homework.

“Alright,” Rachel said. “Don’t stay up too late. I’ll be up to check on you in a bit.”

“Okay,” she turned to JC and hugged him. “Thanks for dinner.”

“Anytime.” JC said with a smile.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” She asked slyly.

“McKenzie Sofia!” Rachel scolded, aghast while JC laughed.

“Bye JC!” Kenzi waved and quickly left the room.

Rachel could do nothing but shake her head after her daughter. “That girl, I swear.” She looked back at JC, a smile on her face. “Do you have to take off?” Glancing at the watch her wrist she frowned seeing the late hour. They had stayed longer at the restaurant than she anticipated but they were having such a good time. Kenzi kept them entertained with stories, some she had heard numerous times, and others she hadn’t. JC stayed involved in the conversation even when it turned to teenage drama.

“I can if you want?” JC knew what he wanted. He wanted to stay. He didn’t want to leave, but he would let her take the lead on this. 

“I want you to stay for a little while,” she smiled at him and took his hand, leading him into the living room. She sat down on the couch, pulling him to sit down next to her. Crossing her legs, she leaned into his side, her hand resting on his leg. 

“You ready for your trip to Mississippi?” JC wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

“I am. It will be nice to be home.”

“Home huh?” He teased lightly.

“Mississippi is always home,” she moved her thumb back and forth across his denim covered leg. “After I moved back from Orlando, I didn’t think I’d ever move away again.”

“I was surprised when Lance said you were moving out here.” 

“Kind of surprised myself. I just… needed a change I guess. Felt like I was in this rut and it wasn’t getting better. I was standing still and life was passing me by.” She spoke softly. It felt like she was hiding in Mississippi. “It was a hard decision to make.”

“I bet. Leaving everyone behind.” JC felt there was more to the story, but he didn’t press. While he knew a lot about Rachel, there was still things he didn’t know. Things she still kept close to the vest. He wanted her to open up to him, but he had to remember that even though they knew each other for years, the relationship was still new. “I ran in to Lance at some event I can’t remember what for and he was on cloud nine because you were moving here.”

Rachel laughed softly. “He would fill up my e-mail with houses for sale, places to rent. Crime statistics. Schools for Kenzi. Activities to sign her up for. He drove me completely insane. Melissa was driving me bat shit crazy as well. She kept sending me listings and ranked them by which ones had cuter neighbors. I wanted to throttle her.”

JC felt the jealously grow deep in his stomach. He hadn’t paid attention to Rachel’s neighbors when he pulled in earlier. “Is that how you picked this place?”

“No,” Rachel giggled. She twisted her body toward JC, moving the hand from his thigh to wrap across his midsection and kissed his cheek. “I live next to an 80 year old retired doctor who has been happily married for 60 years. Though I am eyeing one of his great grandsons for McKenzie to marry. He’s only 10, but he’s so adorable.”

JC laughed and tightened his arm around her, causing her to shift closer to him. He didn’t mind. “Kenzi know you’re already picking out suitors.”

“Not yet, but I figure I gotta get them lined up before she brings home my worst nightmare.” She shifted again to bend her legs beneath her. 

“If that fails, there is always Joey’s convent.” 

Rachel laughed. “That is true. Always have a backup plan.” She laid her head down on his chest and sighed softly. He titled his head to rest against hers. Her eyes fluttered closed and she enjoyed the moment. Snuggling on the couch wasn’t something she had done in a long time, unless you counted McKenzie, which she didn’t. It was felt nice. Just like holding the hand of someone across the gear shift.

“You believe that photo Briahna pulled out the other day?” JC brought his leg up, resting his ankle on his knee. When he rested his hand on his knee, Rachel’s hand met his. He threaded their fingers together. “The prom photo?”

“Oh God, is there a more 90s photo than that one?” Rachel chuckled softly. 

“Give me a bit and I could probably find one.” He laughed knowing that simple search of NSYNC would bring up dozens of photos that would fit the bill. “I hadn’t seen that picture before.”

“I hadn’t either.” 

JC didn’t remember how the topic of prom came up, but when it did, Justin had informed them that he never had a prom because he’d been with them for his entire high school career, taking online classes and having a tutor. Lance hadn’t attended prom either for the same reason. When that had been known, he, Joey, and Chris had decided to throw a prom for Justin and Lance. It had been a small affair. Justin’s mom had been in attendance and so had Diane, Rachel’s and Lance’s mom. 

“You didn’t bring a date,” Rachel said as she thought back on that night. “Everyone else did, but you didn’t.” She had attended both her junior and senior proms in high school. Her brother may have been spending time in Europe and Florida, but she had been stuck in Mississippi with her dad and Stacy. She got to experience the highs and lows of high school.

“I wanted to ask you, but I was too nervous. I showed up alone, hoping you would too.” They had both shown up alone. When they did pictures toward the beginning of the night, everyone threw them together. 

“Dancing with you was so awkward,” she chuckled. “It was like a junior high dance.”

“I didn’t know where to put my hands… well I knew where I wanted them, but your mom was eying me down.”

“Highly doubtful. Mom always had a soft spot for you. She was probably giving the ‘stank eye’ to Chris who had some highly inappropriate moves for what was supposed to be a high school prom.”

“So did Justin, but Lynn was too busy making sure Chris didn’t spike the punch.” He chuckled at the memory. Getting an idea, he untangled himself from Rachel. When he was standing he held an outstretched hand toward her.

Rachel’s face showed her confusion, but she placed her hand in his and allowed him to pull her up from the couch. “What are you doing?” She asked watching as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Hold on,” he said keeping hold of her hand. He used the thumb of the hand he held the phone in to tap on the keyboard. When he found what he was looking for, he grinned. Making sure the volume was all the way up, he tapped play and sat it on the arm of the couch. 

The opening strands of _‘All My Life’_ by KC and JoJo started playing, Rachel smiled and squeezed his hand. “You remembered…”

“Of course,” JC pulled her to him. “No moms here eying me down.”

“You can put your hands wherever you want.” Hers went around his neck. His settled on her hips making sure she was close to him. “Much better,” she murmured, relaxing into him as they swayed to the music. 

“You are the only one and my everything, and for you this song I sing,” JC sang softly, his eyes drifting close. He could almost picture the room where they held the makeshift prom. His suit had been slightly too big. A flower had been pinned to the jacket from Lynn. Unlike now, he had been clean shaven. His hair longer on the top than it was on the sides. They had decorated the room in some ‘Under The Stars’ theme. Diane and Lynn had did a lot of the leg work. He couldn’t remember how many people were invited to celebrate. Other than Melissa, he couldn’t even remember the dates anyone else had. 

It had taken awhile before anyone started dancing to the slow songs. Up until the moment this song had come one, everyone used the slow songs to rest or grab something to eat from the snack tables. _‘All My Life’_ had come on and Joey had said fuck it and pulled Melissa to the dance floor. In doing so, the flood gates opened and everyone followed. The table had become empty except for him and Rachel. _‘You wanna?’_ He had asked and took her hand when she said sure. Her face had been flushed red in embarrassment. 

“All my life I prayed for someone like you, and I thank God” he moved one hand from her hips to the small of her back where he held her closer to him and brought the other hand up to pull her arm from his neck. He clasped her hand and tucked them on his chest. Her arm dropped from his neck and he felt her hand splayed on his back. “That I finally found you,” he whispered against her ear. “All my life I’ve prayed for someone like you and I hope that you feel the same way too.” 

When JC’s voiced faded away on the verse, Rachel titled her head, her nose trailing along the rough stubble of his cheek, seeking his lips. She melted into the kiss as her heart became his.


	12. Chapter 12

“Gramma!” McKenzie yelled as she threw open the door to the SUV Lance had rented and jumped from the vehicle before her uncle barely had it in park. 

“Kenzi!” Diane wrapped her arms around her granddaughter, hugging her tight. “Oh I missed you!”

“Now’s your chance Sis,” Lance said as he they climbed from the SUV. “Make a run for it. I bet they wouldn’t know you were gone.”

“And run where?” Rachel laughed, happy to be back home.

“West Hollywood would be my first guess,” Lance wiggled his eyes brows behind his sunglasses.

Rachel felt the blush on her face. Not wanting to get in to Mississippi real late, they changed their flight to an early morning Los Angeles take off. Since that meant being at the airport at 4 in the morning, she and McKenzie had spent the night at Lance’s. His personal assistant, Lisa, drove them to the airport. She would then stay at Lance’s while he was away to dog sit. Lisa had given Lance an earful on the way because of the early morning. Rachel wished she had planned ahead better. She was running on very little sleep.

McKenzie had a track meet yesterday. It of course ran late. Despite telling him it was out of his way, JC drove all the away to her house before back tracking to the meet. They sat together in the stands, garnering looks. A few people had asked for pictures and JC had graciously accepted as long as McKenzie wasn’t on the track. He cheered just as loudly for McKenzie has she had as well as the other members of the school. Afterward, JC took them out to dinner, again. She made a mental note to tell him he didn’t have to buy them food in order to spend time with them. Once he dropped them off at their house (and after a prolonged good bye in the driveway) she rushed to gather their things and get on the road to her brother’s. 

On the flight, she had started off in a seat next to McKenzie. Her daughter immediately claimed the window seat and leaving her with the middle. She didn’t know the person on the aisle seat. Lance and Michael sat in the seats behind them. In the beginning they all slept in the early hours. As the hours passed, she found it hard to stay asleep so she gave up and read a book on her phone. Eventually McKenzie changed seats with Lance, so she could sit next to Michael to play MadLibs.

Lance had taken the opportunity to grill her about her relationship with JC. She had put off his questions as long as she could before she’d given in and explained. She was dating JC. It was a new development. She was happy. Lance had teased her good naturedly before giving her a hug and saying how happy he was for her.

“Am I gonna hear this all week?”

“Oh yeah,” Michael had a smile on his face as he joined them. “Wait until your mom finds out.”

“Finds out what?” Diane asked, joining her son and daughter, and soon to be son-in-law.

“Mom has a new boyfriend.” McKenzie giggled.

Diane looked from her granddaughter to her daughter, with her eyebrows raised in question. Lance and Michael had wide grins.

“Alright,” Rachel groaned. “Let’s get this over with. Mom, I am dating JC.”

“It’s about time,” Diane stated causing Lance and Michael to burst out laughing. With a smile on her face, she pulled her daughter into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks Mom,” She hugged her mother tightly. “It’s so good to be home.”

“You should have invited him,” Diane told her daughter. 

“I figured I’d wait until I subjected him to the family,” she said dryly.

“He knows exactly what he’s getting in to,” Lance laughed and hugged his mother. “Hi Mom.”

“Hi Sweetie,” she hugged her son tight before turning to Michael. “Michael,” she said with a smile, hugging him.

“Hello,” he hugged the woman who, in less than eight months, would become his mother-in-law. “How are you?”

“Happy to have my family back together,” Diane said honestly.

Lance awed as they all went back to the car to grab their luggage and took it into the house. Diane directed them where to go. It was unnecessary; they always stayed in the same room. Lance stayed in his childhood room with Michael. Rachel stayed in her childhood room. McKenzie was in Stacy’s. They weren’t their childhood rooms any longer. Her parents had updated the décor, replaced the twin beds with full size beds. Any items that had been left behind by their kids had been boxed up and moved to the attic. Rachel always meant to go through her boxes when she visited, but she never did.

“Something tells me you should just move your suit case to Stacy’s,” Rachel teased her daughter after she dropped her suitcase in the bedroom. She’d unpack it later.

“Can I?” Kenzi turned wide eyes on her mom. The eyes were full of begging.

“Maybe for a night or two,” Rachel relented. “But,” she said, stopping Kenzi’s movements in their spot. “Do not even bring that up to Leighton until I have a chance to talk to Stacy. I mean it Kenz. I am not gonna be on the receiving end of one of Stacy’s rants this week.”

“It’s so nice when someone else is on the receiving end of those,” Lance grinned as he and Michael came up to them.

“It was a helluva lot better when you were on the receiving end of those instead of me.” Rachel said as they made their way down the stairs. “Daddy!” She grinned seeing her dad, Jim, standing in the living room at the bottom of the stairs. He hadn’t been there when they came through earlier. She wrapped her arms around him hugging him tight. “Oh I missed you!”

“It’s so good to see you,” Jim said as he hugged his youngest child tight. 

“What is the plan for tonight?” Rachel asked after she let her father go to greet Lance, Michael, and McKenzie.

“We weren’t sure if you guys would be tired from the trip or not,” Diane explained. “So we’re just gonna order pizza in. That way you guys can relax from your trip. Get rested up. Stacy was thinking about hitting the Children’s Museum in Jackson tomorrow. She also mentioned the Art Museum or maybe the zoo.”

“Sounds good to me,” Rachel nodding and sat down at the kitchen table. Her parents had the most comfortable couch, but for some reason, everyone always gathered around the kitchen table.

“She has an entire list of things planned out,” Jim said taking his seat at the head of the table. 

“Good,” Lance said grabbing a chair. “That means I don’t have to come up with what to do. It’s always good for one person in the party to be organized.”

“Sunday,” Diane continued, “We planned on coming here after church, having a cook out, letting the kids in the pool.” She had it already planned out with extended family members coming as well. “Everybody will be here.”

“You know how many years we begged mom and dad for a pool and they refused,” Lance looked at Michael, a smile on his face.

“Oh yeah,” Rachel said laughing. “Summers were so hot and we wanted our own pool instead of having to go to the community one. Answer was always no. Pop out grandchildren though and they couldn’t get a pool fast enough.”

“It’s the best thing about being grandparents,” Diane chuckled. “We get to spoil them with everything we would never do to our kids. You’ll find out someday.”

“A long long long way into the future,” Rachel said, eyeballing Kenzi.

“Hint taken Mother,” Kenzi rolled her eyes.

“What does everyone want on their pizzas?” Diane pulled a take out menu from the drawer to a local place they frequented. 

“Buffalo chicken and ranch!” Kenzi shouted out, causing the adults to stare at her. “What?” She asked seeing all the eyes on her.

“Where did you get that disgusting pizza habit?” Lance asked.

“We are not ordering that monstrosity,” Rachel told her daughter.

“What are you teaching that child?” Jim asked. “Who puts buffalo chicken and ranch on a pizza?”

“JC does.” Kenzi said. “We had it last night and it was ah-mazing!”

“Don’t look at me,” Rachel raised her hands innocently when everyone looked at her. “I had a perfectly acceptable piece of pepperoni pizza. They sat on the other side of the table with their terrible habits.”

“If you had pizza last night, we can do something else.” Diane bit back the questions she had for her daughter about JC.

“Mom, its fine. We stopped off after Kenzi’s track meet.”

“How did that go?” Jim asked his granddaughter while his son and daughter argued over pizza toppings. He shook his head, ‘Some things never change.’

“Awesome! I placed first in the 1600 meter run, first in the 800 meter run, and fourth in the 3200 meter run,” Kenzi said proudly. “I should have brought my medals to show! I have some photos on my phone. Mom took a lot too.”

“I haven’t had the chance to put them on Facebook yet. Haven’t even scrubbed through them to weed out the bad ones.”

“What are those in American terms?” Lance asked, trying to do the conversions in his head.

“Half mile, mile, and two miles,” Michael answered his fiancée with a grin. “Well technically mile, half mile, and two miles since that’s the order she gave them in.”

“What happened in the 2 mile?” Jim asked reaching out to accept the cell phone Kenzi put in front of him. He smiled proudly seeing the photo of her with the three medals displayed proudly around her neck. “That’s my girl!”

“My stamina isn’t that great yet,” Kenzi frowned remembering the race. She had started out great, but faded at the end allowing runners to pass her. She tried to push more, but she just couldn’t. “I just started that event this year. Yesterday I led practically the whole way. They shot by me at the end.”

“Sweetie you’ll get there,” Diane moved next to her granddaughter’s chair and put an arm around her. “You’ll build your stamina and I bet by the time track rolls around next year, you’ll leave everyone in the dust.”

Kenzi grinned at her grandma. “That’s what JC said too. I just gotta practice. Find a running partner…”

“Oh no,” Rachel shook her head. “Do not look at me. I will take you to a track to practice, but my butt will be parked in a lawn chair at the start/finish line.”

“You see JC a lot?” Diane asked.

Rachel groaned. “Don’t you have pizza to be ordering?”

“Like you didn’t know this was coming,” Lance smirked at his sister.

“Well we saw him Saturday at Uncle Lance’s. Monday we went to dinner. Yesterday he came to my track meet and we went out for pizza afterward.”

Diane smiled at her daughter, her eyes shining with mirth. “I saw the pictures from Saturday. Looked like a lot of fun.”

“Yeah,” Kenzi grinned. “We totally kicked Mom and Uncle Lance’s butt in chicken fighting. And they said they were undefeated,” she scoffed.

“Hey! We were undefeated! You guys cheated!” Rachel shot out, her voice rising. 

“Here we go,” Lance said, causing Michael to laugh. “She kicked your butt. Just admit it.”

“You lost too buddy.” She gave him a look.

“Well you won at the end of the night,” Lance laughed out loud as Rachel slapped him in the arm. He leaned toward Michael, out of the way from his sister’s second slap.

“What happened at the end of the night?” Kenzi asked looking between her mom and uncle.

Lance puckered his lips and made a kissing sound before breaking out in to laughter. Michael joined in with him. His parents weren’t laughing, but they had smiles on their faces.

“Oh that’s nothing,” Kenzi giggled. “You should have seen them on Monday. The front door was hanging wide open and they were going at it.”

Rachel groaned and let her head fall against the table.

*~*~*~*

Rachel groaned when she blinked her eyes open, stretching beneath the covers. She could smell the coffee wafting up from the kitchen downstairs. Judging by the light coming in through the curtains, it was still early. She wanted to roll back over and go back to sleep for a few more hours, but the coffee was hard to ignore. Throwing the covers back, she sat up and reached for her phone on the bedside table. There was a moment of pure panic when it wasn’t there.

“What the hell…” she muttered climbing from her bed to look at the floor to see if it had somehow fallen off the table during the night. All that was on the floor was the empty charger. Turning around she saw her phone laying on the mattress and frowned. She was sure she had plugged her phone… she groaned as she remembered. 

They hadn’t stayed up late. By nine, McKenzie was falling asleep on the couch where she had been curled up next to Diane. Michael had started yawning. Once Lance started having long blinks, Diane shooed them all to bed. When she was settled in to her room for the night, she had called JC. She must have fallen asleep on him. 

Rachel slipped the glasses resting on the bedside table on her face, she grabbed her phone and headed into the bathroom down the hall. She used the bathroom and brushed her teeth before making her way down the stairs. She saw her father sitting in the recliner watching the morning news and slipped in to the kitchen where she grabbed a coffee cup from the cupboard. Movement caught her eye and she saw her mother sitting on the porch swing out the backdoor. 

“Morning Sweetie,” Diane said when she saw her daughter coming through the door. “I wasn’t expecting you guys up for hours yet.”

“Smelled the coffee.” Rachel took a seat on the swing next to her mother. She took a sip of coffee the perfect temperature since she added milk. Looking out across the backyard, she sighed. She would never get tired of the view. Aside from the addition of a pool, the backyard still remained the same as it had when she was growing up. The shed still stood in the corner of the fenced in yard, filled with father’s yard tools and her mother’s gardening items. In the middle stood a huge maple tree that was perfect for climbing. She, Lance, and Stacy would spend hours playing on that tree. She was glad that her parents didn’t cut it down when they put the pool in. The yard space obviously gotten smaller with the pool. When they were younger, backyard BBQs had games of croquet, badminton, volleyball, and horseshoes. Today, the only game they could play was horseshoes and that was if they switched the direction they normally set the stakes up. The back porch was decorated with beautiful blooming flowers and ferns. While she couldn’t see, she knew there was still a flower bed in front of the porch on the right side. 

“I wish I would have gotten your green thumb,” she told her mother. “Only thing I can keep alive are fake flowers.”

Diane chuckled softly. “California landscape isn’t all that great for gardens.” When her daughter still lived in Mississippi, she’d spend the weekends helping her daughter weed the flower beds she had helped put in around the house. They would spend hours out in the sun pulling weeds, talking and laughing. She missed those days. “So Kenzi sure has taken a shine to JC.”

Rachel groaned, regretting coming outside to sit with her mother. She could have taken her coffee into the living room with her father. She could guarantee he wouldn’t ask questions about her dating life. 

“Oh stop,” Diane swatted her daughter on the leg. “You had to know you’d get questions. Every time I talk to Kenzi, she’s JC this and JC that. Then the pictures she posts he’s always in there somewhere.”

“She has a crush on him.” She flushed thinking what happened when she said those words to JC and the kissed they had shared.

“She’s not the only one,” Diane smiled knowingly watching Rachel blush. “So… let’s hear it. You’ve told me about all the other boys you liked. I had to constantly buy calling cards because you would go through all my minutes on them talking about a boy in high school.”

When Lance had been selected to join the group, they eventually had to go to Europe. Their management thought it would be best for them to break into the Europe scene first before bringing them back to America. Since Lance was underage, Diane went with him to Europe. Justin’s mom, Lynn, also tagged along. It made for some rough moments in the Bass house with two of their members gone. They lived off phone calls and the letters and postcards Diane would send. It was rough for her because she had basically lost her mother during high school. She had Stacy to talk to, but no one compared to her mother. Diane always gave the best advice, knew exactly what to say.

“We started talking after Kenzi ran in to him while she was selling Girl Scout cookies,” Rachel started. “It all happened so fast. I was talking to him on Facebook, then texting, then asking him to lunch. Next thing I know, I’m inviting him to Lance’s and he’s taking us out to dinner, coming to Kenzi’s track meet…”

“Well that’s the cliff notes version,” Diane smiled.

“I think I’m in love with him.” Rachel said softly, gripping her coffee cup as she stared out over the backyard. “That’s impossible right? It’s only been two weeks.”

“Oh it’s been longer than that. Face it Rachel,” she said to her daughter, as she set the swing in a gentle sway. “You’ve been in love with JC for a long time. Probably since you moved to Orlando after graduation.”

“Yeah,” Rachel didn’t dispute the fact. It had been longer than two weeks. “These past two weeks have been…” she breathed out a sigh, a small smile on her lips. “Amazing. Mom, I… whether it’s on the phone, texting, or face to face, we can just fall in to a conversation about anything. We laugh. He makes me laugh. I just want to spend time with him. I feel like I have hearts in my eyes.”

“You do have hearts in your eyes.” Diane confirmed. “It makes me so happy to hear you talk like this. I can hear something different in your voice every time we’ve talked on the phone. I can see it in your face now that you’re here. You’re glowing talking about him right now.”

“I saw him last night and I miss him. Knowing that I’m not going to see him for the next week. Isn’t that pathetic?”

Diane shook her head. “Not at all. You’re in the excitement of a new relationship. You want to spend every waking moment together. Anyone who has ever been in love understands that completely.”

“That mean this will eventually wear off and we’ll fade?” Rachel questioned.

“Not if it’s real,” Diane commented. “People who talk about how they’ve lost the spark in the relationship, fooled themselves thinking they were in love when they really were in lust. From the moment I met your father, I knew he was the one. I had heart eyes when I talked about him. I wanted to spend all my time with him. We never lost that spark. We’ve carried it nearly 40 years. Sometimes it still feels like we’re newlyweds. When you meet the right person, the one you’re supposed to be with, that’s what it feels like.”

“I’ve never imagined myself with anyone else,” she told her mother truthfully. “It’s been JC since I was 18. I knew where we would live, how many kids we’d have, what our wedding would look like. When he smiles at me… it’s like I’m his whole world.”

“How does he feel?” Diane felt herself start to tear up when she saw the smile appear on Rachel’s face. She recognized what it stood for immediately.

“I was the one that got away.”

Diane hummed. “Not anymore.”


	13. Chapter 13

“Can we go to California this summer?” Leighton asked her mom as they walked into their house Sunday night. They had spent the entire day at her grandparents eating and swimming in the pool. She was so happy McKenzie was back. She hated not being able to see her all the time. It sucked having her best friend live so far away.

“Leighton,” Stacy narrowed her eyes at her daughter. “Where did you get an idea like that?”

“I miss Kenzi,” Leighton sighed. “It sucks that she has to live so far away. Why did Aunt Rachel have to move anyway?”

Stacy had wondered that very same thought when her sister first mentioned that she was thinking about moving to California. She stressed herself out thinking about Rachel being far away, Ford had to step in talk her down many times. It didn’t get by her that there had been something wrong with Rachel the longer she stayed in Mississippi. She loved the small time life. Her shop in Jackson gave her the fill of city life. If she really wanted to experience the city life, New Orleans wasn’t that far away. Rachel though, was different. Her younger sister didn’t mind the small town life, but Stacy could see how if wore on her. 

Rachel never really quite fit in when she moved back home. Stacy chalked it up to the years she spent on the road and living Lance’s crazy life. It probably would have effected her if she had been following Lance around. Stacy figured once your experienced something like that it would be hard to settle back in to life in Mississippi. The town where everyone knew who you were, who your parents were, and even your grandparents. Gossip was plenty and over the years the Bass family provided enough fodder in town. 

First Rachel had wound up pregnant and unwed. The Bible Belt ate it up. Busybodies speculated who the father was and how Jim should have demanded a marriage. It didn’t matter that Kenzi was now thirteen. The gossip didn’t stop. Even when Rachel moved to Orlando. It still was discussed. It picked back up when Rachel moved back. The topic was still discussed even today. Then Lance came out. Stacy remembered how her parents had received sympathy bouquets like her brother had died. She was disgusted how the members of her community had reacted and she wasn’t shy about unleashing her sharp tongue on what she thought of their narrow minded opinions.

“I know Leighton,” Stacy answered her daughter. “I miss them too. I hate they had to move away.”

“They didn’t have to move away,” Leighton huffed sitting at the bar stool watching as her mother put away the containers they brought home. They were filled with leftovers. She was already thinking about the peanut butter and chocolate concoction Rachel had made. It had been delicious. She’d been disappointed to learn that it had been finished until her aunt pulled her aside and whispered she had made an extra one just for her to take home.

“I think they did, Sweetie.” Stacy rearranged the items on the shelf to make room for the pie container. 

“Why?” 

“I’m not entirely sure.” She heard her daughter’s dramatic sigh behind her and wished she had the answers. There have been plenty of long nights where she had stayed up trying to figure out a way to help her sister; to figure out what she needed. No matter what she did, Rachel never opened up to her. At first she took it personally, Rachel had always been closer to Lance. Then she learned that Rachel didn’t open up to anyone regarding what had happened in Orlando or who McKenzie’s father was.

“Does it have to do with JC?"

Stacy blinked in surprise at the question. It had been completely off the wall question. She shut the fridge and turned around to face her daughter. “Why on earth would you think Rachel moving to California would have to do with JC?”

“Because he’s Kenzi’s father.”

“WHAT!” Stacy shrieked, staring at Leighton, her eyes wide. 

“You didn’t know?” Leighton asked feeling her stomach drop. 

“Where did you hear JC was Kenzi’s father?”

“Kenzi told me.”

“Kenzi told you,” Stacy repeated.

“Yeah, she said she’s been doing some digging. She’s looked through Aunt Rachel’s old things. She found out JC’s blood type and it fits with what her blood type is. She doesn’t think JC knows though. She’s trying to figure out how to tell Aunt Rachel and then she’s gonna tell him.”

Stacy pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. 

“It’s good right?” Leighton asked slowly. “Kenzi finally getting her father? They all look really happy in the photos on Facebook. And maybe now people will stop talking about Aunt Rachel like she did something wrong.”

Stacy sighed at her daughter’s words. “I’m sorry you had to hear what people say about Rachel. I’m sorry you have to hear what they say about Lance.” There had been many discussions with her daughter about Rachel and Lance the past couple of years since the first time Leighton had come home in tears when a kid at school told her Rachel and Lance were going to Hell. She had already started discussing the topic with Kellen and Keagan, but they were still a little young yet to know exactly what was going on. They saw Rachel as their aunt and McKenzie as their cousin. It didn’t matter if there was a wedding or not. They saw Lance as their uncle and Michael was their bonus uncle. All that mattered to them was Michael loved their uncle and that he played nerf wars with them when he came to visit. “Leighton, you have to tell me everything you know. What has McKenzie been telling you?”

Leighton looked at her mother, her eyes darting toward the stairs wanting to escape. “I can’t. It’s a secret. I promised Kenzi I wouldn’t tell.”

“Leighton, Honey,” Stacy reached out laying a hand over her daughters. “I know it’s important to keep secrets but I know I explained to you that it’s wrong to keep secrets when they could get someone hurt.”

“How will this hurt Kenzi?” Leighton asked, wide eyed. 

Stacy pursed her lips as she thought of an answer that was appropriate to tell her daughter. “Leighton, there is a lot of grown up stuff…” she paused when her daughter rolled her eyes.

“You always say that when you don’t want to explain. That’s not fair. You want me to break a promise to my best friend but you won’t even tell me the truth.”

“Leighton,” Stacy sighed. “You need to understand that McKenzie searching for her father is something that Rachel needs to know. Your Aunt Rachel wasn’t exactly happy when she found out she was pregnant with Kenzi, okay? She never talked about who McKenzie’s father was…. Not to me, not your grandma. Not even to your Uncle Lance. Kenzi asking these questions could cause Rachel to be hurt. Kenzi could wind up getting hurt.”

Leighton was silent. She didn’t want her cousin to be hurt. She just wanted her to find her father; to know what it felt like to have one. She didn’t want her aunt to be hurt either. She sighed. “Okay…”

*~*

“I see you cheated on me and went back to Lance as your partner.”

Rachel laughed softly as she sat down on the edge of her bed. The house was quiet. Everyone retired for the night after a long day of being outside. It had been a good day. She got to catch up with family members she hadn’t seen in awhile. There was good food, great conversation, and lots of laughter.

“Then Kenzi ditched me also.” She could hear the teasing in JC’s voice. During the afternoon she found herself in the pool chicken fighting. Up on Lance’s shoulders once again, she fought against Stacy who had been on Ford’s. Just like when they were kicks, she and Lance were victorious over Stacy. Then Kenzi and Leighton wanted in on the fun. Kenzi took her spot on Lance’s shoulders and Leighton climbed on her father’s.

“Oh, Kenzi didn’t fair too well,” Rachel chuckled. “Leighton knocked her into the water, she came up and told Lance that you were a much better partner.”

“No she didn’t.” JC gaped settling on his couch with a glass of wine he had poured for dinner. “How did Lance take that?”

“He was so offended.” She laughed again remember the look on her brother’s face. “He dunked her so much I swear she swallowed half the pool water. Then Leighton joined in to help and attacked Kenzi. Then they both went after Lance. He was water logged when he got out.”

“It looked like you had a good day.” JC had spent more time on his Facebook page today than he had previously. Pictures had started coming in almost immediately when Rachel had posted photos of the family together before church. Afterward, there had been a steady stream of photos posted of the get together. He didn’t know a lot of the people in the photos; had only been able to pick out her immediate family. There had been one photo that caused him pause. He didn’t know who posted it, had only seen it because they had tagged Rachel in the post. Rachel was sitting in a lawn chair cradling a baby in her arms. His heart had jolted at the sight and he never wanted anything as much as he wanted that photo. Rachel holding a baby in her arms. His baby.

“It was a good day,” she echoed and snapped off the lamp next the bed and settled down in bed, pulling the covers up over her. “I haven’t seen a lot of people I had seen in awhile. It was nice to catch up. Kenzi got to play with a lot of her cousins. We all ate too much food. Thank God Momma only has one of these planned.”

“What do you guys have planned tomorrow?”

“Sticking around town. Stacy couldn’t get away tomorrow. So she’s working, but Tuesday morning we’re going to head down to the Gulf and have a day at the beach. Weather is supposed to be perfect.”

“Sounds like fun,” JC said and he longed to be there with her. It amazed him how important Rachel had become to him in such a short time. McKenzie too.

“I wish you were here to come with us.” She said softly into the darkness of the night.

JC smiled, feeling a warmness spread through him. “Me too.” He had seriously contemplating hoping on a plane to Mississippi when Rachel told him Diane mentioned he should have come.. If he wasn’t needed in the studio this week, he would have left in a heart beat.

Rachel felt her phone vibrate in her hand and she pulled it away from her ear to see who had sent her a text. Seeing a message from Stacy she frowned. 

_‘Meet me at 8 for coffee tomorrow at Java Up. It’s important.’_

Rachel frowned at the message and put the phone back to her ears. “Hey, give me a second. Stacy’s texting me.” With JC’s ‘okay’ in her ear, she sent Stacy a reply. _‘Why?’_

 _‘I need to talk to you and it’s really important. Don’t bring anyone either. Come alone.’_ Stacy’s reply came through fast and her frown further deepened. 

_‘Just tell me now.’_

_‘I can’t. Not over the phone. Please just meet me tomorrow.’_

_‘Okay. I’ll be there.’_

She was still frowning when she put the phone back up to her ear. “Okay, I’m back.”

“Everything okay?”

“I’m not sure.” Rachel said and explained the short text exchange to him. “I’m not sure what is so important that she has to tell me in person. We saw each other all day today. She didn’t mention anything about having to tell me something.”

“Maybe Kenzi is planning another trip,” JC teased.

Rachel groaned. “Bite your tongue! With Leighton and Kenzi, it’s hard to tell. She gets me in trouble with Stacy she’s not gonna have to worry about Joey taking her to the convent, I’m gonna drop her off there myself.”

*~*

The next morning Rachel pulled in to the parking lot of Java Up. The drive thru was fairly busy and as she was pulling into a parking spot, she saw Stacy coming out of the door with two coffee containers in her hands. Her face was pinched tight and Rachel felt the dread growing. Whatever Stacy wanted to talk to her about, it didn’t look like it was good news.

“Morning,” Stacy said climbing into the passenger seat of Rachel’s car.

“Morning,” Rachel said, reaching out to take the coffee container Stacy’s offered. “I feel like this is some secretive meeting, sitting here in the car of a parking lot. Why can’t we go inside?”

“Too many people.” Stacy told her.

“Don’t want to subject them to one of your rants?” Rachel teased her lightly. “I’m sure the people in town know exactly what happens when you’re angry.”

“You make me sound like The Hulk,” Stacy rolled her eyes, taking a sip of the hot coffee.

“There’s an image,” Rachel giggled. In her mind she thought about drawing that image as a joke for her sister. “So what did you have to tell me? Did Kenzi start planning another trip? I swear if she has, you can yell at her. Maybe if she feels your wrath she’ll stop doing it and getting me in trouble.”

“She hasn’t planned another trip as far as I know, though Leighton did ask to go to California this summer. I bet Kenzi was all over that.”

“You guys should try to come out this summer,” Rachel told her sister, latching on to a topic to ward off whatever Stacy really wanted to talk about. She had a feeling she didn’t want to hear it. “If not you can send Leighton out for a week.”

“I’ll have to think about it,” Stacy replied, knowing that Leighton would love to fly to California by herself and stay with Rachel for a week. “It might be a little hard since we’re planning a vacation over Christmas.” Yesterday after church before everyone had started arriving, the Bass family had a discussion about going away for a vacation. Since everyone lived where it was warm weather most of the year, they decided to get away to the mountains and go skiing over the Christmas break. It was still in the early planning stages. “Listen Rachel…”

“I don’t know if I want to hear this Stace…”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Stacy looked at her younger sister, her eyes full of sympathy. “But I have to tell you before you get blind sided with it. Least you can prepare.”

“What’s going on?”

“Kenzi has been digging in to who her father is,” Stacy could see the emotions on Rachel’s face before she shut down. She bit back a sigh. McKenzie’s paternity always caused Rachel to shut down. “She thinks she knows who it is.”

“What?” Rachel asked, paling at Stacy’s words. One of her worst nightmares had come true. 

“Leighton told me all about what Kenzi’s been doing.” Stacy reached out and grabbed her sister’s hand. 

“She…she knows wh..who it is?” Rachel felt her stomach rolling. She swore she was going to be sick.

Stacy nodded, squeezing Rachel’s hand. “She thinks it’s JC…”

“What?” Rachel snapped her head toward Stacy, her eyes wide. 

“Kenzi thinks JC is her father. Apparently she’s found some of your old things in the attic. Notebooks, sketches, old photographs… she figured out his blood type somehow and realized it’s a possibility.”

“Oh God…” Rachel whispered covering her face with her hands.

“She’s getting ready to tell you… to tell JC…” Stacy said softly. She dropped her sister’s hand and rubbed her back instead when Rachel learned forward in the seat. “I knew I needed to tell you. I know how hard this is for you. I didn’t want you to be caught off guard when Kenzi came to you.”

“Oh God…” 

“Sweetie, what can I do?” 

“Nothing. No one can do anything.” Rachel felt the tears well in her eyes.

“Is Kenzi right? Is JC her father?”

“No.” The walls she had built crumbled and she started crying. When Stacy drew her into her arms, she went.


	14. Chapter 14

Rachel continued driving with no direction in mind. Her mind was in a fog. From the moment Stacy mentioned Kenzi was trying to figure out who her father was, she felt detached. It had taken awhile to assure Stacy that she was fine after the crying jag. Her sister didn’t believe her but she finally relented and left; getting in to her own car to head to her shop, Dream Cakes. Rachel had spent another hour in Java Up’s parking lot before backing from the space and leaving. 

Eventually she ended up I-55 heading north. No destination in mind, she kept driving. The radio was still off from when she turned it down so her and Stacy could talk. It wouldn’t have mattered it was on or not, she wouldn’t hear the music. There was just a roar in her ears. She felt numb. The scenery passed her by but she didn’t notice. 

Her mind wouldn’t turn off. McKenzie had been searching for her father and she hadn’t asked her questions. She kept it a secret. Some how she came to the conclusion that JC was her father. The road blurred in front of her as tears welled in her eyes at the thought. Turning on the blinker, she got off at the next exit, needing to get off the road. Emotions were bubbling over. 

The area looked familiar and she tried to recall the directions to the lake her family had spent many summers at. Thirty minutes later she was pulling off the main road and heading back through the trees. She stopped at the rangers hut and paid the minimal parking fee and followed the winding road until it spilled into a small parking lot. There was a smattering of cars in the spots. She could see kids running around on the playground. Climbing from the car, she made her way down the path until it opened up onto the shoreline of Lake Grenada.

Every summer her family would pile into the car and make the two and half hour drive north to the lake where they would spent a whole week camping. Their days were filled with fun on the lake whether it was swimming or taking out the paddle boats or the canoes. They played in the sand on the shoreline and held contests on whose sandcastle was the best. There were plenty of hours on the playground, which looked much different today than she remembered it being, and plenty of hours trampling through the hiking paths. She, Lance, and Stacy always running ahead while their parents followed slowly behind them, holding hands. Nights were filled with campfires and ghost stories and roasting marshmallows for s’mores. She wished she had remembered this place when they were planning things to do. They could have piled in their cars and camped out on the lake, if not for the week a couple days at least or they could have come up for the day.

Rachel walked through the sand down the shoreline under she saw the entrance to a trail. It eventually ran into another trail that people caught from the parking lot. She walked along the path, passing a few people who were out exercising. She wasn’t dressed for the occasion, wearing black leggings, a t-shirt, and a cardigan. On her feet were sandals. Definitely not conduit to a hike. It was less of a hike and more of an amble walk. 

She reached an opening where there was a small water fall. It was always a popular area for people to gather around. A bench sat off to the side and Rachel walked over to claim it before someone else could sit down. Once she was seated, she leaned her elbows on her knees and buried her head in her hands. The tears started once again and she cried softly hoping not to alert the other patrons. The last thing she wanted was someone to come over and check on her.

Kenzi thought JC was her father. Rachel’s heart broke, knowing that she was going to have to break her daughter’s heart and tell her the truth. JC was not her father. She wondered what the information would do to the relationship Kenzi and JC had forged. Did Kenzi make the relationship with JC because she thought he was her father? Was that the reason she was constantly talking to him, inviting him to her activities? The reason she was okay with Rachel having a relationship with him was she thought he was her father?

What would happen when Rachel told her daughter the truth? What would happen with JC and McKenzie’s relationship? What would happen with her own relationship with JC? JC being McKenzie’s father was something she had wished for heavily. No matter how much she wished or how hard she wished, didn’t make it the case. If everything she dreamed up went to plan, JC would have been McKenzie’s father. But it didn’t and he wasn’t. 

There was nothing she could do to change what had happened. Her mom had told her that eventually McKenzie would start asking about her father. Rachel had hoped it had never happened, but she should have known better. After all, who knew her daughter better than she did? Apparently, she didn’t know her very well. McKenzie had been able to keep her search for her father a secret. Stacy had been right. When McKenzie would eventually come to her, Rachel would have been completely blindsided. She wasn’t sure she would have been able to answer any questions. She hadn’t even been able to get through a simple science question about blood.

She groaned remembering the assignment and how JC had told her McKenzie had asked what his blood type was. _‘For a science project’_ JC had told her. Her daughter had lied. She asked JC what his blood type was so she could compare it to her own blood type. It was all beginning to make sense. The blood type questions and all the old photos that had suddenly made a reappearance. The sudden interest McKenzie had about NSYNC and how she paid closer attention to the stories Rachel would tell her or Lance.

How could she have missed this? Rachel knew that answer. She missed it because she didn’t want to see it. If she could ignore everything pertaining to McKenzie’s paternity, the better. Her head was stuck so far in the sand she wasn’t sure it was even possible to extract it.

She had to now. She had to go back home and talk to McKenzie. She had to tell her daughter that JC was not her father. Then she had to tell her who her father was. Finally she had to tell her family exactly what happened all those years ago.

*~*

“Anything?”

“No,” Lance sighed staring out the window at the street hoping to see his sister coming down the road. It was empty.

“Damnit,” Stacy cursed softly from the backroom of her bakery. After she had spoken to Rachel that morning, she had sent a text to Lance an hour or later asking about her, she’d been surprised to learn that Rachel hadn’t returned. She tried texting her sister, but had gotten no response. She even tried calling, but it rang into voicemail. 

“She’s not answer anyone’s calls. She’s not responding to texts… I even called JC and she’s not answering him either. What the hell did you talk about Stacy? What did you tell her?”

“I was trying to help her,” Stacy was offended. She never set out to hurt her sister. She would never do that. “I should have invited Mom this morning as well. I should have known how Rachel would have responded. I just… I just wanted to help.”

“I know,” Lance sighed. It was nearing five and no one had heard from Rachel since she left to meet Stacy for coffee. There were no big plans scheduled for the day since Stacy had been needed at her bakery, but with Rachel missing, they all stayed home waiting for her to arrive. She never did. Jim had even called a friend of his on the police department asking if there was a sign of Diane’s vehicle. Sometimes living in a small town paid off.

“How’s Kenzi?”

“Worried. We all are.”

“I know.”

“What did you tell her?”

“Lance…”

“Damnit Stacy,” Lance exploded. “Whatever you told her sent her running and you keeping it a secret is not helping.”

“Lance!” Lance turned around at his mother’s scolding. “Yelling at Stacy isn’t going to solve this. We’re all worried. We just need to be patient. Rachel will return. We’re gonna be here when she does. We’re gonna be here for her.”

“Hey, Rachel’s beeping in on me!” Stacy’s voice came over the phone line. “Hang on, let me get this.”

“Rachel just called Stacy,” Lance told his mom. When his sister returned home he was gonna throttle her. How dare she does this to them. 

“Oh thank God,” Diane said closing her eyes. She said a little prayer in her mind.

“Lance?”

“Yeah?” Lance said hearing Stacy come back.

“I need you to drive Kenzi over to my place. She’s gonna spend the night.”

“What’s going on? Where’s Rachel?”

“She’s on her way. She’s about an hour out. She wants to talk to all of us when she gets back but doesn’t want the kids to be there. They are going to stay at my house. I’ll get Ford’s mother to stay with them until Ford and I get home. I’m getting ready to close up shop here and I’ll be there. I’ll let Ford know to head straight there after work.”

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know Lance. I really don’t. She just said she needs to talk to all of us and asked if I knew someone who could watch Kenzi.” 

“Alright. I see you in a bit.” Lance hung up the phone and relayed what he knew to his mother.

“This doesn’t sound good.”

“No. It doesn’t.” 

*~*

 _‘Have you heard anything from Rachel yet?’_ JC sent the text to Lance. His leg was bouncing, a nervous habit that didn’t happen too often. He’d been trying to get ahold of Rachel all afternoon since Lance had asked him if he had heard from her.

_‘She called Stacy and said she was on her way.’_

“Thank God,” JC said out loud. As the hours passed, his worry grew when no one had heard from Rachel. _‘She say what’s going on?’_

_‘No.’ ‘She wants to talk to all of us when she gets here. I took Kenzi over to Stacy’s. Ford’s mother is going to watch the kids.’_

_‘Any idea what she wants to talk about?’_ JC wished Rachel would call him. Once again he found himself wishing he was in Mississippi. Something big was happening. Something big enough to send Rachel running and being out of communication all day. 

_‘Not a clue.’_

That wasn’t what JC had wanted to hear. Stacy wouldn’t even tell them what she had needed to speak to Rachel about. That irritated him to no end. Whatever Stacy had told Rachel had caused this. He wished she would have mentioned what it was. He knew Lance wished the same. JC didn’t even have any guesses as to what Rachel needed to talk about. To not want any of the kids around… JC sighed. He wanted to be there.

 _‘I’m worried.’_ JC looked down to see Lance’s incoming text.

_‘So I am.’_

*~*

Rachel pulled in to the driveway seeing not only her father’s vehicle and the rental Lance had gotten from the airport but Ford’s truck and Stacy’s SUV. She parked her mother’s car in its normal spot and turned the key. The engine died leaving her in silence. Her stomach was churning and she was fairly certain it had tied itself in knots on the drive back to her parents. In an effort to delay what was about to happen, she stopped off and filled up her mother’s gas tank. 

Sitting in the car was only delaying the inevitable. Nothing was going to stop the conversation from happening. She either did it now or she waited until Kenzi approached her and did it then. Until that happened, she would on pins and needles and worrying herself sick as she waited for the foot to drop. Climbing from the car she walked slowly up the walk and onto the porch where she pushed the door open. She was met immediately.

“Oh thank God!” Diane wrapped her daughter in her arms. “Don’t you ever do that to me again!” She told her sternly before pulling her daughter back into a tight hug. 

“I’m sorry Momma.” She felt her voice crack and tightened the hold she had on her mom. How she wished she could rewind time and be small enough to where she could crawl into her mother’s lap and have her make all the hurts go away.

“Where were you?” Diane let her daughter go. Her heart broke seeing the tear stain tracks on her face and the red swollen eyes.

“Lake Grenada.” 

“Why on earth did you drive all the way up there?”

Rachel shrugged. “I hadn’t planned on it. Just kind of where I ended up.” Looking past her mother, she saw everyone gathered: her father, Lance, Michael, Stacy, and Ford. She swallowed roughly and crossed her arms in an effort to comfort herself. Her mother wrapped an around her shoulders.

“You wanna go freshen up?” 

Rachel shook her head slowly. “No. This is already hard enough. Can we go sit down?”

“Of course,” Diane led her daughter into the living room where everyone took a seat. She tried to pull her daughter down next to her, but Rachel shook her head choosing to remain standing. She hated it. Everyone was sitting and Rachel stood in the middle of the living room looking like she was facing a firing squad. 

“I owe you guys an explanation,” Rachel began. She looked at her parents sitting on the couch and Michael sitting next to them. Ford and Stacy sat on the love seat with Lance on the recliner. Her eyes met Lance and she felt them fill with tears. She forced herself to look away and found that she couldn’t meet the eyes of anyone. “I should have told you guys this a long time ago but I couldn’t. At first…I couldn’t… then it was…just too hard. I didn’t want to think about it.” Her voice broke again and she reached up wiping the tears away.

Lance leaned forward, sitting on the edge of the chair. He was poised to jump and go to his sister. She looked so lonely standing up there by herself and it shouldn’t be like this. She shouldn’t be up there on her own. She should be sitting with them.

“I know you guys have questions about who McKenzie’s father is,” she could feel the room freeze. A family secret was about to be revealed. “I know you probably thought it was one of the guys…It’s not.”

Lance knew that was the case. He knew the only possibility would have been JC. JC’s reaction upon finding out Rachel was pregnant had told him that wasn’t the case.

“I was raped.”


	15. Chapter 15

Lance felt like he’d been punched. He was certain he heard wrong. There was no way Rachel had just said what he thought she said. No way. Looking around the room, his family wore the same sucker punched look that he was sure was on his own face. ‘No no no no no,’ his mind chanted. Stacy had covered her mouth with her hands. He could see her eyes shining with tears. His mother the same. 

“I know I should have said something immediately,” Rachel continued, her voice broken with tears. “I tried to just move on, but then… but then I ended up pregnant… I know it created a lot of issues in the family and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

The sobs grew harder and everyone moved at once. He was the first one to reach her. He wrapped her up in his arms and held her tight. Her arms went around him; hands pressing hard into his back. Her face buried in his shoulder. Her body shaking with sobs. He felt more arms wrap around them as they gathered in the living room.

“Shhh,” Lance whispered, his own eyes wet with tears. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” He held her trying to stop her tears. Multiple hands touched her back in a comforting manner. When the embrace broke, Stacy was there with a glass of water. 

“Please sit down,” Diane wrapped an arm around her shoulders, with her other hand holding on to Rachel’s forearm. She led Rachel around the coffee table to the couch. When she was seated, she immediately took a seat next to her, keep her arm around her shoulders. 

Lance immediately sat on Rachel’s free side. He gripped her hand tight. Stacy took a seat on the coffee table in front of them, Ford beside her. He felt Michael drop next to him. The couch was crowded with four people squeezed together. 

“Take your time Sweetie,” Diane said. She held Rachel’s hand in both of hers. “Ford, can you grab me the tissues?” She accepted the box from her son-in-law. She plucked a few from the box and handed one to Rachel, keeping the other one for herself.

“Stacy, did you know about this?” Ford asked taking a seat next to his wife.

Stacy turned her tearful gaze onto her husband, shaking her head. “No. Of course not. I wish I did though.”

“I didn’t tell anyone,” Rachel spoke quietly. “I…I couldn’t.” 

“Oh sweetie,” Diane squeezed her hand. “You could have always told us. You left us in the dark. We just wanted to help you and didn’t know how.”

“You don’t understand,” Rachel lifted her gaze, looking at her mom. “I couldn’t.” Her gaze flickered to Lance before dropping to the floor again.

Lance felt as if he had missed something. He tightened his hold on Rachel’s hand. “Why couldn’t you say anything?”

“I’m so sorry Lance,” she cried, lifting her eyes to meet Lance’s again. “I wanted to. I really wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t.”

Lance could feel his stomach dropping at Rachel’s words. He had a sinking feeling Rachel was holding back more explosive news. 

“Sweetie, what brought this on? You’ve kept this secret for almost 14 years. Why are you telling us now?”

“Kenzi,” her voice broke, her heart breaking thinking of her daughter. Her eyes met Stacy’s sympathy filled gaze. Her eyes were full of tears and two tear tracks on her cheeks. “Kenzi has been going behind my back trying to figure out who her father is.”

“Leighton let it slip,” Stacy spoke up for Rachel, letting her sister try to gain control. “It took some coaxing but I got Leighton to tell me the whole story.”

“I know you said she would start asking questions,” Rachel said, blowing her nose with the tissue. “I never thought she’d search on her own and get it so wrong.” More tears fell and she buried her head on her hands. “I don’t even know how I’m gonna tell her.”

“Kenzi thinks JC is her father,” Stacy said and went on to explain everything Leighton had told her and what she had told Rachel that morning. That morning seemed like such a long way away now. She never expected this to happen. There had always been a small inkling in her mind that something bad had happened to her sister, but she didn’t want to believe it. Instead she chose to believe that Rachel had an embarrassing one night stand she’d rather forget about.

“What?” Diane asked looking at Stacy then toward Rachel. “Oh Rachel…”

“Is that why she’s become JC’s biggest fan?” Lance questioned. He had been surprised to hear his niece had grabbed hold of JC and didn’t let go. He thought it was cute. There was probably no one better than JC and he often joked with Michael that Rachel had passed down her crush on JC to her daughter; that it was genetics.

“I don’t know. Maybe?” Rachel turned watery eyes on Lance. “How am I gonna tell her that not only is she completely wrong, but how I became pregnant? I wish I had told her the truth before she got this in her head.”

“Are you able to tell us what happened?” Diane asked. She wished she hadn’t been right in the fact that Kenzi was going to start questioning about her father. She wished she would have pushed Rachel harder to reveal what had happened in Orlando. This was ripping all the wounds open again, ones that hadn’t been able to heal the first time around. Her daughter had just buried them and piled things on them, hoping it would heal. Diane knew better. 

“Does he know?”

“JC?” Rachel looked at Lance with wide eyes. The shock of JC knowing caused her to lose her breath.

Lance shook his head. He knew JC didn’t know what happened to Rachel. He was fairly certain he didn’t know what Kenzi thought either. “Kenzi’s father. Does he know?”

“Maybe. I don’t know,” her stomach rolled at the mere thought of the man who had raped her. “I saw him once more after… after… then I left. Came home to Mississippi.”

“It’s someone I know, isn’t it?” Lance questioned. He felt Michael shift closer to him and his arm snake around his back. “It’s someone that was around NSYNC.” He was unable to bite back the curse when he saw Rachel nod. The curse was said with so much venom that his sister flinched. “Who?”

“Matt Wilson,” Rachel said quietly. 

Lance searched his brain trying to put a name to the face. He froze when he finally remembered the man. “From Jive?” He saw Rachel’s head nod and this time he was able to hold back the curse. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I couldn’t. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t.”

“Why couldn’t you tell me Rachel?”

“You guys had just signed with Jive… No Strings Attached had just come out…”

“None of that mattered!

“Lance,” Diane hissed, glaring at her son. She held Rachel tighter when she started crying harder. “You keep saying you couldn’t tell Lance. Why? Why couldn’t you tell him?”

“After… after it happened… he,” her lip wobbled and she had to stop. Her mother squeezed her hand, and she leaned into her, seeking comfort. “He said if I told Lance or… or anyone, Jive would drop them. That there would be a huge legal battle. Mess up future album releases. I didn’t want to ruin that,” she looked at Lance, tears streaming down her face. “You guys had just gotten out of legal issues with TransCon. Everything was going good, No Strings Attached blew up. Everything was coming together. And he was coming at me with all this legal stuff and I didn’t… I didn’t know. I didn’t understand. I didn’t want to hurt you guys.”

“Shhh,” Lance dropped the hold her hand on her hand and drew her into his arms. Inside he was seething listening to Rachel explain how she had been blackmailed by someone they not only trusted, but someone they had considered a friend. Matt had been nothing but helpful and behind them 100 percent when they first moved to Jive. He moved mountains to make them happy and give them anything they needed. 

“I’m so sorry,” Rachel cried.

“No, it’s okay," Lance soothed feeling tears slip out of his own eyes. 

“I almost told,” she said quietly. “Chris tried so hard to cheer me up. I was so embarrassed, I couldn’t tell you. There was no way I could tell JC. Not when I…” her eyes closed and more tears slid free. She felt Lance’s arms tighten around her. Her brother knew why she wouldn’t have been able to tell JC. “I figured Chris… but when I started… when I tried… Matt popped in like he knew I was gonna say something. It was like he was always watching me… he was always around… so I… I…”

“Left?” Lance filled in, closing his eyes when Rachel nodded.

“I couldn’t stay there. Not with him there. I knew you guys were worried and you needed to be concentrating on your tour. I just came home.”

“I know why you couldn’t tell Lance, but why didn’t you come to one of us?” Stacy asked.

“I just wanted it to go away,” Rachel turned her tearful gaze on her sister. “You were settling into married life, you had a baby on the way. You were so happy. I couldn’t come to you. How could I tell you that I wasn’t happy to be pregnant? That I didn’t want the baby that was inside of me?” 

Stacy’s heart ached. She had been so happy to discover she was pregnant with Leighton. She and Ford had wanted to start a family and had been trying so hard. When it finally happened they were both through the roof. She would have liked to say she would have understand where her sister was coming from, but that probably wouldn’t have been the case. How she must have hurt her sister going on and on about her pregnancy not knowing that Rachel had been living a nightmare. 

“I thought about getting an abortion…” Rachel said softly, not meeting the eyes of her family members. She knew what they thought of an abortion – one of the ultimate sins. “I knew I couldn’t do it here. Nothing stays a secret. I thought about going back to Orlando for it. With Lance on tour, I could have stayed at his house. In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Then I couldn’t hide it anymore.”

Diane would never forget the night Rachel sat them down and told them that she was pregnant. The look of terror on her daughter’s face when she told them. Diane and Jim had been shocked. She had been even more shocked to find out Rachel was already four months along and hadn’t been to the doctor. The next day she was calling Stacy’s OB for an appointment as soon as they could get her in.

There had been so many arguments over who the father of the baby was. Looking back Diane wished she would have handled her daughter’s pregnancy differently, but she hadn’t known. She did the best she could with a daughter who had emotions that could flip on a dime. There were lots of crying jags and angry tirades. If she’d known the truth, she could have gotten her daughter the help she needed.

“There were nights I prayed that I’d miscarry. How could I wish that? How am I supposed to tell McKenzie that I thought about killing her? Even went so far as to look up places who would perform the procedure.” Rachel looked up catching Stacy’s face and the tears rolling down. “All I could think about was the baby being born and looking exactly like him. That I would have to spend the rest of my life looking at a replica of the man who raped me. How was I going to love a baby that came from something so ugly?”

*~*

Lance leaned on the railing of the back porch staring out over the back yard. In the late hour it was just shadows casted by the moon. Somewhere a dog barked in the neighborhood. He couldn’t sleep. There was so much energy coursing through his body. His brain wouldn’t turn off. It kept cycling Rachel’s words through his head.

Raped. His sister had been raped while she had been living with him in Orlando and he didn’t have a clue. He never had an inkling that Rachel had been going through something so traumatic. He just left her go back to Mississippi and continued on living the high life on tour. Somedays he didn’t even think of her sister and what did that make him? 

To make matters worse, the man who did it, continued on by their side for another two years. That man was able to look him in the eye without flinching. He had been able to shake his hand and trade jokes all the while knowing what he did to his sister. It turned his stomach and he felt like falling to his knees and puking. The man raped his sister and he remained friends with him for years.

The event had been traumatic enough and then Rachel had wound up pregnant. A constant reminder of what had happened to her. His sister was the strongest woman ever. It hurt him to think of the suffering that Rachel had endured daily. The struggle of not being able to tell anyone what had happened. The fear she must have felt believing she held the fate of his group in his hands. He could relate to that fear as he struggled to keep his sexuality a secret. If that had gotten out, it would have been their downfall. Knowing his sister went through the same thing, was almost too much. 

Lance wished he knew what Matt had threatened Rachel with. He was certain they were empty threats. Their contract with Jive had been signed long before No Strings Attached had been released. Signing with Jive was one of the reasons TransCon had sued them. He was also certain that no matter if the threats came to fruition that no one in the group would have cared. They would have stood behind Rachel no matter what Jive flung at them. She was much more important than any record deal. He would have walked immediately. JC would have too.

Rachel didn’t go in to detail on what had happened or where. Honestly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. He didn’t know if he could. Maybe that wasn’t fair to his sister. He should make himself available to hear what Rachel wanted to say. Maybe she wasn’t comfortable sharing the details in front of him, their father, Ford, and Michael. Stacy and their mom had helped her to bed later. They had both stayed in the bedroom for awhile. Lance hoped Rachel had been able to share more with them.

“You can’t play the shoulda coulda woulda game.”

Lance turned at the voice, seeing his mother standing in the doorway. He hadn’t even heard the door open. “Mom, what are you doing awake?”

“I imagine the same reason you’re awake.” Diane wrapped the sweater she had thrown on tighter around her body. “The same reason your father is tossing and turning.”

“I keep thinking there was something I could have done to stop this.” Lance turned to stare out over the back yard. “That I should have noticed something before it happened and stopped it. I should have protected her more. Maybe I should have insisted she stay in Mississippi. If I hadn’t offered to let her live with me… kept her away from that life.”

“Lance,” Diane said shaking her head. She placed a hand over his son’s. “If you had told Rachel she couldn’t live with you after graduation what would have happened?”

Lance snorted. “She would have shown up on my door step anyway.”

“That’s right. She was hell bent on being wherever you were.” Diane said with a smile. “She’s always been that way, even when you two were babies. If she could have, she probably would have followed you to Russia.”

“She put the group before herself. Why would she do that?”

“So did you,” Diane pointed out. “You kept a secret putting the group before you.”

“It’s not the same though. I wasn’t raped. I didn’t go through something traumatic. I wasn’t hurt. Not really. I just hid a part of myself.”

“I know it doesn’t seem to be in the same realm but you kept who you were a secret to protect JC, Joey, Chris, and Justin. Rachel kept what happened a secret to protect them and you.”

“I didn’t need her protection though.”

“I bet the boys would have told you the same thing.”

“We haven’t been together in twelve years,” Lance said. “Why didn’t she tell us at some point during that time?”

“I don’t know,” Diane sighed. She wondered that very question herself all night. If she had been threatened to keep her secret in order to protect the group, why didn’t she say something after the group had ended?

“I almost wish I didn’t know.” Lance said after they had lapsed into silence. “That I could keep on living in ignorance. It never mattered who McKenzie’s father was. She didn’t need him. She had all of us. We were more than enough.”

“Kenzi’s just as stubborn as you kids are. She was never going to just leave that question alone. I told Rachel it would happen, that she needed to be prepared.”

“I don’t think anything can prepare you for having to tell your daughter she was born because her mother was raped. How is McKenzie going to take this?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. It’s going to be really hard for her, especially since she seems to have her heart set on JC being her father.”

“What am I going to tell him?” Lance asked. “How am I supposed to tell him? Mom, you should have seen him back then. He was so in love with her. We used to tease him all the time about it, but he would never tell her. If only he had…’

“Don’t you dare place the blame on him.” Diane scolded.

“I’m not. I’m not. It’s just another what if…” Lance blew out a breath. 

“I went to plug in her phone and it started ringing in my hand. It was JC. I was so flustered I hit the button and declined the call. He immediately started texting.”

“I told him I’d have Rachel call him tonight when she got back. He was worried.” Lance told his mother. He could only imagine how scared JC was at the moment. Rachel didn’t call and he’d been dodging JC all night. He wasn’t sure he could speak with him. 

“I sent him a text,” Diane confided in her son. “The text popped up on her screen and I tried not to read it… but he sounded worried.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Just that it was me. Rachel was sleeping and she would talk to him tomorrow.’

“How do I tell them?”

“You don’t.” Diane met Lance’s eyes when he looked at her. “It’s not your place to tell. If Rachel wants JC to know, she’ll tell him. Same with Joey, Chris, and Justin. We just have to be there for her and support her decisions. Be there for McKenzie. It’s going to be rough on them before it gets better.”


	16. Chapter 16

“Where is everyone?” Rachel asked the next morning seeing her mother sitting on the couch. The TV was turned low on The Today Show and she had a book in her lap.

“Took the kids up to Geyser Falls,” Diane turned the book over on her lap.

“But…” she looked at the watch her wrist, seeing it was almost 10. “Why didn’t anyone wake me?”

“We weren’t sure how you’d be today. Stacy and Lance decided take the kids up there for the day. That way if you needed the day to yourself you wouldn’t have to worry about Kenzi.”

“Are you guys gonna treat me like glass now?” Rachel asked.

“No,” Diane shook her head. “Last night was rough on you. Rough for all of us. We just wanted to make sure you were okay. That you could work out everything that’s on your mind.”

“Maybe I just wanted to spend time with my family and have fun and not think about it.” Rachel snapped.

“Then we can gather what we need and get on the road. We’ll be there by noon.” Diane said calmly, not rising to the bait. If her daughter wanted to pick a fight, she wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction.

“I’ve ruined the family vacation,” Rachel sighed, falling into the recliner. 

“No you haven’t. The kids were bouncing off the walls this morning when I was on the phone with Stacy. Lance took donuts over for breakfast. I don’t know who was riding with who, but I imagine there was a lot of Tylenol being passed around.” 

“You didn’t sleep last night.” It wasn’t a question. Rachel could see the dark circles under her mother’s eyes. It had been years since she’d seen them. When she had first moved back home after, there had been a lot of mornings where she’d find her mother in the kitchen pouring another cup of coffee, make up covering the circles before she left for work.

“No.” Diane answered truthfully. “But you can’t expect us to just bounce back this morning like nothing happened. You need to give us time to work through it.”

“I’ve had 14 years and I don’t think I’ve worked through it,” Rachel mumbled. 

“Maybe now you finally can,” Diane said softly. “You’ve finally opened up and told someone. Maybe now you can start healing.”

“You think it’s that easy?”

Diane shrugged, a small frown on her lips. “I don’t know baby. I don’t have the answers when it comes to healing after something like this. I wished I did. I just know that you no longer have to keep this all inside of you. You can talk to any one of us. Not holding it in is going to help you a lot.”

“I don’t know if I want to talk about it. I had nightmares last night. I hadn’t had them in years.”

“Oh sweetie, I wish you would have came to me.”

“I used to have them all the time. Then they came a little less and a little less. Then finally they stopped. I’m afraid it’s gonna be like the beginning all over it. I feel like it just happened. Like 14 years hasn’t passed. That it was just yesterday.”

“Rachel,” Diane’s heart broke at her daughter’s words. She put the book on the coffee table and reached out. From her position on the couch, she could just barely reach her daughter’s knee. 

“It’s not your fault, Mom,” she wiped away a tear from her eye with her fingers. “I should have told you guys a long time ago. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was so scared… I didn’t want to ruin Lance’s career.”

“No career is worth your pain. Lance will be the first to tell you that.” 

“What about his dreams?”

“What about your dreams?” Diane countered. “You sacrificed your dreams for him. For them.”

“How am I supposed to tell JC?”

Diane caught how her daughter associated her dreams with JC. Her heart hurt thinking about what could have been if things had been different. “It’s gonna be hard telling him, I won’t lie to you.” She squeezed her daughter’s knee. 

“I don’t know if I can…” she whispered. She meet her mother’s gaze, made blurry by the tears. “We just found each other again and now… now this. My phone is filled with text messages from him, missed calls, and voicemails. I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know if I can talk to him.”

“You need to talk to him,” Diane said. “Trust me on this. You don’t want to keep it from him. How are you gonna be able to keep it a secret once you tell Kenzi? You’re not going to be able to control it. I know this is hard Rachel, but you don’t want to start a relationship holding secrets. You need to be honest with him.

“I don’t want this to change how he sees me.”

“Rachel,” Diane stood up from the couch and moved to crouch in front of her daughter. “From what you’ve told me, from what I’ve seen in the photos on Facebook, from what Lance has said, that man loves you. This will not change his feelings for you. If it does, then he wasn’t the man you thought he was and it’s better to find out now than years down the road.”

“I’m so scared.” Rachel clutched her mother’s hands. 

“I know Sweetie. I wish I could take this on for you. I wish I could take all the hurt away. I wish I could put that smile back on your face that you had when you first got here. You can do this,” Diane said firmly. “Look at what you did on your own? You raised a beautiful, smart, respectful daughter with a good head on her shoulders. You have 28 books of a best selling series out in the market. You provided how many original pieces for a major hotel in downtown Los Angeles? You overcame what happened to you and won.”

“I don’t feel like I won.”

“I know, but you did. It may not feel like it right now, but you did Sweetie and I am so proud of you. We are all so proud of you.”

Diane stood up slowly, her bones protesting. Rachel followed up and drew her into hug. Diane hugged Rachel tightly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

*~*

JC was growing frustrated as the hours passed and he had yet to hear from Rachel. Not even a text had come through from her. There was nothing. Lance wasn’t much help. He’d only been able to tell him that he couldn’t say anything that it had to come from Rachel. He wanted to jump on a flight to Mississippi but at this point he wasn’t sure if he’d even be welcome. 

McKenzie was still talking to him. He had that going for him at the moment. It had been tough, but he refrained from asking intruding questions about Rachel. He wasn’t going to go through her daughter to find out the answers he so desperately wanted. McKenzie had told him last night she was with Leighton because the adults were having a meeting. He remembered Kenzi telling him she hoped they were trying to decide where they were going on vacation.

The messages he’d received this morning had been different. McKenzie told him they were all going to a water park a couple hours away. Rachel and Diane weren’t going. That had McKenzie worried. He couldn’t help her because he didn’t know what was going on. He wished he was needed at the studio today, then he could put this in the back of his mind and concentrate on something else. There was nothing going on today. He was left with a silent phone, a million questions, and a wandering mind. It was a bad combination.

Maybe he was moving too fast and he had scared her. He wasn’t sure how it was possible. This had been the slowest he had ever moved with a woman. The relationship was 15 years in the making. They were moving so slow they were practically standing still. Maybe he should have withheld his feelings; not have played his hand so soon. He hadn’t come out and actually told her he loved her, but he had dropped many hints. No one had ever invoked the feelings that Rachel did. 

From the very beginning she brought these feelings to him and he had wished he had recognized them for what they were back then. JC never really believed in soulmates or ‘the one’. He figured it was just talk to sell books and movies. Rachel was, without a doubt, his ‘one’. The way he felt for her eclipsed any feelings he had felt for any woman he had ever dated. No one else came close. 

Now she was ignoring him. She was halfway across the country and he couldn’t do a thing about it. He was stuck where he was – sitting in his house staring at his phone, begging it to ring. He could feel her slipping through his fingers again. There was no way he could let that happen. Not again. Not after he knew how good it could be with her.

JC was torn between waiting Rachel out and going to Mississippi. He didn’t want to push her into something she didn’t want to do. On the other hand, he didn’t want her to torpedo their relationship before it had barely gotten off the ground. If he stayed in LA, he could be giving off signals that he didn’t care and that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Deciding that he needed to do something, JC took the stairs two at a time and went into his bedroom. He pulled a duffle bag from his closet and began packing enough clothes for a couple days in Mississippi. He would rather go down fighting. With his bag packed, he sat on his bed with his iPad and started searching for flights. Before he could finalize the purchase of a flight leaving in three hours, his phone rang from its spot next to him on the bed. Glancing at it, he saw Rachel’s name on the screen. He put the iPad to the side and picked up his phone. Taking a deep breath, he tapped the accept button.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Rachel’s voice was soft in his ear. Even with the one word, he could hear the hesitation over the line. He forced himself to relax.

“Hey you. How’s Mississippi?”

“Good.” Rachel fell silent. She sat outside beneath the maple tree. Her mother had offered to sit with her while she talked to JC, but Rachel refused. It was gonna be hard enough as it was. She didn’t want her mother to have to sit through it all over again. She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her free arm around them, resting her forehead on her knee. “Is this a good time? Are you at the studio?”

“No, I wasn’t needed today.” Silence fell over the line again and JC clenched his hand tightly into a fist, releasing it only when he felt his fingernails dig into his palm. There had never been a moment in their entire relationship from when he first met her until now that they had a problem talking. Conversation was never an issue with them. He opened his mouth, but Rachel cut him off.

“I’m sorry I was ignoring you.” Rachel said softly. She lifted her head and ran her fingers through her hair. “I didn’t mean to… I mean I did… I just… I didn’t know what to say to you.”

JC sighed. “What’s going on Rachel? Do you need me to come there? Just tell me and I’ll be right there. I was about ready to head to the airport to fly there.”

“You were?” Rachel asked surprised. A lump rose in her throat. Tears welled in her eyes and she tried breathing through her mouth to ward them off. 

“You have me all twisted up,” he said honestly. “Something is going on. You’re shutting me out and I can’t understand why.”

“I’m sorry JC.” She wiped at her eyes with her fingers.

“Just tell me what’s going on?” JC pleaded, feeling as if a fist was clenching his heart. “If you need me there, just say the word and I’ll be there.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to beg for him to come to Mississippi, but she was able to bite it back. If this didn’t turn out as she hoped, she knew she wouldn’t want to see him. They could end their relationship over the phone. The pain would be easier to deal with that way than having to look him in the face.

“There’s a couple things that I need to tell you,” Rachel began. “I’m just now sure how…”

“Take your time,” JC said softly. He dropped a leg off the side of the bed, his foot catching the frame. With his elbow resting on his thigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just… just don’t shut me out, okay?”

“Stacy informed me that Kenzi has been going behind my back searching for her father.”

There were a lot of scenarios going through his mind from the moment Rachel had disappeared yesterday, but that hadn’t been one of them. Most of the scenarios he imagined had to do with him. Maybe that had been pompous of him. 

“Oh…” JC didn’t know what to say. McKenzie’s father had always been in the back of his head from the moment he had found out Rachel was pregnant. It was something he wanted to know, but he knew he could never bring the topic up. Not at this point in their relationship. 

“She seems to think that it’s you.”

JC’s mind blanked. “What? Wait… what?” His brain was struggling to comprehend what Rachel said. McKenzie thought he was her father? How had she come to that conclusion? 

“I haven’t spoken with her yet, so please don’t mention it if you do.”

“No-no I won’t. But Rachel… how did she come up with me being her father?” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t understand. There’s no way I am her father.” Not that he hadn’t wished it.

“I know JC,” Rachel said softly. “I’m not sure exactly how she came up with it. Stacy only knew what Leighton knew. Old photographs of us, old stories. She went through some of the boxes in the attic and found my sketchbooks…your blood type.”

“My blood type?” He squeaked. He wanted press about the sketchbooks that Rachel had, but his blood type caught him. “She didn’t need my blood type for science homework?”

Rachel shook her head, even though JC couldn’t see her. “She was comparing it against hers.”

JC blew out a breath. “Wow… I don’t… I don’t know what to say.”

“According to Leighton, she’s getting ready to tell you.”

“Oh wow,” JC said. He had no idea how he would have reacted if McKenzie had brought this up. For one he would have been completely blind sided. He thought about the last two weeks he had spent with the teenager and he felt an ache in his heart. “Is that why she’s latched on to me? Talking to me, inviting me to her activities… not caring that we’re seeing each other… is it because she thinks I’m her father?” What would happen to their relationship once she learned the truth? He wasn’t her father. There wasn’t even a possibility that he could be. 

“I don’t know.” 

He rubbed a hand over his chest, trying to heal the ache. Once McKenzie learned the truth, what would happen? Would she still continue to want to talk to him? Would she still want him in the stands are her track meets or in the audience for her piano recital? Would she start turning a cold shoulder to him? Would she pull away from him? If she did that, how would his relationship with Rachel be affected? “I don’t want to hurt her.”

“I know JC.” Rachel felt her heart swell at JC’s words. “I don’t either. But I have to tell her the truth.” She swallowed roughly and pulled her knees tighter to her chest. “I have to tell you the truth.”

JC straightened hearing the change in Rachel’s voice. This, he knew, was going to be what had sent Rachel running and severing communication with everyone yesterday. Right now, he’d give anything to be with Rachel so they’d have more of a connection than a phone line. “I’m not going anywhere,” he told her after a few moments of silence. “Take your time.”

“I told my family who McKenzie’s father was last night. I hadn’t told anyone,” Rachel began. She wiped away more tears and sniffled, wishing she would have thought to grab the box of tissues. “I thought it was one of the toughest things I have ever done. It doesn’t compare to right now and having to tell you.” 

“Hey,” JC said softly. “No. Don’t do that, okay? It’s me okay? You never have to be scared to tell me anything. Rachel…” he broke off before he could say what almost tumbled out of his mouth. Then figured he might as well go for broke. “I love you.” He heard a broken sob in his ear and closed his eyes. 

“That makes it worse…” Rachel voice broke and she buried her head in her knees. She fought the losing battle with her tears even as her heart sang at JC’s words. 

“Rachel,” JC’s voice was soft and gentle; calming. “Come on, you’re killing me here. I can’t do anything and all I want to do is hold you. I’m sorry if that wasn’t what you wanted to hear…”

“Don’t-don’t take it back.” 

“Oh baby, I’m not going to take it back,” JC promised. “Please don’t be afraid to tell me anything. Nothing you can tell me is going to change the way I feel about you, okay?”

“I just don’t want you to hate me.”

“Not possible,” JC said vehemently. He heard Rachel take a shaky breath and braced himself.

“I was raped.”

JC felt the breath whoosh from his body and the blood rush from his face. He was certain if he had been standing, he was have collapsed to the floor. His mouth opened and shut multiple times but he was unable to speak a word. Rachel had rendered him speechless.

“I’m so sorry JC,” Rachel sobbed. Tears streamed down her face, her shoulders shook with each gut wrenching cry that broke through. The pain was worse than the previous night. Her stomach rolled and clenched and she thought she was going to throw up.

JC shook his head at Rachel’s words, trying to chase the emptiness from his head. “No. Don’t apologize. Don’t you ever apologize for that.” He could slowly feel his brain starting to come back online. He wished his heart would sit this one out. “God Rachel, I had no idea. Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“I couldn’t.” Rachel tried to desperately get ahold of herself so she could make it through the conversation. “He said… he said you guys would lose your contract if I told. I couldn’t do that… not after… after everything you guys had just been through.”

JC didn’t think he could hurt more than he already did. He didn’t think he could feel guilty, but he did. “What do you mean? Who told you this? Why would we have lost our contract?”

“Matt Wilson… he said…”

“That son of a bitch,” JC exploded, launching himself off his bed to pace back and forth. “That fucking bastard! Did he threatened you? Is that what he did?”

Rachel listened to JC ranting on the other end of the phone. She had never heard him like this. No matter what had been going on, he never reacted with such manner. At least never in front of her. It could have been different behind closed doors, but what she knew of his personality, she didn’t think that was the case. “JC… please…” she called softly, her voice breaking.

“You didn’t have to protect us.” JC rubbed his face with his free hand, surprised when he felt wet cheeks. He hadn’t even know that he had been crying. “You shouldn’t have protected us, not after what he did to you. God Rachel… you didn’t have to protect us.” He listened to her crying over the phone and realized the conversation should have happened face to face so he could pull her into his arms and never let her go. He could do nothing but listen to her cries, his heart breaking more and more. There was nothing he could do, expect one thing.

“Rachel?” 

“Y-yeah?” 

“I love you.” JC said softly, but firmly, so to leave no question in Rachel’s mind. “More now than I did a few moments ago.”

Rachel sniffed, lifting her head from her knees. She shouldered her phone so she could wipe at her eyes with both hands. At JC’s words, a new set of tears built in her eyes. “Yeah?” She asked in awe.

“Yeah,” JC smiled. 

“JC?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”


	17. Chapter 17

“When are you going to tell McKenzie?” Lance whispered, his head bent toward his sister. They had been in the air for a couple hours now on their way back to California. Spring break was over. Leaving Saturday gave Rachel and McKenzie time to recover on Sunday and get ready for the new school week on Monday. McKenzie had immediately claimed Michael as a seat mate. Their heads were bent together in the seats front of them and every so often he could hear his niece giggling. He had no idea what they were doing. He imagined working through the book of MadLibs again. McKenzie loved how Michael was able to come up with off the wall words. He fell more and more in love with his fiancé every time he was around his niece. He couldn’t wait to marry him. He couldn’t wait to have kids with him.

“I don’t know,” Rachel spoke back, her voice just as soft as her brother’s. She had been able to pull herself together and finish out the week on a high note. McKenzie had questions, she knew, about what was going on but she never voiced them. They kept busy with things to do, finally getting down to the Gulf to spend the day at the beach. McKenzie had ridden with Stacy and her family on the way back, while she was in a vehicle with her parents, Michael, and Lance. Lance drove with their father riding shotgun. That had her and Michael playing rock, paper, scissors for the door. Diane had claimed the other door citing seniority. No one disputed her. Rachel had lost and had to ride in the middle the whole way back. The sun had completely worn them out and she ended up curled against Michael’s side sleeping the whole way back. Michael had eventually dozed as well, his arm around her, his head resting on top of hers. Lance had been quick to show the photos he had taken. Rachel had just been happy she hadn’t drooled.

“Do you want me to be there when you do?”

Rachel reached over and took her brother’s hand, giving it a squeeze. She smiled at him. “No, but thanks. I need to do this on my own.”

“You don’t need to do it on your own anymore,” Lance told her, hating how she still wouldn’t accept help. 

“I know, but I need to do this on my own. I still need to tell Melissa and Joey. I know Kenzi might end up talking to Briahna about it and I want them to be prepared.”

“Let me guess, you don’t want me there for that either?” He sighed when Rachel shook her head. “Just let me know when you’re gonna do it so I know when to expect Joey to call.”

“I really hate how you guys are gonna talk about this,” she told him, turning her head to look out the window. Lance had told her when everyone had returned from the water park, that JC had called him. At first she had been angry at the thought of them talking about her behind her back.

“Hey,” he squeezed her hand and leaned forward, angling his body toward her. “I told you…”

“I know,” she gave him half a smile. “I understand, I hate it, but I understand.”

“You gotta give us some time to work through it as well.” He worked through the denial stage pretty fast. He was stuck on anger and he knew he’d probably be stuck on that stage for awhile. It was the same stage JC was on. When he fielded his phone call at the water park, he had never heard JC so angry before. All he could do was sit back and let JC rant and rave, knowing JC needed to get it off his chest and Lance was the only one who he could talk to. “You gonna tell Chris and Justin?”

Rachel had mulled over that question a lot. She told Lance because he was her brother. She had to tell JC because they were in a relationship. She had to tell Joey because their daughters were best friends. Chris and Justin weren’t close to her. Time and distance effected them the most. She couldn’t wait for Lance’s wedding so she could see Chris. “Can you tell them?”

“Yeah,” Lance squeezed her hand. “I’ll tell them.”

“After I tell her… you’ll be there for her if she needs you right? You and Michael?”

Lance sent her a look. “Come on now, of course we will.”

“I know…” Rachel sighed. “I’m just worried how she’ll react. She already thinks JC is her father… now I’m gonna come along and tell her…”

“Hey, no…” Lance dropped his sister’s hand when he saw the tears well up in her eyes and lifted the seat rest up that was between them. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “We’re not going to talk about that right now. No tears,” he told her. “Let’s change the topic. How about our Christmas vacation and the fact that your butt is gonna be up on skis.”

“Oh my feet will be attached to the skis, but I have a feeling my butt will spend more time on the ground than up,” Rachel said wiping her tears away. Before they left Mississippi, they were all able to sit down and hash out vacation plans. Since it was already late to be scheduling trips, Lance went ahead and booked them at a resort over the two week Christmas vacation. It made December kind of crazy with Lance and Michael’s wedding happening the weekend before they left. 

It was crazy trying to plan a trip with so many people. All together there were seven adults and four kids. They ended up booking two of the largest suites available that were across the hallway from each other. Each held multiple rooms and a large dining area. Adults would pick the rooms and they figured Kenzi and Leighton would pair off in one room and Kellen and Keagan in another. Somewhere in the planning had led the Fatones being invited as well. The girls had been excited when Joey and Melissa had said yes and Briahna would be joining them. Leighton and McKenzie had spent the rest of the night talking back and forth with Briahna planning what they were going to do. Rachel bet it involved very little sleep and a whole lot of giggling. 

“You gonna invite JC?”

The thought crossed her mind as they were planning, especially when they were trying to figure out how many rooms they needed and everyone was paired off except her. “I don’t know…”

“Oh come on. Invite him.” 

“Maybe I don’t want him to see what a terrible skier I’m gonna be.”

“You can always just stay inside by the fire,” he wiggled his eyebrows, laughing when his sister blushed. “Just invite him. You know he loves you.”

“I know.” Rachel smiled. “He told me.”

“What!” Lance sat up straight. He ignored the looks he got from those sitting around him. Even Michael had turned around to look at him. “When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Sometimes I think you’re secretly a girl. You gossip worse than I do.” 

“Shut up.” Lance pushed her shoulder as he rolled his eyes. “Did you tell him or are we gonna have to wait another fifteen years?”

“I told him.”

“Finally.”

“It was really hard to tell him about…” she trailed off and looked out the window. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done it over the phone. I needed to tell him before Kenzi said something though.”

“She could have picked heckuva lot worse. You probably can’t find someone better than JC.” 

“I just hope she feels that way after I tell her. I’m not sure how she’s gonna react.”

“Which is why I want to be there. Come on Rachel,” Lance turned in his seat to look at his sister. “Don’t do this on your own,” he pleaded.

“Okay,” Rachel relented. “Come over tomorrow?”

“I’m there.” 

*~*~*~*

“It feels good to be home,” McKenzie said as she followed her mother through the front door. She dropped her bags inside the door and went to the couch collapsing face down. 

“I need a vacation to recover from our vacation,” Rachel said. She placed her bags next to the stairs intending to carry them up later. One good thing about staying with her parents is she never brought home dirty clothes. Her mother had made sure all their clothes were washed before they left, Lance and Michael’s as well. Laundry was one less thing she had to worry about. Her clothes could go right upstairs and be put away.

“Is it too late to start counting down to our Christmas vacation?”

Rachel laughed as she went through the mail on the counter that her neighbor had gathered for her. “Skiing does sound fun, even though I think I’m gonna be terrible at it.”

“I’ll have to make sure my phone has enough space to take videos of you.” Kenzi pushed herself up into a sitting position on the couch. 

“There will be no recording of any kind, missy,” she said sternly. It was ruined by the twitch in her lips. 

“That rule just for me or for everyone?”

“What do you think?” Rachel asked her daughter, arching one eyebrow. 

“Are you going to invite JC?” 

Rachel paused flipping through the mail at her daughter’s words. “I thought about it. Are you okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?” Kenzi shrugged. “He is your boyfriend right?”

“He is.” Rachel said. “Are you okay with that?”

Kenzi rolled her eyes. “Duh mom. I like JC. He’s cool.”

“He’s cool,” she chuckled.

“Yeah. He’s not a dork. He actually listens to me when I talk and is interested in what I have going on. He’s actually excited to go to my piano recital. He’s been giving me pointers to help with my playing.”

“Really?” Rachel asked surprised. “I didn’t know that.”

“I recorded myself playing when I was at Aunt Stacy’s and sent it to him. I knew he was busy in the studio but he wasn’t mad I sent it to him. He was probably working with people a lot more important than me…” McKenzie shrugged. “But he still responded and we talked for awhile. Made me feel like I was important. That I mattered…”

“Oh Kenzi,” Rachel sniffled. Her eyes welled with tears listening to McKenzie talk about JC. “You are important and you do matter.” She drew her daughter into a hug. 

“Mom?” McKenzie said as the hug broke. 

“Yeah?”

“I know Leighton told.”

Rachel froze feeling her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. This wasn’t supposed to happen now. She was going to sit down and tell McKenzie at her own pace… tomorrow… with Lance present to help. “Told what?” She questioned, trying to deflect.

McKenzie sighed. “Come on Mom.”

Rachel closed her eyes and blew out a breath. “Okay,” she said blinking her eyes open. “I was going to do this tomorrow, but since you’re asking. Let’s go and sit down.”

McKenzie sat back down on the couch. She clasped her hands in her lap. Her stomach was doing flips and she felt sick. She felt a smile grow on her face despite her nervousness. She was finally going to get the answers she’d been seeking. She was finally gonna know who her father was. _‘Well I already know who it is,’_ Kenzi thought. _‘This was just gonna be the confirmation.’_

“Okay,” Rachel breathed again once they were seated. “I wish you would have come to me instead of doing this in secret.”

“Yeah right,” McKenzie rolled her eyes. “You freak out at the mere thought of my father. I couldn’t. I figured I’d figure it out all on my own and when I knew, I’d ask you. Then all you’d have to do was say yes.”

“There is a very good reason I freak out at the mere thought of your father,” Rachel said slowly. “I should have better prepared myself for this day, but I had hoped it would never come.”

“I don’t get the big deal,” McKenzie said loudly. “It’s just my father. Don’t I deserve to know who that is?”

“Yes, yes you do.” Rachel told her, swallowing roughly. “This is very difficult for me to talk about it. I never told anyone for the longest time. In fact, this week was the first time I told anyone. When your Uncle Lance was still doing NSYNC, he lived in Orlando. He did high school through a correspondence class. When I graduated high school in Mississippi, I moved in with him.”

“I know this Mom.” McKenzie said exasperated. “I just want to know who my father is.”

Rachel’s jaw snapped shut. She closed her eyes and took another breath, trying to calm herself. “McKenzie, sweetie, when I was in Orlando, I was raped…” she paused to take another breath. “I was raped and as a result, I got pregnant with you.”

“What?” McKenzie whispered, shaking her head. “That’s not… That’s…” She shook her head again, unable to think of what she wanted to say. “No… I…but JC…”

Rachel reached out putting her hand over her daughter’s. “Kenz, I know how much you wished that JC was your father, but that’s not the case. JC and I were never in a relationship.”

“No,” McKenzie withdrew her hand from her mother’s and stood up. “No. I saw the papers in the attic. There are notebooks filled with drawings of him. You wrote his name over and over. You practiced your signature as if you would marry him. The photos… the photos…your conversation with Melissa.”

“Wh..what conversation with Mel?” Rachel asked slowly. 

“I overheard you talking about JC. You were talking about having… sex with JC.”

Rachel flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry you had to hear that. But Sweetie, JC and I never had sex. We never even kissed. I had a huge crush on him I loved him, yes. But I never told him… I was gonna tell him but…”

“No,” McKenzie shook her head. The denial was building in her head. This simply couldn’t be true. “No. This isn’t true.”

“McKenzie,” Rachel stood up and tried to pull her daughter into a hug. She tore from her arms and Rachel felt her eyes well with tears. 

“You’re lying to me!” McKenzie yelled. “This is a lie. Why are you doing this?”

“McKenzie, I’m not lying to you. I would never lie about something like this,” Rachel said softly, feeling tears roll down her cheeks. “Please calm down.”

“No…” she shook her head again. “This isn’t true. This is not true!” She back away from her mom.

“McKenzie,” Rachel tried reaching for McKenzie but she stayed out of her grasp.

“You ruined it. You ruined everything!” McKenzie exclaimed feeling her own tears start to roll down her cheeks. “JC’s supposed to be my father! It fit! Everything…fit,” she covered her face with her hands, sobbing.

“McKenzie,” Rachel immediately went to her daughter, drawing her into a hug. “I’m so sorry.”

“No!” McKenzie broke from her mother’s arms. She glared at her, angrily wiping away the tears. “Stop it!” She shook her head, backing up. “This isn’t true. You’re lying to me.” She turned around and yanked opening the door, stopping short seeing JC standing there, his hand poised to knock.

“Hi,” JC said with a smile. The smile faded when he saw the tears on McKenzie’s face. “What’s wrong?” He went to reach for her and was shocked when she slapped his hand away. “Kenzi?”

“This is all your fault!” McKenzie shouted at him.

“McKenzie!” Rachel said harshly, taken back by the anger in her daughter’s voice.

“What’s going on?” JC asked looking at McKenzie to Rachel. McKenzie eyes were shiny with unshed tears, but were still blazing with anger. Her cheeks had tear stains. Rachel… the pain shining in her eyes was enough to make his heart stumbled. The tears were streaming down her cheeks.

“This is your fault! If you had just stayed away. Just left me alone. None of this would have happened.”

JC didn’t know how to respond or what to even think. He had no idea what was going on. It crossed his mind to leave, but he dismissed it just as quickly. He couldn’t leave, not with something of this magnitude happening. 

“McKenzie! You stop this right now. This is not JC’s fault.”

“Yes it is! If he had just stayed away. None of this would have happened. I wouldn’t…” she felt a lump rise in her throat. “I wouldn’t…” her voiced cracked and she released a sob. Arms grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. She struggled against them, but they just tightened around her. She fought harder, but she couldn’t get away. The arms wouldn’t release her. “Let me go.”

“No,” JC whispered, tightening his hold against her struggles. 

“Why couldn’t you stay away?” McKenzie cried, her struggles lessening. 

“Because I love you,” JC said softly. The hands that had been pushing him away gripped his t-shirt in an attempt to hold on to him. Her forehead pressed against his chest as she sobbed. He simply held on tight and let her cry.


	18. Chapter 18

“Let’s sit down,” JC said quietly as the cries died down. This was the last thing he had expected to walk in on. He expected to spend a couple hours getting the play by play of their Mississippi vacation from McKenzie. Then when she went to bed, spend a couple hours with Rachel. He wasn’t sure what he needed, but after her phone call on Tuesday, he knew he needed her in his arms. He could figured everything else out after he had that accomplished.

He herded McKenzie and her mother into the living room after kicking the front door closed with his foot. He nearly had a heart attack when the door had been thrown open before he had been able to knock. It scared him to death to think what McKenzie had been planning when she opened that door. His being on the other side of the door thwarted whatever she wanted to do. There was only one conversation he could think of that would cause this much emotional outburst and he was surprised Rachel had decided to have it so quickly upon getting home.

“Kenzi,” Rachel said softly sitting on the coffee table in front of her daughter. 

“I don’t want to talk about this,” McKenzie sitting back, causing her mother’s hands to fall away. She saw the pain flash across her mother’s face and she felt bad. “Can I just go to my room now?”

“Kenz…” JC started. 

“Yeah,” Rachel said, speaking over JC. She watched as McKenzie shot off the couch and left the room like the hounds from Hell were nipping at her heels. With her elbows resting on her knees, she buried her face in her hands.

“Come here,” JC pulled Rachel from the coffee table to the sit on the couch next to him. He drew her in his arms as the tears started again. “Shhh…” he whispered tightening her arms. His hands caressed her back, moving up and down.

“I knew this would happen…” she covered her mouth with her hand and turned her head into JC’s chest as her cries worsened.

JC continued to shush her, each cry putting a chip in his heart. Tuesday he wished he had been in Mississippi. Being there, being able to hold Rachel would have made it better than listening over the phone. He would have been able to hold her and comfort her through the tears. Now, listening to her cries and holding her in his arms, he realized it wasn’t true. It pained him either way. “Tell me what you need? What can I do?”

“Nothing. Nothing you can do.” 

JC closed his eyes at her words and held her tighter. He pressed a kiss into her hair. “I’m not going anywhere. I told you, I love you. Nothing you told me on the phone changes that. Nothing that just happened here changes that. I love you.”

Rachel lifted her head to look at JC. She palmed his cheek, feeling the scratchiness of the stubble on his unshaven cheek. New tears filled her eyes when he tucked his chin, placing a kiss on her palm. “I love you.” 

JC ducked his head, kissing her softly. The kiss was tender and sweet. When it ended, he pulled her more snuggly into his side. She laid her head back down on his chest and he leaned his head against hers. “What happened?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“I was gonna tell her tomorrow. Had it planned. Lance was gonna come over. He didn’t want me to tell her on my own… lot of good that did.”

“How’d she find out?” He’d been holding his breath since Tuesday. Every time he talked to McKenzie, he thought she would bring it up. He wasn’t sure how to handle it if she had mentioned him being her father. It still twisted his insides when he thought about it. It brought back a lot of feelings and memories from back when he first found out Rachel was pregnant and when he first met the tiny infant. There had been plenty of times he had wished McKenzie had been his.

“She confronted me. I guess that’s the wrong word. She knew I knew what she’d been doing. Leighton apparently told her.”

“So you had to tell her.” 

“If you had been 10 minutes faster the whole thing might have been avoided. But she probably would have confronted us both.”

“I wish I would have been here.” He placed another kiss to Rachel’s hair. If he had been here, he could have helped lessen the blow. If that was even possible to do.

“She got angry… more so over the fact that you weren’t her father. She accused me of lying… I couldn’t get through to her. She just shut me out.”

“Exactly why Lance didn’t want you to be alone when you told her.”

“I didn’t plan it that way. I told you, she caught me off guard. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to hold on until I could call Lance and he was here?”

“Whoa…” JC leaned back against the sarcasm dripping from Rachel’s words. 

“Sorry,” she laid her head back on his chest, closing her eyes. “I’m sorry. It’s just… been a really really bad week.”

“I know,” JC shifted in the seat to pull her more securely to his side. “I’m sorry. I know you were looking forward to this trip back home.”

“There was this cloud over everything we did. It was always there.”

“Maybe, but it still looked like you had a good time from the photos I saw. Though I’m not sure if I liked seeing you cuddled up next to Michael. Actually I know I didn’t like it.”

“Lance couldn’t wait to send that to you huh?” Rachel laughed softly. “Don’t worry, you’re a lot comfier than Michael.” She snuggled closer to him to prove her point. “A lot more.”

JC tightened his arms and kissed the top of her head. When she lifted her head, he dropped a kiss to her lips. “How are you doing? Really?”

“Not gonna lie JC, I’ve been better. I wish this week was over, but even then… Kenzi isn’t going to magically be better. I still have to tell Joey and Mel. I haven’t even really talked to Kenzi about it. Once she calms down, she’s gonna have questions. I just… feel like I’m reliving it every single time I have to talk about it. Like it just happened instead of fourteen years ago. I dream…” She broke off when her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears again. “It’s in my dreams and I wake up thinking he’s in the room with me.”

“No no,” JC spoke and held her tighter to him as if he could ward off the bad thoughts by holding her tighter. A fist squeezed his heart at Rachel’s words. He hated the fact that she was being violated all over again. He hated the fact that there was nothing he could do. It was the worst feeling he had ever felt.

*~*~*~*

Kenzi walked quietly down the stairs. All the lights were on even in the late hour. It had been quiet for awhile. The low rumble of conversation had stopped a couple hours ago. She was certain she hadn’t heard a door shut or a car start in the driveway. That meant JC was still in the house. She peeked her head into the living room. On first glance she didn’t see anyone. A few steps forward allowed her to see over the couch. Her mother and JC were laying on the couch. JC on his side on the inside of the couch. Rachel faced him, her head pillowed on his arm. 

The scene almost made her turn around and start turning off the lights, cover her mother and JC with the blanket that was tossed over the recliner, and head back upstairs to bed. Almost. She slowly backed out of the room, careful not to make a sound. The voices in her head were loud. They were drowning out her ability to think. The roaring hadn’t stopped from the moment her mother told her she was raped. She was raped and McKenzie was the result. 

McKenzie had stayed in her room and stared at the sketchbook she had taken from the box in the attic. The pages were filled with drawings of the *NSYNC members, but mostly of JC. She stared at the page where her mother had signed her name Rachel Chasez; her fingers tracing over the lines that formed the letters. She had been so sure that JC was her father. The longer she stared at what she had been sure was all the proof she needed, the louder the voices got. 

Her father was a rapist. The DNA that coursed through her was evil. She was part of a person who could hurt a woman in the worst way. She hated the feeling of knowing what was a part of her; how it made her feel. How did it make her mother feel to have the constant reminder of the worst night of her life in front of her all the time? That’s what she was. A reminder of that horrible night. She wasn’t made out of her love. She was made out of something vile and disgusting. 

The words grew louder and louder. She had to get away. She had to escape. McKenzie reached for the door turning the knob slowly in her hand. When it was open wide enough she slipped quietly through the opening. Once she was outside, she paused and turned an ear back inside. It was silent. With the knob still turned in her hand, she slowly pulled the door shut until it rested on the jam. Then she turned the knob again, releasing the latch. With one final look toward the door, she spun on her heel and took off running down the sidewalk.

*~*~*~*

Rachel shifted in her sleep, a shiver going through her. She was cold. Reaching out, she searched for the blanket she must had pushed away in her sleep, but couldn’t find it. Instead she was met with a warm body. Her mind rushed a mile a minute as she tried to figure out who and where. She froze when the body she laid with shifted and arms tightened around her. 

“Relax,” a voice whispered in her ear. The voice was rough with sleep. “It’s me.”

“JC,” she breathed and let her body relax. She snuggled closer against him. “We fell asleep.”

“We did,” JC answered. He let his cheek rest against her head, when she shifted closer to him, tucking her face into his neck. His arm tingled from where she laid on it. He bent it and cupped the back of her head, stroking down her hair. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Exhausted, but okay.” She answered honestly. She didn’t remember falling asleep; didn’t know how they even ended up laying down on the couch. Opening her eyes, she saw the house still lit up. Lifting her left hand, she looked at her watch and groaned seeing the early morning hour.

“What time is it?”

“Two.” She dipped her hand beneath JC’s arm and wound it up his back. She yawned and snuggled back against him.

It was JC’s turn to groan hearing the time. He didn’t mean to fall asleep. Now he had over an hour drive back to his house in the middle of the night. “I’m gonna need a huge cup of coffee tomorrow.”

“I’ve been living on coffee this whole week.” She thought back over the previous hours. She didn’t know what time she had fallen asleep. It hadn’t been that late in the night. There had been no dreams. She hadn’t dreamed of that night once and she wondered if it had to do with being with JC, wrapped up in his arms. “Please stay?” The words came out so softly, she wasn’t sure JC even heard them.

“Stay? Are you sure?” JC questioned surprised.

“Yeah. It’s late and it’s a long drive back to your place. You’re tired and you shouldn’t be driving anyway. Plus, I’m not done snuggling with you and letting you hold me.”

“You convinced me.” He pressed a kiss to her head. “I wasn’t done holding you or snuggling with you yet either.”

Rachel pushed herself up off the couch, immediately feeling the loss. She raised her arms above her head and stretched. When hands touched her waist, she jumped. Her eyes meet JC’s laughing blue ones. She placed her hands on his waist and leaned forward, kissing him softly. “I love you,” she said when they parted.

JC leaned down and kissed her again. “I love you too. Why don’t you go check on Kenzi and I’ll shut off the lights and lock up?”

“Okay,” she kissed him once more before moving away to heard toward the stairs. “I’ll meet you up there.” She hit the switch on the wall at the bottom of the stairs turning the light on in the upstairs hallway. As she made her way up the stairs, she heard the lock click in the door and smiled. She never had someone to help lock up before heading to bed together. She felt giddy and couldn’t wait to crawl in her bed and curl up with JC.

McKenzie’s door was shut and she opened it slowly, hoping the light from the hallway wouldn’t disturb her daughter. When the light illuminated McKenzie’s room, Rachel frowned. There was no lump in her daughter’s bed. In fact it hadn’t even been disturbed. Her heart started beating faster and she reached out flipping the light on. The bed was still empty. “McKenzie?” Rachel called, entering the room. She ran her hand over the bedspread for a reason she could not understand. It was obviously empty. 

She quickly checked the closest, thinking her daughter may have, for some reason, curled up on the floor and had fallen asleep, but it was empty. McKenzie was not in her room. She quickly backed out of the room and walked swiftly to the bathroom. The door was open and the light was off. She turned the light on. It was empty. The shower curtain was closed and she yanked it open. The tub was empty. 

“McKenzie?” Rachel called a little louder in the hallway. There was no answer. She went down the hall and checked the spare bedroom, but it was empty as well. McKenzie wasn’t curled up in the closet or laying on the bed. She was beginning to freak out. When she exited the room she meet JC coming up the stairs.

“What’s wrong?” JC asked quickly, seeing the growing panic on Rachel’s face.

“I can’t find McKenzie. She’s not in her room.”

“Calm down,” JC said, squeezing her hands. “We’ll find her. She probably hid somewhere and fell asleep. I didn’t see her downstairs, but I wasn’t looking, just snapped off the lights. I’ll go look down there and you look up here.”

Rachel quickly went down the hall to her bedroom while JC turned around and went back downstairs. “McKenzie?” She called, turning the light on in her bedroom. Her bed was undisturbed. She looked in the walk in closet, moving her clothes around, but there was nothing. It was empty. Just like her bathroom. Now she was getting scared. “McKenzie?” She said louder. “This isn’t funny. Come out now!” 

She searched every nook and cranny she could think of trying to find McKenzie. She looked under the beds and in linen closets. Back in McKenzie’s room she saw the sketchbook and photo albums on the end of the bed that she hadn’t paid attention to the first time around. She didn’t need to open them to know what they were. She quickly ran from the room and to the door next to the bathroom that led up to the attic. She pulled the door open and snapped on the light, rushing up the stairs, nearly falling. “McKenzie!” She called and looked around the room. McKenzie wasn’t there. “McKenzie!” 

Closing the door to the attic she once again met JC in the hallway. The downstairs was illuminated behind him. Before he even opened his mouth, she knew. 

McKenzie was gone.


	19. Chapter 19

McKenzie hadn’t realized how far away Briahna lived from her by foot. It didn’t take long to get to her house by car. She ran as far as she could until she slowed to a walk. The night was scary and she constantly looked over her shoulder afraid. It was almost enough to send her back home. Almost. She couldn’t go back home. She couldn’t be in the house. 

When Leighton had told her about telling Stacy, McKenzie had been mad at her cousin. Leighton had been sworn to secrecy and she blabbed. Her cousin pleaded with her not to be mad, that her mother had her ways of making her talk. McKenzie knew all about that too. Her mother was the same way. Her grandma probably had the same Jedi mind trick. She had just passed it down. Thinking about it, she was glad Leighton had told. It made it so she didn’t have to. She was nervous bringing up the subject because she knew her mother didn’t like talking about it. She had to know though. She had to know who her father was.

JC.

Tears welled in her eyes and McKenzie brushed them away angrily. Nothing would come from crying. JC was not her father. No amount of tears would make it so. She had so many daydreams about what it would be like with JC as her father. Her baby book would be completely filled out with his information. The school paperwork would be updated. Her name… 

She collapsed against the wall outside the Fatone house. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them as she bowed her head and cried. She had been no better than her mother, practicing writing what her name would be. McKenzie Chasez over and over again. In the mirror on the back of her bedroom door, she would stare in to it with a smile on her face and practice introducing herself. “Hello, my name is McKenzie Chasez.”

McKenzie had imagined bringing home boyfriends and introducing them to her parents. _“This is my mom, Rachel, and my dad, JC.”_ She imagined JC teaching her how to drive when she got her permit. It made her laugh thinking about the argument her parents would get in to as they bickered over who got to teach her. JC would win in the end because her mom was a terrible driver. There would be photos of them together at all her events because he’d be at every single one. He would cheer the loudest. 

There would be family vacations in the summer. They’d go to the movies together to see the latest horror films because her mom was a sissy and didn’t like those movies. JC would be there to greet her after she would graduate high school; after college graduation. He would be there to walk her down the aisle when she got married. And now…

The dreams were all gone. JC wasn’t her father. There was no chance he could be her father. According to her mother, there had never been a relationship between the two of them. _‘I was gonna tell him and then…’_

Then she was raped. Her mother didn’t get the opportunity to tell JC how she felt because some man raped her. Some man raped her and McKenzie was the result. McKenzie cried harder. She was the constant reminder of what had happened. Every time her mother looked at her, she probably saw her father and what he had done to her. 

Lights flickered on and the sound of gears squeaking caused McKenzie to look up. Next to her, the gate to the Fatone driveway opened up. 

“McKenzie?” Melissa called frantically. She looked to the left, her eyes peering out into the darkness. The neighborhood was dark with only the glow from their security lights. There was nothing. When she looked to her right, her heart leaped into her throat seeing the teenager leaning against the wall. “Oh Kenzi!” She exclaimed and gave a sigh of relief as she quickly moved to the girl. She sat down beside her and drew her into her arms. “You gave your mother a heart attack! Who in turn gave me a heart attack! What on earth possessed you to run away?”

“Did you know?” McKenzie lifted her head and stared at her mother’s best friend. “Did you know my father raped my mother?”

Melissa’s breath caught hearing McKenzie’s words. Pain ripped through her. “Oh Kenzi…” she whispered and hugged the girl tighter. A shadow caught her attention and she looked over her shoulder seeing Joey and Briahna standing at the gate opening. Even in the limited light, she could see their pale faces. They had heard McKenzie’s questions. She turned her attention back to McKenzie, trying to shush her cries. “It’s gonna be okay, Sweetie.”

“No it’s not,” McKenzie cried. “How can it be okay? My father raped my mother. How will anything ever be okay?”

Melissa’s heart hurt and she wanted to get in her car and go and see her friend. The pain Rachel must be in… Right now, though, she was needed right here. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it will be okay. You’re just in shock right now.” McKenzie wasn’t the only one. Rachel was raped. Her friend was raped and never told her. 

“My mom didn’t want me,” McKenzie whispered.

“Did she tell you that?” Melissa felt McKenzie shake her head. “Then how do you know she didn’t want you?”

“Would you want a baby knowing how it came about?” McKenzie countered. 

“You can’t just ask someone that question, Kenz,” Melissa said softly. She watched as the girl scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Listen, you can’t put yourself in a position like your mom was in. No one can honestly tell you what they would do. They may say they would do one thing or another, but until it happens to them and they are faced with making that decision, they truly don’t know. What they think they would do in that situation could end up being completely different when they actually have to make that choice.”

“I wouldn’t keep it,” McKenzie said, wiping her eyes. “Carrying a baby knowing how it got there… then having to look at it every day. Remembering that night over and over and over again.”

“So you can kill a baby?” Melissa asked.

McKenzie opened her mouth to respond with a yes, but paused. Could she kill a baby? She thought about when Kellan was born and she had gone to the hospital with her mom to see him. He was so tiny in her arms. She remembered going to the nursery to see the other babies who had been born. They were so tiny and content, laying in their bassinets swaddled in hospital issued blankets with tiny hats covering their heads.

“It’s not so easy is it?” Melissa said softly. “I used to think I had it all figured out. Back when I was in high school. I knew what I was gonna do when faced with any situation. I knew I wouldn’t find myself in a lot of situations. Life just laughed at me and I found myself in situations I didn’t think I would ever be in.”

“Like what?” McKenzie sniffled.

“Being pregnant and not married. Growing up I always saw myself dating the guy I was gonna marry, getting married. We’d settle in to married life, working, saving money until we could buy a house. We’d enjoy each other first before even think about having kids. You know Joey and I met in high school. We didn’t know what life was going to be like for us. Neither one of us could have even dreamed up *NSYNC. We were enjoying ourselves. Our lives were crazy. Living on a tour bus. Going from this city to that city all over the country and around the world. If it wasn’t touring, it was studio time, interviews, and appearances. It was a lot different being a celebrity back then, than it is now. There was no social media, barely even an Internet.”

“Mom told me the stories.”

“Right, so you know a little about how crazy their lives were. Joey and I weren’t even engaged and I wound up pregnant with Briahna.”

“What did you do?”

“Freaked out. Cried.” Melissa laughed at the memory. “Hid at my parents for a few days. By this time, Rachel, my best friend in the whole wide world had up and left. She shut us all out her life. I couldn’t even go to her. I was scared out of my mind to tell Joey. How could I have let this happen? I swore I would never wind up pregnant without being married first.”

“Then what happened?”

“I finally had to ‘man up’ and tell Joey. Joey was freaked out too. Our lives weren’t conducive to having a baby. The baby wasn’t going anywhere. I was pregnant and in seven months, we were going to be parents. We had a lot of decisions to make. A lot of changes had to be made especially since two months after Briahna was born, there was another tour. Joey would be gone for four months. Would we tag along with him? Would my parents watch Briahna? His parents? You get hit with situations that life throws at you and you just do the best you can.”

“Why didn’t she tell me before now?”

Melissa shrugged. “I don’t know Sweetie. She never told me. I’m sure she has her reasons. I may not like them, but they are her reasons. It’s not an easy subject to broach. There are a lot of emotions that arise with rape. Maybe she didn’t know how to even tell you. Maybe she didn’t want that act to cast a shadow over your life.”

“I really wanted JC to be my father,” McKenzie said, the tears welling up in her eyes again and falling down her cheek.

“It takes more than someone’s DNA flowing through your body to make someone a father,” Melissa pointed out. “Any man can make a baby, not every man can be a father. Do you know that JC was adopted?”

McKenzie turned wide eyes on Melissa. “He was?”

Melissa nodded. “He was adopted when he was really young, around five. Maybe you should ask him about it. About his biological parents and his adoptive parents.”

“What do I even say to mom now?” McKenzie laid her head on Melissa’s shoulder.

“She’s still the same person she was before you found this out. Your relationship with Rachel doesn’t have to change. I would suggest talking to her though. Don’t run away.”

*~*

Rachel paced back and forth in the living room looking at the clock seemingly every second. Time had apparently decided to stand still. Every time she looked, it was still the same time. McKenzie was on her way home after staying the night at Melissa’s. It had taken everything she had to make herself stay home and not rush to Melissa’s house and snatch her daughter. She had collapsed in relief when Joey had called and told her McKenzie was with them. It was Joey who talked her in to letting McKenzie stay there and deal with whatever was going on the next day. 

She hesitantly agreed. It didn’t mean she was able to sleep. What was left of the night had been spent tossing and turning. Her nightmares had also made a reappearance. Even laying with JC in her bed hadn’t warded the nightmares off. They were more twisted than the previous ones in Mississippi. This time McKenzie and JC were in them. She didn’t wake up thinking Matt was in the room with her. She woke up thinking McKenzie and JC were both gone, unable to stay with her knowing the truth.

JC hadn’t wanted to leave. She wasn’t sure if he should stay. McKenzie hadn’t been receptive of him last night. She wasn’t sure what would happen today. JC being present could make McKenzie shut down and not want to talk. JC being there could make McKenzie more emotional. She didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. So she made the decision to send JC away before McKenzie showed up. 

A car door sounded and she drew up short, glancing at the clock on the wall. She drew in a breath and let it out slowly. Her stomach was twisted in knots. She felt sick to her stomach. She hadn’t even been able to drink the coffee JC had made before he left. It sat on the end table next to the couch. Cold. The front door opened and she whirled around. McKenzie stood there staring at her. Melissa behind her.

Rachel could see McKenzie’s eyes were red and swollen signaling she had spent a better part of the night crying. She could relate because she had too. “Kenz…”

“Mom,” McKenzie’s voice cracked and tears filled her eyes again. She quickly crossed the room and collapsed into her mother’s arms.

“Shhh,” Rachel whispered holding McKenzie tight as she cried. “Shh,” she said again, feeling tears roll down her own cheeks. She looked up and met Melissa’s eyes. One look and Rachel knew that Melissa knew. 

Melissa walked forward and reached out clasping her arm over Rachel’s forearm. She gave it a comforting squeeze. “We’ll talk later okay?” 

Rachel nodded. “Thanks,” she told her friend. Thanks for understanding and thanks for taking care of McKenzie. Melissa left and she continued to comfort her daughter through her tears. 

“I’m sorry Mom,” McKenzie said through her tears. She lifted her head to look at her mother.

“Shh, come on now,” Rachel lifted her hands and wiped her daughter’s tears with her fingers. “Let’s sit down.”

“Is JC still here?” McKenzie asked as she took a seat in the middle of the couch. She already knew the answer the question. His vehicle hadn’t been parked outside when Melissa pulled up. It had been the first thing she looked for. She couldn’t describe how she felt not seeing it. A part of her was glad he was gone. Yet there was a part of her upset he wasn’t there.

Rachel shook her head. “No. I sent him home so we could talk.” She watched her daughter’s expression trying to read her reaction. “If you want, I can ask him to come back.”

“No,” McKenzie shook her head and sighed. “I don’t know.”

“How about we just talk. You and me. If you want JC to come back, I’ll call him, okay?” Rachel continued at McKenzie’s nod. “I was going to talk to you today about everything. Lance was going to come over and be here…”

“Uncle Lance knows?” McKenzie broke in.

Rachel nodded. “I told everyone on Tuesday. That’s why you stayed over at Aunt Stacy’s. Before then, no one else knew. No one.”

“Grandma and Grandpa didn’t know?”

Rachel shook her head. “No. I didn’t tell anyone. Not even Lance.”

“This is why you freak out when it comes up?” 

“Yes. But I’ll answer any questions you have. I know it’s not fair to you to not know.”

McKenzie crossed her arms, resting them on her knees. “What if I don’t want to know?”

“That’s your choice, Sweetie.” Rachel placed a hand on McKenzie’s back, rubbing back and forth. “If you don’t want to know anything, I won’t tell you.”

“Can I change my mind later?”

“Of course. This isn’t a one day only sale.”

McKenzie snorted. “I just… I don’t know…”

“I know it’s a lot to take in. I’m sorry.”

McKenzie met her mother’s gaze. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault. It’s his.”

“I should have told you sooner.”

“I don’t think it would have made it easier.”

“Yeah, but then you wouldn’t have gotten your hopes up about JC,” Rachel pointed out.

“Can you tell me about you and JC?”

“What do you want to know?”

“You guys were really never together?” McKenzie sighed when her mother shook her head. “Why not?”

“There’s probably not really a good reason. Looking back, I would do a lot of things different. I really liked him, but I was too scared to tell him. To ask him out. We had such a close friendship, I didn’t want to ruin that.”

“But all the photos? The sketches, the signature.” 

Rachel smiled. “I really liked him Kenz. It’s what we did growing up. I must have practiced signing my name as if I had married dozens of different men. Sometimes it was kids in my class, kids I went to school with, celebrities on TV. It’s what we did. We signed our names, we played MASH where we figured out who we would marry, how many kids we would have, and what type of house we’d live in. My diaries are probably still at Grandma and Grandpa’s house in boxes and they’d tell you about every boy I’ve ever had a crush on. JC was no different, I just didn’t write in a diary then. I tried keeping a journal, but I was too afraid Joey or Chris would steal it and read it to everyone. I just drew… a lot. I’d draw photos of everyone to try and hide the fact that I really wanted to draw JC.”

“Did they know?”

“They knew. Everyone tried to get us together, JC and I just… could never make a move.”

“I ruined it, didn’t I?”

“Sweetie, it’s not your fault. You were the only innocent party in all this.” Rachel wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and hugged her. “JC and I had plenty of opportunities to tell each other how we felt, but we didn’t. That’s on us. Not on you.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone what happened?”

“Fear. Embarrassment. Shock that it even happened. Denial that it happened. Disgust. I was in a bad place afterward,” Rachel told her daughter honestly. “I was embarrassed that it happened. Scared that no one what believe me. Scared what people would think…”

“But Uncle Lance wouldn’t think bad about you,” McKenzie interrupted. 

“Traumatic events can screw with your brain Sweetie. I hope and pray that you never have to find that out. I also didn’t tell people because the man who did this, he threatened your Uncle Lance and the rest of the group. They were on top of the world at the time. Their new CD had just come out and blew away records. They had a huge tour coming up.”

“How did he threatened Uncle Lance?” McKenzie asked softly.

“He was going to take it all away from them. I couldn’t let him do that. The guys were so happy. This was what they had worked so hard for.”

“So you kept quiet?”

Rachel nodded. “I’m sure the threats were all lies. But I couldn’t take the chance. I couldn’t take the risk of saying something and having everything crumble around them.”

“But couldn’t they have helped you? *NSYNC had to have a lot of money at the time. They could have helped you.”

“It’s always easier to look back on things and see what you should have done or what you could have done. I can look back and make up a list of a hundred things I could have done differently. I could have stayed in Mississippi after graduation instead of moving in with Lance.”

“But then you wouldn’t have known JC… not really. You could have told JC how you felt.”

“It could still have happened even if JC and I had been together.” Rachel took McKenzie’s hand in hers. “You can’t get lost in what ifs or the should coulda wouldas. Trust me. I know.”

“I just keep thinking on what could have been done so it wouldn’t have happened.”

“Then I wouldn’t have you.” Rachel’s lips wobbled as she tried to smile at McKenzie. “McKenzie, I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world.”

“But don’t I remind you of what happened?”

“Sometimes,” Rachel told her daughter honestly. “It’s not something I’m ever going to forget. There are a lot of days I don’t think about it at all. There are days where it’s all I can think about.”

“Is it the reason you never really dated anyone?”

Rachel eyes widened at the question. She hadn’t expected McKenzie to ask something of that nature. “I don’t know Kenz. Maybe. I never really found anyone who I really wanted to be with. That’s really why I didn’t stay in relationships.”

“Is that because of what happened or because of JC?”

“Maybe a little of both.”

“Did you ever talk with anyone about this?”

Rachel shook her head. “No Sweetie. I never told a soul.”

“What if I want to talk to someone…”

“Then I’ll find someone immediately if that’s what you want.”

“Can I go lay down now?”

“Yeah,” Rachel hugged her daughter again, before allowing her to stand. “Oh, wait,” she held out her hand. “Phone.” She said when McKenzie stared at her.

“Mom,” McKenzie groaned.

“Nope.” Rachel shook her head and wiggled her fingers in a gimme motion. “I’m gonna be lenient and you only lose it for a week…”

“A week!” McKenzie exclaimed as she withdrew her phone from her pocket. “That’s not lenient!”

“You’re lucky it’s only for a week,” Rachel closed her fingers around McKenzie’s phone. “You scared me half to death McKenzie. I went upstairs to check on you and you were gone. We tore this house apart looking for you. Do you have any idea how that made me feel to realize you were gone?”

“I’m sorry,” McKenzie mumbled, looking down at the floor. “I just had to get away. I couldn’t turn my head off.”

“That’s no reason to run away.” Rachel chided. “You should have come to me. You should have talked to me.”

“I couldn’t,” McKenzie turned her watery eyes on her mother. “I couldn’t face you.”

Rachel’s heart broke. “Then I could have called Lance to come and get you or JC could have taken you to Lance’s or Melissa’s.”

“I couldn’t face him either.” McKenzie mumbled before turning and walking away.


	20. Chapter 20

“You guys don’t have to knock you know,” Lance said after he opened the door to his house seeing JC and Joey on the other side. “Don’t know how many times I have told you this.”

“I don’t want to walk in while you’re playing hide the cannoli on the couch.” Joey grinned as he walked across the threshold and entered Lance’s house.

“Amazes me after so many years, Joey is still the same.” JC said with a smile as he shook his head.

“The same?” Lance questioned, shutting the door after his friends and followed them into the kitchen. “I think he’s gotten worse.”

“I don’t see you every day. So I gotta save up all the jokes and vulgar comments until I do see you.” Joey opened the fridge and started rifling through its contents.

“You won’t walk in my house but you’ll help yourself to my food?”

“Well yeah,” Joey said as he grabbed a plate that had a small the remains of what looked like turkey that had already been picked off the bone. He pulled back the plastic cling wrap and picked up a piece, popping it into his mouth.

“Aren’t you housebroken yet?” JC asked, watching Joey. 

“Mel has tried many times.”

“She should be canonized as a saint to put up with your ass for as long as she has.”

“What can I say?” Joey grinned. “She loves my cannoli.” His grin widened when his friends groaned. 

“I take it Rachel told you?” Lance asked, reaching across the counter and grabbing a piece of turkey. He and Michael had a Thanksgiving craving yesterday. He tried to get his sister and his niece to join, but they had declined. 

“Had to hear it from Kenzi first,” Joey looked at Lance. “I’ve never been so caught off guard as I was when I heard her ask Mel if she knew. Jesus,” he shook his head. “I’m so glad she asked her and not me. I don’t even know how I would have responded. We spent a lot of time yesterday answering Briahna’s questions. Let me tell you, that wasn’t easy at all.”

“I bet not,” Lance said looking down at the counter as he crossed his arms on it. “Stacy had to explain it to Leighton too. She said it was one of the hardest things she’s ever had to do because she couldn’t answer a lot of questions. Like why.”

“After dropping Kenzi off at school, Rachel came over and told us the whole story.” Joey shook his head, as if in disbelief. If he was honest with himself, he still was. “I still can’t believe it. Matt man…”

“Yeah.”

“I’d like to meet him in a dark alley with a baseball bat.” 

Lance nodded in agreement. “You’d have to stand in line. I get first crack.”

“How are you in all this?” Joey asked, looking at JC who had been quiet so far.

“Why would I feel any different than you?” JC asked, brushing off the question.

“Right,” Joey rolled his eyes. “Come on C, everyone knew how you felt about her.”

“I made a promise to myself that I was gonna tell her before the No Strings tour started.” JC met the eyes of two of the men he considered to be his best friends. He saw the sympathy in them and looked away. He didn’t want sympathy. It wasn’t him who had been hurt. 

“Fuck,” Lance closed his eyes not knowing how close JC had been to revealing his feelings to his sister.

“Since she told me, I keep thinking about the times I could have told her. If I had, then maybe it wouldn’t have happened. I could have saved her somehow.” 

“That is the worst possible thing for you to do.” Joey said firmly. “You can’t know if that would have made any difference.”

“Don’t I?” JC questioned. “If I had told her, maybe she wouldn’t have been there. She would have been with me and it wouldn’t have happened.”

“If I had sent her back to Mississippi instead of letting her live with me, it wouldn’t happened either.”

“If wishes were fishes and all that jazz,” Joey broke in. “Sitting here thinking about if we’d done something different isn’t going to change the fact that it still happened. Rachel was raped by a man we all considered a friend. We need to deal with that. Let me tell you, she’s not doing to well. Kenzi either.”

“I don’t even know what to do,” Lance sighed staring down at his hands, picking at his fingernails. “I always wanted to know who McKenzie’s father was. It was the great big mystery in the family. The kind that was whispered about at family gatherings. Of course that didn’t compare to the whisperings and looks from people in town. They all thought Dad should have made Rachel get married.”

“To who?” Joey asked, crossing his arms on the counter.

“To you,” Lance said, chuckling slightly seeing Joey’s eyes widen. “Or JC. Or Chris. Or Justin. People figured it had to be one of you guys.”

JC didn’t want to think about what Rachel went through back in Mississippi. He heard the stories from Lance about what had happened when he had come out. He could only imagine how it would have been for Rachel to be back in town, pregnant and unwed. His heart hurt thinking of all the mean and unkind words that would have been spoken. All the unwanted advice that would have been given. It hurt worse thinking of people tell Rachel that she should marry the man who put her in that position knowing what that person did. How it must have hurt her to hear that. 

Looking back he realized that he would have married her. He would have married her and taken care of her. Would have let everyone think McKenzie was his. No one had to know the truth. He could have slipped away from the tour on one of their off days and gone to see her in Mississippi. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t talking to him. It would have been a lot harder to shut him out when he was standing in front her and not some correspondence behind a computer screen. He could have let her know his feelings. Maybe she would have told him the truth then. They could have had a quick wedding on another day he could slip away or waited until December when the tour ended. They could have been married before McKenzie was born in January.

“Does he even know?” 

Lance met Joey’s eyes and shrugged. “I don’t know. I would think he’d know considering what he did and when McKenzie was born.” He shrugged again. “Rachel said she hasn’t seen him since she left Orlando after…”

“So it’s possible he doesn’t know.”

“Why does it even matter if he knows or not?” JC asked.

“When I punch someone’s face in, I kind of like them to know why they are being punched,” Joey said seriously. “He shouldn’t be too hard to find. He was with Jive. They are now RCA…”

“Justin’s with RCA,” Lance broke in. “You don’t think he works with Justin do you? I gotta tell him. I don’t even know how. Or Chris. Rachel wants me to tell them. It’s the least I can do.”

“Don’t look up Matt.”

“What?” Joey asked, staring at JC. “Why?”

“Because that’s not going to help Rachel. Or Kenzi. What if Matt doesn’t know? He finds out and comes after Rachel? He takes her to court and gets visitation rights or even custody?”

Joey and Lance fell silent as they thought about JC’s words. Matt could very well come after Rachel for custody of McKenzie. The court system could be sympathetic to him and see him as a man who didn’t know he had a child and side in his favor. It wouldn’t matter what the monster did to her. Would the court even believe Rachel? It would be a he said/she said case. No matter the outcome, Rachel and McKenzie wouldn’t win. They would suffer.

“This whole thing just pisses me off,” Joey pushed up from the counter and paced back and forth. “This happened right under our noses and we didn’t have a clue until it was too late and even then we had no fucking idea.”

“I know.”

“Then that fucking asshole manipulated her with us. And Rachel man… she just let him.”

“Hey! Don’t you dare make any of this Rachel’s fault.” JC snapped.

“I’m not,” Joey sighed, pressing his hands into his face. He sighed again as he dropped them. “I’m not. He used me – used us – to cover up his crime. I would have walked. If that was the price of fame, I would have walked away.”

Lance and JC could only nod their heads. They would have walked too.

*~*

“I hate that you had to live with this by yourself.” Melissa passed a tissue to Rachel then blew her nose in her own tissue. “You could have told me.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Oh the hell you couldn’t,” Melissa shouted, using another tissue to wipe her eyes. “You could have told me. I wouldn’t have told anyone. You would have at least had someone to talk to.”

“It’s easy to think of all the things I could have done differently,” Rachel said softly. “It wasn’t so easy at the time.”

“I know,” Melissa sighed. “I just wish you didn’t have to go through it alone. You kept everything inside. You had no one to talk to. That hurts me to think about.”

“It’s the same thing I told Stacy. You were pregnant as well. How could I tell you what I was feeling inside when you were happily expecting a baby?”

“I wasn’t happily expecting a baby the whole time. I was scared shitless when I found out. I needed my best friend and you were gone.”

“I’m sorry,” Rachel whispered, feeling tears well up in her eyes. “I was in a bad place.”

“I could have been there for you. I could have helped you. We could have helped each other.”

“I wasn’t looking for help Mel. I was looking for it all to go away. I wanted to wish it all away and go back to before it all happened. I wanted to be back in Orlando with you, with Lance, with JC…”

“It just makes me so angry!” Melissa exploded, pounding the couch cushion. “I want to find that little weasel and rip his dick off. Fuck, I’d like to string him from the ceiling fan by it. Put his dick in a tank of piranhas and let them just bite the fucking thing off.”

“Mel…”

“You’ve had fourteen years to get used to this, you’re gonna have to let me work out my anger.”

“You think I’m used to this? That I’ve worked through this?” Rachel stared at her friend. “Seeing the word father in Kenzi’s notebook for science homework sent me into a quivering mess in my bedroom. Do you know what it takes for me to get through any paperwork of Kenzi’s when it asks for father information? Do you know I haven’t been able to sleep this whole week because talking about what happened as made my nightmares come back?”

“Rachel…” The anger immediately faded. She wrapped her arm around Rachel’s shoulder and leaned in to her. “I’m sorry. Jesus I’m so sorry. You know I love you.” She sniffled. “I wish I could do something to make this all better. I hate it,” her voice quivered. “I hate this. I hate what happened to you. I hate how you felt you couldn’t tell anyone. I hate that you were all alone that you couldn’t talk to anyone. I just hate it. I hate it.”

“There are so many things I wish I would have done,” Rachel said honestly. She let her head rest against Melissa’s. “I can’t let myself think like that… I can’t get caught up in that. What’s happened has happened. I need to keep moving forward…”

“How are you and JC?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “Maybe it would be best if we just take a break… I need to be there for Kenzi. I need to help her work through this.”

Melissa was shaking her head before Rachel even finished talking. “Who’s gonna help you work through this?”

“I don’t need anyone.”

“Fucking liar.” Melissa said bluntly. “You think you can do everything alone… correction. You think you have to do everything alone. I’m telling you. You don’t have to. You are not alone. Not anymore.”

“This is just too much to ask him to take on. He didn’t ask for this. He probably thought we were normal. Instead we have enough baggage to sink the Titanic.”

“Who the hell is normal? Who wants normal? Normal is boring. Why is your first instinct to kick JC to the curb? You say you love him…”

“I do love him!”

“Then stop trying show him the door. You’re not doing yourself any favors. JC either. Take what he’s offering you. Jesus, take it and hold on as tight as you can. What did he tell you after you told him?”

“That he loved me.” Rachel said softly, wiping a tear away.

“Then he showed up on your door step when you got home.”

“Yeah.”

“He held you while you cried. Held you while you slept. He was doing what a man is supposed to do for the woman he loves. Let him do this for you. Let him be strong for you. Let him shoulder some of the weight.”

“But he shouldn’t have to.”

“That’s the best thing about being in love. You don’t have to. You want to.”

The ringing of Rachel’s cell phone interrupted the conversation and Rachel pulled it from the back pocket of her jeans. She tensed seeing the school’s name. 

“What?” Melissa asked.

“It’s the school,” Rachel told her as she tapped the answer button, lifting the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Mom,” Kenzi’s tearful voice hit her ear.

“Kenzi, sweetie! What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I want to come home.” She leaned her elbows on the counter in the school office. She kept them close together with her head bowed, embarrassed to be crying. Not only were there two secretaries in front of her, but there were two student helpers who were there instead of sitting in study hall. “Please.”

“Of course,” Rachel immediately stood. “I’ll be there in about ten minutes okay? Can you put Mrs. Turner on the phone so I can let her know I’m coming to sign you out?”

“Don’t tell her!” McKenzie gasped. 

“Kenz, I’m just going to tell her I’m coming to get you. That’s all.” Rachel explained. She gave Melissa a wave as she left the house, her phone still to her ear. “I’m leaving Mel’s right now, okay? I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” 

“Okay,” Kenzi told her mother goodbye and placed the phone back on the receiver. She lifted the books from the counter and walked out of the office and headed toward her locker. At her locker she quickly entered the combination and pulled the door open. Sniffling she crouched down and pulled her track bag from the bottom where she had stuff it that morning. Once that was out, she began putting her books in her book bag. She still had a lot of classes left in the day and wasn’t sure what homework she’d have – if any. Briahna would be able to let her know 

As she slammed her locker closed the bell sounded. McKenzie shouldered her bags and quickly made her way back to the office, keeping her head down so she wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. Back in the office, she took a seat in one of the chairs and waited for her mom to show up. 

Fifteen minutes later, Rachel was walking through the office door. Catching sight of her daughter, she immediately went to her. “Kenzi?” 

“Can we go?” McKenzie whispered, her eyes full of tears.

“Sure, sweetie,” Rachel told her. “Grab your things.” She turned back to the counter and smiled as Mrs. Turner met her at the counter. “Hello.”

“Hello Ms. Bass,” Mrs. Turner smiled at the younger woman as she handed her the sign out sheet. “How are you?”

“Doing okay,” Rachel told said with a small, forced smile. Okay was the furthest from how she was. She wrote her daughter’s name on the sheet, noted the time, and then scrawled her signature. 

“Good to hear,” Mrs. Turner said with a smile as she took the clipboard. “I hope you feel better McKenzie. I’ll have your teachers gather homework you missed and give it to Briahna Fatone.”

“Thank you.” McKenzie said softly.

“Thank you,” Rachel said with a smile. She took her daughter’s track bag. “Come on Sweetie,” she shouldered the bag and followed McKenzie from the office.

“I’m sorry Mom,” McKenzie said she climbed into the front seat.

“Don’t apologize.” Rachel told her as she started the car and backed from the parking spot. “It’s my fault. I should have kept you home today.” The drive home turned silent save for the radio in the background. Once they got home, she helped McKenzie take her bags in. “McKenzie…”

“Can I just go to my room?”

“You can’t just hide in your room.” Rachel told her daughter. She sighed when McKenzie wouldn’t look at her. “Please talk to me Kenzi. Let me help you.”

“I don’t know what to say. How can I talk if I don’t know what to say?”

“Just say anything. It doesn’t even have to make sense. Just talk until it does. Don’t keep it in. Trust me, keeping it in is not the answer. I did it for fourteen years. It doesn’t help.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Rachel took a step closer to McKenzie. “You’re not going to hurt me, Kenzi. I know this is really tough on you and I’m sorry. I wish I had told her a lot sooner. On my own terms. I wish I had discussed it with others first so I would have been better prepared. But I didn’t. I just kept it all inside hoping it would go away. Hoping you would never ask. I know this is my fault. I didn’t handle this as well as I should have and I’m sorry.”

“There are some moments where I hate you,” McKenzie whispered, unable to make eye contact with her mother. She heard the sharp intake of breath and felt the pain in her heart. “Everything was going so good. After the move out here… we were finally settled in. It doesn’t feel that way anymore. It feels like I was pushed out of an airplane and I’m tumbling through the sky. I either don’t have a parachute or I can’t grab the cord to launch it. Everything I thought I knew… I don’t. I know it’s not right to feel that way. But I can’t help it. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t.” Her voice wavered and the tears fell.

“McKenzie, Sweetie,” Rachel wrapped her daughter in her arms and pulled her in to a tight hug. “It’s okay to feel this way. You can feel anyway you want okay? Just don’t shut me out. Okay? Don’t shut me out. I love you.”

“How can you love me?” McKenzie said against her mom’s shoulder. 

“Because you’re my daughter. You’re part of me,” Rachel whispered, sniffling. “It was a rough pregnancy for me considering… I didn’t think I could love you. But when the nurse placed you in my arms… everything just fell away. I started crying, holding you so tightly to my chest.” 

“But how? Knowing how I was made?”

“It’s not something anyone can really explain. Mothers can explain and keep explaining, but until you become one, you really don’t understand. It’s a mother’s love. I held you in my arms, looking down at you through the tears and you were just perfect. You were this beautiful innocent little girl God gifted me. You became everything I didn’t know I needed.”


	21. Chapter 21

On Wednesday afternoon, JC pulled in to the parking lot of a high school located in Thousand Oaks. He could hear the cheers coming from the field without even exiting his vehicle. He missed the start of McKenzie’s meet. He hadn’t been sure if he was going to attend or not. McKenzie hadn’t talked to him since Saturday. Every message he sent went unanswered. She was reading them, just not answering.

While Rachel wasn’t ignoring him (they talked every day), she kept putting off him coming to visit or taking them out to dinner. He had asked every night this week and even for the rest of the week. There had been an excuse each time. He hated the feeling of being shut out. All he wanted was to be there for Rachel and McKenzie. He couldn’t do that in West Hollywood. The phone wasn’t the same as being there in person.

JC hadn’t thought about not attending McKenzie’s track meet for very long. Supporting McKenzie was what he needed to do. He knew the week had been rough for her and it was only Wednesday. Rachel had told him she had come home early on Monday and stayed home Tuesday. She had only gone to school today so she could participate in the track meet. JC knew from previous conversations, McKenzie was trying to qualify for the district meets and eventually state. 

He grabbed a ball cap from the passenger seat and put it on his head, lowering the bill. It didn’t provide much anonymity, but it hoped it would curb a lot of people from coming up to him. After paying the fee at the gate, he made his way to the stands and had the task of trying to find Rachel among the crowd. He stood at the top of the stands and scanned the crowd. There, about six rows up from the bottom, he spotted a group of people. He recognized Briahna and Kloey immediately. In the same row as the kids, were Joey and Melissa. Sitting in the row behind them - Rachel, Lance, and Michael. 

“Hey man!” Lance called as he saw JC making his way to them from the end of the row.

“Hey!” Joey called as he looked over his shoulder. “What’s up with the incognito look?”

“Apparently nothing since you guys are here,” JC said with a chuckled as he slapped Joey’s hand and Lance’s in hello. He waved hello to Michael and sat down on the bench next to Rachel. “Did I miss her?”

Rachel stared at JC a few seconds longer without speaking, not believing he had shown up. “No,” she said, threading her arm through his. “She’s getting ready though.” She raised her free arm and pointed where McKenzie was stretching. “I like the hat.”

JC grinned and fixed the hat on his head after Rachel had grabbed the bill and given it a little shake. It was light blue with McKenzie’s school mascot on the front. He had purchased it last week to wear to her track meets. It was the first opportunity he had to wear it. “I didn’t get the shirt memo.” Everyone wore a school shirt. It was light blue – the same as his hat – with the large Spartan in the center with the name of the school writing in a circle around the mascot. Even Caleb wore one. 

“We’ll have to get you one,” Melissa said as she leaned down to pick up a toy car Caleb had run off the bench between her feet. He was sitting in between the rows in front of them, turned around to play with his match box cars on the bench. He had no interest on what was going on in front of him. Melissa was just happy he wasn’t throwing a fit – yet.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Rachel said softly and leaned shoulder to shoulder with him.

“Of course I’d be here,” JC answered, deciding not to tell her how he hesitated on the decision. All that mattered was he was there. He reached across his body and patted her hand that held his upper arm from where it was tucked. “Glad I didn’t miss any of her events.”

“Oh, they are starting!” Melissa reached around and patted Rachel’s knee. 

“I can see that,” Rachel laughed at her friend’s enthusiasm and turned her attention to where McKenzie was on the track. She was doing last minute stretches before they were called to the line. 

“What event is this?” JC asked as the race started and the girls took off running.

“1600 meter,” Rachel told him, not taking her eyes off her daughter. “I have the schedule in my pocket… Come on Kenzi…” she said as she watched McKenzie pass a runner. “That’s it,” she coached. McKenzie had settled in, keeping pace with the girls in front of her. It was four laps around the track for this race. It was a big mistake burst out of the gate right from the start. Runners who did that usually faded on the final lap.

“Go Kenzi!” Lance yelled as the runners ran in front of the stands. He yelled and cheered loudly when his niece came by along with everyone else in the group.

“Go Ken-e!” Caleb yelled and clapped his hands, mimicking what everyone else was doing.

“If you ever see me out there doing that, you better fall in line behind my ass because you know something’s coming,” Melissa stated.

“When she first wanted to do track and field, I assumed it was more along the field events. Long jump, high jump, shot put. Then she tells me she’s doing hurdles and all I can think is my God, she can fall up the stairs and now she wants to run and jump over things. On purpose! The first time I watched her do the hurdles, I missed it because I had my hands over my face the whole time.”

“Did she fall?” JC asked, squeezing her hand.

“She doesn’t know. She didn’t watch it,” Joey looked back at them with a teasing grin.

“No she didn’t, but she found out she’d rather run without objects in the way.” As she talked, she kept her eyes trained on McKenzie, never losing sight of her. “Now the distances keep getting longer. If it wasn’t for volleyball, I wouldn’t be surprised if she signed up for cross country.”

“Hard to plop a lawn chair down at a start finish line for that.” Lance laughed.

“I’ll follow her in my car.” Rachel said, causing the adults to laugh. “In a couple of years, she’ll have decisions to make. I know she wants to do marching band, but she also wants to do volleyball.”

“They don’t have any of that at Sisters of Saint Joseph’s,” Joey teased.

“I can’t wait for Briahna to bring home the boy you used to be.” Lance said with a laugh.

“Used to be?” JC added laughing. 

“You guys are funny. It’s not gonna be Briahna you have to worry about,” Rachel rested her elbow on her knee, her fingers tips at her mouth as McKenzie crossed the line to start the final lap. Her fingers tightened in JC’s arm. “While you guys are all worried about Briahna, Kloey’s gonna go unnoticed until she brings home Mr. Worst Nightmare.”

“The fuck you say.” Joey gave Rachel a look over his shoulder.

“Fuck!” Caleb yelled with glee. 

“No!” Melissa snapped. She shook her finger at Caleb. “You don’t say that.” She turned her finger to Joey and wagged it in his face. “You don’t say that either!”

“Let’s go Kenzi!” Rachel yelled as she watched the runners on the back stretch heading in to turn three. She could see McKenzie picking up the pace. “That’s it Baby!” She yelled when McKenzie passed a runner. “Come on, Kenz!”

There were a handful of runners close together as they came through the final turn. The group jumped to their feet yelling loudly for McKenzie. 

“Come on Kenzi!” Rachel yelled, clapping her hands together. 

“Go McKenzie!” JC yelled, his eyes glued to the teenager. “Come on, come on, come on,” he chanted. 

“Go go go!” Lance yelled.

“Go Kenzi!” Rachel yelled and then gasped when McKenzie’s feet got tangled with another girl’s. They both stumbled and went to the ground. The other runners continuing on. “Oh no!” She held her hands to her mouth, watching, waiting for McKenzie to get back up. It took everything she had to stay where she was and not run down to the track. She breathed a sigh of relief when McKenzie pushed back to her feet, but not before pounding the track with a fist. The stands cheered the girls on as they both ran to the finish line completing the race. “Damnit,” she sighed as she sat back down.

“Damnit,” Caleb happily said as he crashed two of his cars together.

“Sorry Mel.” Rachel stared at McKenzie, watching as she first spoke with the girl who had fallen with her, then got swallowed up by her track coach. She wasn’t sure what was being said, but she could tell McKenzie didn’t want to hear it just by her body language. It broke her heart when she saw McKenzie hastily wiping at her cheeks. “I knew this was a bad idea…”

“She can’t hide in her room forever,” Melissa stated. 

“I know.”

“She needs to get back in her routines. That’s what’s going to help her.”

“I know, doesn’t make it any easier though.” 

JC took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. He wished there was something he could do to help not only McKenzie but Rachel as well. He could see how much it was wearing on her. There was nothing he could do. Though he wished he was able to go back in time and send his fist through Matt’s face the first time the man had laid his eyes on Rachel. That brought him back to another problem. If he stopped Matt from raping Rachel, there would be no McKenzie. As he stared down at the girl, sitting by herself, her knees drawn up and her head down, he couldn’t imagine her as anything other than exactly who she was.

“You think about therapy?” Lance asked, looking at Rachel. “Having her be able to talk to someone.”

“Only every moment she’s shut up in her room,” Rachel said honestly. “But she said she doesn’t want to talk to anyone. And she does talk to me. So it’s not like she’s not talking to anyone…she spoke with Mom yesterday. I just don’t know…”

“She just needs time,” Joey shifted in his seat, so he could look back at Rachel. “Why don’t you let her come over Friday and spent the night. We’ll see what trouble we can get in to.”

“I don’t know,” Rachel said. It sounded like a good idea. “She doesn’t want to do anything with anyone. Me. JC. Even Lance and Michael. We’ve all tried.”

“Well, ask and see,” Melissa said. “And then don’t give her the option to say no. I’ll just kidnap her on Friday after school.”

The rest of the track meet didn’t fair well for McKenzie. In the 800 meter run she came in fifth. In the 3200 meter, she was never a contender. Crossing the line well after the winner did. When the final race had been run and the event was over, Rachel left the group to walk where the coaches had gathered the kids for the bus ride back to the school. She signed the necessary paperwork to bring McKenzie home with her.

“It will be okay, McKenzie,” Rachel said as they walked away. “This was just an off day for you. The next track meet…”

“I’m not going,” McKenzie snapped. 

“What?” Rachel asked taken back. 

“I said I’m not going to the next track meet. I’m done. I quit.” 

Rachel watched as McKenzie stalked off in front of her. She closed her eyes and sighed. It was going to be a long night. She followed McKenzie where she had found the group. She watched as Lance pulled her in to a hug. McKenzie never raised her arms to return the embrace. 

“You were doing an awesome job in the first race,” Lance was saying as Rachel walked up.

“Yeah, you were gonna blow by them all. We could see it.” Michael broke in. “Your feet got tangled. It happens.”

“Yeah,” McKenzie muttered, moving away from her uncle.

“You’ll sprint right on by them on Monday,” JC said with a smile, referring to her next track meet. It was already on his calendar, as were the others to close out the school year.

“I’m not going.”

That brought JC up short. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m quitting.”

“You can’t quit just because you had a bad day,” Lance said. 

“Yeah Kenz,” JC spoke. “This was just a bad day. You just brush it off.”

“Why do you care?” McKenzie glared at JC. 

JC blinked, caught off guard at the question. “I care because I know how much you love running and I don’t want you to quit because you had one bad day.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” She felt a pain in her chest when she saw a look cross JC’s face. She wanted to apologize immediately. But she didn’t know how. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do. “I wish you would back off and leave me alone.”

“McKenzie!” Rachel scolded her daughter. “Apologize right now.” 

“No,” JC shook his head. “She doesn’t have to. I don’t want to cause anymore problems. If she doesn’t want me to be at her meets, that’s okay.” There was a strong hand gripping his heart, squeezing it tightly. He thought he had been doing the right thing; reaching out to McKenzie, going to her events to show support. Maybe what he needed to do was step back. Maybe that would allow McKenzie to work through all this. He kissed Rachel on the cheek. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“But…” Rachel said as she watched him walk away feeling as if her heart had been broken into pieces. She was thankful her sunglasses hid her eyes which were filling with tears. “Get in the car.”

McKenzie put her head down and walked to her mom’s vehicle. She opened the back seat and tossed her bags across them to the other side before climbing in. She hadn’t expected JC to just walk away. She expected him to stay. Like he did on Sunday. He told her he couldn’t say away because he loved her. But he just walked away. After finding out who she was – what she came from – did he stop loving her?

*~*

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Rachel said after JC answered the phone. 

“How are you doing? How’s Kenzi?” JC stood from the piano bench where he had been playing before Rachel’s phone call. He had been hoping she wouldn’t call. He didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t want to tell her what he knew he should say.

“Shut up in her room from the moment we got home.” Rachel pulled the throw blanket tighter around her. She sat in the corner of the couch with her legs tucked beneath her. The TV was on a Friends rerun; the volume muted. “I tried to get her to talk, but she ignored me.”

“I’m sorry,” JC apologized.

“It’s not your fault.”

“I shouldn’t have shown up today.”

“No JC, you should have been there.”

“McKenzie did not want me there. She made that quite clear.”

“She did want you there.” Rachel insisted. “There’s just so much going on in her head right now. I know how she feels.”

“I wish there was something I could do.” JC climbed the stairs to the second level of his house. The second story of his house sat level with the road behind him. The front of his house sat on the hill side. All three levels stared out over the canyon and down to the houses on the lower side, following the winding road down until it reached the busy road of Sunset. 

“I know the feeling.” Rachel said softly. “Now I know how my mom felt. I feel like I should call and apologize. I was a million times worse though. I was so bad, they came close to kicking me out.”

That caused JC to pause. He couldn’t imagine Jim and Diane kicking anyone out of their house let alone their child. “No.”

“Yeah. Daddy actually told me to get out. He was so hell bent on getting me to marry the person who got me pregnant…. Both he and mom thought it was one of you guys. The town did too. There were so many whispers. There are still whispers about me in town even after all this time.”

“I hate that you have to go through that.”

“I’m used to it.” 

“You shouldn’t have to be used to it.” He felt anger at what she had to endure when she was pregnant. He knew it was a nuance of a small town in the south, but that still didn’t mean he couldn’t be angry. “Did your parents kick you out? Lance didn’t say…”

“No. When Daddy told me to get out… I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I told them that and then I realized how true it really was. I was seven months pregnant. I wasn’t married. I didn’t even have a job. I needed them. A lot more than they needed me. I was still an emotional wreck. Angry. Depressed. Scared. Sad. I just learned not to snap at them. After all it wasn’t their fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault either.” JC cut in. “It wasn’t your fault.” He repeated for emphasis. 

“I know that maybe 99% of the time. It’s that one percent that I still stumble over. Maybe I always will.” She sighed. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe you should take her to talk to someone.”

“I’m thinking that might be a good idea, especially after today. I keep thinking it will get better, but I don’t know. I don’t think it is. But it’s only been four days. Maybe I’m expecting too much. She is only thirteen. Maybe I’m expecting her to handle it like an adult.”

“I’m an adult and there are moments where I’m not handling it very well.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. This is not your fault. Not what happened and not how I’m handling it or how anyone else is handling it. We will all get through this.”

“I’m glad you answered,” Rachel said after a few moments went by in silence. She wished he was sitting on the couch with her, holding her in his arms, chasing away the chill she had in her body despite the warm California temperatures outside. “I wasn’t sure what to think when you walked away earlier. It felt as if you were almost saying goodbye.” 

The silence on the phone was deafening. Rachel felt like the walls were closing in on her. There was a roaring in her ears. A pit opened up in her stomach and her heart teetering, ready to fall into the abyss. “Oh…” There was a lump in her throat making it hard for her to breath. Tears filled her eyes. She breathed through her mouth trying to hide the sniffles. 

“Rachel…”

“Why did you let me babble on like this like everything was okay?” Rachel said quickly talking over him. She clenched her eyes shut and the tears slid free, rolling down her cheeks. “You should have told me…” She tilted the phone away from her mouth as she cupped her hand over it, pushing back the sob that wanted to burst free. 

“Rachel please don’t…” JC could hear the tears in her voice and he felt like the world’s biggest asshole for causing her tears after she had already cried so many in the last week.

“No...” Rachel said into the phone. She coughed to clear her throat. “No it’s okay. I understand. I was going to… but Mel said… and I thought… it’s okay. I… it’s for the best, yeah? I got so much going on… so many issues… you don’t need that. Guess that stupid 19 year old girl had more of the reigns than I thought. This is fine… yeah… I’ll be okay. It will be okay… It’s better this way. Yeah… Bye JC.” 

“Wait…” JC said loudly, but it was too late. The phone beeped in his ear. Rachel was gone. “God damnit!” His hand tightened around his phone and it took everything he had not to throw it across the room, smashing it into the wall.


	22. Chapter 22

“Mom?” McKenzie called after she had stepped in to the kitchen. Her mother sat at the kitchen table, a coffee cup wrapped in her hands in front of her. A notebook sat off to the side. She had made no move to acknowledge McKenzie. McKenzie wasn’t even sure her mother knew she was even in the room. “Mom?” She called again.

“What?” Rachel jumped and blinked. She raised her head and saw McKenzie standing next to her. “You scared me.”

“Are you okay?” McKenzie asked worried. Her mother was still in the same clothes she had changed in to when they had gotten home from her track meet. Her eyes were red rimmed. There was mascara and eye liner smudged on her face signaling she hadn’t washed her make up off before going to bed. She frowned.

“I’m okay.” Rachel forced a smile for her daughter. She lifted the coffee mug and took a drink. The coffee had long since cooled, signaling how long she had been sitting at the table. “Are you ready to go? Did you have breakfast? I can cook you something.”

“No time to cook anything. It’s almost time to go.” McKenzie made no move to grab the banana off the counter like she had planned do when she walked into the kitchen. 

“Oh,” Rachel stared down at the watch on her wrist. “I didn’t realize…I’ll be ready to go in a few minutes.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” McKenzie asked her mother again. “You look like you got in a fight with the eyeliner and lost.”

“Oh!” Rachel raised a hand to her face, stopping herself from touching her eye. “I must have forgot to wash my face before I went to bed. I must look a fright.” She couldn’t bring herself to laugh or even smile. There had been no sleep last night. Not after the phone call with JC. There had been a lot of tears and sobs curled up in the corner of the couch. The throw pillow was probably stained with her makeup. She used it to try to muffle the noise.

McKenzie stared at her mother. Something was going on. As she opened her mouth to ask another question, Rachel left the room. She snapped her mouth shut and stared at the open doorway for a moment before going to grab a banana. Reaching for her mother’s coffee cup, she discovered the liquid was cold. She grimaced and dumped the contents down the drain. Sitting the cup in the sink, she grabbed a travel mug from the cupboard and filled it with fresh coffee from the pot. Steam rose from the cup before she snapped the lid in place. Moving back to the table she pulled the notebook to her and flipped the cover. It was empty. She frowned again. 

“That’s for you,” Rachel said as she came back into the kitchen. She wore a pair of black leggings and a plain white t-shirt and a black cardigan. Her face was freshly washed and free of make up and tear stains. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She was certain she looked better than she had a few moments ago. She certainly didn’t feel better.

McKenzie frowned. “I don’t need any for school?” She wondered if she had mentioned she needed a new notebook and had forgotten. Mentally she ran through all her classes but her notebooks were all still good. They would probably last through the end of the school year. 

“It’s not for school.” Rachel picked up the travel mug and took a sip. The coffee burned her tongue and she blew into the tiny slit.

“What’s it for?” 

“I had this idea last night. I used to write a lot when I was pregnant with you. I couldn’t talk to anyone. A notebook was the only thing I could talk to. I must have filled six of those one subject notebooks by the time you were born.”

“What did you write?”

“Anything that was in my head. What I was feeling. What I wanted to say to people but couldn’t. Anything that came to my head, I wrote it down. There were a lot of voices in there. A lot of thoughts and feelings. I couldn’t make sense of it all. I just wrote everything down.”

“Where are they?”

“I burned them.”

“Why?” McKenzie stared at her mother. “Why would you burn your journals?”

“Because I didn’t want anyone to read them. Definitely not your grandparents. At times they weren’t happy and uplifting. Sometimes they were dark and scary. But it was what was in my head.”

“Why are you giving me this?”

“You said you had so much going on up in your head and you couldn’t figure it out. This way, you can write it down. Anything you want. It doesn’t have to make sense. A lot of my writings didn’t. But I was able to get it out and on to paper,” Rachel explained. “I’m hoping, having a place to write it down, without fear of being judged, you can hash out the information and make peace with it. Figure out how it’s going to affect you moving forward. You can always talk to me. Whenever you need me. Maybe by writing it down, it will help you be able to organize your thoughts so you can talk to me.”

“Will you read it?” McKenzie asked, eyeballing the notebook.

Rachel shook her head. “Absolutely not. This is yours. I would never read it. I will only read it if you bring it to me and ask me to.” She watched her daughter staring down at the notebook. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I’m not going to make you. I just thought it might be something to help. I think it might be good for you to talk to someone. I’m going to make a few phone calls today.”

“Like a shrink?” McKenzie’s head snapped up.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“I don’t want to talk to some stranger.”

“It might help you to talk to someone who isn’t affected by what happened. Everyone you know is affected. Grandma and Grandpa. Stacy. Lance. Joey. Mel.” Rachel explained. “If you talk to this person, they won’t have their own emotions clouding any advice they give you.”

“You never went to talk to someone after what happened.”

“No,” Rachel sighed. “Maybe if I had, we wouldn’t be where we are right now.” _‘Maybe I would have been able to hold on to JC for more than a couple of weeks.’_ The pain in her chest was sharp and fierce at the thought. “I would have been able to broach the subject before now. I might have been able to handle it all differently. I could have been better equipped to help you through this.”

There was something prickling at the back of McKenzie’s mind. She couldn’t put a finger on it. When it hit her, she looked back at her mother. “You didn’t mention JC.”

“What?” Rachel whispered.

McKenzie caught the wave of pain that crossed her mother’s face and she felt a hand squeeze her heart. “When you said everyone I know is affected, so I can’t talk to them. You mentioned every adult except JC. Why?”

“I must have forgot,” Rachel waved her daughter off. “Come on. It’s time to go.”

McKenzie watched as her mom left the kitchen. She pulled the notebook toward her and lifted it from the table. Maybe she would give it a try. At the door she grabbed her book bag and track bag.

The ride to school was quiet. The radio played in the background on a single station. Usually her mom was constantly scanning the stations searching for songs to listen to. This time, it stayed on the same country station. McKenzie stared out the window trying to figure out what was going on. Something was going on with her mom. She wasn’t ready to go this morning, her appearance was haggard. She had a full cup of cold coffee at the kitchen table signaling she’d been sitting there for a long time. She hadn’t mentioned JC when he was a name she had mentioned a lot to her in the past week as someone she could talk to if McKenzie hadn’t wanted to talk to her.

At her locker she was still thinking about the conversation in the kitchen when she saw Briahna walking down the hallway. “Hey!” The smile on her face faltered when her best friend didn’t smile back. “Are you okay?” She hated not having a phone. She couldn’t text Briahna at all. Her punishment was until Sunday. At least she hoped. She hoped she got it back Sunday and didn’t have to wait through Sunday.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Briahna said and glanced down the hallway to her locker. “I need to get my stuff.”

McKenzie frowned as Briahna walked away. She stared after her wondering what was going on. It almost seemed like her best friend was mad at her. How could that be? She hadn’t done anything to her. Maybe something had happened and she didn’t know because she was without her phone. 

It was still plaguing her at lunch time. Briahna didn’t seek her out in line to stand with her like she normally does. McKenzie had sat down at their table alone, scanning the cafeteria in search of her friend. When she finally spotted Briahna sitting at another table with a group of people, she frowned. It hurt. Briahna never sat anywhere but with her. Usually they had a lot of people at their table. People switched out depending, but she and Briahna were always constant. Now Briahna was eating at another table.

Briahna ignored her the rest of the day. Even in the classes they shared in the afternoon. McKenzie hadn’t been able to talk to her until school was over. Briahna would head out to where Melissa was waiting in the parking lot. McKenzie would head to the girls locker room to get ready for track. She had twenty minutes from the final bell until she had to be down on the track. 

“Briahna, wait!” McKenzie called and quickly shut her locker when she saw her friend walking down the hall. 

“I gotta go,” Briahna told her. “My mom is waiting.”

“Then I’ll walk with you.”

“Coach will make you run laps if you’re late.”

“I don’t care.” McKenzie said. “I want to know what’s wrong? You won’t talk to me. You didn’t sit with me at lunch.”

“I can sit with other friends at lunch.”

“But we always sit together.” McKenzie whispered. “Are you mad at me? What did I do?”

“You’re acting like a jerk.”

McKenzie blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Ever since you found out about your father, you’ve been acting like a jerk and no one is allowed to say anything because they don’t want to upset you.” Briahna glared at her. 

“Excuse me for not spilling sunshine and unicorns when I found out.” McKenzie snapped. “When have I acted like a jerk?”

“Yesterday at your track meet. We all came to cheer you on. You didn’t care. JC even showed up. And you told him you didn’t even want him there! Do you know he had to rearrange his schedule to be able to make it your track meet? That Lance had to find a guest to fill in for him on his radio show so he could be there?”

McKenzie stared at Briahna wide eyed. 

“Of course you don’t.” Briahna rolled your eyes. “You don’t even care. You acted like a brat yelling at us because boo hoo you fell down and didn’t win. So what your daddy isn’t who you wanted it to be. Why does he even matter? He’s not in your life. He’s not part of your life. What happened doesn’t give you the right to treat us like crap. I bet that’s the reason JC broke up with your mom.”

“What?” McKenzie whispered, bewildered. JC broke up with her mom? When? Her mom’s appearance from this morning flashed through her mind. Another wave of pain coursed through her. The reason her mother hadn’t mentioned being able to talk to JC was because they were no longer together.

“I heard mom and dad talking. I bet he could have been your dad if you hadn’t pushed him away. He’s pretty awesome. But you got hung up on some sperm donor who shares your DNA. Now you not only ruined your dream, but your mom’s as well.”

McKenzie couldn’t do anything but watch as Briahna spun on her heel and walked away. 

*~*

“How was school?” Rachel asked as McKenzie climbed into the passenger seat after tossing her bags in the backseat. 

“Fine.” McKenzie muttered. She scribbled across the notebook page. “Coach wants to talk to you.”

Rachel blinked and looked at the windshield seeing McKenzie’s track coach walking toward them. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.” McKenzie shrugged, not bothering to look up. She just continued writing.

Rachel stared at her daughter a few seconds longer, before she climbed out of the car and walked toward the track coach.

“Ms. Bass,” Ms. Andrews held out her hand for Rachel to shake. “How are you?”

“It’s been a long week,” Rachel said truthfully. “But I’m okay. Is there something going on?”

“I wanted to let you know that McKenzie skipped practice today.”

“What?” Rachel looked back to her car. Her daughter’s head was bent to her lap. 

“She never showed up. The girls said they had seen her after school, but they never saw her in the locker room and she never showed up. I know she was out a few days this week. Is she feeling alright? Is she sick?”

Rachel shook her head. “No. She’s not sick. She’s just…” she sighed wondering how much she should say. “She’s going through a personal issue right now and she’s taking it hard. I’m trying to help her but…” she sighed again. “Teenagers.”

Ms. Andrews nodded. “I understand. If there is anything I can do?”

Rachel shook her head, sending her an appreciative smile. “Thank you. Is she going to be punished for skipping practice?”

Ms. Andrews shook her head. “I’ll let it go with a warning this time because I can tell there is something going on with her.”

“Thank you. I will talk with her so this doesn’t happen again.” Rachel shook the coach’s hand and walked back to the car. “Young lady, what is the meaning of skipping practice?”

“I didn’t feel like running,” McKenzie shrugged.

“McKenzie,” Rachel sighed. She reached forward and turned the radio down. “That’s not how this works.”

“I had a bad day okay,” McKenzie looked up, staring at her mother. “I started to go to the locker room to get read for practice. I went to my locker to grab my things and as I was putting my books in my bag, I saw the notebook you gave me. I don’t know… I just started writing. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. When I realized the time, I changed into my practice clothes and went to the track hoping to make you think I was at practice. Coach caught me. Am I in trouble?”

“She gave you a warning. You’re lucky.” Rachel told her. She placed a hand on McKenzie’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about what happened today? Why you had a bad day?”

“I thought that’s what the notebook is for?’

“Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna ask you if you’re okay or what’s going on,” Rachel said patiently. “I still hope you’ll talk to me.”

“Briahna and I got in to a huge fight.” McKenzie looked down at the notebook, twiddling the pen in her fingers. “Did you and JC really break up?”

“How…how do you know?” Rachel whispered. The question caught her off guard. 

“Briahna…” McKenzie raised her head and looked at her mom. The tears she saw made her own eyes fill with tears. “She was right… JC did break up with you.” She sniffled and felt a tear roll down her cheek. She watched as it dropped off her face onto her notebook. The black ink ran and discolored. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? It’s my fault.”

“No Kenzi. It’s not your fault.” Rachel pulled her daughter into a hug across the center counsel, holding her as she cried. She could feel her own tears falling. “It’s okay.” She whispered. Today had been rough. Once she had returned from dropping McKenzie off at school, the silence in the house had been loud. It made her wish McKenzie had stayed home from school. Least the house wouldn’t be lonely.

It hadn’t been lonely for long. Melissa had shown up with a large cup of coffee and a dozen donuts. Rachel hadn’t even questioned how she knew what had happened. She had just been thankful she knew and had been there. There had been plenty of tears all day long. Plenty of anger on Melissa’s part. Rachel wasn’t able to feel anything other than pain and sadness. She couldn’t even think about anger.

She should have felt relief. After all, she had been thinking about breaking it off. She shouldn’t be torn up about it just because JC did it first. But it hurt. It hurt so much. She may have thought about breaking it off with JC because of McKenzie, but she knew she wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. She loved him too much. She had finally gotten what she had wanted: JC. The one thing she had wished for since she was 19, had been hers. Then it had been cruelly snatched after eighteen days.

Eighteen days had been all she had gotten. Nine of those days she had spent in Mississippi. They never even got to go out on a traditional date. The two times they did go out, McKenzie had been with them and they had hit up a burger joint and a pizza place. There had been a few kisses, a few hugs, and not a lot of snuggling. No moving past first base where JC had firmly planted himself on when he met her at the door in a commandeering kiss.

They never had a chance.

It was a tease. A snippet of what could have been; of what they could have had. Somehow, she had screwed it all up. Mistakes she had maybe fourteen years ago were coming back to haunt her ruining dreams she had dreamt for so long. Dreams she thought had been coming true. Rachel wasn’t sure what was worse: spending fifteen years dreaming about what might have been and what it might have been like or knowing and having it snatched away before it even sunk in that she had it.

“Can you fix it?”

“Fix what?” Rachel asked, pulling back.

“You and JC.” McKenzie wiped her eyes and sat back in her seat.

“I don’t know Sweetie. I don’t know.”

*~*

The sun was setting by the time JC left the studio he’d been holed up in since that morning. It hadn’t been a studio day originally, but an issue cropped up with an artist he had been working with. The whole team was called back in. It had been a long day, especially long for him since it was a fight for him to keep his head on the task at hand. That had never been a problem for him before. He’d always been able to separate his personal life from music. When he went in to the studio or a writing session, he had always been able to shut off his brain to everything but music.

The hangover he had been nursing throughout the day hadn’t helped. After Rachel had delivered a final bye and hung up the phone, he had tried calling her back to no avail. She hadn’t answered. It had crossed his mind to drive to her house. He had been climbing in his car before he realized how late it would have been when he would have gotten to her house. He then remembered McKenzie’s attitude from the track meet and went back inside. He poured himself a drink he shouldn’t have.

JC was angry with himself. He shouldn’t have hesitated over the phone. He shouldn’t have allowed Rachel to steamroll their conversation into a break up. He should have gone over to her house and fixed the miscommunication. It wasn’t like he had slept last night anyway. The worst part was that he had made himself a liar. He had told Rachel over the phone when she was in Mississippi nothing would change his feelings for her. He loved her before the news and he loved her after. Now she thought he didn’t. There was no telling what she thought about him. Thinking he couldn’t handle what she had gone through – what she was still going through. Thinking he looked at her differently. 

It couldn’t be farther from the truth. He loved her. Had loved her since he was 22. Finding out what happened and about McKenzie hadn’t changed that for him. He just had no idea how to help them. He was lost. He wanted to fix it. He wanted to make the hurt and the pain go away. It wasn’t something he could do. One of the worst feelings in the world – knowing you couldn’t help.

JC had gotten through traffic fairly easy. Though if he had been asked, he wouldn’t have been able to say how he’d gotten home. He didn’t remember the drive. He pulled into his garage and as he walked in to his house, hit the button on the wall to close the door. Silence met him. Silence had been meeting him a lot over the years. It used to not bother him but lately it had been getting to him more and more. 

After finding out McKenzie thought he was her father, he had dreamt it was actually true. Coming home to laughter and conversation ringing through the house. Music blaring loudly from a room upstairs. A million shoes piled up at the door. A book bag tossed in random places. School calendars and notices cluttering up his fridge door. His DVR filled with the worst possible shows. Justin Bieber concerts. Taylor Swift concerts. Teenage girls coming and going from his house every day. The laughter. The giggling.

He imagined easels and drawing boards slowly taking over the downstairs mixing with all his music equipment. He hadn’t been able to find a care. He imagined the décor slowly changing into something that better resembled a home and less a house. Both sides of his bed would be untucked. Half of his closet would have been lost. Most of the bathroom counter. It would be littered with perfumes, creams, lotions, serums, mascara tubes, lipstick, and eye pencils.

The accomplishments that he held dear would be replaced with Honor Roll certificates, track and field medals, volleyball championships, piano recitals, marching band performances… His free time would be taken up by track meets, volleyball games, and Friday night football. There would be baby cries and toddler laughter. More than likely dogs barking and cats purring. There would be a new house because his would be bursting at the seams to hold everyone.

JC had imagined it all. The silence rang louder signaling the disappearance of everything he had imagined. The house wasn’t bursting at the seams. It was empty. He spotted the liquor bottle sitting on the counter and sighed. He grabbed it and put it away and wiped the counters down. In the fridge, he searched the contents for something he could warm up. A container of Chinese take out stared back at him. He opened the top and sniffed it. Sniffing it again he shrugged and dumped the contents into a bowl popping it in the microwave. 

While he waited for his food to warm, he pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at the notifications. Joey, in no uncertain terms, told him he was a dumbass. There had been an embarrassing phone call to his former bandmate the previous night. Another mistake. He wasn’t sure what he told Joey and if he was even making any sense. For Joey to call him a dumbass, he was certain Joey was able to read what he’d been saying. 

He just wasn’t sure how to fix it. McKenzie still didn’t want him around. How could he be in a relationship with Rachel when her daughter didn’t like him? It wasn’t possible. The relationship would be strained. He’d be trying not to upset McKenzie; trying to toe the line. Rachel would be trying to keep them both happy. No one would win. The strain and the stress would be too much. Eventually they’d grow to hate each other. Hating Rachel wasn’t something he could imagine.

_‘You picking us up from the airport or should we rent a car? It will probably be easier to rent a car.’_

JC read the text from his mother and frowned. He groaned when he saw the date. His parents were coming to visit for the week along with Tyler, his wife Sarah, and his sister, Heather and her husband, Drew. He had completely forgotten. _‘It would be easier to rent a car.’_ There would be too many people and bags for his Mercedes convertible. Sometimes when he had family visiting, he’d rent an SUV that offered more room. With six visitors, traveling in one car would be too much.

_‘Can’t wait to see Rachel again and to meet McKenzie.’_

The text brought JC up short. He remembered the conversation he had earlier in the week with his mom when she called to remind him about their flight. She hadn’t been able to stop talking about Rachel and McKenzie. He had promised they would all get together. He even mentioned McKenzie’s track meet which his mother had jumped at the chance to go. He wasn’t even sure if he mentioned to Rachel his family was visiting. The days following their return from Mississippi had been chaotic. 

He sighed. _‘Rachel and I aren’t together anymore.’_ He was impressed with how quickly his phone rang. “Hello Mom.”

“What do you mean you and Rachel aren’t together anymore?” Karen fired as soon as he answered.

“Exactly what it means Mom,” JC sighed. “We broke up.”

“Whose stupid idea what that?”

“Mine I think.” The conversation with Rachel was still confusing. He had tried working it out in his head how a single pause had led to the end of their relationship.

“You’re an idiot.” Karen said bluntly.

“Thanks Mom.” 

Karen sighed. “What happened JC?”

JC opened his mouth to brush off his mom’s questions not wanting to get in to what happened with Rachel. He wasn’t sure himself. To his horror, everything tumbled out. His feelings when he was younger. Rachel’s feelings. What happened before the No Strings Attached tour. Why she kept what happened a secret. Rachel’s pregnancy. McKenzie believing he was her father. Everything. When he was finished, the silence stretch over the phone line.

“Oh my word,” Karen finally said, her voice a soft whisper. “Poor Rachel… I can’t believe… I can’t imagine… Poor McKenzie. That’s a lot for a little girl to handle. At her age… I bet it’s all so confusing for her. I wish Rachel would have said something… she didn’t have to do this alone. Your father and I would have been there for her.”

“I would have too. We all would have. It makes me angry when I think about why she didn’t say anything.”

“She was trying to protect you guys.”

“Our careers were not more important than her.

“No.” Karen agreed. “But she didn’t want to see you guys lose them after knowing how hard you guys worked. No one else knew better than she did. She saw everything.”

“I wish I would have seen him look at her just once and been able to stop it.”

“It’s not that easy, Sweetie. You could make yourself go crazy looking back at all the instances they were in the same room together and try to think if that was the moment. He could have planned it or it could have been spontaneous. You’ll never know. Unless you ask him…”

“The last thing I would be doing if I saw him again would be having a conversation.”

Karen could hear the anger laced in JC’s words. “You’re gonna have to let your anger go. Being angry will not help Rachel or McKenzie. You need to find a way to put it behind you. Concentrate on Rachel and McKenzie. Being there for them and being what they need you to be.”


	23. Chapter 23

“I need your help Uncle Lance,” McKenzie turned to her uncle that Friday as soon as the door shut behind her mother.

“I thought I smelled something fishy,” Lance smirked. He had been surprised when Rachel had called that morning, McKenzie wanted to spend the night at his house. He readily agreed, looking forward to spending time with his niece. Anything to help her through this rough patch. When he saw McKenzie’s eyes fill with tears, he rushed forward. “Hey, what’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“Everything is a mess and it’s all my fault,” McKenzie cried when Lance pulled her into a hug.

“No,” Lance shushed his niece. “Come on.” With an arm around her shoulders he led her into the living room where they sat on the couch.

“Do you need me to leave?” Michael asked. Sometimes he felt like he was imposing on Lance’s relationship with McKenzie even after they had been together all this time. Lance tried to tell him how silly it was, but there were times he felt like an intruder though he loved McKenzie just as much as Lance did. He considered all Lance’s nieces and nephews his own.

“No, you can stay.” McKenzie sniffled. “Please.”

Michael grabbed the box of tissues from the nearby table and sat next to McKenzie on the couch. He handed her a tissue before putting the box on the coffee table in front of them. His heart flopped at the smile she sent him. He placed an arm on her shoulders and hugged her to him. 

“What’s going on Kenz?” Lance asked once McKenzie got her tears under control. 

“Do you know that Mom and JC broke up?”

“I do,” Lance nodded. He gave JC an earful when he found out, none to happy. He barely let JC speak two words during his angry tirade, completely pissed that after everything Rachel had revealed in the past couple of weeks, he’d pull up stakes and walk away. Lance hadn’t felt any better after he hung up the phone. His phone had beeped not even a minute after the phone call with a long text message from JC.

_‘I love your sister. I have waited fifteen years for this. I am not walking away from her and Kenzi. Nothing Rachel told me changes how I feel about her. I love her. I love Kenzi. I have no idea how to help them. I don’t want to mess this up. You joke that Kenzi thinks I hung the moon. That’s not the truth anymore. I’m not even sure what she thinks of me. She’s shut me out and I’m not sure how to even reach her. I don’t want to put Rachel in the middle. Not after everything. It’s that last thing she needs to be dealing with. I’m not giving up on either of them. Never. I love them. I would have married Rachel back then. In a heartbeat. If I had known. If she would have let me. I would have been a father to Kenzi. At times I wanted to be her father. I will fix this as soon as I can figure out how to make Kenzi not hate me anymore.’_

“It’s my fault,” McKenzie whispered.

“What do you mean it’s your fault?” Michael asked. 

“I’ve been such a brat. I’ve been mean to him. I’ve ignored him. How could he stay? Why would he? He rearranged his schedule to be there on Wednesday and I…” The tears started to roll down her cheeks again. “He hates me. That’s why he broke up with Mom isn’t it? It’s because of me.”

“I outta punch him in the nose,” Lance muttered as he pulled McKenzie into a hug. “Sweetie, he doesn’t hate you. Shhh come on. Don’t cry. I promise you, Kenz. He doesn’t hate you.”

“Everyone probably hates me.”

“No,” Lance said firmly, pulling away from his niece. He placed his hands on her shoulders so he could look at her. “Nobody hates you. Why do you think that?”

“Look at me,” McKenzie cried looking at her uncle. “I’m a constant reminder of what happened. It was because of me that Mom and JC didn’t get together in the beginning. Now it’s because of me they aren’t together now.”

“Kenzi,” Lance started but stopped. He patted his empty pockets. He looked at Michael. “Where’s my phone?”

“Uhm…” Michael looked around the living room, not seeing it. “Oh. I think you left it on the desk after the show was over. I’ll get it.”

“Why do you need your phone?” McKenzie asked wide eyed as Michael quickly left the room to grab Lance’s phone. “Who are you doing to call? I don’t want to talk to anyone. Uncle Lance…no…”

“Relax,” Lance told McKenzie. Michael came back with Lance’s phone in his hand. “Thanks,” he said as he took it from his fiancée’s hand. “I’m not going to call anyone. I want to show you something.”

“What?” McKenzie sniffed and took Lance’s phone from him when he held it out. His messages were open. At the top of the screen was the name JC. “I don’t…” she shook her head and started to hand the phone back to her uncle, but he stopped her. 

“Read that.” Lance told her. “He sent that to me yesterday. Read it.” He watched as McKenzie looked down at the screen. He only knew she was reading by the fact that more tears had begun to fall and her thumb on the screen scrolling up to read the rest of the message. “He doesn’t hate you. Not even a little bit, okay?” He whispered softly. 

“He thinks I hate _him_?” McKenzie raised her head to look at Lance. He was blurry in front of her do to her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t. I don’t hate him.”

“I know you don’t.”

“I thought it was him.” McKenzie looked back at the message JC had sent Lance. “I thought he was my father…everything I found said it was…”

“That happens when we really want something to be true. We start seeing things that aren’t there.” Michael said. 

“Nobody looks at you and thinks about how you were created, Kenz.” Lance told her softly. “We look at you and see a smart, funny, talented, beautiful girl. I am so proud of you. You moved away from all your friends, the only home you’ve ever known and you’ve rocked it out here. Completely kicked ass.”

“I’m afraid,” McKenzie sniffed again, wiping at her eyes.

“Why are you afraid?” 

“I don’t want to turn out like him.” McKenzie whispered.

“Turn out look who? Your father?”

“Don’t call him that!” McKenzie snapped. “He’s not my father. He’ll never be my father.”

“Hey. Okay. Okay.” Lance said calmly. 

“What makes you think you’ll turn out like him?” Michael asked, watching as McKenzie tapped Lance’s phone when it darkened to bring up the message from JC again.

“I’m a part of him. I have half of his DNA.”

It was at the moment that Lance hated how smart McKenzie was. Hated how she wasn’t younger and didn’t know about genetic make up. Hated how he couldn’t tell her the man who was her father was a bad man and they never had to talk about it again.

“That’s not how it works, Kenz.” Michael took over. “Just because someone does something bad doesn’t mean their offspring is likely to follow in their footsteps. You’ve heard about nature versus nurture right?”

“A little…”

“It’s basically an argument on what affects us more: genetics or environmental factors. There are people who believe everything we are is passed down. Then the other side believes we start off as a blank slate and are shaped by what surrounds us.”

“How does this help me?” McKenzie sniffled, looking at Michael.

“Nurturers believe that we are shaped by our environment. We learn right and wrong, how to act, our behaviors and actions from those around us. You’ve been surrounded by some pretty incredible people all your life: your mom, all your grandparents, your aunts, uncles. Even those outside your family such as teachers, neighbors, the people you knew from church, your classmates. Characters you’ve watched on TV or read in a book. Every person has left some sort of mark on you. Even if you don’t think they left a mark.”

“I understand but I’m not sure how this is supposed to help me.”

Lance smiled patiently. “Do you believe that you were just predestined by genetics? It didn’t matter anything your mom taught you?”

“Genetics has to play a part in it. I mean, look at me.”

“See now you’re muddling the argument,” Michael smiled. “When it comes to nature versus nurture, we’re not talking about looks. That is something that boils down to genetics. Nature versus nurture boils down to personality, behaviors, characteristics.”

“Besides,” Lance grinned. “You are a mini Rachel. You look like exactly like her.”

“So the Bass genes are superior?”

“Something like that,” Lance laughed. “You also need to look at yourself on the inside. You are an amazing girl, Kenzi. You’re a great teammate, you’re a great friend. You’re caring. You’re kind. You help. You have a big heart.”

“What your mom told you doesn’t change any of that.” Michael said. “You don’t forget everything you are because you find a piece to a puzzle.”

“You don’t even need that piece.” Lance continued. “It doesn’t fit with any of the pieces that already make up you.”

“I never thought of it like that.” McKenzie looked down at the phone which had went black. She pressed the button the bottom and the phone lite up with a locked screen. Her uncle’s hand came in to view as he typed in his pin number, unlocking the screen. JC’s message appeared back on the screen. “Can you take me to JC’s?”

Lance smiled. “Let’s go.”

*~*

Rachel sat in the attic clad in a pair of black leggings and an oversized Golden Girls teal t-shirt knotted at the small of her back. Her hair was piled on the top of her head in a messy bun. She held a wine glass in one hand. The rest of the bottle sat off to the side. Spread out on the floor around her where items from the time she lived in Orlando. There were multiple drawing pads. Five photo albums stuffed with pictures. A couple spiral planners with *NSYNC on the front. Bobble heads and marionette dolls. Beanie bears. *NSYNC lanyards with hard cards still attached. Sound check wristbands. So much more. Sitting by her right knee was a garbage bag.

She took a sip of wine as she stared at all the things she had kept for all these years. It spanned a couple boxes. She had no idea why she still held on to the stuff. Reaching for one of the drawing pads, she sat it in front of her and opened the cover. A smiling JC stared back at her. Her heart caught. She had to flip through ten pages before she got to a page that didn’t have JC. Well… didn’t just have JC. The next page was another of JC. Hearts were drawn all around. The following page was a drawing of her and JC. That page had her name written all over it.

_Rachel Chasez_

_Mrs. JC Chasez_

_Mrs. Joshua Scott Chasez_

The next page held a game of MASH she must have been playing with herself. She was marrying JC (he had been the only option). They were living in a shack, with ten kids, driving a jeep, unemployed, making $100. Turning the page again, she saw another game of MASH. This time the husband had been Joey. Rachel knew immediately it had been Melissa playing. Melissa had married Joey, they were having 100 kids, driving a Lamborghini, living in a mansion, working as a pimp. She snorted.

They were stupid kids. She was anyway. Melissa may have thrown in the towel after three kids, rocked the soccer mom mini van, and have a better job, but she had gotten what she wanted. Joey, marriage, children, and a home. It was Rachel who was stuck living in the past. Living on dreams that were never going to come true. Some people got what they wanted – like Melissa. Other people didn’t.

Like her.

She grabbed the trash and shook it open before she tossed the drawing pad inside. Rachel didn’t bother looking at the other pads. She just shoved them into the bag one right after the other. A daily planner came next. The year was 1999. Opening it up, she saw the calendar days full of tour dates and appearances on TV shows and award shows. There were movie release dates written down that she and Melissa went to see. _She’s All That. 10 Things I Hate About You. Music of My Heart_ premiere and theatrical release. There were vacations written down. Hair appointments. Birthdays. A note that said to _Call Mom_. JC’s birthday was there on August 8th. It had a huge red heart drawn around the day.

Rachel stuffed it into the garbage bag too. Up next, she grabbed a photo album. As she flipped through the pages, she couldn’t help but smile as at the memories. Their baby faces. Hers. Melissa’s. JC’s. Lance’s. Joey’s. Chris’s. Justin’s. All of them. They looked so young. There were so many photos. A common theme from a time before digital cameras. Multiple photos were taken incase one didn’t turn out. Nothing had been more depressing than getting photos developed to discover the ones you really wanted didn’t turn out. 

With a sigh she pulled back the clear covering and picked at the corner of a photo of just JC and peeled it from its spot. She stared at it for a couple moments before dropping it into the trash bag.

“What in the hell are you doing!”

Rachel jumped at the noise, nearly upsetting the glass of wine next to her knee. She quickly wiped the tears off her cheeks.

“I saw that.” Melissa said as she finished going up the rest of the stairs. She had searched high and low for her best friend downstairs before making the trek upstairs, figuring she was soaking in a bath. If she was kid free that would be the first place to look if she was being sought out. It had been a long time since she had been able to take a bath without interruption. If it wasn’t one of the kids knocking on the door, it was Joey. Seeing the attic door ajar had cause her to frown. She had slowly climbed up the steps until she was able to see through the railing. Spying her friend, she watched silently as Rachel flipped through a photo album. It was when she started throwing them away Melissa couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “I repeat, what in the hell are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” Rachel asked as she turned another page in the album until she found another photo of JC.

“It looks like you’re throwing photos away…” Melissa crouched down at Rachel’s side and opened the trash bag to look at its contents. “It looks like you’ve lost your mind and throwing 1999 away.”

“Not all of it,” Rachel asked as she moved to drop another photo in the trash bag Melissa was now holding open.

“Give me that!” Melissa snatched the photo from her friend’s hand. “What the hell are you doing?”

Rachel sighed. “I told you.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Melissa said, cutting her off. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s time.” Rachel said as she removed another photo. It would be easier to just toss the complete album, but there were photos in the albums she wanted to keep. Photos of her and Lance. Her and Melissa. Melissa. Her. Various group photos or partial group photos. It was just the solo JC photos she was trashing. The photos a lovesick teenager had taken. “It’s past time.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Melissa took the album from Rachel’s hands and sat it out of reach. “Seriously. Have you lost your mind?” 

“Mel…don’t.” Rachel sighed.

“Why are you doing this now?”

“Because it’s time.”

“Will you stop answering my questions with answers you’ve already given me!”

“Stop asking questions you’ve already asked.”

Melissa closed her eyes and clenched her jaw in irritation. “Stop giving me vague answers to the questions I’m asking then.”

“If I didn’t have this laying around, McKenzie wouldn’t have snooped in it. She wouldn’t have concocted this… fantasy in her head about JC.”

“Right… you would have just settled in to dating JC and McKenzie would have concocted the fantasy then. That’s so much better.” Melissa rolled her eyes. “Face it Rach… Your daughter is exactly like you. Ten minutes in his presence and she was in love with him.”

“At least that way wouldn’t have been careening toward disaster.” Rachel took another sip of her wine.

“How much have you had?” Melissa eyeballed the wineglass. 

“My first glass.”

“Did you mix it with a valium?” Melissa asked dryly. “You’re just a ray of sunshine.”

“JC and I broke up Mel. Sorry I’m not shooting rainbows and glitter out of my ass.” Rachel snapped.

“That’s a…do you think you draw that for me?”

“Fuck off.” Rachel reached for a drawing pad in front of her hidden beneath a photo album. On the very first page was JC. She had drawn him laying on his stomach on a bed with his head at the foot. His arms where folded under his head clutching a pillow.

“Holy shit,” Melissa said as she stared at the photo. “If JC looked at me that way, I’d probably lose my panties…”

“He never looked at me that way…”

Melissa harrumphed. “He looked at you like that all the time. You were just too busy trying to make sure no one noticed you were looking at him the same way.” She put a hand on the pad turning it in her direction. “If I took a picture of Joey, naked from the waist up, could you draw me one of him laying in bed. On his side, sheet covering his nether regions, elbow bent, head on his head giving me the come hither panty dropper look?”

“I don’t even want to know what Joey’s ‘come hither panty dropper look’ looks like.”

“Oh,” Melissa shivered. “Gets me all hot and bothered just thinking about it.”

“Here,” Rachel picked up her glass of wine and handed it to her best friend. “Drink this and cool off.”

“I can’t help it.” Melissa giggled. “You know that scene in _‘The Lion King’_ with the hyenas when they say Mufasa? That’s what it’s like when Joey looks at me like that. _‘Ooo, do it again.’_ ” She shivered.

Rachel closed her eyes and scrunched her face up. “Shut up Mel. No. No. I’m not hearing this. I don’t want to hear it.” There was a smile playing at her lips. “I’m surprised you even come out of the bedroom.”

“If we didn’t have kids, we wouldn’t,” Melissa grinned. 

“That’s how you got there in the first place.”

“What can you do? It’s a vicious cycle.” 

“I wouldn’t know.” 

“And that is what makes my heart hurt,” Melissa sighed. She moved the trash bag and cleared a spot on the floor next to Rachel. “It hurts because you never had the chance to experience that all consuming passion where you don’t want to leave the bedroom. Where you can’t get enough of each other and you’re sneaking away because you can’t wait. Of having that person you feel in your soul. You’re so wrapped up in each other, falling more and more in love which you think is impossible because you can’t possibly love them more. But you do. You fall in love with him every day.” She wrapped her arm around Rachel’s shoulders when she heard Rachel sniffling. “I wish I could wiggle my nose and send us back in time so I can point out everything you missed.” She tapped the drawing pad. “So you can see that he did look at you like this. You can throw away all this stuff if you want, but it’s not going to work. The memories are in your head; in your heart.”

“We just never had a chance,” Rachel whispered, wiping her cheek with the back of her head. 

“Yes you do.” Melissa said firmly. “You’ve had plenty of chances and you still have chances. You just never took any of them. The moment you moved to Orlando after you graduated high school, you should have snatched him up. After what happened, you could have turned to him. He would have been there.”

“It wasn’t his responsibility.” 

“Sometimes it’s so maddening dealing with you.” Melissa muttered. “He loves you. He would do anything for you. Including breaking up with you if it meant protecting you. If he thought it would help you, help Kenzi.” 

“That’s not the kind of help I needed.”

“Well unfortunately, he’s still a man. And men need our help. It’s amazing they can even get dressed in the mornings on their own. The things Joey does sometimes,” she rolled her eyes affectionately. “I can only shake my head at, but I love him and he’s mine. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Eighteen days.”

“What?” Melissa asked, leaning her head closer.

“Eighteen days,” Rachel repeated louder.

“What’s that mean? What’s eighteen days?”

“How long we were together. My heart feels like it’s been eighteen years.”

“Because you and JC share that once in a lifetime love. The kind that everyone searches for. Look at you two… you said it yourself. It’s like nothing changed. Fifteen years later and he made you melt on the sidewalk outside the café with just a look. That look,” Melissa said pointing to the drawing pad. “He has been giving that look to you for years. He’s yours. You’re his. You two are your own worst enemies. The only ones keeping you two apart are the two of you.”


	24. Chapter 24

“He has visitors.”

“No one more important than you,” Lance assured his niece as he pulled into the neighbor’s drive. He carefully backed out turning his car around to face the opposite direction. There were two cars hugging the opposite side of the narrow road, close to the hillside. He usually parked there. This time, he maneuvered his car as close to the curb as he could get to allow cars to be able to pass. “I hate this road,” he muttered coming to a stop right before the entrance to JC’s garage. “Get out the passenger side, Kenz.”

“I know how to walk in the road Uncle Lance.”

“It’s not you who worries me. It’s the other car that will come around that turn,” Lance said as he turned off the car and climbed from the car. He didn’t spend too much time in the road, walking quickly behind his car, meeting Michael and McKenzie at the rear of his car. A wall blocked the view of JC’s patio from the road. He walked to the door in the wall and pressed buttons on the keypad. He heard the locks release and he pushed the door open.

“You just walk in to his house?” McKenzie asked as she went through the door. It was a patio that offered steps down a hill side or a path back along the wall where it opened up wider around the house. That path also led to a door which her uncle was walking toward.

“If the gate is open, sure,” Lance shrugged coming to a stop at the door where he pressed the doorbell. He could hear voices inside and he wondered who JC had over. 

“Maybe we should come back?” McKenzie’s stomach flip flopped. She was nervous enough talking to JC, she didn’t want to do it with an audience. 

“Michael and I will entertain if we have to,” Lance looked down at his niece. “There are plenty of places inside that you and JC can talk without being bothered.” He looked back at the door when it opened. He wasn’t expecting the person on the other side of the door. “Heather!”

“And JC said I wouldn’t get to see you,” Heather laughed as she hugged her brother’s friend. 

“It’s been a long time!” Lance chuckled as the hug ended.

“Yes it has.” Heather turned her attention to the other people with Lance. “Is this Michael?”

“It is. Michael this is JC’s sister, Heather.”

“Hi,” Michael smiled and accepted her hug. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yes. Yes.” Heather smiled and looked at the teenager. Her eyes widened when she recognized the girl. “Is this McKenzie?”

“The one and only.”

“How do you know who I am?” McKenzie asked, staring at JC’s sister. She was trying to find the similarities between JC and his sister. It was then she remembered Melissa telling her JC had been adopted.

“You look exactly like your mom,” Heather laughed. “Plus JC talks about you…a lot.”

Lance grinned at the look on McKenzie’s face. “We aren’t interrupting are we?”

“Nah,” Heather shook her head swatting her hand in front of her. “Just cooking dinner and depleting my brother’s wine selection.” 

Lance laughed. “McKenzie needs to borrow him.”

“Oh no,” McKenzie spoke up, shaking her head. “I don’t want to interrupt.”

“Nonsense,” Heather brushed off the girl’s concerns. “He’ll be happy to see you. Come on,” she ushered them inside and shut the door. She couldn’t wait to see her brother’s face. She wished Rachel had been with them, but one half of the Bass women would do. 

“Who’s all here?” Lance asked hearing the talking and laughter coming from the kitchen.

“Everyone,” Heather said. “Mom, Dad, Tyler, Sarah, me and Drew. We’re visiting for the week. Sunny Florida for sunny California. I can send JC out here? You might get thrown to the wolves in the kitchen.”

“She’s already nervous enough,” Lance scolded Heather. 

“I was talking about you,” Heather sent McKenzie a wink. “You know my mom loves you Lance.”

“Just go get him.” Lance chuckled.

Heather tipped her wine glass in his direction and made her way to the kitchen, a huge smile on her face. 

“Who was at the door?” JC asked when his sister reappeared in the kitchen.

“Solicitors.” Heather grinned. “They sure are better looking out here than they are in Florida.”

“What?” JC stilled where he was cutting potatoes on the cutting board. “At the door? How’d they get in?” He hoped his security system wasn’t on the fritz.

“They selling anything good?” Tyler asked as he stirred the pot on the stove. 

“Oh yeah.” She giggled at JC’s face. He was not impressed. “Don’t worry JC, you’ll like it.”

“Who was at the door Heather?” 

“McKenzie.” She had been right. The look on JC’s face was amusing.

“What?” JC put the knife down and reached for the towel wiping his hands. “How did she get here?” He was fairly certain McKenzie didn’t even know where he lived. He was positive she didn’t know the code to get in. “Is she alone?” There were so many questions in his mind. Did she run away again? He paled thinking about how long it was to get to his house from hers. It wasn’t walking distance. It was walking major highways.

“Relax.” Heather said, her smile softening. “Lance and Michael are with her. She wants to talk to you. Poor girl looks so nervous. I figured it was best to send you out there instead of bringing her into the lion’s den.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Karen asked her daughter. Her heart had caught at the mention of McKenzie. 

“You know you can’t wait to get your hands on her.” Tyler chuckled.

“Your first grandkid…”

“Guys,” JC said giving his brother and sister a look. 

“Send Lance and Michael in to help cook,” Tyler called as JC walked out the kitchen. “Why are we cooking again?”

“Because us woman beat you to JC’s house from the airport.” Sarah grinned from her spot at the bar. Heather took the seat next to her. “You got lost.”

“I didn’t get lost,” Tyler muttered. “You just drive bat shit crazy.”

“Perfect for LA.”

JC left his family to argue about cooking and went to find McKenzie. He was shocked she had showed up at his house. He hadn’t been expecting to hear from her. He had expected to talk with Rachel and get their relationship back on track. Then he would approach McKenzie and work on their relationship. But here McKenzie stood. In his living room with Lance and Michael on either side of her. Heather had been right. McKenzie looked nervous.

“Is everything okay?” JC asked with trepidation. McKenzie wouldn’t meet his eyes. He bit back a frown. “Heather said you needed me?”

“I didn’t know your family was visiting,” Lance apologized.

JC brushed the apology aside. “It’s alright.” He looked at Lance who tilted his head toward his niece. He turned his attention to McKenzie and watched as Lance leaned down to whisper in her ear. Whatever Lance said to her caused her to take a deep breath and look up at him. There were tears in her eyes and his heart fell to his stomach. “Kenz.” He was unable to stop himself from taking a step forward. He faltered after that initial step unsure if he should pull her into a hug like he wanted. Her tears broke his heart.

McKenzie stared at JC, her eyes filled with tears. It was as if she were frozen in place. She couldn’t move. Her hand tightened around Lance’s phone. She held it like a lifeline; had read the text message JC had sent over and over in the car ride to JC’s. Now she could recite it word for word. _‘I love them.’_ Seeing his aborted attempt to move to her, she rushed forward.

JC barely had time to brace himself before McKenzie slammed into him. Her arms wrapped around his waist; her head buried into his chest. “Hey,” he said quietly as she cried. He lifted his arms and hugged her as tightly as she held on to him. Lance and Michael slipped away; he paid them no attention. He concentrated on the girl in his arms. “Hey…come on now…shhh…it’s okay.” He whispered trying to stop her tears. “No?” He questioned when he felt her head shake back and forth.

“No,” she mumbled against him. “It’s not okay.”

“Tell me what’s wrong?” JC tried to loosen his hold, but McKenzie gripped him tighter. “Hey, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You said you couldn’t stay away.”

“What?” JC asked confused unsure he heard right between the tears and the mumbling into his chest.

“You said,” McKenzie lifted her head to look at him. Tears rolled down her cheeks unchecked. “You said you couldn’t stay away. That’s why you wouldn’t let me go on Saturday.” Saturday seemed like a lifetime ago.

“I did say that.”

“Then why? Why would you just leave us?”

“Oh Kenz,” JC’s heart broke at her question.

“I didn’t mean what I said on Wednesday. I swear. I didn’t.” McKenzie sobbed. “I don’t hate you. I don’t. I love you. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Sweetie…” There was nothing left of JC’s heart. It was lying in pieces on the floor. Tears filled his eyes. It was his turn to crush her to him. He held her as tightly as he possibly could, ducking his head to rest his cheek on her head. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not. Everything is all messed up.” McKenzie continued crying. “It’s all my fault. I just… I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you.”

The words tore JC apart. Tears fell down his cheeks when he closed his eyes and he took a harrowing breath. “What’s your fault Kenz?” He asked softly. “What do you think is your fault?”

“Everything.”

JC laughed softly. “You’re going to have to narrow it down but I can assure you everything is not your fault.”

“You broke up with mom because of me. Didn’t you? It was because I was a brat wasn’t it? I was mean. I made you hate me…”

“Oh no no no,” JC said immediately. He cupped her face with both hands so he could force her to look at him. “McKenzie, I do not hate you. That is absolutely not possible, okay?”

“But…”

“No,” JC shook his head. “Erase that thought from your mind right now. I do not hate you. Oh Kenz, I could never hate you. I love you.” He watched her eyes fill with more tears and brushed his thumbs over her cheeks, catching the tears. “Come here,” he pulled her back in his arms, holding her tight. “I love you Kenzi. Nothing you do will ever change how I feel. No matter what happens.”

“Then why did you break up with Mom?” McKenzie sniffed as she pulled away. She stared at JC, shocked to see that his eyes were red-rimmed and tear tracks on his cheeks.

“Believe it or not, I was trying to help you. Come on,” JC placed a hand on her back and led her into the living room. “It wasn’t my intention to break up with your mom. She completely ran right over me. By the time she let me talk, she was already off the phone."

“So you didn’t want to break up with her?” 

“Absolutely not,” JC shook his head. He looked at McKenzie. “I love your mother. I want her in my life for a very long time. I want you in my life. I had no idea what happened to your mom. I found out right before you did. If I had known, I would have done everything to help her. I loved her even back then.”

“Why didn’t you tell her?”

JC laughed softly. “That seems to be the million dollar question. I really don’t have a good reason. I wish I did tell her. I wish I would have taken the chance and told her how I felt.”

“If it hadn’t been for me, you guys would have gotten together. Gotten married and had a bunch of kids.”

“Then you wouldn’t be here,” JC said softly. He ducked his head, trying to meet her eyes. When she did, he told her, “And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” He watched her flip open the soft phone case and enter in a pin number on the phone. It lit up and he saw his name across the top in a text message. He frowned, not remembering texting a long message to McKenzie. 

“I don’t hate you, JC,” McKenzie whispered.

JC reached for the phone in McKenzie’s hand and tilted it to where he could read the screen. It was the message he had sent Lance yesterday. “Is this Lance’s phone?”

McKenzie nodded. “He showed this to me earlier.”

“Everything I put there is true, Kenz. I love your mom. I love you. I need you both in my life. I would have married Rachel if I could. I would have been your father in a heartbeat.”

“I don’t hate you.” McKenzie said again, referring to the final line in JC’s text. “I really wanted you to be my father.”

“I know Sweetie. I wish I was. I didn’t break up with Rachel because of what happened on Wednesday. I know you weren’t expecting all this. I wasn’t either. I’m still trying to work things out myself. I just want to help you. To get you back to that girl who snookered me into buying way too many boxes of cookies.” He smiled when he saw McKenzie fight off a smile. “To get you back to that girl on Saturday when we overtook your mom and Uncle Lance. Next time you tell him I’m a better teammate, do it so I can see his face.” That finally got McKenzie to smile and his heart lightened.

“JC?”

“Yes?” 

“What do you see when you look at me?” McKenzie’s eyes dropped from JC’s face. She stared down at her hands. Her uncle’s phone had gone dark again, but she made no move to unlock it.

“What kind of question is that?”

McKenzie raised her head and looked at him. “Do you see him when you look at me?”

“I see your mom.” JC smiled. “I met her when she was sixteen. I can’t believe how much you look like her. You act like her too. The same facial expressions. The same mannerisms.”

“You don’t see him?”

“Sweetie, I don’t even think of him. He has nothing to do with you. You are you and I wouldn’t change that for anything.”

McKenzie grinned at him. She sat Lance’s phone on the cushion beside her and hugged JC. 

“I told you,” JC said as he hugged her. “I love you. That will never change no matter what.”

“I love you too JC.” She held on for a few moments longer before releasing him. Voices filtered in from the kitchen. The low rumble of conversation and laughter. “Is your family here?”

JC nodded. “My parents. My brother and sister and their spouses. Do you want to go and meet them?” He watched as McKenzie shook her head. 

“Mel told me you were adopted. Is that true?”

“It’s true.” JC waited sensing McKenzie wasn’t done. 

“Do you know your mom and dad?” McKenzie asked softly. 

“I do.” JC said and he could tell the answer surprised her. “I know my biological mother. I lived with her until I was five.”

“Then she just decided she didn’t want you anymore? People can do that?” McKenzie was slightly horrified to learn that piece of information. She thought kids were adopted as babies. She thought they were in foster care and then adopted out. She didn’t know parents could just give up their children at any point.

“My mother didn’t have an easy life,” JC explained. His adoption was not something he talked about with a lot of people. While it was publically known, he wasn’t sure if he actually came out and discussed it during any interviews he’s given over the years. “It was me and her. My biological father wasn’t in the picture. I don’t even know who he is. We lived in Maryland, right outside DC. We didn’t have a lot of money. We moved around a lot. Sometimes we were homeless. She did the best she could, but she soon realized that I needed more.”

“She gave you up.”

JC nodded. “She had been in the foster care system. That’s how she knew Roy and Karen. They fostered her at one point. She went to them. It took a lot for her to realize that. It took a lot for her to make such a huge sacrifice. In order for me to have a better life, she had to give me up. But I went to live with Roy and Karen. They adopted me because they didn’t want me to end up the system.”

“Do you still see your mom?” McKenzie asked. “Your real mom?”

“Sometimes. We don’t have a real close relationship. But we do have a relationship. We talk a couple times a year.” 

“What about your dad?”

“I don’t know who he is. I’ve never met him. I don’t even know his name.”

“Do you ever wonder about him?”

“No,” JC answered honestly. “To me, my parents are in the kitchen. Roy is my dad and Karen is my mom. Tyler and Heather are my brother and sister. They are my family.”

“I don’t want to know who he is.” McKenzie confessed looking down at her hands. 

JC wished he didn’t know who he was. It was just another name added to the long list of names of people who used him in one way or another. The entertainment business was a dark place. He hoped McKenzie never had any dreams of getting involved in it. “It’s understandable.”

“How can you understand? Wouldn’t you want to know if you had a child?”

“I would.” It was another honest answer. He wondered what exactly he should tell McKenzie. He didn’t want to start down a path that wasn’t appropriate. He wished Rachel was here to help him navigate the conversation. “Personally, I think he lost the right to have anything to do with you after what he did.”

“Why don’t you want to know who your dad is?”

“Because he was never part of my life. Even when I was still with my real mother. He wasn’t there. Then Roy became my dad and that’s all I needed. I was a son to him. I wasn’t someone on the outside looking in. I was part of the family. The man who fathered me had nothing to do with me.”

“Nature versus nurture.” McKenzie whispered.

“What?”

“That’s what Uncle Michael explained to me.” McKenzie lifted her head and looked at him. “That just because his DNA made me, doesn’t mean I’m like him. I am shaped by what I am around.”

“I agree.” 

It felt as if things were finally settling in to place. McKenzie didn’t feel lost and struggling to find out who she was. “Are you going to fix what happened between you and Mom?” 

“As soon as I can.”

“I have it on good authority that she’s home alone tonight.”

JC laughed out loud. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. “If my family didn’t just fly in to visit…”

“They don’t want to see you happy?”

JC felt like a fish on a hook. There was nothing he could do but let McKenzie reel him in. 

“Can you come to my meet on Monday?”

“That means I have to talk to your mom before then…now that reminds me of your Uncle Lance.” He laughed as he shook his head. “I wouldn’t miss it Kenz.” 

*~*

Rachel rinsed the wine glass before leaving it in the kitchen sink. She’d wash it tomorrow. In Mississippi she knew her mother gave a shudder at the thought of leaving dishes in the sink but she wasn’t in the mood to wash a couple wine glasses and silverware. Melissa had drug her down out of the attic leaving the items strewn about. It was a mess she’d have to clean up before McKenzie came home. They had ordered Chinese and brainstormed on upcoming books. Rachel appreciated the distraction. They wanted to try and get ahead in the series so they weren’t dictated by deadlines. That was fine by Rachel. She was all for work. The more the merrier. If she could keep her head buried in work, she wouldn’t have time to think about JC.

With Melissa gone, the house had fallen silent once again. She hated the sound of silence. A way to combat the silence would be to turn on the television or music, but she wasn’t in the mood for either. She had texted Lance earlier to check how McKenzie was doing. Lance had sent her a selfie of him and McKenzie. McKenzie’s smile was wide. It made her heart happy to see her daughter looking so happy. She was glad her daughter was having a good time with her uncles. 

With a sigh, she turned off the kitchen light and decided to go to bed. Maybe she would find a rerun on TV that would send her off to sleep. If not, there was bound to be a book on her Kindle app that would do the trick. As she was turning off the lights, the door bell rang. A frown formed on her face. It wasn’t all that late, only a little after nine, but she wasn’t expecting anyone. Moving to the front door, she flipped on the outside light as she looked out the peephole and her eyes widened. She pulled back and shook her head. She had to be seeing things. She shut one eye and looked through the peephole again.

JC.

Rachel turned the deadbolt and hesitated before she pulled open the door. Leaning her head on the door, she took a deep breath and blew it out. Standing up, she opened the door. Too late she realized what she might look like. Frumpy with her black leggings and oversized t-shirt. The messy hair, red-rimmed swollen eyes from all the crying she had been doing. Maybe she should have cleaned up before answering the door. Maybe she should have just talked to him through the door so he wouldn’t have to see her. Maybe she shouldn’t have answered it at all.

“Hey.” JC shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jeans in order to stop himself from reaching out. 

“JC. What are you doing here?” Rachel raised her wrist looking at her watch. She knew was time it was. It was a move to give her time to try to collect her thoughts.

“I was hopping we could talk?” JC hadn’t planned on driving to Rachel’s that night. Then McKenzie had mentioned it at the dinner table and he was sunk. Everyone had ganged up on him and wouldn’t let up until he agreed to fix his relationship with Rachel. Immediately. That night. This time it was he had been effectively manipulated. He might have been able to put off his parents and Tyler and Heather. There was no way he could put off McKenzie. He was gone.

When Rachel opened her mouth, he quickly continued. “Because you got to talk on Wednesday night and didn’t let me say anything. I’m beginning to think that runs in the Bass family. You and Lance say Stacy does it. But in the last couple of days I’ve been on the receiving end of it from not only you, but Lance as well.”

“Lance?” Rachel repeated surprised.

JC nodded. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Rachel opened the door wider, and stepped aside, allowing JC to enter. She closed the door and when she turned around he was right there in front of her. “JC…”

“I told myself I wasn’t going to do this first,” JC lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. He watched as her eyes drifted shut at his touch and her body swayed into his. He leaned forward and brushed his lips across hers. 

The kiss was soft at first, barely giving Rachel a taste. Then she was in his arms, held tight against his body. His lips parted hers and she was lost. The only thing she could do was cling to him. Her hands fisted in a mixture of his cotton t-shirt and the denim of his jeans as she fought for traction at his hips. Her body melted into his. Her mind was consumed solely by him – his touch, how he felt, the taste of his lips, his smell. When he broke the kiss her eyes remained closed as she drew in oxygen. Her heart raced. Her hands were still white knuckled in his clothing. She felt his breath ghost across her lips as they both drank the same air. She could hear his breathing was just as ragged as her own. It took a few seconds for her eyes to focus when she opened them. Blue eyes stared back at her. Her breath hitched seeing the emotions swirling.

“I love you.” JC’s gaze was unwavering as he stared into Rachel’s eyes. “I have loved you ever since I was that dorky 22 year old who didn’t have the guts to tell you how I felt. These last couple of weeks have been everything to me because I have you in my life.” Her eyes filled with tears. He shifted to cup her face and felt her hands tightened on his hips. Her hold pulled his t-shirt tight across his chest. Her eyes fluttered shut again when he placed his other hand on her cheek. When the tears spilled over he brushed them away with his thumbs. “Whatever we have to face in the future doesn’t matter because my life is better with you. That smile you sent me outside the café a couple weeks ago? I’m just selfish enough to want that sent in my direction everyday.”

“I smiled because I saw you. My heart was happy.” Rachel said softly as she opened her eyes. “You looked up and saw me and smiled. When you smile at me, it feels like I am your whole world.”

“You are.” JC whispered. “You are.” He held her head in place with his hands on her cheeks and brushed her lips against hers. Once... twice… “You mean everything to me. You. Kenzi. You two are my whole world.”

“JC, I…”

“Shhh,” he whispered and kissed her again.

“I can’t think when you do that,” Rachel whispered against his lips.

“Good.” JC settled his lips on hers once more. “I never wanted to break up with you.” He told her when the kiss ended. “I thought about it… briefly… I wanted to do what was best for McKenzie. I wanted to help her. I wanted to help you.”

Rachel let her head fall forward to rest her forehead on his chest. She finally released the hold she had on his hips and wrapped her arms around his waist. His arms wrapped around her and she let herself be held. “When you hold me like this,” she sighed and turned her head to the side feeling his arms tighten around her. “I thought it would be better for you if we broke up. You didn’t ask for all this….”

JC cut her off. “Being without you is not better for me. Not even close.”

“Breaking up with me is not helping me.” Rachel countered.

JC gave an aborted laugh, a smile growing on his face. “Then we agree that no matter what happens, we’ll face it together?” 

“I like the sound of that.” Rachel lifted her head and ran her hands back to the front of his body. She splayed them on his chest, running them up his chest to his neck where she brushed her thumb across the stubble on his cheek. Running her tongue across her bottom lip, she saw his eyes darken as they followed the movement. She leaned closer, until she was a whisper away. Noses touched; breaths mixed. “Stay?” She whispered so softly it barely made a sound.

“Never leaving.” 

This time it was Rachel who pressed her lips to his. As they kissed, one of her hands moved across the side of his head to the back. Her fingers carded through his hair. Her other hand slid down to rest on his chest. She ran her tongue on the bottom of his lip. When his lips parted, she took control. Her tongue swept in, stroking his, seeking his taste. He tasted of mint like he had brushed his teeth before he came over. Her hand moved up his arm to his shoulder blade. When she took a step back, she pressed against his shoulder so he’d moved with her. Two more steps and she was against the wall next to the front door. JC’s body pressing against her. When her back hit the wall, he took over the kiss. His tongue entered her mouth, teasing, searching. Her fingers tightened in his shoulder

JC placed a hand on the wall next to Rachel’s head. He broke the kiss and trailed his nose across her cheek. His breath brushed her cheek. Rachel tilted her head to the side and shivered when JC’s lips kissed the skin behind her ear. Her hands were back twisting in his shirt at his waist. It was that hold she used to keep him against her. She needn’t bother. He kept his hips pressed to hers. 

It took her a minute to realize the vibration against her hip was not an effect of what JC was doing to her body. “JC…” She whispered, trying to get his attention. He hummed against her neck. That time the vibration was from her. “Phone…” she murmured as JC’s lips returned to hers. “Your phone…” 

“What?” JC asked as he changed the angle of the kiss. He took advantage of her parted lips. His tongue stroked hers and he groaned when her lips closed around his tongue and sucked. His hips surged forward, pressing harder into her, letting her feel exactly what the kisses were doing to him. 

“Phone, JC,” Rachel murmured feeling the vibration again.

JC lifted his head, staring at Rachel. Her pupils were blown wide, her lips were swollen. Her breaths coming out heavy. “What’s wrong?” He asked and then felt the vibration on his leg. “Oh…” His face heated as he blushed. He pulled back slightly so he could reach in to his pocket and withdraw his phone intending to turn it off. The screen lit up with the movement showing a missed call and text messages. Lots of messages.

Lance.

“What’s wrong?” Rachel asked, seeing his face. She looked at the screen seeing her brother’s name. “Why’s he texting you?” She paled. She started patting her legs. No pockets. She didn’t have her phone. “Is something wrong with McKenzie? She’s staying with him tonight.”

JC unlocked his phone and opened his text messages. He was glad he didn’t send the vulgar message he’d thought about sending after effectively being cock-blocked. It hadn’t been Lance sending him messages. It was McKenzie.

_‘Well????????’_

Then came a photo of McKenzie holding a handful of popcorn to her mouth, which was wide with a smile mimicking a Michael Jackson meme from the Internet. 

_‘Did you fix it? Are you and mom back together again?’_

_*waiting*_

The next message was a GIF. It took him a couple times through to realize it was flipping through photos. In the photos were Lance and McKenzie in various positions. One photo had them with their heads resting on a hand. Another was the same position but their other arm was lifted to mimic looking at a watch. Another had them leaned back against the back of the couch, their head leaned back staring at the ceiling, their arms flopped at their sides. 

The next message was also a photo. This time it was a photo of a skeleton sitting on a bench with the caption _‘Waiting for JC to make up with Mom’_. He snorted. 

“What’s funny? What’s going on?”

_‘Mom’s not answering her phone.’_

_‘You didn’t mess up did you???’_

_‘Please tell me you didn’t mess up.’_

JC looked up from the phone to meet Rachel’s eyes. “It’s not Lance.”

“What?” Rachel asked, then glanced down when JC turned his phone toward her. Her eyebrows nearly hit the roof when she read the messages. “McKenzie? Kenzi is texting you?” She frowned. “I thought… but… she…” she sighed. “Why do I get the feeling that I’ve been manipulated again?”

“You haven’t been manipulated.” He tucked his fingers under Rachel’s chin, tilting her head up. He kissed her softly. “I have.”

“I’m missing something.”

“That’s my fault. You distracted me.” He kissed her again.

“JC…” Rachel murmured against his lips. 

His phone vibrated in his hand and he sighed. This time McKenzie had sent him a GIF of SpongeBob biting his fingernails. He had a feeling she wasn’t going to stop until he responded. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Kenzie came to see me tonight.” JC saw Rachel’s eyes widen in surprise. “We had a long talk,” He couldn’t stop the smile from forming thinking about it. “We’re good.”

“Really?”

“Really.” JC raised his hand, brushing his knuckles across her cheek. “She is one spectacular girl. You did an amazing job raising her.”

“I’m sort of shocked.” Rachel heard JC’s phone vibrate again and looked at it, but she couldn’t see the screen. 

“She wants me to come to her track meet on Monday.”

Rachel couldn’t help but smile at JC, seeing the wide smile on his face. 

“I told her I was going to fix us, she manipulated me in to doing it tonight.” JC explained how his family is in town and how McKenzie, Lance, and Michael had stayed for dinner. Then how during dinner, they all ganged up on him until he finally left. 

“I told you Lance was a bad influence on her.” Rachel laughed. She dropped her eyes when his phone vibrated again. “Your adoring fan awaits.”

_‘Uncle Lance said you had no balls.’_

“She did not!” Rachel gasped taking the phone from his hand, staring at the message. “I’m gonna kill him. It’s not funny!”

JC laughed even harder and took his phone back. He tapped the button on the screen to open the camera. “Let’s put them out of their misery.” He pulled Rachel into his side and held his phone up snapping a selfie. He sent the photo and typed out a message. _‘Hey Uncle Lance, fuck off.’_

“JC!” Rachel gasped, slapping his shoulder. “Don’t send that to her!”

“I didn’t tell her to tell him to fuck off. I told him to fuck off. You know damn well he’s sitting next to her.” 

_‘Yessssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!’_

_‘I knew you would be able to fix it!!’_

_‘Aunt Heather said we’re meeting for lunch tomorrow.’_

“Aunt Heather?” Rachel questioned, staring at JC.

“I’m gonna kill her.” JC muttered and backed out of Lance’s message. He had tried to send a text to his sister, but Rachel put a hand over his before the message could be sent. 

“Yell at her tomorrow.” She slipped the phone from his grasp and pulled her brother’s messages back up. Her fingers quickly moved across the keyboard as she typed out a message. ‘If Uncle Lance doesn’t want Aunt Stacy to find out just who sent Keagan and Kellen the slime that resulted in Kellen getting his hair cut not to mention Aunt Stacy having to get her dining room chairs reupholstered, he’ll confiscate his phone.’

‘Uncle Lance said that’s blackmail.’

‘Uncle Lance isn’t the keeper of your cell phone at the moment.’

‘Byeeeee!!!!!’

“Who sent the slime?” JC asked as Rachel pressed the button on the side of his phone, sending the screen into blackness.

“No one knows. It’s a family mystery. No one has fessed up.”

“And face Stacy’s wrath? I wouldn’t either.”

“I’m understanding enough to know you have family in town,” Rachel said softly, meeting his eyes. “But I’m just selfish enough to ask you to stay.”

“Try and get rid of me.” JC kissed her lightly.

Rachel slid his phone in his pocket and took his hand. Making sure the front door was locked, she led him through the house. The lights were already off since she had been heading to bed before the door bell rang. Nerves built in her stomach when they entered her bedroom. JC’s hand squeezed hers and she turned around to look at him.

“I love you,” JC settled his hand on her hips, drawing her to him. 

“I love you.” Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck as he dipped his head. His lips met hers in a soft, slow, sensual kiss. It was nothing like the deep consuming kiss downstairs, but it still filled every inch of her soul. Her hand threaded through the hair on the back of his head and she opened her mouth to him. 

The fire built quickly. Her body yearned for more. She needed more. Dropping her hands to his waist, she fingered the hem of his t-shirt before slipping beneath the fabric. The skin was warm to the touch and she felt him shiver. Running her hands up his sides, she pushed the shirt up his body until he grabbed the hem and tore it over his head. Free of the barrier, her hands ran unbridled over the skin. Searching. Seeking. Exploring. Through the smattering of chest hair, she found his nipples and she ran her fingers over them. Her hands moved down his chest over his stomach. His muscles ripple at her touch.

JC groaned into her mouth when she clutched the belt loops of his jeans and pulled him hard against her. He broke the kiss and ran his lips over her cheek to her ear. He nibbled on the shell and felt her shiver. His arms wound around her waist, his hands pressed into her back, holding her tight against him. He kissed the spot behind her ear and felt her gasp. Fisting his hands in her shirt, he drew the fabric up until Rachel leaned back in his arms and reached for the shirt. His breath stuttered as she drew the shirt up over her hand and dropped it forgotten on the floor. His hands pressed against the hot skin on her back and his lips moved to her collar bone. 

With a quick flick of his wrist, her bra was undone. Then it was skin on skin as he held her tight against him while he kissed her again. Her tongue stroked and teased and drew him into her mouth where she teased him some more, sucking lightly. His moan was swallowed by her. His hands moved around to her stomach. He could feel her muscles quivering beneath his touch. He cupped her breasts in each hand, running his thumbs over the nipples, teasing them in to taunt peaks.

“JC…” Rachel broke the kiss with a whisper and that allowed him to drop his head, taking one nipple in his mouth. He lavished the nipple with his tongue, while he continued using his hand on its twin. He kneaded and caressed, rolled the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, scraping a nail over it. Her fingers threaded into his hair in an almost painful hold as she held him to her breast. “God JC…”

Her moans and whimpers spurred him on as he switched breasts, giving it the same attention as he did the first. Hands cupped his neck and guided his head up and back to her lips. Those same hands broke the fevered kiss, holding him back. Their lips were a whisper away from each other. Their hot breaths mixed. His dick was pressing hard against his zipper and he struggled not to dive right back in. His eyes opened and met hers. 

“I want you to lay me down and make love to me.” He felt each movement of her lips against his. Felt her breath on his lips. “I want to feel you over me… all around me… in me. I…” Her gaze faltered and she looked down before she met his gaze when his hands circled her wrists. “I’ve wanted this – you – for so long…”

“God yes,” JC whispered before capturing her lips again. He walked her backward until her knees hit the bed. Before he laid her down, he dipped his fingers beneath the waistband of her leggings and pushed them down. His hands trailed down her legs as he moved the material to her ankles where she stepped out of them. “You’re beautiful,” he said when she laid down on the bed. He stood, staring at her. To his delight he saw the blush cover her face and down her chest. “Every time you blush from now on, I’m gonna remember that it’s not just your face.”

Rachel’s face flamed even hotter, embarrassed. She sat up and grabbed his hand. “That could get us in to trouble…”

His eyes drank her in. “I’m going to have a hard time keeping my hands off you from now on.”

“It’s a good thing I don’t want them off me.”

JC groaned and cupped the back of her head giving her a hard kiss before he stood back up. After toeing off his shoes, he reached for the button of his jeans. Once the zipper was down he pushed the denim over his hips. Not once did his gaze waver from Rachel. When he was completely naked he crawled up onto the bed and moved over her. He pressed his body against hers feeling nothing but skin on skin. “I can’t get enough of you.”

“Good,” Rachel whispered staring up into his eyes. She parted her legs, allowing him to settle against her. His dick pressed into her pelvis and she shifted her hips causing JC to hiss and close his eyes.

JC lowered his head, taking a nipple into his mouth. His action caused Rachel to moan lightly and tilt her head back. He lavished her breasts until she was squirming beneath him. Keeping her lips on his body, he traced his way down her stomach. He settled between her legs and placed kisses on the creases of her thighs. He could smell her musk and felt his dick pulse, wanting to slide in to her right then.

Rachel ran her fingers through his hair as her legs parted further, opening herself up to him. “You don’t have to…”

“Oh baby, I want to…” he whispered. He ran a finger over her folds, slick with her excitement. He circled her entrance and slowly pressed a single digit inside of her tight heat. He groaned feeling the muscles contract on him. He leaned down and licked up her center drawing a breathy moan from her. Working his finger in and out of her, he set sights on her clit. Flattening his tongue he licked over it, causing her breath to hitch.

“Jay….Cee…” she breathed, clenching her eyes shut. The fingers of one hand twisted in his hair while her other fingers clutched at the pillow beneath her head. 

JC quit teasing and licked her clit in short strokes. He added a second finger, sinking deep. His dick gave a twitch. She continued to squirm as he brought her close to orgasm. Dipping his free hand beneath her thigh, he placed his hand on her hip. Fingers soon grabbed his and he spread his fingers allowing her to thread them together. He held them tight as he moved his fingers and tongue faster. Her breath was coming out faster and he knew she was close. Removing his fingers, he copied the same position as his other arm. He straightened his tongue, burying it inside her as deep as it could go. Sneaking a peak at her, he knew he would never forget how she looked - her back arched, her head tossed back, her lips parted in a silent shout. Closing his eyes, he doubled his efforts. He moved his tongue over her clit faster and faster. Her hips moved against his face, seeking a rhythm they hadn’t danced to yet. He closed his mouth over her clit and sucked. 

Rachel’s orgasm burst forth. She came with a cry. Her fingers gripped his hair, holding his face to her as he continued to lick her clit; his movements soft and gentle as he worked her through her orgasm. She pushed him away when she became too sensitive; her body spasmed with every touch. She sucked in oxygen. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. Feeling kisses being pressed to her stomach, she opened her eyes and looked down, meeting JC’s sparkling blue ones. “Come here,” she said and guided him back to her lips. As they kissed she felt his dick pressed against her thigh. “Please,” she whispered against his lips, shifting so he would settle between her legs.

“Are you okay?” JC asked, pushing up on his elbows. 

“Better than okay,” Rachel smiled at him and drew him back into a kiss. She shifted her hips, rubbing against him. His hips shot forward, pressing his dick against her. He groaned. “I need you…” she whispered. She turned her head to the side and reached a hand out, but she couldn’t quite reach the bedside table from where she lay in the bed. “I’m on the pill but with what’s going on this past week, I’ve missed days…”

JC leaned down and kissed her. When he broke the kiss he twisted the top half of his body off her and reached for the bedside drawer. His fingers just reached the handle and he pulled it open. Inside was an unopened box of condoms. Sliding his finger in the flap, he opened the box and withdrew a strip. 

“Setting a lofty goal for yourself.” Rachel teased when JC moved back to her with the condoms in hand. 

JC laughed as he tore off one square packet and tossed the others aside. “Trust me,” he said as he sat back on his haunches. “It’s not gonna take us long to go through that box.”

Rachel blushed at the look he sent her. It filled every recess in her body; warmed her. When he was sheathed he settled back over her. She cupped his face again, staring into his eyes. “I love you JC. I don’t even have the words to describe how I feel about you.”

“If it’s anything close to how I feel about you, I know exactly how you feel.” He kissed her. “I love you.” He fisted his dick and positioned himself outside her entrance. He groaned when he slid in to her. Hands reached for him and he lowered himself over her letting Rachel wrap her arms around him. A moan filtered out when her hips moved and he sank deeper in to her. He buried his face in her neck.

Rachel’s fingernails dug into his shoulders as she clutched him to her. She clenched her muscles around him causing him to press his hips into her. She dipped her hands beneath his arms and ran them down his back, then trailing them up his sides. Her fingers nails scratched lightly at his skin. She rolled her hips and was rewarded when JC moved his.

JC picked his head up, bracing himself on his elbows on either side of her head. His hips moved in small movements. The motion so slight he barely moved inside of her, but he could feel her clenching around him. The tip of his nose moved across her cheek. His lips were parted, releasing hot air. He reached her mouth, giving her a teasing kiss; lips brushed across hers so light he couldn’t be certain they even met. They held the position, breathing the same hot air as he pulled from her body and slowly sank back in. Their breathily moans mixed.

“God… JC…” She traced her hands back down his sides, clutching his hips, pulling him in harder and faster. Her groan was swallowed by him when he finally pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was hot. It was filthy. Tongues met and fought. They both tried to control the kiss. Neither wanted to give in. Her hands stayed on his hips, following his movement as he rocked in to her. “Fuck…” she broke the kiss and tilted her head back. She bit her bottom lip as pleasure rolled through her. 

JC moved to her neck that was revealed to him when she arched back. He covered every inch of skin with kisses. When he got to the skin behind her ear, her fingers clenched his hips harder sure to leave marks. He trailed his lips down, nibbling at her collar bone. Her moans and little gasps spurred him on. His hips moved faster; hers rising to meet him. They settled into a rhythm. It was faster than he liked, but he had been waiting a long time for this moment. There would be plenty of other times when they could go for slow.

He latched onto her breast, drawing a nipple into his mouth as he sucked and licked. He cupped her other breast, rolling the nipple around between his thumb and forefinger. When he pinched it, Rachel arched into him. A hand went into his hair, fingers carding through the short strands to the back of his head. She pressed him against her breast, her breath hitching. He let the nipple fall from his mouth and sat back. Her hands fell from his body to the bed. He watched her fingers clench and unclench in the sheet beneath her. Her head was still tilted back with her eyes closed. The bottom lip was still drawn beneath her teeth. He groaned at the picture she made and snapped his hips forward. Gripping her raised knees with his hands, he tilted his head back and bit back a moan. His breath came out in heavy grunts. His heart was beating fast, pumping wildly in his chest. He opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his chest and looked down seeing Rachel staring at him. Her pupils were blown wide. He fell forward catching himself on his hands and captured her lips again. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he moaned into the kiss. “Shit…” The word escaped when he felt the familiar pull. He clenched his eyes shut and buried his face in her neck once again.

“JC…” Rachel whispered. Her arms wrapped around him, hugging him to her. She dropped her feet back to the bed and met him thrust for thrust. 

“I can’t…” JC turned his head when he felt Rachel’s face turn toward him seeking his lips. He kissed her hard, teeth mashing. He rose up onto an elbow, working his hand behind her neck. 

“JC…” she moaned, her hand clutching at the sweat slick skin on his back. “I need…” and then she was there. Her orgasm hit her and she came with a cry of release. 

Rachel clenched around him hard. He slammed into her twice more before he was coming with a shout, shooting into the condom separating them. He collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily. She welcomed his weight, keeping her arms around him, holding him to her body. 

“That makes me wish I was fifteen years younger so I could do that again.”

Rachel laughed at his words and held him tighter. “It will happen sooner than you think.”

“Not as soon as I want it to.” He heard her snort in laughter and lifted his head, grinning down at her. “I love you.” He brushed back the few strands of hair from her face that had come lose from her bun.

“I love you,” she lifted her head and kissed him softly. Her hands cupped either side of his face, keeping him from breaking the kiss.

“Hold that thought,” JC whispered against her lips. He kissed her again because she was there and pushed himself up from the bed. With a hand holding the condom in place, he went into the bathroom to clean up. Tossing the condom in the trash can, he washed his hands. When he returned to the bedroom, Rachel was waiting under the covers. He smiled when she met his gaze. Crawling under the covers he turned to pull her into his arms, but she was already there snuggling into his side like it was made for her. 

To him, it was.


	25. Chapter 25

Rachel sat at the foot of JC’s bed Saturday morning scrolling her phone listening to JC sing in the shower. He would sing a few lines then fall into ones filled with la’s, da’s, dee’s, and dums. It brought a smile to her face. The fragrance from the products he was using floated out into the room. She breathed deeply letting the scents fill her. 

The morning had gotten off to a late start. Wrapped in each others arms cocooned beneath warm blankets, they found it hard to leave her bed. Her mind had yelled out for coffee, but her heart had overruled. They laid in her bed, talking softly and trading kisses. Most of the condoms JC had pulled from the box were still attached to the strip. They hadn’t come close to the lofty goals. Rachel had blamed the fact that she hadn’t slept the night before and hadn’t been sleeping well since Mississippi. The talking between them had grown shorter and the kisses longer. It wasn’t long before JC had rolled over and taken her once more.

His phone had roused them again; vibrating incessantly in his pants pocket wadded up on her bedroom floor. It had been Heather. And Tyler. And Lance. McKenzie hadn’t been kidding when she told them they were going to lunch. The messages had been teasing and borderline vulgar. It made Rachel hope Lance either deleted them or kept his phone from McKenzie if she felt the need to text JC. The last thing she needed was for her to read what Lance had sent. Ditching the brunch was out of the question since JC had ditched his family the night before. While she wanted to shut her bedroom door and lock out the world, she knew it wasn’t possible. There had been a lot of regret on her part when she climbed from the bed to take a shower. So much so, when she turned to look at him at the bathroom door, she couldn’t help but go back. She hit the bed and crawled on her hands and knees up the mattress and over him where he was waiting with a kiss and more. 

That had led her rushing through her shower and getting ready while he had to explain to his family they would just meet them at the restaurant; to not wait for them. His house had been empty when they arrived. He went to his bedroom to shower and change. She followed unable to be away from him. Their relationship felt different today than it had before. Even before the break up and before Mississippi. It felt more real. More solid. Like before was just what could be. Today it was what they were. She couldn’t have asked for a better birthday gift though it was still a couple weeks away.

_‘Will you get off him already and get your asses here? We are starving!’_

Rachel rolled her eyes as she read the text from Lance. _‘Go ahead and order. JC’s almost done.’_

 _‘I bet he is.’_ Lance replied with a winking emoji.

_‘Before you even think about letting my daughter have your phone, you better delete any perverse, sexual undertone, and downright crass messages you sent me or JC.’_

_‘You’re no fun.’_

_‘Give us 15 minutes.’_

Rachel looked up when JC walked from his bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. She swallowed roughly and was tempted to text Lance back amending the time frame.

“Now that’s a look that’s gonna get me in to trouble,” JC felt her look down deep. He had to force himself to move to his dresser and not toward her and his bed. He dropped the towel and pulled on his briefs. When he turned around he saw Rachel still looking at him. “You really gotta stop looking at me like that,” he groaned. 

“Sorry,” Rachel grinned, not even remotely sorry at all. She tore her eyes away and looked down at her phone. If she continued looking at him, she knew they wouldn’t make it to lunch. 

_‘How are you doing today?’_

Rachel read the message from Melissa and grinned. Her friend had no idea what happened after she had left. _‘I am freaking amazing!’_

_‘How much wine have you had????’_

Rachel snorted at Melissa’s response. _‘I’m not drunk on wine. I’m drunk on looooove.’_

_‘That’s it. I’m coming over.’_

“What are you giggling about?”

“Melissa thinks I’ve gone off the deep end.” Rachel looked up her breath catching in her throat when she saw him dressed in medium wash jeans, camel colored shoes, a plain dark grey t-shirt with an olive utility jacket. “And I may have…”

JC smirked as he put his watch on, looking at the time before he fastened it. They needed to hurry. “You ready?” He asked as he put on his cologne.

“Yeah.” She pushed herself off the bed. “You look amazing. Smell great too.” The shower products didn’t compare to the scent of the cologne he had just put on. She imagined laying in his bed, with all the scents surrounding her, engulfing her.

“What did I tell you about looking at me like that?”

“Sorry.”

“Yeah I don’t think you’re really all that sorry.” JC grabbed his phone, wallet, and car keys from the top of his dresser. His wallet went in his back pocket, while he slid his phone into his front. With his keys in one hand, he placed the other on Rachel’s back ushering her from the room. 

Rachel climbed into the passenger seat in JC’s car once they entered the garage and buckled her seat belt. Her phone vibrated in her hand as JC climbed in. 

“Tell them we are on our way,” JC rolled his eyes as he buckled in and started his car.

“It’s not Lance,” Rachel responded as JC backed out of the garage and pulled away from his house. “It’s Melissa.” 

_‘Where the hell are you? I’m in your house. Your car is here. You are not here.’_

_‘I’m not home.’_

_‘No shit!!’_

“She’s having a coronary because I’m not home.” 

“Did you have plans?”

“After yesterday she probably thinks I’m still drowning in tears.” Rachel told JC as she typed out a text to Melissa. _‘I’m with JC. He came over last night after you left. We made up.’_

“What happened yesterday before I came over?” He spared her a glance as he navigated the twists and turns of his road coming down out of the hills.

Before Rachel could respond, her phone went off. Melissa was calling. “Yes?” 

“What do you mean you and JC made up? When? How? What the hell? I didn’t leave until almost nine. Why didn’t you call me!” 

Melissa’s voice was loud and Rachel would have been shocked if JC hadn’t heard it word for word. “Which question do you want me to answer first?”

“I swear to God if you don’t answer me right now…”

“JC and I made up. We’re together.” She cringed and pulled the phone away from her ear when Melissa shrieked. “Last night after you left. You have three kids, I don’t have to explain how. I didn’t call you because I was busy.”

Melissa shrieked again. “Oh my God! Seriously! You and JC finally did the nasty? It’s about fucking time! So what are you doing now? Are you still in bed? Lord knows I would be after wanting a man for fifteen years.” 

Rachel laughed and shook her head. “We’re headed to Estrella for lunch with everyone.”

“Everyone? I wasn’t invited,” Melissa said miffed. She pulled Rachel’s front door close, making sure the door was locked and walked back to her vehicle in the driveway.

“Lance, Michael, Kenzi, JC’s parents, his brother and sister, their spouses. I’d say you can come too, but we’ve already kept them waiting long enough. For you guys to drive from Calabasas.”

“Yeah yeah,” Melissa backed from Rachel’s driveway and headed home. “I take it you’re busy today then?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t gotten passed lunch. Why?”

“Briahna and Kenzi.”

“Oh… yeah. We gotta do something. She spent the night at Lance’s last night. I’ll talk to her and let you know. See if we can’t get them fixed before school on Monday.”

“Great. I’m really happy for you Rachel.”

“Thanks,” Rachel smiled.

“Why don’t you be my girlfriend I’ll treat ya good…” Melissa sang loudly over the phone. 

“Bye Mel,” Rachel laughed as she ended the phone call. “McKenzie mention Briahna at all last night?”

“No,” JC shook his head. The light turned green and he turned on to Sunset. The restaurant was just up ahead. “Why?”

“They apparently had a huge fight on Thursday at school. It was so bad McKenzie skipped track practice after school. They haven’t made up yet.”

“She didn’t mention anything about it.” JC pulled down a side street before the restaurant then turned across traffic entering a small parking lot near the rear. “Do you know what the fight was about?”

“Us I think.” Rachel said as she climbed from the car and met JC at the back. They held hands and they walked through the parking lot toward the restaurant that Lance had part ownership.

“Us?” JC asked surprised. “Why would they be fighting about us?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Hey! It’s about time!” Lance called when he saw his sister and JC coming up. They were seated at the outside tables. The tables had been shoved together to accommodate them all.

“I said we’d be here in fifteen minutes. We made it in thirteen.” They had to walk inside to get to the patio seating. On their way to the patio, they were stopped twice by someone who wanted a picture with JC. When they finally got to the patio they were surrounded. McKenzie was the first to meet them. 

“Mom!” McKenzie hugged her mother tightly. 

“Kenzi,” Rachel hugged her daughter just as tightly. “You were busy yesterday,” she whispered softly so only McKenzie could hear.

McKenzie laughed, feeling a lump rise in her throat. She fought against the tears. She didn’t want to start crying. Didn’t want to bring lunch down. “I didn’t want to ruin your dream again.”

“You didn’t ruin it the first time.” Rachel told her and drew back. “It just changed in to something I didn’t know I wanted.”

McKenzie grinned and released her mom, turning her attention to JC. “I knew you could do it.”

Her statement caused everyone to laugh. JC pulled her in to a hug. “Thanks for the confidence.” 

“You didn’t need it,” McKenzie shrugged as she pulled away. “I saw the sketchbooks in the attic.” 

JC opened his mouth to ask about the sketchbooks he keeps hearing about, but McKenzie spoke faster. “Uncle Lance and I brought you something for Monday.” She ducked around the table and back to her seat where she grabbed the t-shirt laying over the arm of the chair 

“I’m almost afraid to look at this,” JC said as he accepted the blue shirt from McKenzie.

“Well, it’s more from me. He just helped,” McKenzie explained.

JC unfolded the shirt seeing it was the school shirt everyone had been wearing at the track meet on Wednesday. He grinned. “I love it,” he said, pulling her into a one armed hugged.

“Look at the back,” Lance grinned.

JC turned the shirt around and laughed. At the top across his shoulders was the name Bass. “You like that don’t you?”

“I find it amusing,” Lance chuckled. 

“You would.” JC laughed. “It’s great Kenz. I can’t wait to wear it Monday.”

“Rachel!” Karen held out her arms and drew the woman into a hug. “It’s so good to see you! It’s been too long.”

“It has,” Rachel gave a soft laugh as she accepted Karen’s hug. “I don’t even remember the last time I saw you. Probably not since I moved back to Mississippi.”

“At least that long,” Karen said with a smile when she released her. “Kenzi is just an amazing girl.”

Rachel’s smile grew wider. “Thank you!”

“We’ve enjoyed hearing about her these last few weeks from JC. I hope you don’t, I send her a friend request on Facebook.”

“Oh no, that’s fine. She’ll accept it when she gets her phone privileges back tomorrow.” Rachel moved down the line hugging Roy, then Heather. She met Heather’s husband, Drew. Tyler was last and she gave him a huge grin. “Tyler…”

“Hey,” Tyler hugged her. He had hung out with JC a lot during the group years. They had become friends, bonding over being siblings to famous boybanders.

“You haven’t changed a bit.” She grinned.

“That’s a lie.” Tyler laughed. “I’ve lost my hair. My pants are bigger now.”

Rachel laughed and hugged him again. After he introduced her to his wife Sarah, they all took their seats.

“Can we order now? I’m starving!” McKenzie said sitting between JC and Lance. 

“I told you guys not to wait for us. You could have ordered.” Rachel spoke as she browsed the menu after giving her drink order to the waiter, who had been waiting patiently through the greetings.

“I tried. I was outvoted,” McKenzie mumbled.

“JC says you guys are visiting for the week?” Rachel said once everyone had given their orders. “Do you have any plans?” Everyone started talking at once and she just laughed. Feeling a hand touch her thigh, she dropped her hand to cover it and met JC’s gaze. His eyes were sparkling with happiness and laughter. She squeezed his hand and gave him a smile. With his hand still in hers, she turned her attention back to the table and let the conversation wash over her.

*~* 

“I am so tired.” McKenzie groaned as she fell face first on the living room couch. 

“Probably from the pound of sugar you ate this afternoon,” Rachel chuckled as she walked into the room after locking the front door. “I still can’t believe you didn’t blow chunks on Space Mountain after scarfing down all those pancakes.”

After eating lunch there was much debate on what the plan of the day was. Rachel tried to excuse her and McKenzie from the plans not wanting to jump in on their family time. That didn’t go over well with the entire Chasez clan. They were so affronted at her excluding herself and McKenzie as family, Rachel had spent ten minutes apologizing, much to the delight of Michael and Lance who had sat back laughing. Until they had been roped in as well.

Eventually it had boiled down to Universal and DisneyLand before McKenzie became the deciding factor. She had chosen DisneyLand. That had resulted in going back to JC’s, where everyone changed into something more conducive to a day of walking the park. JC ditched his dressier shoes for a pair of converse. He had lent her a t-shirt to change in to. She had worn a silk button up collared shirt with a light white sweater over it and a jean jacket. The collared shirt and sweater went, but she put the jean jacket back over the t-shirt – white with a distressed Mickey Mouse. Appropriate. From JC’s house they rearranged seating arrangements in the cars which was a production in and of itself. It finally worked out with Heather, Sarah, Karen and McKenzie in one car. Roy, Drew, and Tyler in the other rental. She and JC piled in with Lance and Michael. 

“I can’t believe you wimped out going on Space Mountain.” 

“I would have definitely blown chunks.” Rachel laughed. “Why don’t you go up to bed?” McKenzie had fallen asleep in the car on the way back to JC’s from Disneyland. Lance and Michael had to leave early. That left her and JC squeezing into the other cars. She had been at the mercy of his mom and sister for the hour and a half car ride while he had gotten away free being in the ‘man car’ as Heather had called it. When they arrived back at JC’s everyone had been beat. There were quick goodbyes before JC had loaded her and McKenzie up in his car to take them home. McKenzie had fallen asleep then too; laid out across the backseat holding the stuffed Mickey Mouse JC had bought her.

“I’m too tired to move,” McKenzie mumbled folding her arms underneath her. 

Rachel knew exactly how her daughter felt. She didn’t know how many miles they ended up walking all together, but her feet were killing her. The flats she wore weren’t made for walking long distances, but she had been stuck. JC could lend her clothes. He couldn’t lend her shoes. They had hit every attraction in the park staying until closing. Once the fireworks show over Cinderella’s Castle was finished, they headed toward the exit with most of the crowd.

The crowd was dense and they all tried to stay together. JC had held her hand tightly in his, making sure she stayed close to his side. They both made sure McKenzie had stayed directly in front of them. It had them thinking they should have waited for the first rush to died down before making their way to the gate. The rush meant a jam packed parking lot as everyone tried to get to Interstate 5. Rachel had been a little disappointed that she and JC had been separated for the drive home. McKenzie had used her shoulder as a pillow. She had taken a selfie and sent it to JC who had responded with hearts and saying how he didn’t mind that one as much as he did the one with Michael.

“Aren’t you too old to be receiving stuffed animals as gifts?”

Rachel looked down to the stuffed animal in her hand. Ariel. Her favorite Disney princess. JC had ducked into a gift shop toward the end of the night before the fireworks were set to begin. When he caught back up with them, he had the Mickey Mouse for McKenzie and Ariel for her. She couldn’t remember if she had ever told him Ariel was her favorite. She must have because he knew. She smiled. “Sweetie, make sure the man you want to marry buys you silly little gifts. Those are the ones that you treasure the most.”

When she was finally able to rouse McKenzie from the couch and send her to bed, Rachel wasn’t long behind her. The day had caught up with her in the drive back to her house from JC’s. Leaving DisneyLand, the ride had been filled with conversation to keep her engaged. With JC though, it had been a comfortable silence. McKenzie had quickly fallen asleep. They held hands on the gear shift, listening to the radio softly playing. Exhaustion had been able to sneak in. 

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she sat on the bed and slid the flats off her feet. She groaned as she wiggled her toes. Vowing not to wear any shoes tomorrow, she stood up and unfastened the grey jeggings and pushed them down her legs. Stepping from them she slid the jean jacket down her arms and reached for the hem of her shirt before she stopped. Raising her head, she stared at the mirror on the antique vanity table. Mickey Mouse stared back at her. JC’s shirt. The tops she wore to lunch were still laying on his bed. They had never even gone inside when they got back. Just crawled from one car and in to the next. Deciding to sleep in the t-shirt, she dumped the other clothes in the hamper and crawled in to bed. Turning the lamp off, she settled on the pillows and snuggled until the blankets. 

JC.

She closed her eyes and breathed. Her bed smelled like JC. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around the pillow he had used and held it to her. For the millionth time in her life, she wished he was there for her to hold instead of a pillow. For the first time, however, her pillow smelled like him because he had been there. In her bed. For her to hold. She missed him. After one night her bed felt empty. She felt lonely. And again, she wished he was there with her.

Rolling over, she grabbed her phone from the bedside table. Pulling up her text messages she hesitated. Her thumb hovered over the keyboard. _‘To hell with it,’_ she thought and tapped the letters.

_‘My bed feels empty without you. I miss you.’_

After sending the text, Rachel browsed the photos on her phone. She had taken so many over the course the day from their lunch at Estrella to Disney. There were lots of silly photos of her with Heather and Sarah. They had become fast friends and had made plans to hangout later in the week. Just the three of them. There was a capture of Roy and Karen that she wanted to turn in to a painting for them. She made a mental note to find out their anniversary. There was also a photo of JC, Heather, and Tyler that she wanted to recreate. She couldn’t even remember why they were standing together and where everyone else was. Tyler had been telling a story laughing just as much as JC and Heather. When she finished the recreations, they would make great Christmas gifts.

That made her pause. Christmas was eight months away and she was already thinking about gifts for JC’s family. She needed slow her thoughts down. There was so much that could happen between now and the December holiday. 

_‘You don’t know how much I wanted to stay.’_

The text popped up and made her smile. _‘My bed smells like you.’_

JC heard his phone vibrate in the cup holder as he neared his house. The drive back from Rachel’s had been uneventful and quick thanks to the late hour. It had also been lonely and quiet. It was a different quiet than what had blanketed the car on the drive to Calabasas. He could feel both Rachel and McKenzie in his car; had a tangible link to Rachel as he held her hand. On the drive home there had been no link. The only presence in the car was his own. Even the radio couldn’t drown out the loneliness. 

He hit the button for his garage and slowed down. Since it was late, he left his car running and walked them to their door. He hugged a drowsy, half asleep McKenzie and kissed the top of her head while Rachel unlocked the door. When McKenzie filed in the house, he drew Rachel into his arms. It had taken everything he had to let her go; to send her off with a kiss. If it hadn’t been for his family visiting, he could have stayed in Calabasas. Instead of hugs and kisses at the door, he would have followed them in. He could have kept them at his house after a long, tiring day at Disney. He wouldn’t have had to make the long drive to Rachel’s. McKenzie could have picked one of the guest bedrooms. Rachel would have been tucked into his bed, in his arms.

 _‘Least I’m not coming home to an empty house,’_ he thought as he closed the garage door. He grabbed his phone and climbed from his car. Inside, his mother had left a light on for him and he smiled. He didn’t linger. He stayed long enough to make sure everything was locked and the alarm was on before he climbed the stairs. Feint snoring could be heard coming from the other bedroom that occupied the top floor with his own. Another smile graced his lips as he shook his head and made his way quickly down the hall. His father maintained for years he didn’t snore. It had become a running joke. 

He closed his bedroom door, the latch echoing softly into the night. Using the knowledge of living in the house for fourteen years, he walked across the dark bedroom snapping on the lamp next to his bed. When he turned around he saw the clothes laying across the foot of his bed. He had forgotten Rachel had even changed. Picking the tops up, he folded them neatly and placed them atop his dresser. His watch and wallet followed, as well as his car keys. He tossed the jacket he wore on the chair he had in his bedroom that was used more for catching clothes than it was for sitting and stripped down to his briefs. 

After snapping the light off, he crawled beneath the blankets and picked up his phone and read the text. _‘I wish my bed smelled like you.’_

_‘I’ll have to come and roll around in it.’ ’Wait… that’s not what I meant.’_

JC grinned at the messages. _‘Are you blushing?’_

_‘You know I am.’_

He did and he loved it.

_‘When do your visitors leave?’_

_‘Saturday.’_

_‘You free on that Monday?’_

_‘Yes.’_

_‘Good. I drop McKenzie off at 7:30. I’ll be at your house at 8:30. Leave your door unlocked and stay in bed.'_


	26. Chapter 26

When Rachel opened her bedroom door Sunday morning, McKenzie was standing right there. She had a huge grin on her face and her hand held out. Excitement was causing her to bounce.

“Can I help you?”

“Can I have it?”

“Have what?”

“Mooooom,” McKenzie groaned. “Come on.”

Rachel chuckled and went back in her room. She pulled McKenzie’s phone from the drawer in the table next to her bed. She could feel the excitement coming off her daughter. “I have a feeling I’m not going to see you all day now.”

“You’re seeing me right now.” 

Rachel scoffed and placed McKenzie’s phone in her daughter’s hand. Before McKenzie could snatch it away, Rachel tightened her hold on it and waited for McKenzie to meet her eyes. “No more running away?”

McKenzie sighed. “No more running away Mom. I promise.”

“Good.” She still didn’t released her hold. “You’ll come to me if you’re struggling?”

“Yes Mom.” McKenzie sighed, anxious to get her phone back.

“You’ll always take the garbage out?”

“Mom,” McKenzie drew out with a groan and rolled her eyes.

“It was worth a shot,” Rachel shrugged and let go of the phone.

“Thanks Mom!” McKenzie kissed her mother’s cheek and quickly rushed down the hallway to her bedroom.

Rachel chuckled and shook her head and made her way downstairs. In the kitchen she started the coffee pot. Waiting for the coffee, she put a bagel in the toaster and grabbed the cream cheese from the fridge. She was pouring herself a cup of coffee when McKenzie appeared. “Do you want me to make you some dip eggs?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong?” Rachel asked, looking up at her daughter. 

“Briahna’s mad at me.” McKenzie mumbled. “I don’t have any messages from her. Yesterday she was hanging out with Hannah. She hates Hannah. At least she did…” She sighed and leaned against the counter. On her phone she had quickly browsed through her text messages and her social media pages. There had been nothing from Briahna. Then she had gone to Briahna’s Instagram and saw the photos.

“Oh sweetie,” Rachel placed her coffee cup at the table with her bagel and went back to her daughter. She pulled her in to a hug. “You want to tell me what happened between you guys?”

“She wouldn’t talk to me all day on Thursday. She didn’t even sit with me at lunch. I had to sit by myself. After school I had to beg her to talk to me and even then she didn’t want to. She told me that I was a jerk and a brat. That I was treating everyone terribly. I didn’t even know about you and JC… she told me. She told me it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault. What happened between JC and I was not your fault.” Rachel drew her daughter into another hug. “JC and I were just trying to do what we thought was best to help you. You weren’t really receptive of him and we thought it was just easier if he wasn’t around.”

“I didn’t know how to act around him,” McKenzie confessed. “I wanted him to be my father so bad. When I found out he wasn’t and that he knew what I wanted… I was embarrassed. I didn’t know what he thought of me.”

“He loves you.”

“I know.” McKenzie smiled at her mom. “Did he tell you what we talked about on Friday?”

Rachel shook her head. “That’s between you and him. He just told me you guys talked and fixed your relationship.”

McKenzie thought about what Lance and Michael had said to her as well as what JC said. “Does JC and Uncle Lance know who he is?”

Rachel hadn’t been expecting the question. She froze before she forced herself to relax. “Yes. I told them.” She waited for McKenzie to keep speaking but she didn’t. 

“Mom?” McKenzie asked, breaking the silence. She raised her head to look at her mother. McKenzie saw the same yellow-green eyes staring back at her that she saw when she looked in the mirror. “I don’t want to know who it is.”

“It’s your decision, Sweetie.”

“I don’t ever want to know.” McKenzie said firmly. “I don’t want to know his name. I don’t want to know who he is, where he’s from. I don’t want to know anything about him. He’s not my father. He has nothing to do with me. Uncle Lance said he’s just a piece to the puzzle of me that doesn’t fit.”

“Uncle Lance is pretty smart.” Rachel gave her daughter a watery smile. “Just because you’ve made this decision now, doesn’t mean you can’t change it later. Any time you want to know…”

“No,” McKenzie shook her head, interrupting her mother. “I’m not going to change my mind. He has nothing to do with me. He may have provided what was needed to make me, but he has nothing to do with me. He doesn’t matter and not worth my time thinking about him.” She faltered. The firmness of her tone wavered. “I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

“You won’t Sweetie.” Rachel hugged her again.

“She’s really angry with me. I didn’t mean to be a jerk.”

“I know. And Briahna knows that too, okay? You’re just gonna have to apologize to her okay. Explain to her what you were going through and how you felt.”

“You sure that’s enough?”

“It was enough for the rest of us,” Rachel smiled.

“Thanks Mom.” McKenzie hugged her mother one final time before taking the steps two at a time back to her room. Shutting the door she flopped down on her bed and took a deep breath before typing out a text to Briahna.

_‘Hey.’_

McKenzie waited for a few minutes but Briahna never responded. She bit her lip. She sent another text. _‘I’m sorry.’_ Briahna still didn’t reply. _‘Come on Bri. I really am sorry.’_

McKenzie didn’t know what she’d do if Briahna didn’t forgive her. She was her best friend. She was the reason California was fun. Having Briahna as a friend made moving away from all her friends and family much more bearable. If she stopped behind her friend… Tears welled in McKenzie’s eyes. Who would she sit with at lunch? Who would she tell all her secrets too? Who would she have sleepovers with where they stayed up all night laughing and giggling? Who was gonna be her duet partner when she sang into her hairbrush? Who would she go to college with and share a dorm with? Who would be the maid of honor at her wedding?

_‘Open your door.’_

She stared at the text from Briahna confused. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she jumped off her bed and rushed across the room and swung her door open. There was no one there.

_‘The front door.’_

Rushing down the stairs, she nearly tripped and fell in her excitement. Ignoring her mother’s ‘What on earth?’ she ran to the front door, sliding across the hardwood floor coming to a stop at the door. She threw it open and there was Briahna. Smiling. Briahna was smiling. McKenzie grinned. Then they were hugging and laughing.

“Hallelujah,” Joey said rolling his eyes toward the sky. Next to him Melissa laughed.

“Praise Jesus,” Melissa echoed.

“Can I get an amen?” Kloey laughed.

“You guys going door to door spreading the Lord’s word now?” Rachel asked as she came up to the door, holding her cup of coffee. 

“We’d like to talk with you about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

“We have it on good authority that you need saving,” Melissa giggled. “It’s come to our attention that you took the Lord’s name in vain recently… many times.” 

Rachel blushed. “How exactly did this come to your attention? You have a camera in my bedroom?”

“No,” Melissa sent a look to her husband when he opened his mouth. 

“No, but after fifteen years of pent up frustration it was an easy guess,” Joey teased. “Probably wasn’t the only thing you took in…” He laughed when Melissa slapped him across the chest with the back of her hand. “They aren’t even paying attention,” he said as he rubbed a hand on his chest. Briahna and McKenzie were whispering quietly together, ignoring everyone. 

“Get in here before my neighbors overhear you as they leave for church,” Rachel opened the door wider and moved aside. 

“No amount of praying will save Joey’s soul,” Melissa laughed as she ushered Kloey inside. “Come on girls,” she called to McKenzie and Briahna.

“What are you guys doing out and about so early? Where’s Caleb?”

“Spending the day with my parents.” Melissa said as they went into the kitchen and she helped herself to a cup of coffee. “We are heading to Universal and you and McKenzie are coming with us.”

“Really!” McKenzie’s excitement drowned out Rachel’s groan. “I’ll go get ready! Come on!” She grabbed Briahna’s arm and pulled her to the stairs.

“Do I have to?” Rachel’s whine rivaled a teenager.

“Yes. You don’t get a say in the matter.”

“But I spent the whole day yesterday walking Disney.”

“Maybe you should have invited us.”

“Yeah. You start,” Joey paused and covered Kloey’s ears with his hands. “Banging JC and you don’t want to hang out with us anymore.”

“I still heard you Daddy.” Kloey grinned up at him.

Joey bent down so he was nose to nose with his middle child. “I know, but you weren’t supposed to be listening.” He said as she giggled.

“What were you gonna do if the girls hadn’t made up?”

“They were coming anyway.”

“Joey was gonna do _‘Gangnam Style’_ once we got to Universal.”

“Damn, I almost wish they didn’t make up just to see that.”

“Heeyyyyyy sexy lady,” Joey sang as he attempted to do the dance while his wife and Rachel dissolved into giggles.

“Do that in the middle of Universal and Briahna will file for emancipation.” Rachel laughed.

“Not if she still wants to go to Justin’s concert in August.”

“And Taylor Swift concert in August, and can’t forget the One Direction concert in September.”

“God,” Rachel groaned, finishing her cup of coffee and putting the mug in the sink. “It’s a shame they don’t know a real boy band.’

“Backstreet Boys are currently touring.” 

“The Backstreet Boys are currently touring,” Joey mimicked. “Nice try. But Rachel said real boy band.”

“The fuck you say!” Rachel exclaimed. “Are they coming to LA? How the hell didn’t I know this? Screw the kids, we need to go!” She grabbed her phone from the table and quickly started searching their tour dates. “They’re in San Diego on the 28th… Vegas on the 30th and 31st…” she looked up meeting Melissa’s eyes with a gleam in her own. 

“Vegas here we come!” Melissa exclaimed and gave Rachel a high five.

“Now wait just a minute,” Joey said. “We are not going to Vegas.”

“You’re not. We are,” Melissa grinned.

“What are you guys so excited about?” Briahna asked as she and McKenzie walked back in to the kitchen.

“Vegas baby!” Melissa laughed. 

“Are we going to Vegas? When?” McKenzie asked her mom.

“Oh you’re not,” Rachel laughed as she pulled up tickets. “Friday night concert or Saturday night?”

“What concert?” 

“Backstreet Boys.” 

“Who?” McKenzie asked.

“Ohhhhh,” Melissa stared McKenzie. “You poor child. You poor deprived child. Your mother has failed you.”

Briahna rolled her eyes. “Backstreet Boys are the boyband that was big when NSYNC was. Back in the 90s.”

“We were bigger.” Joey said. 

“Then how come they are still on tour?” McKenzie asked. Her question caused Melissa and Rachel to giggle. “Why aren’t you guys still touring? They are.”

“Backstreet Boys didn’t have Justin Timberlake in their group.” Melissa said as she leaned over to stare at Rachel’s phone.

“No but they have Nick Carter who is a thousand times better.” Rachel said as she tapped on tickets for the Friday concert.

“No one comes close to my B-Rok.”

“Uh hello?” Joey spoke up. “Aren’t we supposed to be going to Universal?”

“In a minute,” Melissa waved her hand in the air without sparing him a glance. “We can spend the whole weekend in Vegas. See the Boys, hit the casinos…”

“You can’t go for the whole weekend,” McKenzie broke in. “We are have that cook out at Lance’s… like we did last year? Like we always did in Mississippi. You can’t miss it.”

Rachel looked at her daughter and saw the emotions on her face. In Mississippi they always got together on Memorial Day at her parents to have a cook out. The morning was spent at the local National cemetery paying their respects to the military members who scarified their lives. The afternoon and into the evening was at the Bass house for food, drinks, games, swimming, and lots of laughter and fun. The first year they spent in California was lonely. McKenzie was depressed she was missing out on the day. Rachel and Lance had decided to have their own cook out. Lance hosted the cook out because he had a pool. He invited a lot of his friends and their families. The Fatones also came. 

“We can fly to Vegas on Friday and come back Sunday morning.” Melissa said knowing how much the cook out meant to McKenzie. 

“Right. We’ll be back for the cook out Monday.” Rachel assured her daughter. When McKenzie nodded, she purchased the tickets. 

“I’m telling JC you’re mooning over another man,” Joey teased.

“Mom’s mooning too.” Kloey giggled. 

“Maybe JC and I should tag along…” Joey mused. “Make sure you ladies don’t throw your panties on stage.”

“Come on Joey,” Melissa said. “Like we would ever.”

“And for your information, ladies do not throw their underwear on stage.”

“We’d flash our boobs.”

“Mom!” Briahna exclaimed. Her eyes were wide.

“You’d flash your boobs at a concert?” McKenzie’s eyes were just as wide as she asked her mother the question.

“Shy Rachel Bass from Mississippi flash her boobs at anyone let alone at a concert?” Joey asked, laughing. “No way. She’s too pure for that.”

“What about you Mom? You ever flash anyone?”

“Just your father.” Melissa said dryly. “Now about this Universal trip…” She changed the conversation topic not wanting to continue discussing boobs and boys in front of her daughter and her best friend’s daughter. They didn’t need to be getting any ideas before they went to their own boy band concert.

“I need to shower first.”

Joey groaned and flopped down on the kitchen chair at Rachel’s words. “We’re never getting out of here.”

“Oh hush. I’ll be back in twenty.”

*~*

JC swiped through the photos McKenzie had posted on Facebook. There were a million selfies with Briahna that made him smile. He was happy to see the two teenagers had made up. She had posted photos of her and Rachel. Photos of Joey and Melissa. It looked like their day at Universal had been a blast. He felt left out and wished he had been there.

“I bet before the year is out, they are living together.” Tyler drew the cards to him and started shuffling. 

“What?” JC asked, lifting his head up to look at his brother.

“No.” Heather shook her head and took a drink of the wine she had next to her. “Engaged.”

“Who?” 

“Who,” Sarah rolled her eyes laughing, taking a pretzel from the bowl. “You and Rachel.”

“What?” JC repeated.

“Oh don’t act like you don’t know.” Heather said laughing. “You’ve been glued to your phone all day. You, the guy who hates social media, have been checking your Facebook constantly.”

“If you’re not stalking Kenzi’s Facebook, you’re messaging Rachel.” Tyler dealt the cards around the table, two each. “No way she had any fun today with you constantly interrupting.” He looked at his cards.

“Isn’t new love great?” Heather placed her bet, throwing chips into the center. “The need to constantly be around each other. Communicating all day with each other. The long phone conversations…”

“Don’t forget the ‘you hang up. No you hang up,” Sarah threw her chips in. 

“So glad we don’t have to deal with crap like that anymore,” Drew scoffed matching the bets made. “I tell her I have to go out of town and she’s packing my bags, shoving me out the door with barely a peck on the lips.”

“You know I love you.” Heather blew her husband a kiss. “You should have just invited her along today. Maybe if she would have been sitting next to you, you would have paid attention to the game.”

The whole family spent the afternoon at Dodger Stadium watching the Dodgers play the Chicago Cubs. Roy and Karen were Cub fans from their years of living in Chicago. JC and Tyler were Baltimore Oriole fans and had been since their childhood from growing up in Maryland. Even though Maryland was no longer their home, they found it hard to cheer for the teams where they currently lived. JC still cheered hard for the Washington Redskins. Tyler as well, though he found himself cheering more and more for the Buccaneers – the closest NFL team to his home in the Orlando area.

“I paid attention to the game.” 

“Yeah?” Drew asked, taking a swig from his beer bottle. “Who won?”

“The Dodgers.” JC stated confidently.

“Who was the winning pitcher?” Tyler asked.

“What inning did Puig hit that home run?” Heather asked.

“I didn’t know I was gonna be quizzed on the game.” JC made a face when Tyler dealt the flop on the table. He had nothing. It worked well for him when his phone rang. Looking at the screen he grinned. Rachel. “Fold.” 

“Those goodnight calls….” Heather grinned, wiggling her eyebrows at her brother.

“Stuff it,” JC said as he answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey,” Rachel smiled. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed with the covers pulled up, a sketch book on her lap. She was working out a rough version of the sketch she was going to make for the Chasez siblings.

“Hey.” He stood up from the table. “Don’t touch my chips,” he warned the table. “I’ll be back.”

“Right,” Sarah laughed. “You won’t be back for hours.”

“Hours?” Heather questioned. “Is that how long it takes?”

“Fuck off,” JC rolled his eyes and left the dining room where they had the poker game set up on the table.

“They’ll be married by the end of the year.” Tyler laughed as he turned the river card.

“Am I interrupting?”

“No. You know how siblings can be.” He climbed the stairs and entered his bedroom, shutting the door for privacy. 

Rachel hummed knowingly. “They are pains in the ass. What are you guys doing?”

“Playing poker.”

“Ah, I can’t play that. I have no poker face.”

“I believe that.” JC chuckled. “How was Universal?” 

“Good. McKenzie and Briahna got thoroughly embarrassed by Joey. I consider that a good day. I’m so happy they made up. Their mouths didn’t stop moving from the moment we left my house until we arrived at Universal. In the back of Mel’s van just whispering and giggling.”

“It was probably like looking in a mirror for you and Mel.” JC teased. “I remember you and Mel used to do the same thing. Off on your own whispering and giggling.”

Rachel laughed at the memories. “We were mostly talking about boys…oh no,” she groaned. “I hope that isn’t what they were talking about.”

JC laughed. “Well I don’t have a lot of experience with teenage girls…” he broke off when he heard a snort over the phone. 

“You can’t even finish that with a straight face. No experience with teenage girls? You? The epitome of teenage love by girls all over the world.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Right. Now moms with teenage girls love you,” she laughed softly. “And trust me, JC. Teenage girls haven’t changed. If I have to hear how dreamy Harry Styles is one more time…”

“You don’t find Harry dreamy?” He teased.

“Please. Give me Zayn any day.” 

“Now that is an interesting piece of information. Zayn huh?”

“Oh yeah, he has that _‘don’t bring home to momma’_ air around him.”

“You have secret sketchbooks dedicated to him?”

“How do you know about my sketchbooks?” Rachel questioned feeling a blush sweep across her face. “And gross. I’m practically old enough to be his mom.”

“You mentioned them and they’ve been brought up in conversation a couple times. Before I could ask, the conversation always keeps going.”

“How was the Dodgers game today?”

“I’m just gonna ask Kenzi about these mysterious sketchbooks,” JC chuckled. “I bet if I ask nicely, she’ll even bring me one tomorrow.”

“Don’t you dare!” Rachel gasped. McKenzie would do it too. The last thing she needed was one of those sketchbooks being passed around JC’s family in the stands at McKenzie’s track meet tomorrow. The sketchbooks were still in the trash bag in the attic. She hadn’t been up there to put everything back in the boxes. “I knew I should have thrown all that stuff away the other day.”

“Oh stop,” JC chided. “I won’t look at them unless you want me to. Everyone seems to know what they are except me.”

Rachel chewed on the pencil as she thought about his words. “The sketchbooks are the ones I used to carry around on tour.”

“The ones you never let anyone see? You still have those?”

“Yeah. I never let anyone see them because they were filled with sketches of you.” Rachel admitted. “There were some sketches of everyone else and of the group. Joey and Mel. But the majority of the pages were filled with you.”

The words made sense. When Rachel said them, he realized he should have figured it out. Rachel had been very protective of the sketchbook she carried around. No one was allowed to look. She would occasionally show them drawings she did of the group but she held the book to keep them from turning the pages. “Show me.” 

“I’ll bring them with me when I come over on Monday.”

They talked for a little while longer. Rachel telling him tales from the trip to Universal. How Joey and Melissa started singing along with a One Direction song that had come on while they were waiting in line for one of the rides. McKenzie and Briahna had been thoroughly embarrassed especially when Joey started dancing. She also filled him in on her planned weekend trip to Vegas with Melissa and extended him an invitation to Lance’s for Memorial Day. JC talked about the baseball game and how the Dodgers had won much to his parents’ dismay. How he had been stopped by a bunch of fans who recognized him and how he had to endure Tyler’s teasing. He also told her how Heather’s driving had somehow managed to get worse and he had been like Melissa and kissed his driveway when they had returned. It was enough to get Rachel riled up and he listened to her go on and on about her driving. He could only laugh and wish she was in front of him so he could silence her with his lips. 

Then they finally said their goodbyes JC opened the door to his bedroom and made his way back in to the dining room. Ignoring the teasing words and looks, he sat back down in his chair while Drew dealt the cards this time. He frowned looking at the table.

“Where the fuck did my chips go?”


	27. Chapter 27

Rachel raised her arm, giving a wave when she saw JC and his crew appear at the top of the stands. McKenzie had been so excited about JC’s family coming to her track meet she sent a text to JC before she left for school making sure they were still coming. Unfortunately for JC, he hadn’t been awake yet. Until the text came through.

“You made it!” Rachel grinned as JC filed in her row while everyone else took the row behind them. She stood up to greet them. Passing out hugs. Heather and Drew stepped over the bench to sit on her free side leaving Tyler, Sarah, Roy and Karen in the row behind them.

“You know how long the day is when you’re up at six?” 

Rachel laughed at JC’s question. “Sorry about that. She said she felt bad, but I don’t think she did.”

“Who’s up at six in the morning anyway?”

“My mom.” Rachel said at the same time Karen answered, “I am.”

“Morning’s almost over by the time you roll out of bed,” Karen teased her son.

“If you wouldn’t stay up half the night on the phone,” Tyler grinned.

“You listening at my door?”

“Didn’t have to. I know only one thing that puts a smile on a man’s face going to bed.” 

“Tyler,” Karen warned her youngest who just grinned in return.

“I didn’t see you smiling last night when you called it a night.” Heather nudged Rachel’s shoulder with her own. 

Rachel laughed and looked over her shoulder at Tyler, seeing the blush on his face. “Oh poor Tyler.” 

“Right. Like we’re gonna throw down with my sister sleeping next door and my parents above us.” 

“Throw down?” Heather laughed. “Does the WWE happen in your bedroom?”

“Don’t you be worrying about my bedroom,” Tyler told his sister.

“I’d like not to be thinking about your bedroom,” JC said dryly. “But you brought it up.”

“Shit. You know damn well he doesn’t get any unless it’s a birthday or an anniversary. That’s married life.” 

“And now we’re in my sister’s bedroom.” JC muttered. The only thing that would cap the conversation is either of his parents speaking up and he prayed they wouldn’t.

“We’re just pointing out that you are the only one who’s getting any.”

“Who said I was getting any?”

Rachel buried her face in her hands. She could feel the heat on her cheeks. “This is a highly inappropriate conversation to be having given the location.”

“I agree,” Karen said. “I heard about Kenzi’s last track meet. Is she ready for today?”

“I sure hope so.” Rachel told JC’s mother, grateful for the change in conversation topics. 

“She seems to enjoy running very much.”

“No idea where she gets it,” Rachel said to Roy’s comment. “She enjoys a lot of activities. Her social calendar is fuller than mine.”

“That’s good that she’s involved in a lot of things.”

“Keeps her out of trouble.”

“Keeps her away from boys,” Heather grinned. “Gonna be hard though. She’s a gorgeous girl. Only going to get prettier.”

“Can’t believe how much she looks like you did. And Briahna…. Joey’s gonna have his hands full.”

Rachel laughed. “That’s karma having its last laugh with Joey. It’s gonna be so much fun watching him navigate a teenage daughter dating.”

“Oh yeah,” Tyler laughed. “He probably deserves every last headache it will bring him.”

“I seem to remember you being almost as bad.” Rachel looked over her shoulder at him. 

Tyler’s eyes widened comically. “Lies!”

Rachel laughed. “Do you forget how many hours we spent together while they were doing interviews or appearances?”

“I figured we’d have a fight on our hands.” Karen said. “We all knew how JC felt and there comes Tyler talking about Rachel.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Tyler held up his hands. “No. No way.”

“Why?” Rachel turned on the bench to look at him. “What was wrong with me?”

“Yeah Tyler. What was wrong with Rachel? She was pretty cute.” Heather asked her brother, a teasing glint in her eye. She loved seeing him squirm.

“She was firmly off limits.” Tyler stated. “I wasn’t a moron. I knew what was up. And if I was living under a rock and didn’t notice that JC liked her, I had to scare away this one kid. Oh man,” he started laughing when he heard JC groan. 

“What kid? When?” Rachel looked from Tyler to JC sitting next to her. “Who?”

“That’s low JC,” Heather said with a chuckle. “You couldn’t tell her you liked her, but you chased away other prospects.” 

“Cold man,” Drew laughed, shaking his head.

“Who?” Rachel repeated looking at JC. She gasped. “Oh my God! It wasn’t the one kid who got fired from the lighting crew was it?”

“You fired someone for liking Rachel?” Sarah asked in disbelief.

“What?” JC frowned as he looked at Rachel. 

“I only remember a little bit. Was like ’98 or something. Happened right before a concert.”

“Damn JC, how many boys did you scare off?” Drew asked. 

“He didn’t get fired because of Rachel. He was fired because he was dealing drugs at our concerts.”

“I didn’t think teenyboppers would be the market,” Heather said.

“So who did you chase away?” Sarah asked her husband. “How many times did you do JC’s dirty work?”

“Just that once. He was stupid. The kid… well JC too.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re the one who never told her how you felt.” Tyler pointed out. “But this kid was an idiot. Like I said, everyone knew Rachel was off limits.”

“I was?” Rachel questioned, the statement news to her. “Why was I off limits?”

“Because Lance said hands off.”

“He did not!” Rachel gasped. She looked at Tyler then to JC, then back to Tyler. “You’re joking. He did not. Did he? JC?” 

“I don’t think he made a blanket statement,” JC said slowly, watching Rachel’s eyes narrow. “He did give out a few warnings to people.”

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“Like you would have given them the time of day,” Tyler laughed. “You were so far gone on JC, you didn’t know anyone else was alive.”

“Beside the point,” Rachel muttered.

“How’d you warn off the one kid?”

“Told him Lonnie would snap him in half if he so much as looked in her direction.”

Rachel groaned and buried her head in her hands. “You did not.”

Tyler laughed. “I did. Kid was so scared.”

“Did you tell him to say that?” Rachel looked at JC.

“Nope.” JC raised his hands up, shaking his head. “I just told him to make him stop sniffing around.”

“I can’t believe this,” Rachel shook her head. “What else don’t I know?”

“Well…” Tyler started and broke off laughing at the look JC sent him. “Hey man, you regaled Sarah with stories when we started dating. Turnabout’s fair play.”

“Is McKenzie’s event starting?”

Rachel turned to look out at the track and saw her daughter getting in to position. They had been talking and she missed the call for the event. “It is.”

“Saved by the bell, C.” Drew laughed.

“I’m here all week,” Tyler grinned. “Plenty of opportunities to spill all my secrets.”

“This is the last time you’re seeing her,” JC said, causing everyone to laugh. He felt a hand on his thigh and he looked down then over at Rachel. She smiled at him and he covered her hand with his, giving it a squeeze as the race started.

“Let’s go Kenzi!”

*~*

“You were awesome girl!” Heather squealed as Rachel walked up with McKenzie after the track meet. She pulled the girl in to a hug, sweaty mess and all. “Totally kicked ass!”

“Heather!” Karen scolded though she agreed with her daughter’s sentiments. “You kicked butt.” 

“Thanks,” McKenzie hugged Karen. She was grinning when she pulled away, the gold medals were proudly displayed around her neck. After her final race, she had pulled on her track pants and wind breaker. The wind breaker jacket was unzipped. Each donned the schools colors light blue and white. She looked at JC who stood next to her mom. They were holding hands, each wearing the light blue school shirt. Her grin widened. “You wore the shirt.”

“I said I would.” JC smiled. When he had come down the stairs before they all left, he had been teased tremendously by Tyler about the shirt. Tyler had even taken a picture of it and sent it to Lance who then had to text him _‘Welcome to the dark side’._ JC had no idea what that meant. As long as he got to keep Rachel and McKenzie he was good. “You were pretty amazing today.”

“Redemption.” McKenzie smiled broadly.

“You certainly redeemed yourself.” JC hugged her. “Proud of you.” He said softly into her hair and was rewarded when she squeezed him before letting go.

“Where are we going for dinner?”

“McKenzie!”

“What?” McKenzie looked at her mom. “It’s sort of what we do now right? Go to dinner after a meet? Except for Wednesday, but we won’t talk about that. Come on. It’s tradition.” 

“You and I are going to have a long talk on the way home,” Rachel eyed her daughter knowing she had been maneuvered once again. 

Karen stayed silent, knowing better than get between a mother and child. It was on the tip of her tongue to approve going out for a bite to eat. Her heart was full. She was going to take the knowledge that JC had finally found someone back to Florida. Even after only three days, she knew their relationship was going to last a lifetime. Her son had been fully adopted into the little Bass family of Rachel and McKenzie. She wasn’t sure if JC even knew it.

“We can get pizza.” McKenzie grinned. “Gotta be one of those places around here.”

“No,” Rachel shook her head. “I’m not going to sit there and watch you two eat that disgusting crap that’s disguised as pizza.”

“Not a fan of chicken bacon ranch?”

“Oh I am,” Rachel said looking at Sarah. “Love it as a pasta dish or a casserole. Keep it off my pizza.”

“To her pizza only has pepperoni on it.” McKenzie rolled her eyes. “So lame.” 

“It’s a perfectly acceptable pizza.” Rachel said as they started making their way to the parking lot of their vehicles. 

“Bor-ing,” McKenzie sing songed falling into step between her mom and JC.

“Married by the end of the year.” Tyler chuckled softly. He lifted his phone and took a picture of the family of three walking in front of them. “It’s fitting C’s wearing a shirt that says Bass.”

“I was just thinking that,” Karen smiled. “They have adopted him in to their family.”

They reached Rachel’s vehicle first. The rentals the Chasez gang took were a few cars down. When JC had pulled into the parking lot, he had spotted Rachel’s car and tried to park as close as he could. He knew they would be walking out together. 

“Are you guys okay with going to dinner?” Rachel asked looking at the faces gathered before her. “It’s a longer drive back to JC’s from here.”

“We gotta eat. Might as well eat together.” Roy said after looking at everyone seeing them nod in agreement.

“There’s a pizza place not far from here.” McKenzie was already looking at the restaurants around the school. 

“Pizza okay with everyone?” Rachel asked. When they said it was, she took McKenzie’s phone and looked where the pizza place was. She hadn’t been in this area before and hoped it was easy to get to. She gave the name of the place for Heather to plug in to her phone.

“Ride with us JC.”

JC looked at McKenzie’s hopeful face, then to his parents who he had ridden with. Heather, Tyler, and their spouses were in the other vehicle.

“I’ll drive,” Tyler held out his hands for JC to pass over the keys to the rental. “Just give me the address.”

“Thanks man,” JC handed the keys to his brother as Tyler used his other hand to put the address to the pizza place in to his phone. “You guys ready?” He asked Rachel and McKenzie after the others made their way down the aisle to their cars.

“Yeah.” Rachel dug in her purse and pulled out her keys. She handed them off to JC.

“You don’t want to drive?”

“I hate driving everywhere all the time. If I don’t have to, I’m not going to. Unless you don’t want to drive?” Rachel reached for the keys back, but JC pulled them away from her grab.

“It’s fine.” He leaned forward and gave her a short peck on the lips. “Get in.”

It was nearing 8:30 when the group finally drug themselves out of the restaurant. There were plenty of groans to go around as everyone over embellished on pizza, breadsticks, and soft drinks. They spilled into the parking lot still laughing and talking as they had all evening. McKenzie kept everyone engaged with stories, some of them embarrassing for Rachel. Of course Rachel was able to embarrass her right back. Tyler brought up old stories from the *NSYNC days. Memories that included Rachel. Some that Rachel hadn’t thought about in years. Others she had completely forgotten. Multiple times during the dinner she was wiping away tears from laughing.

There were plenty of photos being taken. McKenzie had taken many selfies with everyone at the table. Heather had taken many photos with McKenzie bringing the table to more laughter as they took photos in quick succession doing different photo booth poses. That had caused Tyler to do the same when McKenzie happened upon him. Then JC had leaned in to their photo and more poses were done. Then they were saying goodbye in the parking lot. 

“We’re still on for Wednesday right?” Heather asked as she hugged Rachel. 

“Definitely. I gotta drop Kenzie off at school then get ready. I’ll meet you at JC’s at nine.” During dinner, she had planned a day of shopping and lunch with Heather and Sarah.

“I don’t know why I can’t go,” McKenzie grumbled.

“Because you have school.”

“Probably learn a lot more with you guys.”

“You have no idea,” Tyler laughed, trading looks with Drew.

“What you would learn wouldn’t be in books either,” Drew laughed.

“Like what?” McKenzie asked.

“That sounds like a perfect place to say goodbye and head to the car.” Rachel cut in before Tyler or Drew could answer. “Say good night Kenz.”

“Bye.” With a smile and a wave, McKenzie started walking toward the car.

Rachel smiled after her daughter before giving her own wave. “Bye guys. Thanks for coming.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“Meter’s running,” Tyler called as JC followed Rachel and McKenzie. He laughed when JC gave him the finger. 

It didn’t take JC very long before he caught up with Rachel. He grabbed her hand, slowing her walk until he fell in to step with her. The pizza place had been tucked in a shopping plaza. Many stores were still open. There were a lot of cars in the parking lot. 

“You didn’t have to walk us to my car,” she squeezed his hand. “It’s a long drive back to West Hollywood.”

“He’s probably gonna try for a kiss goodnight,” McKenzie teased. She yelped when JC’s free arm shot out and wrapped around her neck, pulling her into his side. She stumbled against him laughing.

“I’m beginning to think Lance isn’t the one I should be worrying about corrupting you.” Rachel felt her face heat in embarrassment at McKenzie’s words. It had been exactly what she had been wishing for – a good night kiss. She had been actually wishing for more, but that was impossible tonight. “Tyler has moved to the top of my list. I’d forgotten how rotten he was.”

“I like Tyler. He’s cool.”

JC and Rachel groaned at McKenzie’s words. “Do not tell him that,” JC told her, loosening his hold on the teenager. He kept his arm around her shoulders and was pleased when she stayed by his side. 

“They’ll be no living with him.” Rachel said as they came to her car. She dug through her purse for the keys JC had handed her when they had arrived. She hit the button on the FOB, unlocking the car. Its lights flashed as the doors unlocked. Now she wished time would slow to a crawl. It was another impossible feat. Time couldn’t stop and JC couldn’t come home with her.

“Thanks for coming JC,” McKenzie went in for a hug and was rewarded when he drew her into his arms. She pressed her cheek against his chest and locked her arms around him. It was the kind of hug she had always wished for. It engulfed her. She felt safe and protected, like nothing could ever harm her. It was the same hug she had gotten earlier when she had been dismissed after the track meet to leave with her mom. There had been the pinch of medals between them when he hugged her tight and told her he was proud of her. It was the hug she had wanted on Wednesday after the disaster of a week but she hadn’t known how to ask. To her horror, she felt her eyes start to water.

“Kenzi?” Rachel took a step forward when her daughter didn’t release the hug as quick as she thought. She placed a hand on McKenzie’s head, letting it trail down her neck to her back. “Are you okay?”

McKenzie released the hold she had on her wrist at JC’s back and dropped one arm. She shifted and pulled her mom into the hug. “I’m okay,” she said softly feeling JC move his arm to include Rachel in the hug. “I don’t know where the tears came from.”

“It’s alright, Sweetie,” Rachel slid one arm around JC’s waist as he hugged them both. 

JC hugged both Rachel and McKenzie to him. He held them tight. _‘My girls,’_ he thought. He pressed a kiss to the top of both their heads. His fingers caressed Rachel’s back and she lifted her head from the half of his chest she occupied. When she titled her head up, he lightly kissed her lips. "Better?” He asked when McKenzie lifted her head.

“Yeah,” McKenzie nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh no,” JC shook his head. “Don’t apologize. You don’t ever have to apologize for needing a hug, okay?”

McKenzie nodded again and asked a question that was on her mind. “Can we take a picture?”

JC spared Rachel a glance and looked back at McKenzie. “Of course.” He kept his arms around them both as McKenzie pulled her phone from the pocket of her track pants. When McKenzie held the phone up to take the photo, he pulled them closer together – closer to him. He couldn’t keep his heart out of his eyes as he stared at the live image on the phone screen. In one arm he held the woman he always loved. In the other was the daughter he always wanted. 

“You should get back,” Rachel said after she unlocked the doors to her vehicle once more. As McKenzie climbed in the passenger seat, Rachel opened the driver’s door and leaned in to start the vehicle.

“Yeah,” JC wasted no time. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her against him. With his other hand, he used the side of his index finger to tilt her chin up. Then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I wish I could climb in that car with you.”

“You don’t know how much I want that,” her eyes fluttered shut when he palmed her cheek. She lifted a hand, curling her fingers around his wrist. “To have you come home with us. To have you there. To crawl in bed with you. To wake up next to you.”

“Soon,” JC promised. He threaded his fingers through her hair and brought her lips to his. “Let me know when you get home.” He whispered before kissing her again.

“You have a longer drive than I do,” Rachel pointed out. She laid her head on his chest and hugged him tight. “Thank you for coming tonight.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I wanted to be here.” He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and groaned. “I think I’m being paged.”

Rachel tightened her arms around him in an effort to prolong their time together. She felt his phone vibrate against her leg and knew she had to let him go. He did have a longer drive back and it was already nearing nine. She lifted her head from his chest and accepted his lips once more in a lingering kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you,” JC brushed his fingers against her cheek. He kissed her again before he forced himself to break the hug. He put a hand on the open vehicle door and watched as she climbed in. “Drive safe and let me know when you made it.”

“I will.” Rachel smiled up at him as she pulled her seat belt on. “Bye JC.”

“Bye.” He shut the door and gave them both a wave as he watched them back from the parking spot and driving away. When they were out of sight, he walked back to where his parents were waiting.

“We sent the rest on.” Karen explained when JC climbed into the driver’s seat. “No sense in everyone waiting.”

“Sorry,” JC said pulling on his seat belt. He looked in the rearview mirror, catching his dad’s gaze.

“No need to apologize son,” Roy stated with a smile. 

“Never apologize for that.” Karen said as JC pulled from the parking spot. 

“It’s always hard to leave your family.”

“You guys are my family.” Traffic was light and JC was able to pull out of the parking lot and onto the road quickly.

“Yeah, but they are your _family_ ,” Roy said putting emphasis on the word like it made a difference and it did.


	28. Chapter 28

“I wish I could go with you,” McKenzie sighed, staring out the window as they grew closer to the school.

“Maybe we’ll see if Mel and Briahna want to go to the mall on Saturday. We’ll shop ‘til we drop.” Rachel gave her daughter a quick glance when she gave a less than enthusiastic response at the thought of hanging out at the mall all day with her best friend. “I’m beginning to think you like JC more than me.”

“Duh Mom,” McKenzie rolled her eyes. “I don’t like him more than you.” 

“Just checking.” 

“Is JC coming to Colorado?” 

“I don’t know. I haven’t asked him.” Rachel hadn’t asked him yet because their Colorado Christmas trip was still such a long ways away. She hadn’t wanted to plan ahead in their relationship for fear something would happen. It had been foolish on her part. The way she felt for JC… she would move in with him today marry him tomorrow given the opportunity. She was gone.

“Are you going to?”

“Yeah I’m going to.”

“Good.”

“You really have taken to him.” Rachel said as she slowed as she hit the line of cars pulling in to the school for morning drop off. Morning car line flowed pretty quickly.

“Is that bad?” McKenzie asked, looking at her mom.

“No! No sweetie. Not at all.” Rachel was quick to say. “Besides… he’s pretty taken with you too.”

“But of course,” McKenzie grinned. “I am amazing.”

Rachel laughed. “That you are, Kenz.” She spared her daughter a glance as she pulled into the parking lot. “Something on your mind?”

“Do you think it’s weird that I like him?”

“Weird? Why on earth would I think it’s weird?”

McKenzie shrugged as she unbuckled her seatbelt as her mother drew closer to the drop off point. “What are you doing?” She asked when her mother pulled out of line and into the parking lot and parked in the first available spot. “Mom?”

“Listen to me,” Rachel said after she put the vehicle in park and turned to face her daughter. She glanced at the clock on the dash, eyeballing the time. “You know the hardest thing about dating for a parent?”

McKenzie shook her head.

“Finding someone who accepts the fact that you have a child. Who understands there is someone else in my life that I have to put first. Finding someone who will love that child even though they aren’t theirs. It doesn’t matter how much I like a guy if he doesn’t connect with you… if you don’t like him… the relationship ends.”

“He’s come to every single one of my track meets so far…”

“So you don’t want him to?”

“No!” McKenzie said quickly. “I want him to come! I like it when he’s there. Is it weird that he does? A lot of other parents don’t come. And he’s not even my dad and he comes.”

“That’s one of the best parts about dating.” Rachel smiled. “Finding the person who does even though he doesn’t have to. Kenz, JC wants to come to your track meets. I don’t make him come. He wants to. Just like he wants to be at your piano recital and your band concert and all those other million events you fill my calendar up with.” She teased, causing McKenzie to laugh.

“A couple girls made a comment and I don’t know…”

“Don’t let that get to you Kenzi. I told you, people suck. Especially teenage girls. Ignore them. I know it’s hard,” Rachel added seeing McKenzie open her mouth. “I was a teenage girl once too. And you don’t have a brother who became a heartthrob.” 

“No I’m just the girl who can possibly get them to meet Justin.”

“I’ve met Justin. He ain’t nothing to write home about. Besides,” she grinned. “You got the best out of them.”

“Yeah? Who is that? Uncle Lance? JC? Joey?”

“Yes.” Rachel answered with a laugh.

“What about Chris?”

“Only with adult supervision.” Rachel chuckled and patted McKenzie’s knee. “Don’t listen to what anyone says okay? JC’s gonna come to everything you have going on if he can make it because that’s the type of person he is. If you want to take a million pictures, take them. God knows I love seeing your smiling face without some random SnapChat filter. Though I did love the photo of you, JC, and Tyler with the mouse filter. Hey,” she stopped her daughter from gather her things and climbing from the car. “You make whatever relationship you want with JC, okay? There is no manual. There is no right way. It’s what you and JC make it. Personally I think what you guys are building right now is great. I love seeing it.”

“Thanks Mom,” McKenzie grinned and climbed from the car. She gave her mom a wave and zigzagged through the parking lot to the front of the school. Inside she went to her locker and dropped both her school bag and her track bag at her feet as she put in her combination. When it was open, she bent down and unzipped her book bag. Grabbing her agenda, she opened it to the front page where a few photos were paper clipped. Scotch tape sat on the top shelf on her locker for this very reason. Breaking off two pieces she began to tape the new photos in to open spaces. When she was finished, she looked at the inside door of her locker. It was covered in photos of her and Briahna, her and other friends. Her with her mom. Photos of her and Uncle Lance and Michael. Photos of One Direction she had ripped from magazines. Single photos of Harry Styles. Taylor Swift. Unicorns, kittens, and musical notes. Now there was a photo of her and JC from dinner Monday night she had swiped from Karen’s Facebook. It was a simple photo of them smiling for the camera. Along the bottom of the photo she had taken a black sharpie and in bubble letters colored in _#teamKenC._

Right in the center was the best photo of all though. The selfie she had taken of her, JC, and her mom. She smiled as she looked at it. Grabbing her phone she took a photo of the locker door with the new additions posting it to Facebook before she powered her phone down for the day.

“Hey Kenz.”

McKenzie looked up and grinned seeing Briahna. “Hey! Give me a minute.” She quickly emptied her book bag out and grabbed the books she needed before shoving her track bag in and slamming the locker closed. “What are you doing on Saturday?” She asked as she fell into step with her best friend.

*~*

“Hey!” Heather grinned as she pulled open JC’s door and greeted Rachel. “We’re slow moving today.” She stood to the side allowing Rachel to enter. “We’re gonna need the biggest cup of coffee we can find.”

“Rough night?”

“Longest game of Monopoly ever.” Heather explained walking into the kitchen.

“It wouldn’t have been the longest game if you had just quit,” Tyler said as he took a drink from his coffee cup.

“And lose?” Heather gasped. “Never!”

“Then suffer the consequences.”

“The consequences being never being able to play Monopoly again because half the pieces gotten strewn around my living room when you flipped the game off the coffee table and stormed off in a fit.” JC said as he walked into the kitchen after hearing the doorbell. He’d been in his room finishing getting dressed. He would have liked to answer the door but he had been slow moving after all the alcohol consumed the night before. He went to Rachel and pulled her into his arms, giving her a kiss. “Hey.”

“That’s how Monopoly is supposed to end.” Heather said. 

“Hey,” Rachel wrapped her arms around his waist. She gave him a hug. “We weren’t allowed playing Monopoly in our house because that’s how the game ended all the time.” She said as she broke the hug. 

“Please no lovey-dovey shit until I’ve had more coffee,” Heather turned from her brother and his girlfriend to top off her coffee cup.

“I don’t know how Drew stays with you.” JC asked.

“Leg shackles,” Tyler supplied.

“I get new ones each year for Christmas.” Drew sent Heather a wink.

“They go perfect with her whip,” Tyler quipped as his wife walked into the room.

“You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone about the whip!” Sarah gasped. She grinned seeing Tyler blush.

“There should be a viewer distraction advised warning with you guys.” Rachel laughed.

“Please,” Drew rolled his eyes. “This conversation is nothing compared to the one that’s gonna happen as soon as you guys climb in that car.”

“Like your conversation is gonna be G-rated when we leave.” Heather chuckled.

“Oh yeah,” Sarah laughed. “The moment we walk out that door the house will be filled with vulgar stories, crass jokes. How big it is. How many times you’ve scored. Who you did it with and where.”

“Don’t forget the number will be inflated as per usual.”

“There no inflation going on with me,” Drew grinned causing his wife to laugh.

“I need coffee.” JC said, interrupting the conversation. “Do you want a cup?” He asked Rachel.

“Please.”

“So how was the car line?”

“Kenzi had an issue this morning. She’s still trying to work some things out.”

“What’s going on? Is she okay?” JC turned around at Rachel’s statements. 

“Yeah, I think so. I think the issue this morning had to do with teenage girl drama.”

Heather groaned. “Oh I hate teenage girl drama.”

“You always had a lot of it.” JC teased. He wanted to continue questioning Rachel about what had happened with McKenzie. He didn’t want them to backtrack on the ground they had made. He wanted to make sure they continued moving forward.

“A lot of it had to do with you, Mouseketeer.” Heather made a face at JC. “A lot of my friends were only my friends because they wanted to meet you.”

“Kenzi’s had to deal with that a little bit when we moved here. Thankfully it wasn’t too bad. It helped that Briahna already went to the same school. Eased the whole NSYNC thing. Also helped that Kenzi doesn’t even know Justin. She doesn’t remember meeting him. Apparently being Lance’s niece must mean hanging out with him constantly.” She rolled her eyes. “So glad I was out of school before they blew up in the United States. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I had been in high school in 2000. Probably completely miserable.”

“I bet it would have been awesome.” Drew grinned.

“Oh yeah. For a guy. All the girls who would sleep with you to get closer to the brother who was in a boyband.” Heather held her coffee cup in one hand while she scrolled on Facebook. “You couldn’t pay me enough to go back to high school.”

“Oh hell no,” Sarah agreed. “The drama. The backstabbing. The cliques.” 

“Sounds like Thanksgiving at your house.” Tyler grinned as everyone burst out laughing. 

“Look at that JC, you made Kenzi’s locker at school.” Heather slid her phone across the kitchen island toward her brother.

JC snatched the phone from the counter and held it up seeing the photo of the inside of a school locker. It was a college of photos. He grinned seeing the photo of him with McKenzie and Rachel. The photo was currently the background on his phone and had been since McKenzie had sent it to him Monday night.

“Not the first time C’s graced the inside of a teenager’s locker.”

“Probably the first time in about ten years though,” Tyler laughed as he looked at the screen over JC’s shoulder.

“Probably not the first time he’s graced a Bass locker.” Heather glanced at Rachel with a sly look.

Rachel laughed. “He didn’t grace mine in high school.”

“Who’d you hang up in your locker?” Tyler asked, grinning when he saw Rachel blush. “This outta be good.”

“I put a lot of people in my locker at school.”

“Like who?” JC asked, interested at the new piece of information about Rachel before he had truly known her.

“Luke Perry.”

“Well of course,” Heather stated. “Every girl in the 90s had him hanging in their locker and on their bedroom wall.”

“Damon Pampolina.” 

“Damon?” JC asked, raising an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Rachel blushed harder. Damon had been on the Mickey Mouse Club with JC. “Joey McIntyre.”

“Oh, it was all about Jordan Knight.” Heather shook her head. 

“JTT.”

“Oh yeah,” Sarah nodded. “Now you’re talking. Zachary Ty Bryan.”

“Zach Morris.”

“John Stamos.” Heather gave a dreamy sigh. “I loved when I was sick and got to stay home from school and he was on General Hospital.”

“I wanna get back to Damon,” JC interrupted staring at Rachel. “You had Damon in your locker?”

“Tony Lucca too.” 

“Why not just kick him when he’s down?” Tyler laughed.

“You sensing some competition Bro?” Heather grinned.

“I had this huge picture of…”

“Let me guess,” Heather interrupted her husband. “Pamela Anderson.”

“The entire female cast of Baywatch.” Sarah suggested.

“Dude, Kelly Kapowski.” Drew said shaking his head. “Of course then Show Girls came out and it was all about Jessie Spano.”

“Winnie Cooper. Alyssa Milano.”

“Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty.”

“Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.”

“If McKenzie was standing here right now, she would be asking who we were talking about.” Rachel laughed. “She’d be completely lost.” 

“You gotta introduce her to Home Improvement and Saved By The Bell!” 

“Show her a teenage JC on Mickey Mouse Club.”

“She’s already seen every video of JC on that show.” That she was sure of. Before she knew McKenzie’s ulterior motive, she had asked a lot of questions. She knew she was watching old videos on YouTube. Had thought McKenzie was just checking out the new person.

“And she still likes him? Even with that hair cut?” Tyler reached out and ruffled his brother’s hair only to have JC slap his hand away.

“Jealous?” JC grinned. 

“Tyler hasn’t seen that much hair since he was five.” Heather laughed. “That’s when his started thinning.” 

“Fuck off.” Tyler slapped his sister’s hand away as she rubbed the stubble on his head from his buzz cut. 

“I don’t even have to see the photo Kenzi posted to know her locker is probably covered from top to bottom in One Direction. Harry Styles specifically.”

“The next generation of boy band crazies.” Heather said remembering what it was alike when her brother was at the top and in the middle of the pandemonium. 

“Aren’t they on tour?” Sarah asked. “You taking her to see them?”

Rachel nodded. “I lost the coin toss with Joey. I wouldn’t be surprised if he rigged it. He took the girls to see them last year. Melissa and I stayed home and drank wine. Thanking God it was Joey there instead.”

“What’s wrong with One Direction?”

“Nothing. It’s the thousands and thousands of screaming girls.”

“You should be used to screaming girls.”

“Somehow it’s different on this side. Don’t ask me how.”

“Because you’re old.” Tyler laughed and dodged his wife’s swat.

“That’s probably it.” Rachel laughed. “But Mel and I are gonna relive our late teens and party it up in Vegas Memorial Day weekend. We’re gonna find our inner teen fan girls that have been shoved away due to motherhood and adult responsibilities and release them at the Backstreet Boys concert. Where we may or may not rush the stage and tackle Nick Carter.”

“Maybe I should come and chaperone.”

Rachel laughed at JC’s remark though it did have promise. A short weekend in Vegas with JC had great appeal. Being together for three days and two nights. Sharing a room. She grinned at him as she thought of the possibilities.

“Get a room,” Heather said as she dumped the rest of her coffee in the sink.

“I’m thinking about it.” Rachel hid her grin behind her coffee cup as she finished it off.

“Alright,” Heather announced. “Think about a room later. You have a date with us girls today. No boys allowed.”

“Pity.” Rachel eyes JC up and down.

“Keep it up and I’m getting the hose.” Heather drawled. She took Rachel’s coffee cup and put it in the sink. “Time to go. We only have so many hours.”

“Just send an SOS if Heather gets to be too much,” JC said as he pulled Rachel to him as Heather and Sarah grabbed their purses and said goodbye to their husbands.

“We won’t rescue you, but you can send one.” Drew laughed.

“Don’t let her drive.” JC told Rachel with a chuckle.

“Fuck off JC. I’m a great driver.”

“Maybe I’ll see you before I head back home.” Rachel pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss.

“Count on it.” JC whispered kissing her again.

“You’d be in my locker now.” Rachel sent him a wink as she pulled away.

“I can drive you know,” Heather said as she climbed into the passenger seat of Rachel’s car. Sarah climbed in the back.

“It’s easier if I drive. I know where everything is.” Rachel started the car and pulled away from JC’s house. “You can still yell at drivers and give the bird.”

“Don’t give her that permission.” Sarah said. “She’s gonna do that now.”

“Don’t worry. It happens all the time here. People just think it’s a greeting now.”

“You should hit up Victoria’s Secret.” Sarah said later as they came upon the store. They were already loaded down with bags after hitting up many of the stores including H&M, Macy’s, and Bloomingdales. They day had been filled with so many laughs Rachel’s stomach hurt.

“Why?”

“So the next time you get some alone time with my brother you make him forget his name.” Heather winked and shifted her bags to one hand. She looped her arm through Rachel’s and pulled her toward the lingerie store.

“Oh no,” Rachel shook her head and tried to stop but Heather just continued to pull her.

“Come on. I know that look in your eye earlier. You were planning on dragging him to Vegas.” She grinned triumphantly when Rachel blushed. “Exactly.”

“You can find the perfect set to go with that beautiful little black dress we saw at Bloomingdales.”

“The perfect pair of heels at Macy’s.”

“Oh yeah. Add in the smoky eye effect, curls in your hair… JC won’t know what hit him.” Heather grinned. “He’ll be eating out of the palm of your hand.”

“He slips that black dress off and see you wearing something…” Sarah paused as she looked at the racks they were standing near. She grinned and pulled the black lacy bra off the rack and held it up in front of her. “Like this,” she gave it a little shake.

“Along with these,” Heather held up a pair of black lace bikini panties.

“Along with those heels…”

“You’d kill him.” 

“I don’t need all that…” Rachel said. Her face was on fire as she stared at the bra and panty set Heather and Sarah were holding. They were gorgeous. 

“We know that,” Sarah rolled her eyes. “Men are so damn easy you could be wearing a trash bag and they’d drool.”

“Yeah,” Heather laughed. “You should know this after all. I bet you wore some pretty enticing stuff for Kenzi’s father.”

Rachel felt the blood rush from her face at Heather’s words. She swallowed roughly as the lunch she had eaten earlier threatened to return.

“Rachel?” Sarah frowned, staring at her friend. “Are you okay?”

“We were just teasing,” Heather furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “You don’t have to get any of this stuff. My brother is so far gone on you…” She saw Rachel’s eyes fill with tears.

Rachel pleaded with her stomach to settle but it still rolled. With panicking eyes, she looked around and spotted the sign for the restrooms. “I…I…” she gave up and dropped her bags, quickly running from the store with a hand of her mouth.

“What happened?” Sarah asked confused.

“I don’t know.” Heather was just as lost.

“I’m gonna check on her.” Sarah left her bags with Heather and quickly went off toward the bathrooms.

Heather picked up all their bags and walked from the store toward the bathrooms. Putting the bags down at her feet she dug out her phone.

 _‘Is there something going on with Rachel?’_ Heather sent JC a text. She wondered if the woman could be pregnant. She was certain that if Rachel was, it would be too soon to know based on when she knew she and JC started dating.

_‘Well she is voluntarily hanging out with you.’_

Heather rolled her eyes at JC’s response. _‘I’m serious JC. Is something going on?’_

_‘Why? What happened?’_

_‘We were just teasing her and all of a sudden she looked like she was about to throw up. She started crying and rushed into the bathroom.’_

Heather groaned when her phone started to ring. “Yes.”

“What did you say to her?”

Gone was the teasing light from the first message. JC’s voice was serious. Heather sighed. “I don’t know. We were just teasing her about you. We’ve been doing it all day. She was fine. She was laughing. She had hearts in her eyes.”

“Then what happened?” JC said slowly.

“We were in Victoria’s Secret. We were trying to get her to buy something. We had a whole outfit in mind that was gonna knock you dead. She wasn’t sure. We told her to do it. I know she didn’t need to get it. She could wear a Mr. Hefty garbage bag and you’d still drool. I just reminded her that she probably wore pretty enticing stuff for McKenzie’s father.”

“What?” JC whispered feeling himself pale. 

“Just because she has a child doesn’t mean she has to give up the sexy underwear.”

“Please telling me you’re joking. That you didn’t say that.”

“JC what’s going on?” Heather looked up and saw Rachel and Sarah coming back down the corridor that led to the bathrooms. Rachel’s face was pale and splotchy. Her eyes were wet. Sarah had a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Never mind. Here she comes.” She ended the call even as she heard JC squawking in her ear. “Rachel! Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Sorry guys,” Rachel sniffled.

“No, we’re sorry,” Sarah said. “We were just teasing you about JC. We didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Maybe we came on a little too strong.” Heather said quickly. She pulled Rachel into a hug. “Come on. Let’s sit down.” She picked up all the bags and led them into the center of the main walkway where chairs had been set up for shoppers to rest their feet. She knew the benches were mostly used by husbands waiting while their wives shopped.

“I’m sorry.” Rachel whispered again, grabbing a tissue Sarah had handed her from her purse.

“You can tell us what’s wrong,” Sarah said softly from her place next to Rachel. “Maybe we can help.”

“If its new relationship jitters, you don’t have to worry about it.” Heather ignored her ringing phone. “JC is head over heels in love with you. Seriously. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone.”

“It’s not… it’s not that.” Rachel said quietly. Her heart did warm at Heather’s declaration. “JC didn’t tell you. I thought… I assumed…”

“I don’t know if he did tell us or not until you tell me what he supposedly did tell us.”

“No. I know he didn’t. If he had, you wouldn’t have said…”

“I put my foot in my mouth all the time,” Heather explained, taking Rachel’s hand. “I have a feeling I put both of them in there this time. So far down I can kick my own ass.”

“You don’t know about McKenzie’s father.”

Heather shook her head. “No. For the longest time I thought it was JC.”

“It’s not JC.”

“What happened?” Sarah asked.

“I was raped. McKenzie’s the result.” Rachel’s voice was so soft she wasn’t certain the women heard her. She hoped they did. She didn’t want to repeat it.

“Oh Rachel,” Heather’s heart clenched and she wrapped the woman in a tight hug. “I am so sorry. So so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I didn’t know. Forgive me.”

JC was gonna kill her.

*~*

“JC, calm down.” Tyler watched JC pace back and forth near his front door. It took everything he had to get his brother to even come inside instead of waiting in the street. 

“I can’t calm down Tyler.” JC looked at his watch. He’d been on edge since Heather’s phone call and it only grew worse when his sister never answered his phone calls.

“What’s going on?” Karen asked as she came into the room eying her boys.

“JC’s wigging out.” Drew supplied completely at a loss. Everything had been fine until Heather had called. The mood had quickly shifted during the phone call. His wife wasn’t answering his phone calls and she was going to get an earful when he saw her for whatever she did to her brother and leaving him to deal with it.

“I thought all you were going to do was go to the driving range while the girls shopped?”

“We did. Then Heather called and he’s been wigged out ever since.” Tyler explained watching JC check his watch again.

“What did Heather say?” Karen asked but Drew and Tyler shrugged. “JC?” She stepped forward and into JC’s path, stopping his movements. “What happened?”

“Heather made a stupid comment. I should have told her. But I didn’t. I didn’t think anyone needed to know. I wasn’t sure if it was my place to tell. But I should have told. If I told she would have known and she wouldn’t have said it.” The words tumbled out quickly.

“Oh dear,” Karen said when she realized what JC was talking about. She hadn’t told anyone what JC had told her in confidence either. Not even Roy.

“I’m missing something.” Tyler looked bath and forth between his mom and his brother. “What don’t we need to know?”

Before either JC or Karen could answer, the door opened and Sarah stepped in. Alone. 

“Where’s Rachel?”

“Outside thinking she’s okay to drive back home.” Sarah said. “She probably is, but please go and talk to her.”

JC bypassed his sister-in-law and walked outside. His movements were quick as he moved down the sidewalk to the gate and out. Rachel was leaning against the side of the car with his sister. They were talking quietly. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Rachel gave him a small smile. She reached for his hand. 

“I’m gonna go make some tea. I bet JC has just the right additive.” Heather squeezed Rachel’s arms and gave JC a smile before she walked away, leaving the two of them alone.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes…No… Maybe… I don’t know.” Rachel sighed.

“Come here,” JC dropped her hand and pulled her into his arms. He ran a comforting hand down her hair when she laid her head on his chest. “I should have told them. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have lost it.” She sighed and leaned further in to him. “Sure put a damper on our afternoon. I should apologize again to them before heading home.”

“Don’t leave yet. Come in and stay for a bit.” JC checked his watch calculating how much time she would have. “Kenzi’s done at 4:30 right?”

“I’m okay, JC. It just caught me off guard.”

“Maybe I just don’t want you to leave.” JC didn’t want her to leave. He wanted her to stay with him. He also wanted her to relax a little more before she drove home. He could feel how tense she was. “Come in. Drink the tea Heather put way too much whiskey in. You can tell me more about this Vegas trip and how I can come with so I can make sure you don’t tackle Nick Carter.”

Rachel lifted her head from his chest and laughed. “My stage rushing days are over. Don’t worry. But I wouldn’t mind you coming to Vegas. I’ll have to ask Mel because Kenzi was gonna stay with Joey. If you come you’ll need a friend to come and play with…”

“I was sort of hoping to play with you.” JC grinned seeing the blush cover Rachel’s face.

“You can play with me the whole time but from seven to eleven on Friday night, I belong to Mel and the Backstreet Boys.”

JC laughed and ducked his head to kiss her. “I can live with that.”

“Before we go in, I want to ask you something.”

“Sure. Shoot.”

“I know it’s a long ways off and a lot can happen between then and now. And you might not even know what you’re doing and…” Lips covered hers stopping her words. Her eyes fluttered close as she let herself be kissed.

“Relax.” JC said when her eyes opened to meet his. “A lot can happen between then and now but one thing that won’t change is us. I told you. I’m in this.”

“Kenzi and I want you to spend Christmas with us in Colorado.”

“There is no place else I’d rather be.” JC smiled. “I would love to.” He leaned forward and kissed her. “I can’t wait to see you ski.”

“I can’t wait to get you beneath a blanket by the fireplace.” Rachel saw his eyes darken and she grinned. Maybe she would go back to Victoria’s Secret and buy a few sexy bra and panty sets to knock his socks off.


	29. Chapter 29

“When we go to the mall on Saturday,” McKenzie started as her fingers quickly moved over the phone in her hand tapping out a reply to Briahna. “Are you and Melissa gonna be with us?”

Rachel spared her daughter a glance, her eyebrow raising, as she turned off Sunset Boulevard onto JC’s road. “You and Briahna have lost your minds if you think we’re just gonna drop you off at the mall and leave you there.” 

McKenzie rolled her eyes. “I mean are you gonna walk around with us or can Briahna and I walk around by ourselves?”

“You don’t want to hang out with mommy?”

McKenzie rolled her eyes again. “Mom…”

“We’ll see.” Rachel answered.

“Awesome!” McKenzie grinned and quickly sent Briahna the answer her mom gave.

“You’re not getting the credit card though.” Rachel grinned as she slowed down as the road started to curve more heavily. “I hate this road,” she muttered. “Mel and I will just follow behind you guys. Six paces back. One pace to the left. We’ll only step up to swipe our cards M’Lady.”

“Shut up,” McKenzie rolled her eyes.

“One of these times you’re gonna roll your eyes and they’ll stay in the back of your head.”

“Then I’ll really have eyes in the back of my head like you say you do.”

“I do. Every woman gets them after they become a mom. We get those and the sense that our kids are doing something they aren’t supposed to be doing. You’re not going to be on your phone the entire time we are here.”

“I know mom,” McKenzie gave an exasperated sigh. “I know the rules.”

“Just checking.” Rachel hid her smile. They were on their way to JC’s for dinner. Karen had extended the invitation to her and McKenzie yesterday after the aborted shopping trip. Thursday was the best time to get together. Their flight was early Saturday morning and Karen wanted to be in bed at a decent time on Friday. Thursday gave the opportunity to stay up late. Rachel gave in even though it was a school night. McKenzie would be up late with the hour drive home. In the back of her mind, she thought about having them pack a bag and stay the night. They could wake up early and Rachel could drive her to school from JC’s. She talked herself out of it before she could bring it up with JC.

JC’s house came in to view and she gave a silent curse realizing she came in the wrong direction. There wasn’t a lot of parking on the road to begin with. With two extra cars it was downright impossible. JC had told her to park right in front of his garage. She turned around in the neighbor’s drive and maneuvered her car out of the road as much as possible. She didn’t want to come out to leave later and find out her car had been sideswiped. 

“I don’t think you got close enough,” McKenzie said as she squeezed out of the passenger seat. Her mom had parked so close to the garage, she couldn’t open the door all the way. “You should try again.”

“Har dee har har,” Rachel said as she climbed from the car. Opening the back door, she grabbed the insulated carrier usually used for casseroles. It held desert instead. She had made a cherry pie as well as peach cobbler. Tucked inside the carrier was a tub of cool whip because she couldn’t eat peach cobbler without it. She had also brought a can of whipped cream for the crazies who didn’t know what was good for them. JC assured her he had vanilla ice cream. Her house had smelled so good all afternoon, she had half a notion to see if they could start with desert first.

“You need help?”

“No thank you,” Rachel said as they walked toward the gate. With one hand, she entered the code and allowed McKenzie to push it open.

“Could this be considered a date?” McKenzie asked as they walked along the sidewalk to JC’s door.

“Well… maybe. I guess technically it could be considered a date.” Rachel answered her daughter. “But normally you don’t bring your kids on dates. Or your parents for that matter. Definitely not your brother and sister. Why?”

“Briahna is babysitting Kloey and Caleb tonight because Joey and Mel are going out.”

Rachel nodded. Thursdays were usually the Fatone date night. Melissa hated going on the weekends because it was always crowded. _‘Everyone goes out on Friday and Saturday.’_ Melissa had told her once. When Rachel had answered with a _‘not me’_ , she got a ball of socks to the face from the basket of laundry her friend had been folding. 

“Why haven’t you and JC gone out on a date?” McKenzie asked as they got to the door. She reached out to ring the doorbell. “You know, like a real one? Where you get dressed up. He comes to the house to pick you up. I’m not tagging along like a chaperone.”

Rachel was a little caught off guard by McKenzie’s question. “Well… I don’t know. I guess there just hasn’t been a right time. We haven’t been seeing each other very long. We were out of town for awhile. He has family visiting. Besides, he hasn’t asked me.”

Before McKenzie could respond, the door opened and JC was there with a smile. 

“Hey!” JC grinned seeing Rachel and McKenzie. 

“Why haven’t you asked Mom out on a date?”

“Kenzi!” Rachel gasped horrified. Her face flamed with a blush. 

“What?” McKenzie asked innocently looking at her mother. “I’m just asking.”

“That’s not something you just come out and ask.” Rachel wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. 

“You want me to ask your mom out on a date?” JC could see the blush on Rachel’s face and his grin broadened.

“Yes.” McKenzie nodded. “I can’t be a chaperone forever.”

JC laughed loudly at McKenzie’s words. Rachel further groaned and covered her face with her free hand. 

“Saturday’s perfect,” McKenzie continued. “We’re hanging out at the mall with Mel and Briahna. We can find the perfect outfit there. There is also that awesome nail place. Then she can go home and get ready and I can go to Briahna’s.”

“Sounds so easy.” JC was amused. A smile playing at lips as he listened to McKenzie set up a date between he and Rachel. “Where are we going on this date?”

“I can’t do all the work,” McKenzie sighed exasperated. 

“Get inside.” Rachel gave her daughter a nudge forward. “Or you’re grounded until you’re 40.”

McKenzie grinned and stepped forward. “Hi JC.” She gave him a hug.

“Hi Kenz,” JC returned her hug with a laugh. “You better get inside.”

“Take this,” Rachel said, holding out the insulated carrier for her daughter to take. “I can’t believe her,” she shook her head when McKenzie had disappeared inside.

“I don’t know,” JC mused. “She has a good idea. My Saturday is wide open.”

“Well as you heard, my Saturday afternoon is taken.”

“What about Saturday night,” JC slipped an arm around her waist pulling her to him. “Say about seven?”

“I’ll have to check my calendar,” Rachel laid her hands on his chest. “But I’m pretty sure I’m available.”

JC smiled. “What do you say I take you out without our apparent chaperone?”

“I’d have to say I’d like that a lot.” She wound her arms around JC’s neck when he lowered his head to kiss her.

“How about letting her in the door before you maul her?”

JC broke the kiss and looked over his shoulder seeing Tyler. He loved his family, but he would be so glad when they went home. Then he could kiss Rachel in his doorway without anyone interrupting. “What do you want?”

“Just coming to see if you needed any help.” Tyler grinned. “Kenzi told us how she had to ask Rachel out on a date for you. Really, C,” he shook his head, chuckling. “Can’t even ask a girl out. Had to have a thirteen year old to do it for you?”

“Oh shut up,” JC rolled his eyes. He let go of Rachel and placed a hand on her back as she moved toward the door. 

“Rachel, desert looks great.” Karen said as she greeted the woman with a hug when she entered the kitchen. “You didn’t have to bring anything.”

“Show up empty handed?” Rachel gasped.

“Mama Bass would be so embarrassed.” JC teased.

“I would never be able to show my face in Mississippi again.” 

“Your southern hospitality is safe.” Karen assured her.

“I’m all for southern hospitality if it gets me more cherry pie.” Tyler said as he poured a glass of wine and handed it to Rachel.

“You haven’t even tasted it.”

“Tyler usually doesn’t taste his food anyway.” JC grinned. “Just shovels it in his mouth.”

“Says the guy who needs to eat a cheeseburger.” Tyler made a face at his brother.

“Alright boys,” Karen chided. “Knock it off.”

“Anything I can do to help?” She felt the look Karen sent her all the way to her toes and raised a hand in surrender. 

“A guest lifting a hand to help?” JC grinned. “I think Mama Bass just shuddered.”

“Knock it off,” Rachel slapped his arm with a laugh. 

“Mama Bass as that sensor in her head that goes off when one of her kids sullies southern hospitality? Sort of like the sensor in a dad’s head when a kid touches the thermostat.” 

“Something like that,” Rachel laughed at Drew’s assessment. 

“My hand would barely touch the thermostat and Dad would be yelling from the other room that if I touched it he would break my fingers.” Drew laughed at the memory. 

“We were the only house on our block who walked around in three layers of clothes on in the house because Dad refused to set the thermostat higher than 68 in the January.”

“If you had meat on your bones,” Tyler quipped.

“The next time you see him, he’ll probably have a dad bod.” Drew grinned, taking a drink of his beer.

“What’s Tyler’s excuse?”

“It’s called being prepared.”

“Alright, out,” Karen put the spoon down on the holder and made a shooing motion. “All of you. Out. Get on. Out. Go go. You’ll be in here plenty after dinner doing the dishes.”

*~*

“I thought food comas only happened at Thanksgiving.” Tyler groaned.

“Well when you eat half a pie in one sitting…”

“But it was so good,” he moaned rubbing his stomach.

“We wouldn’t know,” Heather said dryly. “You didn’t let anyone else have any.”

“Should be quicker.”

“I was afraid of being stabbed with a fork.”

“If I’m ever in Florida, I’ll stop in and make you your very own.” Rachel laughed, pleased. 

“My God, JC, marry her.” 

“So you can have her make you pies?” JC laughed. He was going to marry Rachel but not because of her kitchen skills.

“I wonder if you could ship them…” 

Rachel laughed, feeling a blush cross her face. “I’ll be sure to tell Mimi how much you liked her pie.”

Heather snorted and took a drink from her wine glass before she could make a comment.

“She lives in Mississippi right?” Tyler asked, grinning.

After dinner, everyone was gathered in the living room. Dinner had been demolished and the dishes had been done and put away. Complete with the grumbling from Roy, Tyler, Drew, and JC. Not that they said a word within Karen’s earshot. The girls had sat in the living room with their drinks talking and laughing until the men joined them. Heather drug games from JC’s closet, minus Monopoly that was still missing the thimble, the shoe, and the dog.

Pictionary had been first. Guys vs. girls. There was so much laughter especially when it was Drew’s turn to draw. There had been plenty of complaints by the men when Rachel had to draw stating there was an unfair advantage. The girls ended up winning the first round. McKenzie then jumped to the boys’ team stating they needed all the help they could get. It hadn’t helped. The girls still won. At the end, Rachel had drawn the men their own consolation trophy: a hand drawn in the shape of an L sitting on a block. The plate on the front said participant.

Trivial Pursuit followed Pictionary. Heather had wanted to play Cards Against Humanity, but Rachel had vetoed the idea. McKenzie was too young. She did not want to have to explain anything. That would have to be saved for another time when it was just adults present. For the trivia game, each teams broke up in to couples. McKenzie had decided to be on Rachel’s and JC’s team. She took the teasing from Tyler on the decision gracefully. The extra person hadn’t helped. Roy and Karen demolished the teams. Roy took great pleasure in handing the participant trophy Rachel had drawn him back to her. 

The evening drew to an end much later than Rachel had originally planned considering the drive she had back home. It had been such a good night, she hadn’t wanted to leave. There were a lot of laughs and stories being told. Alcohol had flowed freely for some, but not others. She stopped drinking after dinner knowing she had to drive. Since it would be the last time Rachel and McKenzie would see JC’s family for awhile, there were plenty of hugs and photos to go around. Receiving more teasing from Tyler, JC walked them outside to her car.

“Someday we’re gonna stop meeting like this.” Rachel wrapped her arms around JC’s waist. McKenzie already said her goodbyes and climbed in to the passenger seat. She figured her daughter would be asleep before they even made it to the 101. 

“That’s a dream of mine.” JC wrapped his arms around her. “To not have to walk you to a car and watch you drive away.” 

“One of these days…” Rachel leaned forward and kissed him.

“So about this date Saturday night…” JC said after the kiss ended. “Pick you up at seven?”

“Can’t wait.” Rachel smiled at him. “And I bet Kenzi can stay the night at Briahna’s.”

JC grinned at the news. “I love you.” He kissed her.

“I love you too.”

“Let me know when you get home.” JC said after he kissed her one last time and opened the car door for her.

“I will. Night JC.” With a final kiss she climbed into the car and allowed JC to shut the door. After starting the car and with a final wave, she pulled away from his house.

“Would we move in with JC or would he move in with us?”

“What?” Rachel asked, completely caught off guard at McKenzie’s question.

“That’s the next step isn’t it?” McKenzie asked.

“Moving in together doesn’t happen before the first date, Kid.” Rachel glanced at her daughter. “You just remember that.”

“For when I’m thirty?”

“Forty.” 

McKenzie rolled her eyes and looked down at her phone. It didn’t last very long before she put it to sleep and stare out the window. 

“You alright?”

“It’s late. Everyone’s sleeping.” 

“Well settle in, we have a long drive back home.”

“If we lived with JC, we’d already be home.” McKenzie could feel her mother’s look on the back of her head as she stared out the passenger window. “Just sayin…”

Rachel shook her head not bother with a reply. Mostly because she couldn’t refute her daughter’s statement. If they lived with JC she’d be upstairs in his bedroom, getting ready for bed. She’d be brushing her teeth, washing her face. Taking off her clothes. Sliding into their bed waiting for him. More than likely she would have sent McKenzie to bed at her normal time and continued visiting with his family. Cards Against Humanity might have even made an appearance. Instead it was a kiss goodbye in the driveway – again. Going home to an empty bed. Again.

She was anxious to see how their relationship would go after his family left. She was anxious for their date on Saturday. Where were they going? What should she wear? The black dress in Bloomingdales came to mind. Along with the heels Heather and Sarah were talking about from Macy’s. A smile formed on her face when she thought about the black lace bra and panties from Victoria’s Secret. If McKenzie could spent the night at Melissa’s, JC would be able to…

Maybe if she had been paying closer attention, she would have seen the headlights. It was too late to do anything. She hated the road JC lived on. The road was full of twist and turns. It was barely wide enough for two cars. Add in the cars parked randomly on the side of the street there was no room. There was no where for her to go.

The other vehicle came around the corner. Rachel slammed on her brakes and yanked the wheel in an attempt to miss the car. There was no where to go. Everything was in slow motion. The cars collided. There was a violent sound of metal crunching and twisting. A scream filled the air. Bodies jerked forward; the seatbelts catching and digging into skin. It was over in seconds. A sweet smell circled around them as radiator fluid leaked out from beneath the hood. The smell mixed with the scent of gunpowder. Powder was everywhere. Silence reigned.


	30. Chapter 30

Rachel groaned. She was having a hard time making sense of what happened. Her head hurt. There was a sticky substance running down the side of her face. She was covered in powder. Her arms were on fire. Someone was crying near her and she fought with her brain.

“Mom?” McKenzie cried. She lifted her arm and ran a hand over her face, brushing away the powdery substance she was now covered with. She felt a pain in her chest along the line where her seatbelt rest. “Mom?” She called again and looked over. She could see her mother moving and breathed a sighed of relief. “Mom…” she cried and reached out to her mom.

Rachel cried out in pain when she felt the touch on her arm. She clenched her eyes shut and pressed the back of her head into the head rest. The voice calling out sounded as if it was under water or she was under water. “Kenzi…” she whispered as the fog in her brain started clearing. “Kenzi…”

“Mom.” McKenzie cried.

Rachel’s eyes popped open and she sat up. The movement caused her to groan and she heard her daughter cry out. Turning her heard she saw McKenzie staring at her from the passenger seat. There was very little light in the area. It was hard to see. Her eyes burned from the powder. “McKenzie…” she whispered. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” McKenzie cried, sniffling. “You’re bleeding!” She gasped, seeing the blood on her mother’s face when the light hit it. 

Rachel raised a hand and touched the side of her face. Her fingers came away red. She groaned. “You’re okay though? Anything hurt?”

“My chest hurts a little,” McKenzie said.

“When need to get out of the car,” Rachel gingerly moved to unbuckle the seat belt, then reached for the door. It wouldn’t budge. “My door’s stuck. Can you get out?”

“No. You hit the parked car on this side. We’re right up against it. I can’t open my door.” 

“Okay. It’s okay.” Rachel breathed, clenching her eyes shut. “We need to call 9-1-1. Do you have your phone?”

“I lost it in the crash. I think… I think it’s on the floor.”

“It’s okay.” She jumped when she heard a knock on the window. She looked and saw a woman standing there. “I can’t open the door. We’re stuck.” She yelled loudly.

“Are you hurt?” The lady yelled. “I called 9-1-1.”

“We’re okay.” Rachel said. The lady disappeared from her window and heard the commotion behind her. A few seconds later, the back door was open.

“Can you guys crawl to the back seat?” The lady leaned into the car. “The guy in the other car is uninjured. He’s already out of his car.”

“Kenz…” Rachel looked at her daughter. “What are you doing?” She asked seeing McKenzie leaning forward, her head by her knees. “Are you okay?”

“I’m trying…” McKenzie groaned and leaned further. Her fingers just touched the corner of her phone. Curling her fingers around it she sat up triumphant. She moaned as the movement caught up with her. 

“Easy…” Rachel warned. “You could have a head injury. Do you think you can climb into the back and out the door?”

“I’m not leaving you,” McKenzie was quick to respond. 

“I’m going to be right behind you. I promise.”

“Okay…” McKenzie lifted her feet onto the seat and pushed up. She turned her body and climbed into the back. The lady helped her out of the mangled car with a comforting hand. 

“Easy.” The lady said. “There you go. Let me help you to the curb to sit.”

“No,” McKenzie shook her head. “Please help my mom.” 

“Alright,” the lady relented. She turned back to the car and climbed into the backseat. “Ma’am, do you think you can climb into the backseat?” 

“That’s the first time anyone has ever asked me to climb into the backseat.” 

The lady let out a surprised laugh. “Obviously you’ve been dating the wrong people.” 

“Not anymore,” Rachel said as she slowly started to move. It was easier for McKenzie to climb out. She was smaller and didn’t have the hindrance of the steering wheel in the way. “Got the right one now.”

“That’s great,” The lady smiled. “Try pushing the seat back. That should give you more room.” She could hear the sirens in the distance. When she called 9-1-1 she hadn’t been able to tell them if there had been any injuries. It had been the loudest pop she had ever heard from inside her house. It had sent her checking her cameras first. When she saw the accident outside her house, she quickly ran out. Her phone to her ear before she had even made it to the street. The cars had been smashed together. Her car had been parked along the side of the road had been collected as well. It had always been a fear of hers, but after five years of living on the street and no accidents she had heard about, the fear had slowly waned. Her husband was cleaning the garage out this weekend whether he liked it or not. She was no longer going to be parking on the road.

Rachel leaned down between the door and the seat and pressed the button to move her seat back. It didn’t give her much room, but it was enough to be able to maneuver out of the front seat and into the back seat.

“Oh Sweetie,” the lady gasped seeing the woman’s arms in the street light. “Your arms…”

Rachel looked down and finally saw why her arms felt like they were on fire. Red burns littered the inside of both arms from her palms to her elbow. She frowned, unable to figure out where they had come from.

“Mom! What happened?” McKenzie gasped leaning into the open door.

“I…I don’t know.” Rachel said as she stared at her arms.

“The paramedics will be here soon.” The lady assured both mother and daughter. “Come on, let’s get you girls away from this mess.” She led them over to the curb in front of her house and helped them sit down. “Do you need a blanket? This is my house.”

Rachel shook her head. “No thank you.”

“Is there anyone I can call?”

“JC! Mom! We gotta call JC!” McKenzie exclaimed, clutching her phone in her hand. “Please?” 

“Let me,” Rachel held out her hand for her daughter’s phone. Her phone was still in her purse somewhere in the car. She took McKenzie’s phone and found JC’s number in the contacts. 

JC reached for his phone on the coffee table when it started to ring. Lifting it up, he smiled seeing McKenzie’s name. 

“No way they made it home.” Heather said looking at the clock on the wall. “Rachel might drive bat shit crazy but no way she could make an hour drive in 15 minutes.”

“I’ll tell her you said that.” JC grinned as he tapped accept and lifted the phone to his ear. “Hey Kenz. What’s up? Did you forget something?”

Rachel’s eyes closed at his voice and she wanted him there. “It’s Rachel. We were in an accident.”

“What? An accident?” JC nearly shouted. He quickly stood up and left the room where he took the stairs two at a time to his room. “Are you okay? Kenzi? Where are you?” He pushed off the sweatpants he had changed in to after Rachel and McKenzie had left. His parents had gone to bed, but everyone else was gathered in the living room watching the latest Marvel movie. He pulled on a pair of jeans that had been tossed over the chair he had worn earlier before changing in to slacks for dinner.

“I’m not sure where I am…” The sirens grew louder and she could see the lights illuminating the sky. “Still on your road.”

JC pulled the phone away from his ear. He could hear the sirens from his place. They were feint. She couldn’t have been far from him. “Are you hurt? What about McKenzie?”

“McKenzie’s okay.” Rachel rested her head in her hand. McKenzie had laid her head on her shoulder. “I’m okay.”

“No you’re not,” McKenzie said, lifting her head up. “You’re not fine. You’re bleeding. Your arms…”

JC moved faster hearing McKenzie’s muffled words. He grabbed his keys and wallet from the top of his dresser and went back down the stairs. “Do you have any idea where you are?” He slid his feet into his shoes at the door. 

“JC? What’s going on?” Tyler asked as they all gathered at JC’s front door.

“Rachel and McKenzie were in a car accident.” JC explained what he knew.

“I’ll drive.” Tyler said as he put his shoes on. “Don’t argue.” He saw the look on JC’s face. 

Both men climbed into the car and Tyler quickly turned around in the neighbor’s drive to follow the way Rachel had taken. 

“I don’t know where…” Rachel said then cut off as a firetruck arrived. Followed by police cars and ambulances. The lady who had helped them from the car walked off to wave them down and bring them over. When she came back she asked where she was and relayed the information to JC.

“Okay. Good.” JC nodded even though Rachel couldn’t see. “You’re not that far. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes, okay?”

“Okay.” Rachel said softly. “Hurry.”

*~*

JC jumped from the car before he was even sure Tyler had stopped. The emergency trucks had all come from the opposite direction, so they had been able to go right up to the accident. His steps slowed as he saw the cars. Rachel’s passenger side was pressed up against another car. A third car was crunched into the front of Rachel’s car. Most of the damage had been sustained on the driver’s side on both vehicles. The airbags in Rachel’s car had been deployed. 

“Wow,” Tyler said as he came up behind JC, surveying the damage. 

“Yeah,” JC said and he made his way around the wrecked cars. Emergency personnel were not moving with a sense of urgency and that caused him to relax a little bit. Had there been serious injuries, everyone would be moving quicker. Even though Rachel had told him on the phone she and McKenzie were both okay, he needed to see them. 

He saw McKenzie first talking with a police officer. He changed direction making his way toward her. “Kenzi!” He called and saw her head snap up, looking in his direction.

“JC!” McKenzie quickly made her to him. When she reached him she threw her arms around his waist. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” JC ducked his head, whispering into her hair. He hugged her. His eyes closed in relief. She was okay. He felt her body start to shake. “Shhh, don’t cry. It’s okay Kenzi.” 

“The headlights were right in front of us,” McKenzie whispered. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She tightened her arms around him, pressing her cheek harder against his chest. “Mom tried to miss the car…”

“I know.” JC comforted the teenager. “Come on, it’s okay.” When she picked her head off his chest, his heart broke at the sight of her tears. “Did you get checked out?”

McKenzie nodded. She rubbed at her tears with the back of her hands. She hissed when she rubbed against the burn on her cheek.

“What happened?” JC tilted her head up so he could look at the marks on her face. He could see what looked like burn marks on her chin, cheek, and forehead.

“The paramedic said it was burns from the airbag. You should see mom.”

“Where is she?” JC raised his head to look around.

“In the ambulance.” Without thinking McKenzie took JC’s hand and pulled him to the ambulance.

JC’s eyes widened when he saw Rachel. She was sitting on the end of the stretcher in the back of the ambulance. A paramedic sat next to her tending to wicked looking burns on one forearm. Her other forearm looked just as bad. At McKenzie’s “Mom”, Rachel looked up and he saw the rest of the injuries. There were burns on her neck and like McKenzie, her chin, cheek, and forehead. There was also a gash right below her hairline. 

“JC…” Rachel whispered, wincing as more solution was pouring onto her forearm.

“My God…” Without asking or waiting to be invited, JC climbed into the ambulance on Rachel’s free side. He wanted to take her hand but the sight of the red burns stopped him. He wasn’t sure where to touch and settled for a hand on her back. “Are you okay?”

Rachel nodded. “Yeah,” she said softly. She sent him a small smile before it turned in to a grimace. “I have to go to the hospital. They need to check the burns to make sure they aren’t chemical.”

“They came from the airbag too?” JC asked, seeing both Rachel and the paramedic nod. 

“Can you take McKenzie to your place while I go to the hospital?” Rachel asked JC.

“What?” McKenzie moved forward looking up into the ambulance. “No. I’m coming with you.”

“Kenzi…” Rachel said softly. 

“No!” McKenzie shouted loudly. “I’m going to the hospital with you. You can’t send me away.”

“I’m not sending…” 

“No. I have to go with you. I need to be there. What if something happens and I’m not there. They say you’re fine but what if you’re not? What if something happens and…I… I…” McKenzie’s eyes filled with tears. “I kept calling your name and you didn’t answer… you didn’t answer and I…”

JC jumped from the back of the ambulance and gathered McKenzie in his arms as she started crying. He held her as he tried shush her tears. The adrenaline from the crash was wearing off. The last place McKenzie needed to be was the hospital. There was no telling how long Rachel was going to be. He wasn’t sure how to make her stay at his house. He wasn’t sure if he could make himself stay at his house and not be at the hospital with Rachel. “It’s okay Kenz,” he whispered, stroking her hair. “You’re okay.”

“I was so scared.”

“I know Sweetie.” JC continued stroking her hair, as she held him tight. “Your mom is going to be fine, okay? Let me take you home. We were watching the latest Thor movie. We can start it over or pick something else.”

“But Mom will be alone…” McKenzie lifted her head from his chest and looked into the ambulance at her mother. “We can’t leave her alone.”

McKenzie said exactly what JC had been thinking. He didn’t want Rachel to be alone. He wanted to go with her but McKenzie needed to go home. To his place. Where she could rest. Where she could recover. Where he could keep an eye on her. But he needed to go to the hospital with Rachel. He was torn. He couldn’t be in two places at once.

“Uncle Lance can meet me at the hospital.” Rachel spoke up. She lifted a hand and wiped at her eyes. Her eyes were still irritated from the powder released when the air bag deployed. “He lives right around the corner. If I call him now, he’ll arrive at the hospital at the same time I will. Then I won’t be alone.” She watched as her daughter looked at her then at JC, then back at her. She could see the gears turning in her head. “McKenzie, I know you want to go to the hospital with me. But it would be better if you go back to JC’s. You can borrow some clothes and lay down. Rest. That’s the best thing you can do right now is rest. You won’t be able to do that at the hospital.”

“Okay.” McKenzie said softly, agreeing. “Uncle Lance will keep us updated right?”

“Of course he will.” Rachel nodded.

“When you can leave, you’ll come to JC’s? You won’t go home or go to Uncle Lance’s?”

“Of course I’ll come to JC’s. That’s where my family will be.”

*~*

_‘On our way.’_

The beep of his phone woke JC. He was momentary confused to find himself in his living room on the couch. His TV screen was a muted color as Netflix asked if he was still watching. He wasn’t. He hadn’t been for several hours. It was the only light in the room. Everything else had been turned off. Next to him McKenzie slept on.

When he got back to his house with McKenzie in tow, they were immediately descended upon. The questions came fast and quick. It made him feel like he was walking the carpet before some music award show. McKenzie had clung to him; her nails digging in to the skin right above the crease of his elbow. When he finally got his family to back off and give them a little room, he had asked Heather if she had something for McKenzie to change in to.

It had taken a lot of coaxing from he and Heather both, but his sister was able to get McKenzie to let go of him and go into the bedroom and change. Then he answered the questions everyone had, the best that he could. Yes, McKenzie had been medically cleared to come home with him. Yes, Rachel was okay. No, no one had been seriously injured. No, Rachel was not alone. Yes she was coming back to his place when the hospital released her. When McKenzie had reappeared wearing a black t-shirt with The Rolling Stones logo and a pair of black sweatpants, his family knew she was overwhelmed and scared. They backed off and let JC take control.

That worked until JC became overwhelmed with not knowing how to take care of her. Should he give her Tylenol? Ibuprofen? Something else? Did he need to put a topical cream on the burns on her face? Did she need a heating pad for the sole muscles or an ice pack? Would she be better off lying in a bed or was the couch fine? The mini freak out in his head lasted until his mother pulled him aside and told him to calm down. The last thing McKenzie needed was to see him lose control. It was hard because he still wasn’t certain McKenzie shouldn’t be in the hospital being checked out by doctors. He still wasn’t certain he shouldn’t be at the hospital with Rachel. 

But he had blown out a breath in the privacy of his bathroom. McKenzie needed him. Rachel needed him. She was counting on him to take care of her daughter. Somewhat settled he had grabbed the Ibuprofen and read the bottle and shook out the recommended dosage for McKenzie’s age. While he had been gone, someone had found a pillow and a blanket. He silently cursed himself for not getting her settled on the couch before he went to find medicine. Turns out it didn’t matter. 

JC looked down at his side, a smile gracing his lips. McKenzie had turned around on the couch the moment he had sat down. Her pillow had been placed against his side and she had used it and his leg as a pillow. His hand still rested on her shoulder, a comforting measure for the both of them. He found he needed to reassure himself that she was there and that she was okay. They had settled in to watch Jumanji on Netflix. JC was certain McKenzie hadn’t even made it through the opening scene. He hadn’t lasted much longer.

His phone beeped again and he remembered why he had woken up in the first place. He lifted it from the arm of the couch and looked at the display reading the message from Lance. He breathed a sigh of relief. Rachel was coming home. It took him awhile to work his way off the couch without disturbing McKenzie. When he was standing, he pulled the blanket up over her shoulders. Unable to stop himself, he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. 

_‘Open the door’_

JC dropped the clothes he had pulled from his drawers onto his bed and rushed downstairs. He turned off the alarm. When he opened the door he saw the Bass siblings walking toward him. He forced himself to wait and not rush forward. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” Lance said as they reached the door. “They gave her pain medication. If she needs more, simple over the counter will work.”

“How are you feeling?” JC asked, his heart aching when she raised her head to look at him and he got a good look at her face. 

“I’m okay.” Rachel reached out and gingerly grasped his fingers with hers. “Kenzi?”

“Sleeping on the couch pretty much from the moment we got here. Heather let her borrow some clothes. Gave her so Ibuprofen.”

“Thanks JC.” 

“All the doctor’s notes are in here,” Lance handed the print out of papers to JC as well as Rachel’s purse. “The dressings can come off in 24 hours. If needed, there are names of some topical cream to put on. She’ll be pretty sore for the next few days.”

“Thanks Man.”

“Of course,” Lance waved him off and turned to his sister. “Let him take care of you.”

“Yes Lance,” Rachel tried to smile but it hurt too much. 

“I’ll check in with you tomorrow.” He hugged her gingerly and kissed her temple.

As Lance waved goodbye, JC helped Rachel into his house and shut the door. “Come on,” he said after the alarm was set again. “I have some clothes you can sleep in. Bed is all ready for you.”

“Let me check on Kenzi.”

“Rachel.” JC relented and with a hand on her back, led her into his living room where McKenzie was still curled up underneath the blanket. 

“I saw the headlights and I knew there was nothing I could do…” she whispered as she stared down at her sleeping daughter.

“It’s okay,” JC wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He held her as tight as he dared but not as tight as he wanted. “You’re okay. Kenzi’s okay. And my heart will eventually turn to normal rhythm.”

“I’m sorry JC.” Rachel turned her head to look at him. She could barely make out his features in the dark. “I should have been paying closer attention. All I could think about was how I hated leaving you. And Kenzi was asking if we were gonna move in with you or if you would move in with us… And I just didn’t see the other car until it was too late. There was no where for me to go with the wall on one side and the parked car on the other…”

“Hey,” JC said softly. He gingerly cupped her face, careful of the burns. He brushed his lips against hers. “Calm down. It was an accident. It’s no one’s fault.”

“I don’t think the police see if that way.”

“If they don’t, we’ll deal with it. All that matters is you’re okay. That Kenzi’s okay. That’s all that matters.” He stood still when Rachel turned toward him. She took a small step forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her arms rested gently on his back. “All that matters is you two are okay,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. He pressed a kiss into her hair. “All that matters…”


	31. Chapter 31

McKenzie’s eyes shot open with a gasp. The headlights had been right in front of her. She had kept calling out for her mom but had received no answer. She pushed herself up and gasped in pain falling back on the couch. Tears pricked in her eyes as pain radiated up her back over her shoulders and across her chest. She had never felt anything like it before.

She took gasping breaths trying to sooth the pain. She was afraid to move. Every movement, even the most minute, caused pain. It didn’t make sense. After the accident she felt fine. There wasn’t this much pain. Why did it hurt now? There was nothing displaying the time in JC’s living room. She remembered a clock on the wall but that didn’t help in the darkness. Her phone was on the coffee table… or was it on the table next to the couch? Did JC take it and plug it in somewhere? Where was JC? He’d been sitting on the couch next to her. She’d fallen sleep against his leg. His hand have been carding through her hair.

There were so many questions. Where was her mom? Was she back from the hospital yet? How was she supposed to get help? With tears in her eyes, McKenzie pushed up crying out in pain as her muscles protested. It hurt too much. She collapsed back on the couch with a cry.

A light turned on from somewhere in the house. A few moments later a hand touched her back in a comforting gesture.

“Kenzi? Are you okay?” Karen whispered worriedly. She wasn’t sure what had woken her. Had been certain it was nothing. She had rolled back over to go back to sleep when she heard the sound again. It had been hard to decipher behind the closed door and had opened the bedroom door to check. That was when she heard the muffled cries. 

“It hurts,” McKenzie cried. “It hurts to move.”

“What hurts? Tell me where?”

“My back. My neck. My chest.”

“I was afraid this would happen,” Karen frowned.

“What?” McKenzie cried, clenching the couch cushions in her hands.

“You’re sore from the accident. The adrenaline wore off. All these aches were being covered up by the adrenaline and shock of being in a car accident,” Karen explained. 

“But it hurts so bad.”

“I know, Sweetie. I know.” Karen comforted. “It should be time for you to take more medicine. JC left it on the counter in the kitchen. I’ll see if I can find a heating pad as well. That will help loosen the muscles. Tomorrow you can soak in a hot bath with Epsom Salt. That will also help tremendously. Okay?”

“Where’s mom?” McKenzie questioned. “Is she back from the hospital? Where’s JC?”

“They’re sleeping in JC’s room. Your mom got back from the hospital a few hours ago. Just try and relax Kenzi. Let me get you something for the pain. Then I’ll track down the heating pad.” She hoped her son had one. She figured it was a staple in any household, but she couldn’t be positive anymore. In the kitchen she grabbed the bottle of Ibuprofen from the counter and shook out a pill. Armed with a pill and a bottle of water from the fridge she went back to the living room. It broke her heart to see the tears in McKenzie’s eyes. “Do you need me to help you?”

“Please,” McKenzie whispered. She wasn’t sure she could tilt her head to drink the water. 

“Let me get a straw.” Karen sat the items down on the coffee table and went back into the kitchen to find a straw. When she found one she quickly went back to McKenzie. Uncapping the water, she stuck the straw in and handed the pill to McKenzie. She watched as McKenzie popped it into her mouth and took a sip of water from the straw. “Good. That will kick in soon.”

Karen went off in search of a heating pad, looking in all the usual places. She didn’t find one. The only thing she was able to do was knock on JC’s door and see if it was in his bathroom or if he even had one. After climbing the stairs, she softly knocked on the door. It took a couple knocks before she heard her son mumble something that sounded like _‘what’_. She turned the handle and pushed the door open. The light from the hallway cast a glow in the room and she could make out the bed. Tiptoeing inside, she went to JC’s side and laid a hand on the arm that was casually tossed on top of the covers. Rachel was curled up against his side and Karen wondered if she needed pain medication as well. “JC?” Karen whispered, giving him a light shake. “It’s your mom.” 

JC blinked his eyes open in confusion. He could just make out his mother standing over him from the glow of the hall light. “What’s going on?” His speech was sleep slurred.

“It’s Kenzi.” She watched as he became fully awake. 

“What’s wrong? Is she okay?” JC asked. The last thing he had wanted to do was leave her sleeping on the couch, but there was no where else for her to sleep. All his rooms were taken.

“The adrenaline wore off.” Karen explained. “I could hear her crying.” 

“What?” JC froze at his mother’s words. McKenzie was crying. He hadn’t heard anything. What kind of person did that make him? His mother, who was right across the hall, heard the crying, but he continued to sleep on.

“JC—” Karen started as JC began to untangle himself from Rachel. “I got McKenzie. You stay here and take care of Rachel. I just wanted to ask if you had a heating pad. I’ve already given her more Ibuprofen but a heating pad would work until she can either soak in a hot tub or let the water from a hot shower hit her.”

“I should have thought of that,” JC said as he stood.

“It’s alright. It was a hectic night.”

“That’s no excuse.” JC went into his bathroom and dug the heating bad out from underneath the sink.

“JC I promise you, you’re doing a good job.” Karen assured her son when they stepped from his bedroom. 

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Trust me. You are.”

“Kenzi?” JC said softly as he entered the living room. The blanket was twisted around her, not even covering her upper body. She was laying on her stomach with her head turned facing outward. Her eyes opened when he called her name. “Oh Sweetie.” He knelt in front of her and reach out stroking her hair. 

“It hurts JC,” McKenzie cried. New tears formed in her eyes. “It hurts to move.”

“I know.” JC frowned and looked over his shoulder to his mother. “Does she need to go to the hospital?” 

Karen shook her head. “She needs to rest. Apply some heat to the sore muscles. Tomorrow she can soak in an Epson Salt bath.”

“I don’t have any.”

“I can run to the store in the morning to pick some up. Probably pick up another heating pad. No doubt Rachel will be wanting one tomorrow too.”

“Should we do it now?” JC asked, already thinking. He could run to the CVS on Fairfax. He believed it was open 24 hours. He also thought the Rite Aid on Sunset was 24 hours as well. “I can go right now and—”

“Don’t leave.” McKenzie reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.

JC looked at McKenzie. “If I can get something to help you Kenz. I don’t want to see you in pain.”

“It’s four in the morning JC. The Ibuprofen I gave her will be kicking in soon. Get the heating pad on the worst place first. It will start to relax the muscles. She’ll be able to sleep.”

“The couch can’t be comfortable.” JC said as he looked at it. He thought his couch was plenty comfortable. Had fallen asleep on it many times. The piece of furniture wasn’t an ideal place for someone who had just been in a car accident to sleep. There was plenty of room in his bed. She could sleep on the other side of Rachel. If she was there, then he would be able to take care of them both instead of not being there when McKenzie needed him. 

“It hurts to move,” McKenzie whispered. She could feel the medicine kicking in though. She didn’t feel as tense as she had earlier.

“I know, but you need to lay in a real bed. Let the medicine and heating pad do the trick.” JC spoke softly to her. He rubbed his hand in a comforting manner up and down her back. “We’ll move as slow as you need. You hold on to me.”

Karen stood back but poised to help. She watched as JC spoke softly to McKenzie. His voice low so she couldn’t make out the words. His hand continued to move on her back and she imagined the movements were in effort to relax not only the muscles, but the girl as well. The amount of love JC was showing the girl made her heart swell. He was such a good father. Would be a great father to McKenzie and any children he may have in the future. She made a mental note to tell him that before she left. He needed to hear it in case he had any insecurities. It wasn’t easy coming in and raising a child in the middle of their growing. But she knew JC was going to be just fine.

*~*

“Hey,” JC said softly when he saw Rachel’s eyes blink open. He brushed his hand across her forehead, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore.” Rachel let her eyes flutter shut as she assessed her aches and pains. Definitely sore. “Why are you whispering?”

“We have company.” JC nodded in his head signaling behind Rachel where McKenzie was curled up. It had been his spot until McKenzie woke up during the night in pain. He’d been able to coax her up the stairs and into the bed. With the medicine in her system and the heating pad on her upper back, it hadn’t taken McKenzie long to fall asleep. For awhile he had sat at the end of the bed watching over both mother and daughter.

When morning had dawned he had tried to make the CVS run. His mother refused to allow him to leave. _‘Your place is here with them.’_ Those had been her exact words. He didn’t argue. After all, his mom didn’t raise an idiot. His mom had grabbed Tyler to run to the store. When he heard them return, he slipped from the room to see what had been picked up. He had to chuckle seeing the two dozen donuts and Starbucks coffee containers. Before heading back upstairs, he grabbed a jelly filled donut and a large cup of coffee. He needed all the caffeine he could get. There had been very little sleep on his part the night before.

Rachel turned her head, grimacing at the twinge of pain in her neck at the movement. She hoped a shower would work the knots loose. Her eyes widened seeing her daughter. McKenzie was facing her, lying on her side. An arm was bent beneath the pillow. The other lay tucked to her chest. Even in sleep, Rachel could tell McKenzie was in pain. She could see how tense her daughter was. “What’s going on?”

“It’s been a long night,” JC said, watching as Rachel ran her fingers down McKenzie’s cheek tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. There were no words to describe how JC felt. He wanted to gather both mother and daughter in his arms. Hold them. Protect them. Keep them safe. When Rachel looked at him, he explained what had happened only a few hours before.

“You should have woken me up.”

“You weren’t in any condition to help. You needed to sleep as well. I was able to take care of her.”

Rachel turned her head to look back at McKenzie. “I’m not used to having anyone else. It’s always been me.”

JC placed his fingers on her chin and turned her head to face him. He saw the flash of pain cross her face. Her discharge papers were sitting on the bedside table within reach. Next to his coffee. Both of their phones. He had the discharge papers memorized. Once it grew light enough in his room, he read the instructions over and over. The last thing he wanted was to cause an issue with the healing process because he didn’t follow the doctor’s orders. “It’s not just you any longer.” 

Tears filled Rachel’s eyes causing JC’s face to blur in front of her.

“Hey,” JC said softly seeing the tears. He brushed one away as it fell from the corner of her eye toward her hair. Her fingers gripped his, careful of the bandaged palm. Bringing the hand to his lips, he placed a kiss on her knuckles.

“Help me sit up?” Rachel asked as she tightened her fingers around his. She pressed the fingers from her free hand into the mattress for support. The blankets pooled to her waist as she rose revealing the t-shirt JC had given her to sleep in.

“Careful,” JC whispered. He wished she would have stayed laying down. Laid there and let him take care of her. He hid his surprise when she leaned forward letting her head rest against his shoulder. He brought his arms up around her and shifted closer, pressing a kiss into her hair. He closed his eyes and sighed, thankful that she was here in his arms. There had been a real possibility the night before that he wouldn’t get the opportunity to hold her again.

“I don’t know how to thank you. Coming to us. Taking care of Kenzi. Letting us stay…”

“Hey... no…” JC interrupted her. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I love you. I’m gonna be here to take care of you. To take care of Kenzi.”

“I’m so glad you were there.”

“Me too.” He hoped he never received a phone call like that again.

“What time is it?” 

“Eight thirty.”

Rachel lifted her head quickly, causing her to gasp and moan in pain. She reached for her neck and grimaced when the wraps on her hands rubbed against the burns.

“Whoa,” JC reached for her hands and gently held her fingers. “Easy.” He cupped the back of her head and brought it back to his shoulder. He kneaded his fingers on her neck, hoping to ease the discomfort.

“I need to call the school.”

“Relax,” JC murmured, continued to knead her neck. “I already did.”

“You did?” Rachel let her eyes drift shut and relaxed into JC’s touch.

“I got the number from your phone and called. There was an issue because it was me and I’m not on her paperwork. Not sure why that matters to just tell them she won’t be there.” He shrugged. “But I sicced Mel on them. Which reminds me that you are to call her as soon as you can.”

“She’s a force to reckon with. The administrators keep hoping she’ll move out of the district.” Rachel chuckled. “Thank you JC.”

“What did I tell you about that?”

“Mom?” 

Rachel carefully lifted her head from JC’s shoulder and turned. McKenzie’s eyes were open. It was the only difference. She hadn’t moved. “Hey Sweetie,” she put a smile on her face and tried to blink back the tears. She ran her fingers along the side of her daughter’s face, starting at the temple and down her cheek. “How are you feeling?” 

“Hurts.” 

“I know. I’m sorry Kenz. I think I’m gonna call your doctor see if I can’t get you in. It couldn’t hurt to get checked again.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” JC spoke up. He placed his hand on McKenzie’s knee. He was all for a doctor checking her out. Not that he doubted the paramedics from last night. Her tears last night scared him. 

“Do I have to go to the doctor? Karen said all I needed to do was soak in the tub with salt.” She scrunched her face in confusion. “Not sure how that helps.”

A smile curved on Rachel’s face. “Not regular salt. Epsom salt. It’s different. We can try that. If it doesn’t work…”

“I don’t have anything to change in to.” 

Rachel didn’t either. She wanted to shower. Knew the hot water on her body would cure most of her aches and pains. She wasn’t looking forward to the water hitting the burns on her arms. “It will probably be easier if we go home.”

“I don’t want to leave,” McKenzie said at the same time JC said, “stay.” 

Rachel looked at her daughter’s hopeful look then to JC’s. _‘Let him take care of you.’_ Those had been Lance’s words last night when he handed her off to JC after bringing her back to his place from the hospital. _‘It’s not just you any longer.’_ JC had spoken only a few moments ago. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t want to go home either. “Why do I have a feeling you guys are gonna turn those faces on me an awful lot to get what you want?”

JC grinned moving his hand off McKenzie’s knee to Rachel’s leg. He gave it a squeeze, happy that this time, he got what he wanted. “I got a closet full of clothes. All the sweatpants, t-shirts, and hoodies you could possibly need.”

McKenzie grinned and very gingerly rolled over onto her back. The bed had felt better than the couch. She wasn’t sure if that had caused her to be able to sleep or if it was the fact that her mom and JC were right there with her. “I’m hungry.”

“Mom and Tyler picked up donuts when they ran out this morning. Coffee too. Knowing Mom, she’s probably guarding the donuts so Tyler and Dad don’t eat them all. And knowing them, they are probably grumbling about being hungry and how there is enough for everyone.”

“How about we go save Tyler from starving to death, then you can soak in the tub?” 

“Okay.” McKenzie tossed the covers off and tried to sit up, hissing in pain. Hands grabbed her and she opened her eyes seeing JC in front of her.

“Just like last night okay?” JC spoke calmly to her. Getting her up from the couch had been a process. Every time she hissed in pain, a piece of his heart broke. There had been absolutely nothing he could do to make the pain disappear. Unfortunately McKenzie was just going to have to wait it out. First he helped her into a sitting position and waited when her hands clutched his.

“I got a headache.” McKenzie mumbled as she kicked the blankets the rest of the way off and swung her legs off the bed.

“We’ll get you some Tylenol,” Rachel told her daughter and tossed the covers back. 

“What are you doing?” JC asked. “I told you to wait. I’d help you.”

“I got it.” Rachel told him and carefully stood up. Her body protested the new position. She wanted to forgo the coffee and donuts and go straight to the shower. She stared longingly toward the bathroom, then turned away. Her daughter needed her. When she got McKenzie settled, she could take care of herself.

Hearing movement on the stairs, Karen immediately put her coffee cup down on the table and moved to the stairs. McKenzie was holding on to JC’s arm as they took the stairs one at a time; Rachel close behind. Judging by the grip McKenzie had on her son, Karen aborted reaching out for the girl to help. “Good morning,” she said with a smile. “I have donuts in the kitchen.” 

“Tyler didn’t eat them all?”

“What lies have you been telling about me?” Tyler said coming out of the kitchen, donut in hand.

“None.” JC grinned at his brother. “Which you’ve just proven.”

“What did I tell you?” Karen scolded her youngest child. 

“Unless Rachel and Kenzi are gonna eat a dozen on their own, there’s plenty.” Tyler said taking another bite of his donut. “If they do manage to put away a dozen, I’ll go and get more.”

“I was promised coffee,” Rachel said as she reached the bottom step. “If you drank all the coffee, we’re gonna have major issues.”

“Got you the largest cup Starbucks had,” Tyler assured her. 

“Bless you.” Rachel took a seat at the kitchen table. Karen placed the Starbucks coffee cup in front of her.

“You gonna be able to drink that?” Tyler asked looking at Rachel’s arms, still wrapped in the gauze from palm to elbow.

“I need it so bad, I’ll drink it with a straw if I have to.” Rachel told him as she gripped the cup with her fingers and thumb and brought it to her lips. The liquid was still hot but not burning hot. Taking a drink she nearly groaned in bliss. 

“What’s with the mummy look?” Drew asked as he came into the kitchen. “Are the donuts still hands off?”

“Stop drooling over the donuts.” JC pushed his brother-in-law away from the box of donuts that sat on the island. He picked it up and placed it on his table within reach of both McKenzie and Rachel. “Kenzi, you want a drink?”

“Orange juice,” McKenzie said as she reached for a jelly filled donut. 

“My arms got burnt from the airbag,” Rachel explained to Drew as JC pulled the orange juice from the fridge.

“No shit?” Drew asked reaching for a donut. 

Rachel nodded. “Doctor said it’s not all that uncommon with airbags.” 

“What happened?”

“Caught a car on one of the corners. I had a parked car on my side. I swerved. There was just no where for either of us to go.”

“Your road sucks, C.” Tyler grabbed another donut, ignoring the glare his mother was giving him.

JC had never really gave a lot of thought to the road he lived on before. It was curvy and narrow as it led up the hill toward his place. His place was on the very top of the hill that gave him the view overlooking West Hollywood. The downside of the hillside was there wasn’t room for a bigger road. Some places there was only enough room for one car to pass. Very few houses had driveways. His neighbor did, only because of the land and how the house was built. He did not. His drive was no bigger than the width of a sidewalk before the garage door. Another downside was parking. Visitors (and even residents) had to park on the road. That hindered traffic. An upside to living where he did was the only traffic on the road were of those who lived there.

When he purchased the house in 2000, he hadn’t been thinking about family life and safety. He’d been thinking about the view and being tucked far enough away he wouldn’t have to worry about crazy fans. In the fourteen years since, he had grown used to the road and never gave it a thought. Now his priorities were different. Rachel would be traveling the road often. In a few years McKenzie would have her license and driving. His stomach rolled at the thought. Maybe it was time to think about moving.


	32. Chapter 32

“Jesus,” Melissa stated as she stared at Rachel’s arms. “What the hell…”

“I told you my arms were burnt from the airbag,” Rachel told her friend as she unzipped the duffle bag Melissa had brought. Melissa had stopped by Rachel’s house and packed a bag of clothes for not only her but McKenzie. Her friend had also brought shower items along with other random items. McKenzie school bag and track bag. Her piano book. Rachel’s sketchbook which she wasn’t sure could even properly hold a pencil at the moment. Her friend’s heart was in the right place.

“Yeah but I hadn’t been expecting…that,” Melissa motioned toward her arms.

The gauze had been removed that morning. Her arms were an angry red which made her self conscious. Tyler hadn’t been able to stop staring before he and the rest of the Chasez clan left that morning for the airport. With JC’s family gone, his house had grown silent until The Fatone clan arrived. Lance and Michael had arrived as well. Rachel supposed she should be downstairs entertaining. After all, they did come to see her. However, she needed a shower and fresh underwear. 

“The doctor said it’s not uncommon for airbag burns. I did get it worse than usual.”

“Doesn’t it hurt to shower?” Melissa sat down on the bed and reached out, touching Rachel’s arm.

“When you touch it, it does.” Rachel moved her arm away and continued rifling through the bag. She paused when her hand hit a box. Pulling it out she stared at it then at Melissa who started giggling. “Seriously Mel? Condoms?”

“Why not? You’re gonna be here at least tonight and tomorrow night you said.” Melissa grinned. “Take advantage!”

Rachel felt a blush cover her face and put the box of condoms back in the bag, burying them beneath the clothes. “We were supposed to go out on a date tonight. I was gonna see if you’d take Kenzi for the night. On our trip to the mall I was gonna buy this black dress I saw at Bloomingdales. Stop at Victoria’s Secret…Seems like something always gets in the way.”

Melissa frowned at Rachel’s words. “They’ll be other date nights. Next Saturday you can go out. I’ll keep Kenzi. You guys go out… come back here…” she wiggled her eyebrows. “You could just move in here. Then you don’t have to wait until Saturday.”

“I’ve been thinking about that an awful lot.” Rachel confessed. “Even before Mississippi. I hate how we are always left standing in the driveway watching the other drive away. I’m not sure I can do some traditional dating for a year before we take it to the next step of living together. Waiting a couple more years before becoming engaged. Another year or so before we get married…”

“So don’t.” Melissa said simply. “There are no rules you have to follow. Joey and I moved in together almost immediately. Lance and Michael didn’t wait that long either. Do what feels right for you.”

“What if it doesn’t feel right to him?” 

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Rachel you can put a leash around his neck and lead him anywhere. Hell you don’t even need a leash. He’ll follow you regardless.”

“What exactly am I supposed to say? Can I move in with you? Seems sudden and needy.”

“Rachel. Why do you want to move in with him?”

“Because I love him. Because I’m so damn tired of watching the taillights of his car as he drives away. Because I’m tired of crawling in to bed alone. Because I want to wake up and him be there. Because I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“Then don’t waste any more time. This accident could have been so much worse. It could have ended badly. Go after what you want. You didn’t fifteen years ago. Do it now. Move in together today. Get married tomorrow. Have a baby in nine months.”

Rachel laughed. “Seems kind of sudden.”

“It’s been fifteen years!” Melissa said exasperated. “I thought Joey and I took forever. You and JC… molasses moves faster than the two of you. Hell, glaciers move faster! Pluto orbits the sun faster than you two.”

“Alright alright, I get it. We move slow.”

“Slow isn’t even the right word for what you and JC do.”

“What about Kenzi?”

“You’re kidding me right?” Melissa asked. “That girl thinks JC hung the moon. Seriously. You might as well get him bronzed and sit him on the mantle.” 

Rachel snorted. “That might hinder our ability to procreate and have that baby you want in nine months.” 

“Do I even want to know?” 

The girls turned around and saw JC in the doorway. They burst out laughing.

“Sorry you had to find out this way,” Melissa said laughing. “But Rachel and I are lesbian lovers.” She continued laughing even as a balled up shirt from Rachel hit her in the face.

“Goodbye Mel.” Rachel watched as Melissa left the room. “She forgets to take her meds.”

JC chuckled, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him. “I came up to see if you needed anything. Needed help.” Yesterday when she had showered, he had to help pull the shirt over her head and unclasp her bra. Then he stayed in the bathroom the entire time, ready in case she needed him.

“How much of the conversation with Mel did you overhear?” 

“Just the part about procreation and having a baby in nine months.” 

Rachel nodded and stopped emptying her bag. She turned and reached for JC’s hand, holding his fingers lightly with hers. She sat on the edge of the bed and he sat next to her. She stared at their hands, moving her thumb back and forth over his fingers. From the angle she could see the marks on her skin; a reminder that everything could have been different.

“Rachel?” JC said after the silence stretched on. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I love you.”

JC smiled squeezing her fingers. “I love you too.” 

“I’m not really good at this.” She took a breath and raised her head, meeting his eyes. She could see the questions in them. “I want to move in together. I know we haven’t been together very long and I’m sure there is some sort of relationship timeline we should follow… but our relationship isn’t like most. I’m so tired of kissing in driveways and watching you drive away or driving away from you. I’m tired of late night phone calls before bed when all I want is for you to be there with me. I hated leaving Thursday night. That’s all I could think of as I was driving away. How I wanted to stay. How I wanted to come in here and get ready for bed. How I wanted you to crawl in beside me. How we would make love then fall asleep in each other’s arms.”

JC had been thinking the same thing Thursday as he watched Rachel drive away. Every time she and McKenzie left, his heart left too. They were his family. Just like his father had told him. Not like his mom and dad or Tyler and Heather, but his family. They were his. His girls. His world. Just like he had told Lance, Joey, and Michael downstairs when he asked their advice on if he should mention them moving in together. The advice had been unanimous. 

He broke the hold her hand had on his and cupped her cheek. “I’ve been trying to think of a reason to not have to say goodbye since that day in the parking lot next to the cafe. I wanted to tell you to pack a bag Thursday and stay. We could get Kenzi to school on time. Getting up early would have been worth it to have you here with me. To not have to watch you drive away.” He gave a small chuckle. “You beat me to it. I was going to ask to move in with you.”

“Move in with me?” Rachel repeated shocked. “You want to move in with me? As in my house? But what about your house?”

“This is just a house. Your house is a home. Kenzie’s already been through enough. I don’t want to add to it by making her move here. The only change for me would be a longer drive in to the city. I’m okay with that.”

“You’re serious?” Rachel asked, still shocked. She had expected to move in to JC’s house. While she loved the house in Calabasas, she only rented it. She’d only lived in it for two years. There hadn’t been much of an attachment on her part. 

“I’m serious.” JC confirmed. “Your accident scared me. This road is terrible and I don’t want to get another phone call like that again. Not about you. Not about Kenzi when she starts driving in a few years…”

“I can’t believe you’d do this…”

“I love you Rachel. I would do anything.”

Rachel leaned forward and kissed him. Their lips moved softly together as she brought her hands up to lightly cup his face. Her fingers ran over the stubble on his unshaven cheek. “I love you JC.”

“In a couple days, when you go back home, I’m bringing a bag and staying with you. We’ll handle the insurance and shopping for a new car. Once you’ve healed, we’ll start combining our places…”

“When I said I’d let you take care of me, I didn’t mean you could take over. You are not buying me a new car.”

JC smiled and kissed her again. “I never said I was buying you a new car. Though…” he pretended to think and started laughing when Rachel tickled his side with her fingers. “Maybe you should explain to me what I can and can’t do when taking care of you.”

“No buying me a car.” Rachel said sternly. “You wanna buy me something? Buy me tacos.”

“Car no. Tacos yes.” JC lips twitched as he fought back a grin.

Rachel stood up and giving his hand a tug until he stood up as well. “Taking care of me means helping me undress when I can’t do it myself.” While her muscles still ached, she was able to pull the shirt off her head unassisted. That didn’t mean she wanted to. “It also means joining me in the shower and helping wash my hair…”

“Lead the way.”

Rachel tugged on his hand and like Melissa said he would, he followed.

*~*

By the middle of June, JC was no closer being moved in to Rachel’s house. Most of his things still resided at his house in West Hollywood. Sure he had his clothes hanging in the closet and folded in the dresser. His bathroom items shared space in Rachel’s bathroom. Some of his music items were in the spare bedroom. Rachel’s house was just too small to accommodate the stuff he had accumulated over the ten years he lived in California. Even if he got rid of all the furniture in his house, Rachel’s house would still be bursting at the seams. Something had to give.

Moving Rachel and McKenzie in to his house wasn’t an option. There was no doubt everything would fit, he just wasn’t comfortable being on that road anymore. Maybe it was an overreaction on his part. After all, accidents can happen anywhere. If they moved in to his house, McKenzie wouldn’t be guaranteed a spot at the school she was currently in. He didn’t want her to leave all her friends. 

“Just buy a new place,” Joey said as he grabbed a soda from the fridge in Rachel’s kitchen. “Sell your place. You’re only renting this place. Find a place big enough to fit all your crap.”

That was an option JC had been contemplating. A new house would solve everything. They could find the house that was big enough to fit their things after they combed through duplicated items. Rachel needed room for her paintings; spaced to do her drawings. He didn’t care if she said she was fine sitting at the kitchen table. He wanted her to have her own space. He needed room for his music. His own studio space so his things weren’t cluttering up the living room like they were now.

“Lot of places on the market around here,” Joey continued. “As well as where Lance just moved.”

“But Kenzi goes to school here.”

Joey shrugged. “It’s only about an hour drive. Won’t be so bad in the mornings. After school might suck with traffic, but she’s in a million things anyway. So might work out. If living so far away bothers you, just look for a place around here.”

“What kind of place are we looking for?” Rachel asked as she walked into the kitchen with Melissa. They had been going over the latest rough sketches for their next book. 

“A hooker bar,” Joey said with a grin when he saw JC give a small shake of his head.

“Like you don’t know where those are.” Melissa teased. “You have their locations saved on your maps. Along with a detailed notes section.”

“Don’t be jealous,” Joey wrapped an arm around Melissa’s neck, pulling her into him. “You know you’re my favorite hooker.”

Melissa snorted and pushed him away. “I haven’t seen you leaving cash on the dresser lately.” 

“Well maybe tonight, but instead of pawning our heathens off on Rachel, you invited her heathen to our house for the night.”

“Should have offered first.”

“Bambina, that offer is always on the table.”

“Do you guys always talk about sex?” Briahna asked as she walked into the kitchen with McKenzie. McKenzie had a bag slung over her shoulder; all packed and ready to go.

“What else is there to talk about?” Joey grinned when his daughter groaned. He lived to embarrass her. “You heathens ready?”

Briahna rolled her eyes. “Yes Dad. We’ve been ready. Waiting for you to stop talking.”

“Mouthy for someone who I am taking shopping for skiing gear.” Joey tossed his can in the trash. “I’ll get you a blue Cinderella jacket. I bet they have matching skis. Disney Princess ones…”

Briahna rolled her eyes and nudged McKenzie’s arm. “And you wanted a dad. I’d have given you mine for free…”

“Sorry Kid,” Joey wrapped an arm around Briahna’s neck much like he had done to his wife earlier. “You’re stuck with me forever. Lucky you.”

“Lucky me,’ Briahna grumbled as she untangled herself from her father. 

McKenzie met JC’s eyes and smiled when he winked at her. JC moving in hadn’t upset anything at all. He slid seamlessly into their routines. The last month of school he had taken her to school and picked up afterward. He’d been there for her final track meets, her spring band concert, her school awards, and her piano recital. At home it hadn’t taken him very long to become another parental figure. She had been shocked the first time he raised his voice at her when she coped an attitude with her mother. From the look on his face, he had been shocked as well. She hadn’t told her mother he apologized when he came into her bedroom that night to tell her goodnight. 

“You remember the rules?” 

McKenzie looked at her mother and rolled her eyes. “Yes Mom. No heart attack inducing purchase on the credit card.”

“Right.” Rachel told her daughter. The Fatones were heading into the city to purchase their skiing gear for the Colorado vacation over the holidays. Since McKenzie was staying the night at their house, she was tagging along. Rachel had given her daughter her credit card so she could get what she needed as well. She trusted Joey to make sure she was outfitted properly. That might have been a mistake on her part, but she was sure Melissa would keep Joey in line. JC already had everything he needed. That had left her. She couldn’t purchase anything at the moment. She met JC’s eye across the room and smiled. He returned her a smile and Rachel grinned. He had no idea.

“Alright, time to go. Faster we get there the faster we can get out.” Joey said, not looking forward to taking the entire family to get ski gear. 

“I’ll take them, if you take the girls to the One Direction concert.”

“Nope!” Joey said quickly before Rachel even finished the statement. “Not a chance.”

“Bye Mom! Bye JC!” McKenzie called and sent them a wave as she followed Briahna’s family out the door.

“You’re not getting out of that concert,” JC pushed off the counter where he had been leaning. “Face it. Come September you’re gonna be in the middle of thousands of screaming girls.”

“I’ll just close my eyes and pretend I’m back at the Backstreet Boys concert.” Rachel walked from the kitchen into the living room with JC following behind her. She took a seat on the couch and laid her head on JC’s shoulder when he sat next to her. Las Vegas had been a few weeks ago. McKenzie and Briahna spent the weekend with Lance and Michael while Kloey and Caleb went to Melissa’s parents. The four of them had flown to Las Vegas on Friday and spent the whole weekend on the go. That weekend Rachel had pulled out the little black dress from Bloomingdales and the matching black lace bra and panty set from Victoria’s Secret. Heather and Sarah had been right. He had forgotten his name. The weekend had been so much fun.

“What place were you and Joey looking for?” 

“Oh, uhm, we were just talking.” JC said. He wasn’t ready to broach the subject of buying a new house. He wanted to do a little more research first.

“About hooker joints?”

JC laughed. “Not hardly. We were discussing houses.” It wasn’t a lie. It was technically the truth. He and Joey had been discussing houses.

“That’s a topic I’d like to discuss because this isn’t working.”

“We’ll get it situated. I know it’s a little cluttered right now.” 

“I’ve seen houses on Hoarders look better than this one.” Rachel said dryly. She sat up and turned to face JC, bending her leg on the couch. “Most of your things are still at your house. You’re cramped in the spare bedroom… don’t think I haven’t heard the mutterings when you’re in there trying to work. Let’s face it. The house is too small for us.”

JC frowned. It had been exactly what he had been thinking though. “I guess we can move in to my house. There would be…” he trailed off when Rachel shook her head.

“You know I hate driving my car up your road.” The insurance company had totaled her other car out, which hadn’t been a surprise. The vehicle she had purchased had been similar in nature. It offered plenty of seating and room. There was no telling what she’d be hauling or how many kids she’d be carrying on any given day with McKenzie. “While you have a pool and that’s nice. You don’t have a yard. You don’t even have sidewalks.”

“A yard? Sidewalks?” JC repeated. 

“Yes,” Rachel nodded. “We need to look for another house that’s big enough for what we need.”

“A yard and sidewalks?” JC repeated again, confused.

“Exactly.” Rachel grinned. “We’re gonna need a room for us and McKenzie obviously. We’ll need a room for the baby. Plus you need a room for your music. I need one for my art.”

“Baby?” JC repeated dumbfounded. His brain had skittered to a halt. He stared at Rachel, her mouth wide in a smile. “Baby?”

“I’m pregnant JC.” Rachel grinned and watched as his face transformed.

“You’re pregnant?” JC repeated in awe. His eyes looked at her belly; obviously still flat. “We’re gonna have a baby?”

Rachel nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

“We’re having a baby.” JC pulled her into his arms, laughing, hugging her tight. “We’re having a baby.”

Rachel laughed. She buried her head into his neck, sniffling, overcome with tears. His arms tightened around her as she cried. Finding out she was pregnant had brought many emotions for her. It hadn’t been possible to keep the secret but for a couple days. She’d snuck away yesterday to her doctor’s for the test. Confirming the pregnancy test she had done in secrecy in her bathroom. 

He lifted his head, pulling back slightly and Rachel lifted hers. He cupped her face, wiping the tears away. “This is the best news ever,” he whispered. His eyes were wet with tears. “Marry me.”

“What?” Rachel’s eyes widened hearing JC.

“Marry me, Rachel.” JC stared into her eyes, watching as they filled with even more tears. He hadn’t pictured asking Rachel this way. He didn’t even have the ring on him. Christmas had been an idea, but he hadn’t wanted to wait that long. Nothing had been planned. Sitting there he realized it was perfect. They hadn’t followed any set plan from the moment they met. Why should they start now? He had the ring and he had Jim’s permission. Most importantly of all, he had McKenzie’s permission.

When Rachel nodded her head and said yes, JC pulled her to him and kissed her. After fifteen years, they had finally gotten it right.


	33. Chapter 33

“What do you have there?” Rachel asked, spying her daughter sitting on one of the beds in the room she shared with Leighton and Briahna. She walked in to the room, sitting down on the bed next to McKenzie. Music and laughter floated in from the main room where everyone was gathered enjoying Christmas night. The presents had been opened that morning. The afternoon had been spent skiing and playing in the snow. Weather cooperated and flakes had fallen all day long. It had truly been a white Christmas. Just what the Bass family have been searching for.

The day had been magical from the moment she had woken, cradled in JC’s arms. His hands moved across her protruding belly, caressing it lightly through the pajama top she wore. The day was still dawning outside their bedroom window and she snuggled deeper into his arms wanting to snatch as much time with him as she could before chaos reigned with the excitement of Christmas morning. When she moved, JC had tightened his arms around her, pulling her more firmly against him. She lay snuggled with her back to his chest and she couldn’t wait until there was no more belly between them. 

One more month.

Her due date was fast approaching. It was now less than a month away. January 24th. The date was circled multiple times on the calendar at home. The countdown was on. In August they had purchased a beautiful house not for from the house she had rented. It offered a yard in a beautiful neighborhood with sidewalks for walks. There was plenty of room for their things. A room where JC could work on music. A room where Rachel would work on her art. There were also plenty of rooms where she and JC could expand their family beyond McKenzie and the new baby.

A boy. 

The nursery was already finished. Done up in a greys and blues. McKenzie had helped decide the color scheme and much of the decor in the room. One weekend in September McKenzie had helped JC paint what would be her baby brother’s room. It was her favorite room in the house. Many days and nights JC would find her sitting in the rocker; dreaming and wishing and waiting. Dreaming of when she would be holding a tiny little baby, swaddled in a receiving blanket, suckling her breast. Wishing the days would pass quickly so the dream would become a reality.

JC had been everything she knew he would. If not slightly underfoot at times. She couldn’t get mad at him. It was cute watching him read everything he could. There was an app on his phone that gave him weekly updates on the baby. How big he was. What was developing. When the app told him the baby would be able to hear, JC took to speaking to him frequently. Telling stories, singing. Anything. _‘I want him or her to be used to my voice.’_ JC had told her.

McKenzie had been just as excited when she found out she was going to be a big sister. She loved pressing her hand her belly feeling the kicks. Rachel had caught the same pregnancy app on her daughter’s phone that was on JC’s. It warmed her heart that McKenzie was accepting of the baby. A baby that would be JC’s, something she had so badly wanted for herself. There had been plenty of talks from the moment she and JC had told McKenzie about the baby. With all three of them. Between her and McKenzie. Between McKenzie and JC. 

Dinner was over and the dishes put away. It had been a loud affair. Seventeen people crammed into the room. Joey had the bright idea to drag the table from Stacy’s room. That became the kid table. It was loud. It was crowded. It was glorious. Food was in abundance: ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, macaroni and cheese, green bean casserole, corn, rolls. Desert had been just as plentiful. As had the appetizers. Belt buckles had definitely been loosened. 

“I thought all the presents had been opened this morning?” Rachel put a hand on her belly, rubbing it when she felt a kick. The baby had been active today which she equated to being surrounded by her family. It was only day 6 of their vacation and everyone was already planning a return trip the following Christmas. A smile crossed her face when she thought about coming back to the same place a year from now and what the differences would be. Baby Noah James Chasez would be eleven months old. She and JC would finally be husband and wife. Their wedding was scheduled for April back in Mississippi in the church where her parents had been married almost forty years ago.

“I didn’t put this one under the tree,” McKenzie said softly, nervously rotating the thin flat package in her hand. It was wrapped in blue wrapping paper decorated with different sized silver snow flakes. 

“Why not?” Rachel looked at the package, but with McKenzie fidgeting with it, couldn’t see a tag.

“Too nervous.”

“Why are you nervous?” She questioned. “Who is it for?”

“JC…” McKenzie whispered.

The package flipped again and this time Rachel was able to see the label stuck in the corner held JC’s name along with her daughters. “Why are you nervous to give this to JC, Sweetie? You know he’ll love it no matter what it is.” Rachel had always thought nothing could make her love JC more. That had been before she saw how much he loved McKenzie. Her daughter and JC had become thick as thieves. They bonded over the piano and their disgusting pizza habits. JC was front and center for McKenzie’s volleyball games that had started in the fall. All the basketball games during the winter. Track was due to begin in February and he was already talking track meets and practice schedules. He was constantly helping her on the piano until they were sitting side by side on the bench playing together. The piano hadn’t been good enough. It was now the guitar. One of McKenzie’s Christmas gifts had been her own guitar. 

“Why didn’t you give it to him this morning?” Rachel prodded. She saw movement at the door and looked up spying her mother. She shook her head and nodded back toward the living room. With a smile, Diane walked away.

“It’s embarrassing.” McKenzie said shifting away from her mom. _‘You’re such an idiot,’_ she berated herself. She’d been so excited about the gift; had placed it under the tree, right in front for everyone to see last night. However, once she was in bed and Leighton and Briahna had fallen asleep, doubt had started to creep in. When she was sure everyone was asleep, she snuck out of the room to the Christmas tree and removed the present, hiding it beneath her clothes in one of her dresser drawers.

“Why is it embarrassing?”

“Because I don’t know how he’ll react.” To her embarrassment she felt her eyes filling with tears and she sniffled.

“Oh Sweetie,” Rachel reached out, placing a hand on her daughter’s back, rubbing it gently. “He’ll love anything you give him. You don’t have to be embarrassed to get him something. And I’ll let you in on a little secret,” she leaned closer to her daughter so she could whisper. “Parents, including stepparents, love everything their children get them.”

“Even the ring I got you in kindergarten that turned your finger green?”

Rachel grinned. “Even that.”

McKenzie stared at the package in her hands. “I don’t want JC to be my stepdad.” She blurted out.

Rachel sucked in a breath feeling her heart drop to her stomach. “Wh…what?”

“I mean…I want…” McKenzie couldn’t get the words she wanted to come out correctly. “This is why I can’t give it to him. I can’t speak correctly. I can’t even think.”

“Sweetie, calm down.” Rachel took her daughter’s hand in hers, squeezing it gently. “What’s in the package?”

“Doc-documents. I don’t want JC to be my stepdad,” McKenzie whispered. “I want him… I want him to be my dad.”

“Oh…” Rachel gasped covering her mouth with her hand as she teared up. “Oh Kenzi…”

“What if he says no?”

“Sweetie, he’s not going to say no.” Rachel believed he probably wouldn’t be able to say anything, at least at first. She and JC had talked adoption on several occasions and were waiting until they were married before taking any further steps.

“You sure?” McKenzie turned to look at her mother for the first time since she walked into the room. 

“I’m positive.” She watched as her daughter looked toward the door then back down at the package in her hand. “Do you want me to go and get him? You can give it to him in here without anyone around? It might be easier.”

McKenzie shook her head. “No.” She took a deep breath and stood up. 

“Hey,” Rachel pushed herself up off the bed and put her hands on McKenzie’s shoulders. “I love you.”

“I love you too Mom,” McKenzie grinned and hugged her mother. With the package in hand, she walked from the room.

People were spilled everywhere. Her grandma sat at the dining room table with Stacy and Melissa. Leighton and Briahna were sitting in the window seat underneath a fuzzy blanket with their phones in hand. She so badly wanted to join them, but she had to do this first. Before she chickened out.

The TV in the living was on, turned to a basketball game where the Lakers were facing the Bulls. The Christmas tree’s lights were twinkling, mirrored on the window behind it. Night had fallen. Some opened presents still sat beneath the tree waiting to be taken back to the rooms of the occupants they belonged to. A fire was crackling in the fireplace. Caleb laid on the floor playing with his new monster truck. He was running it over his matchbox cars. Kellen and Keagan were playing some war game with their new tanks and helicopters. Ford played with them, every so often turning his eyes toward the TV and the game. Joey, Michael, and Lance sat on the couch yelling at the TV. Kloey was sitting next to Joey, copying her father yelling at the TV. Normally she would be right there on the couch yelling with them, betting her allowance with Joey and Uncle Lance. Her grandpa occupied one chair. He had his reading glasses on and was turning the page of the book her Aunt Stacy had gotten him about World War II. JC was perched on the edge of the remaining chair, staring at the TV. Something happened on screen and the guys all yelled and JC scooted back in the chair as the TV went to commercial. 

McKenzie looked over her shoulder at her mother. Maybe she should have had her mother grab JC and bring her back to the bedroom away from all the eyes. It was too late now. Her mom gave her a nod and motioned her forward. She took a deep breath and took a step forward. 

“What’s going on?” Stacy asked seeing the scene in front of her. “She looks scared to death.”

“She has a present for JC,” Rachel whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

“Oh the hormones,” Melissa laughed at her friend. “I sure don’t miss those. I sent Joey to get milk one day when I was pregnant with Kloey and he came back with a carton of every single kind they had including milk of magnesia.” 

“It’s not hormones,” Rachel insisted but they probably played a small part in the tears. “Just listen,” she frowned when the game came back on. The TV was loud. 

“Hey! Kenz! That for me?” Lance grinned seeing his niece walk into the room holding a present. 

“No,” McKenzie shook her head. “It’s for JC.”

“Figures. He moved in and I’m chump liver,” he winked at his niece. He took in his McKenzie’s appearance and frowned. He looked over his shoulder for his sister and found her behind him, her eyes on her daughter and JC. Something was happening.

“For me?” JC put the glass of wine he had in his hand back on the end table and sat up in the chair. He smiled up at McKenzie. “Did Santa deliver it to the wrong place?”

“No,” McKenzie shook her head. “Santa was just too nervous to deliver it last night.”

JC frowned at her words. He could see the nervousness on McKenzie’s face and he grew worried. He hadn’t seen her this nervous about anything. He looked for Rachel, finding her standing behind the couch watching them. Her eyes, glossy with tears, met his and she smiled. He could see Stacy, Diane, and Melissa gathering behind the couch to watch the scene in front of him. Now he was growing nervous.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give this to you this morning,” McKenzie started. She looked for her mother and saw her smiling, nodding at her to go ahead. She looked back at JC and held the package out.

Lance grabbed the remote from the end table next to him and muted the TV. A glance around the room showed him that everyone was watching McKenzie and JC, except for Kaleb who drove his monster truck back over the cars. He had the bird’s eye view of the scene in front of him. JC sat in the chair to his left. McKenzie stood in front of him. He stared at the package, now in JC’s hands, and wondered what could be inside. Being flat and thin, didn’t leave for many guesses. He shifted in his seat as JC started to open the package and McKenzie spoke.

“I was so angry when I found out that you weren’t my dad,” McKenzie started. She had a speech all planned out. Now that the time had come, her mind blanked. “You came to all my volleyball games this year and helped me practice my free throw. You took time out to help me with the piano and you’re teaching me how to play the guitar… and I actually have someone who understands and can help with my science homework,” she laughed, feeling the tears spill down her cheeks. “You’re always there for me, whenever I need you. No matter what you have going on you are always there for me. Even though it was completely embarrassing to be selling Girl Scout cookies, I am so thankful that I was doing it that day because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have seen you and we might not be where we are today.”

JC let the paper from the package fall to the ground and carefully lifted the top off the box. Inside lay a packet of papers stapled together. His breath caught as he read the bold words at the top of the front page:

**Adoption Request**

Tears filled his eyes as he flipped through the papers, already filled out in McKenzie’s neat legible handwriting. On the second page he saw the section indicating the child’s new name. The tears slid from his eyes as he read _McKenzie Sofia Chasez_. He looked up at McKenzie, seeing her holding out a pen. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. 

“It doesn’t matter whose DNA I have,” McKenzie sniffed. JC’s face swam in front of her; her eyes full of tears. “I know who my father is.” Her heart was in her throat. Everything was quiet around them. “Will you be my dad, JC?” 

JC’s hand shook as he reached for the pen. Without a single ounce of hesitation, he signed his name across the line on the final page of the packet. When it was done, he sat it on the arm of the chair and jumped up, pulling McKenzie into a hug. “Of course I’ll be your dad, Kenzi,” he whispered, hugging her tight. “This is, by far, the best present I have ever received. I love you.”

“Go over there right now,” Diane whispered to Rachel, giving her a nudge. She wiped the tears off her cheeks in a wasted effort as more just took their place. 

Rachel forced her feet to move, walking behind the chair JC had been sitting in and into the room. She touched JC’s back first as she reached her family. He lifted his head and sent her a watery smile. “Can I join?”

JC chuckled and wrapped one arm around Rachel, pulling her into the hug with McKenzie. “Did you know about this?” 

“About five minutes ago,” Rachel said, leaning her head on his shoulder. She brushed her fingers through McKenzie’s hair. “You are amazing, you know that?” She said when her daughter tilted her head to look at her. 

“I know,” McKenzie giggled and hugged her mom and soon-to-be-dad again. 

“Congratulations JC! It’s a girl!” Joey grinned as he wiped the last of the tears from his eyes. He got choked up listening to McKenzie talk. “And you jumped right into the teenage stage. Good luck.”

“You’ll share the convent pamphlets with me right?” JC chuckled. He hugged his family again, unable to let them go. “You two are everything to me,” he whispered. “I love you both so much. I thank God for whatever I did that made you choose me.”

“I love you.” Rachel smiled at him through her tears.

“I love you,” JC echoed, kissing her softly. Breaking the kiss, he smiled at McKenzie. His heart completely full. “And you, Kenz…I will never stop being there for you. No matter what you do or where ever you go. I love you.”

McKenzie smiled up at him. Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you too Dad.”


End file.
